Title: DiNozzing Around
Author: KellethMetheus
Written for: lostonbroadway
Prompt: Story 2: Gibbs/Abby/Tony -humor. Hijinx in Abby's lab and no
relationships other than work implied between the three parties.
Outside relationships between other characters are fine.
Archive: Yes, but let me know when you do it.
Genre: Gen
Pairings: none, well maybe Abby/Gibbs but you need to read it to find out.
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Not mine but I do own a few season on DVD.
Word Count: 1729
Summary: Tony makes a startling discovery while snooping in Abby's lab, what does it mean to the rest of the team.

Tony DiNozzo stepped off the elevator, and immediately silence descended in the bullpen. Whistling softly, he crossed the floor, setting his backpack on the desk, before dropping onto his chair.

He played with his keyboard while McGee and Ziva exchanged looks and returned to their work. Tony tired tried to ignore his teammates but the strange looks continued over the next hour. It was like they were daring him to ask so what would be the fun in ignoring them any longer.

Getting to his feet, he motioned to his fellow agents. "All right, spill, what's going on?"

Their gazes shot to each other. Tim motioned to Ziva with his chin while the ex-Mossad agent just stared, letting her glare speak for itself.

Tony let them play for a moment. knowing he'd get it out of them eventually. "Stop, just stop!" He pointed at Tim. "McGoober, tell me now or there will be Koolaid in your shower again."

Tim fumed. "That was you? Tony, I was pink for a week!"

"Just be happy I used strawberrykiwi and not grape, but that's in the past. Now what were you and Ziva discussing when I came in? You were talking about me, weren't you?"

Still unsure, Tim cast a look at Ziva but all she did was raise her eyebrows in response and give him the 'I can kill you with my pinkie' finger look.

Swallowing, Tim turned his attention back to Tony. "No, Tony we weren't. Ziva and I were discussing Abby. I was telling Ziva how old she would be on her birthday next week and Ziva didn't believe me. We stopped because you might have been Abby. She hasn't come in yet."

Tony looked back and forth between his two teammates. "You really expect me to believe that?"

Ziva said nothing. She placed her elbows on the desk, folding her hands under her chin and gave a slight shrug.

McGee just tilted his head and smiled.

Confused, Tony asked, "Just how old is she? She's not older than me?"

Tim raised his eyebrows and gave Tony a smug smile before turning back to his computer.

Turning to Ziva for help, Tony asked, "There's no way Abby's older than me, is there?"

Ziva's voice was condescending. "She is one of the best in her field, other countries and agencies ask for her help and advice every day. A reputation like that takes time to develop."

Rubbing the back of his neck, Tony said, "You're telling me she's older than me?" Neither flinched under his gaze. "Well, just how old is she?"

"Who would that be, DiNozzo?" Gibbs demanded as he appeared at his desk as if out of thin air.

Spinning around, Tony headed back to his desk. "No one, Boss. We're just discussing my last, uh date. We had a little difference of opinion about her age, but I'll get back to work now."

Tony sat down at his desk staring at his screen and for the first time in his life he wished for McGoogle's skill with a computer. McGee would be able to find Abby's age in thirty seconds flat.

Shrugging off all thoughts of Abby's age, he tried to get down to work and finish up the reports he had been neglecting. But no matter how hard he tried, there was a flea in his ear that just wouldn't go away and it just kept itching. When Abby waltzed in, he could bear it no more. He stood up so fast his chair slammed into the wall and everyone looked up.

"I'm just-" He stumbled for something to say. "I'll be right back in a few minutes." Gathering his dignity, Tony ignored the looks that passed between McGee and Ziva as he left and the burst of laughter that followed him down the hall.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Tony switched directions, heading down to Abby's lab by way of the stairs. Looking out into the hall, he made sure that none of the others had used the elevator while he was sneaking down the stairs, but Abby's lab was surprisingly empty and quiet.

Tony slipped out into the hallway and into her lab. Casting a glance around the room, he searched for Abby's purse. It was his best bet. It sat on her desk inside her office. The automatic door hissed as he entered and a sudden feeling of guilt assaulted him, making him stop, but he shoved that feeling to the background as he dug through the contents of Abby's purse. He had to know.

Unable to find what he needed, he began to remove the contents: a bone, he didn't want to know where that came from, a spare dog collar, black lipstick, and finally her wallet. He had just opened it when he heard voices: Abby's and Gibbs'.

