It was NOT his fault.

At least that's what Abarai Renji had kept roaring in Kuchiki Byakuya's ear all the way back to Soul Society.

"Abarai-"

"Honest, Taicho! I was workin' in Urahara's shop like I usually do, and then the pervert tells me to go clean out his closet, so I go to clean out his closet, and those little brats are following me, and I get out this large dirty roll of carpet. Well, I thought I'd be nice and clean that for 'im too, but apparently the damn thing doesn't like bein' touched, and next thing I know, I'm flying over the shop, then Ichigo's house, then Orihime's, and finally places I'd never been before, and then I was hanging by my leg upside down from a tree."

"Abarai-"

"Honest Taicho! An' then those brats found me and started callin' me a Prince and everything-"

This earned the red-head a quirked eyebrow. "A Prince you say?"

"Prince Bakarai," Renji growled in Byakuya's ear, falling limp over his captain's shoulder. "Then they had me watch a cartoon movie on one of those little box things while I just hung there..."

The 6th division captain looked down at his vice-captain's legs; the idiot had somehow managed to rip his Achilles tendon, which was why Kuchiki Byakuya was reduced to pack-mule status until they reached Soul Society.

When Abarai had been late on returning, Byakuya hadn't thought anything of it. His vice captain was perpetually late for work, appointments, and on occasion, dinner dates. Byakuya was no stranger to sitting and waiting on his vice captain, whether for work or pleasure.

Yet the fact that he had been four hours late and had not called had prompted Byakuya to check up on his wayward lieutenant in the Real World.

It was his right, of course, on many levels. He was not in the middle of work (he was actually on a small vacation), he had used his own gate, and even though he was certain his parents would not approve of his and Abarai's private relationship, he was positive that they would be turning over in their graves if they knew that Byakuya had actually cooked for the ungrateful mongrel.

And damn it all, but their dinner was getting cold.

That was unforgivable.

When he had arrived in the Real World, he had found the wayward red-head at the Urahara Shop with the little shop children; the girl had been trying to get Abarai to drink some tea (the man had refused), and the boy had been chiding Renji over his clumsiness and such.

One simple blast from Byakuya's icy reiatsu had sent the two children stumbling out.

And now here they were, almost back home, and Renji was still going on about that...'movie' the children had forced him to watch and had compared him to.

"Renji," Byakuya cut in as they emerged back on the Kuchiki Estates. "Perhaps you would be willing to tell the story of that movie after dinner. With less yelling."

"Yes Taicho," Renji muttered sullenly. "Seriously though! It wasn't my-"

Long, thin, and graceful fingers clamped delicately on Renji's lips, shutting them. "Renji," Byakuya said patiently. "I do not normally indulge myself when it comes to crude language, but I think perhaps now is a proper time to tell you...how do they say it? Shut the hell up."

And Renji did; with very wide eyes and a startled expression.

"Now, Abarai," Byakuya murmured a few hours later, sitting perched on his futon. The noble was taking a brush through Renji's hair, and the other man lay sprawled out in Byakuya's lap, enjoying the soft attention.

"Tell me the story, from start to finish."

Renji nodded, and began to speak, his rough baritone breathing life into the story.

He told the noble of a faraway land covered in sand, of a Vizier intent on claiming the throne for himself, of magical lamps, monkeys, parrots, magic flying carpets, a princess, and a street rat that masqueraded as a Prince to win the love of the Princess.

Renji's hair was free of tangles by the time the man finished, and Byakuya sat in contemplative silence for a moment.

"I see. Thank you for the story, Renji," Byakuya murmured. "Come to bed."

He had grown used to having the larger man wrapped around him at night; though it was at times stifling, uncomfortable, and even embarrassing, it provided him some comfort, to know that he had someone to watch his back, to help him fight and protect that which was important to him.

Not to mention share his bed for other things besides sleeping.

He still had nightmares about a game called Twister, and broken mattresses that had been jumped on too many times.

Yet tonight, Renji held back. He didn't attach himself to Byakuya's back like a barnacle, and even though it was nice to have some breathing room, Byakuya wondered...

"Taicho?"

Ah, this was going to be one of those nights. Questions, questions, and more questions.

Byakuya was used to this as well. Though Renji was a proud, and beautiful creature, even he occasionally needed his ego stroked.

"Yes, Renji?"

"What would ya have done if I was a Prince?"

Life with Renji was never dull, that was for certain.

Byakuya considered his thoughts for a moment, closing his eyes with a sigh. "Nothing, more than likely."

"Why?"

"Because if you really were a Prince, you would not be who you are now, Renji."

The mattress shifted slightly as Renji scooted closer. "So, you don't mind that I'm a street rat?"

Byakuya fought the impulse to roll over and strangle his lover. "Renji. We have been together for five years. Would I have accepted your invitation to dinner that first time, and every time afterward if I minded? Would I have notified the Captain General of our relationship if I did not take this relationship seriously? Would I have you every night possible in my bed if I minded?"

Renji made a small noise, full of curiosity and wonder. "So yer sayin' you wouldn't have said yes if I was a Prince?"

Byakuya's eyes snapped open as he rolled over, and grasped Renji's face in his hands. "As I have been saying for the past few minutes, repeatedly, I would not have been interested if you were not yourself. Abarai Renji, if you had been of nobility, you would not have developed you sense of honor and morals to what they are now. You would not have met and helped Rukia. You would not have struggled in the Academy and you would not have been placed in the lower ranks. You would not have had to fight and tear your way through the ranks, and I highly doubt that you would have felt the need to surpass me, even if you had been placed under me."

Brown eyes gazed at gray ones sharply, searching in the noble's eyes for sincerity and truth; Byakuya didn't bother to hide his emotions.

The moment stretched, lasted, and then faded away when Renji broke into a grin. "Even if I had a magic carpet, you'd still say no to Prince Abarai?"

Byakuya hummed thoughtfully. "...perhaps. Though I might say yes to Prince Bakarai."

"OY!"

The noble chuckled quietly, and curled deeper under the covers, and Renji.

Eh, this had been rolling around in my head for a long time. Like...the first time I saw the episode in the anime where Ichigo and the gang come back from Soul Society on that flying rug of Urahara's. And I just now got around to writing it out. XD

I think Renji came out okay in this, but I'm not so sure about Byakuya. Critiques, anyone?