Awakenings

By: DarkBlue Mint

Disclaimer: If I were to own Mai HiME I wouldn't know what to do with it.

Notes: I got kinda scared, it took me a while to get this going, and lucky for me the writers block was momentary. Forgive the grammar an all that.

Kuga Natsuki was wandering the forest of Fuuka and trying to contemplate how things had changed so much. It wasn't that hard to discern the beginning, and the middle, it was the end that was giving her trouble.

It all had started that first day in Shizuru's room, when after waking she found herself not only snuggled to the girl but also with her hand caressing her belly. When she had become flustered the light haired girl had calmed her and told her that everything was fine, Natsuki hadn't done anything wrong and she was still welcomed in the room. By the third day her hand had started to drift to the ribs, and now, eight days later... She knew this was going to happen since the beginning, albeit she knew in an unconscious way (her mind had refused for a while, but her body seemed to be real sure about what she wanted).

It had all been simple and not until two days ago, when her hand found itself (and quite content too) on Shizuru's breast. The first day Shizuru had barely reacted, both girls had silently decided to ignore it. The second day Natsuki had holed up in the bathroom and contemplated to saw off the treacherous hand. The third day (and the reason that Natsuki was lost) Shizuru had kicked her out.

Shizuru had cried this morning, told her that she couldn't do this anymore; Natsuki seemed to be playing with her, breaking her. It was becoming really hard to be with Natsuki and not be with Natsuki. She needed to make a choice, she was sorry about the ultimatum; but Shizuru wasn't sure how much longer she could hold. This was destroying her. She loved Natsuki and wanted her so much that it was making her crazy (had already made her crazy). After Shizuru had stopped talking, Natsuki had been quick to answer that she did love her.

"But do you want me? Does Natsuki desire me the same way I do? It's not Natsuki's love what I'm questioning... it's her desire." The silver lining was that Shizuru now did seem to be sure about her feelings. Natsuki didn't know when, but it seemed as Shizuru had figured that even when she didn't said it Natsuki love her completely; but love isn't the same as desire.

And there was the problem. Did she desire Shizuru? Did she crave her? Her touch? Her body? Natsuki let herself fall to the grass. Who was she kidding?

She couldn't help to remember the feel of that breast, the softness, the fullness, the way that the nipple had responded to her touch. And now she was broken, now she was addicted (and happily so). And her mind had decided to go lower, back to the sides of Shizuru, to the skin over her ribs, over those perfects abs that seemed to not be there unless she applied a little pressure, and lower still until... until what? until she kept testing the boundaries? Until she lost herself?

And would that be really bad? Wouldn't it be nice to stop wondering about the taste of the skin on Shizuru's neck and just taste her? Taste every inch of her body; kiss every inch of her skin. And to know how Shizuru's felt on her hands, how she felt against her body... What would Shizuru look like sweating, and broken, and writhing under her? (When had her mind become so graphic?)

Her hand was drifting; it wasn't the first time, the first time she had imagined geisha-like Shizuru and instead of being scared she had just pushed her and... Natsuki shook her head (those damn kimono where hard to take off). It was funny, she had had the answer all the time, she just was really slow.

--

Fujino Shizuru was trying to control her impulse of hitting her head against the wall. This was the worst day of life. She felt like an idiot, everything she always wanted on her hands and she pushed her away. Why did she need to be sure? Natsuki loved her, only an idiot couldn't see it, the girl had just always been in denial. But she had said the words before, in actions at least, and this morning she had actually said them. Still she had wanted more... now she was without her Natsuki.

A weird sound from the door took her from her contemplations (maybe instead of the wall she could use the door?), before she could investigate further it was opened and there was Natsuki, looking as the time of their fight in the carnival, so sure of herself, so determined. But wait, hadn't she made Natsuki give back the key?

"Did Natsuki just pick the lock?" This was surreal, but it explained how Natsuki had entered her room more than a week ago. "It's this how Natsuki got inside the last ti--?"

Natsuki was kissing her. And it was a very different kiss from the one a year before; this one was filled with passion and... It was hard to think. Maybe that was the reason that she unknowingly found herself in the room, with Natsuki moving her to the bed. And she was pushed and falling (though she had fallen so many years ago) and how the hell had Natsuki opened her shirt without her knowing?

"Shizuru." A kiss and a bite on her neck. "I love you." A kiss on her sternum. "I want you." The valley between her breasts. "I need you." The side of her breast. Where the hell had Natsuki learned to do this? She was better than in her fantasies! (And she had had so many of them). Wait, she had stopped.

"Why did you stop?" Was this divine punishment by her past misdeeds? (Damn Nao for having the ear of God.)

"Why do you think?" The mischievous look on Natsuki made her look as a little wolf playing with her food.

What did Natsuki wanted? Suddenly the biker went back to her throat and things became a little clearer... Though the fog of desire hadn't lifted, and was making it hard for her voice to work.

"N-Natsuki." Oh, Gods! She was starting the path again? "I love you." Her heart beat faster when the lips touched the skin over it. "I w-want you." So, so close. "I really, really need you!" Natsuki' husky laugh ignited the happiness inside her and she couldn't help the smile.

By the time that Natsuki took the nipple between her teeth Shizuru thought that the day was getting better by the second. Actually, her life was getting better by the second.

End.

More Notes: Not as good as I planned, stupid block; I'm so sorry, I could try and promise that the third part it's going to be better but I'm sure it's not. (And before you ask, it's not going to be a lemon, so don't ask).

Third part: Dreams. (Someday, I'm not making promises, there's other fics I want to write.)