Knowing that they would see him the minute they walked into the lab, Tony tucked the wallet under his arm and shoved everything back into the large black handbag. He ducked out of the glass room and hid behind the computer desk while he opened her wallet to search for her driver's license. He had just found it when Gibbs spoke.

"Abby, close the door. I have something to say."

Although Tony couldn't see his two teammates he heard their footstep stop. "Gibbs, are you sure this is the place to talk about this?"

"I can't think about a better place. I'm sorry, Abby, but this has to end now." Gibbs' heavier tread headed away from Abby. "I can't keep this up. You have to make a choice."

Abby let out a humph sound. "But, Gibbs-"

"No buts, Abby. It ends now!" Tony heard Abby begin to cry and then Gibbs' footsteps moved closer once more.

"No tears, you know how I feel about tears."

"I know but I love you, Gibbs, don't make me choose."

"I'm sorry, Abby, you have to. You have until the end of today to decide."

Then his footsteps were gone.

Tony sat there with his back to the wall in way too many ways. He had to get out here before Abby found him. Mainly because he didn't want he to know he'd heard that conversation, she'd told him too many times that she knew how to perform the perfect murder. Crawling on his hands and knees, he made his way toward the door. It was then his phone rang and he slapped it with his palm, shutting down the ringer.

From where he was hidden, he saw Abby's feet move towards him. Frozen in place, he held his breath, feeling a full blown panic rise in his chest, but suddenly Abby apparently changed her mind and left the room.

Tony counted to five and then scrambled out the door.

Tony raced into the bullpen and sat down not looking at Tim or Ziva. His mind was reeling with the conversation he'd overheard. Were Gibbs and Abby really in a relationship? He looked over at Gibbs who sat calmly at his own work station, oblivious to Tony's chaos of mind.

The day passed slowly and Tony's thoughts got bigger and bigger until his brain started to hurt. He watched the clock on his computer slowly move toward quitting time.

What would Abby decide? He looked over at Gibbs, who sat at his desk looking unconcerned about the ultimatum he'd given Abby.

Finally Tony got to his feet and to emphasize his point he slammed his palms onto his desk. "All right, I just can't take it anymore!"

All eyes turned to Tony and waited. No one spoke including Tony.

It was Gibbs who broke the silence. "DiNozzo, we're waiting"

Suddenly self conscious, Tony sat down and returned to work, muttering. "Nothing, Boss."

As he returned to work, Tony could feel Tim's and Ziva's eyes on him but he ignored them and tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

Finally five o'clock rolled around and Tony watched the bullpen empty out until his team were the only people left.

Twenty minutes later, Abby came through on her way to the elevator and paused.

"I found a solution, Gibbs- Tim. He doesn't mind sharing-" She looked at McGee who was packing up. "Do you?"

Tim opened his mouth but Gibbs cut him off. "Abigail, that isn't a solution, you're just avoiding the problem." He came out from around his desk. "You have to choose or I will."

Abby bit her lip before caving in. "Fine, you win! It's over. I'll come get my stuff."

Gibbs squeezed her shoulder. "Good choice. Now I'll help you gather your things."

Tony watched the scene play out, getting more confused.

As Abby and Gibbs headed for the elevator he stood up. "Now, just a minute! What's going on here? I distinctly overheard while hiding in Abby's lab that you two," his fingers pointed at Gibbs and Abby. "are in a relationship, but you're just going to let her go off with Tim, just like that?"

Everyone froze and a thick silence descended.

Minutes ticked by and then Ziva snickered, setting off everyone else.

"Me and Gibbs?" Abby doubled over with laughter and had to sit down on Ziva's desk so she didn't fall over.

Recovering, Abby stood up and walked over to Tony, patting his cheeks. "Tony, Tony, Tony, this is about the rats in my apartment. I didn't want to stay there because they're rats but I couldn't kill them either. So I have been staying at Gibbs', but he does'n't like my coffin sitting in his living room so he told me to call the exterminator or go home."

"Rats? This was about rats?" He looked at Gibbs. "So you and Abby-" He stopped, not wanting actually vocalize his thoughts.

"No we are not. Can we go now, DiNozzo, or do you want to embarrass yourself further today?"

Gathering his dignity, Tony shook his head. "Nope, I'm done." Then he looked at Tim and Ziva. "Goodnight."

Then he left using the stairs, ignoring the laughter that followed him all the way home.

Take a look at my archive at kelleth metheus. com. (take out the spaces) You'll find this one and the rest of my stories or follow the link on my profile.