I Miss You

spacegyspy1

After a brief romance, Daniel and Vala have split. Vala has left Earth. Now they each have to figure out how to get the other one back without letting anyone know they are giving in. But little do they know - their friends are conspiring behind their backs to do the same thing.

Part I - Messages

Daniel opened the note Dixon had shoved at him when they passed in the hall. His steps nearly faltered when he first noted the handwriting. Leaning against the corridor wall outside his office, Daniel read it again and again. Her voice echoing around in his head... 'darling' over and over.

Hello, Darling,

I am about to leave Remencia, I think it's P3R-195, but I really don't quite remember. I ran into Colonel Dixon in the market, it was a nice visit. It made me think of you. Well, to be honest, I think about you everyday. The first time we met and then the time apart, those good years as friends and teammates, and of course that much too short year as lovers. The one that sent us on our separate ways.

I'm quite well, Dixon said you all wonder about me, so I am letting you know that I'm safe and sound - not pirating, well, not much.

Business is good. I'm running my very legal trading business on a warm and happy little moon, way off from my old haunting grounds. A girl can't be too careful. My father, the rat, visits much and tries to swindle me repeatedly. I shoo him off, but not before he gives me one more trinket. I guess he will never stop that.

Well, darling, Dixon is about to leave so I better close this and send it with him or you'll never get it.

I still love you. I should scratch that out, but I guess I won't. Truly sorry we didn't make it together. I can't quite find anyone to compare, sad but true. Although I have the next best thing. He's a reformed pirate too. I miss you,

Vala

"Hey, you okay?" Sam touched his arm.

"Huh? What?" He looked up slowly. He'd forgot Sam had been walking with him.

"What is it? What's wrong?" It didn't take an astrophysicist to see he was upset.

"Oh. Nothing. Here." Daniel handed the note to Sam and walked away.

Once she read it, Sam took out after Daniel, following him into his office. "Why do you do it? Pretend, and then continue on as if everything is okay?"

"Because it is. I've moved on and obviously so has she. I'm in a nice relationship with Margaret."

With a snort, Sam pushed the issue. "Meg. Her name is Meg. Every one calls her Meg, except for you. And occasionally dating or 'nice' isn't exactly a..."

"Don't!" Daniel narrowed his eyes. "We made a choice - Vala and I. We tried and it didn't work. It's good to know she's alive and doing well. That's enough for me."

"You're such an ass!" Sam threw the note on Daniel's desk and stormed out.

Sighing, Daniel dropped his chin to his chest and stuffed his hands in his pockets. "Yeah, I know that," he said out loud to the empty room.

xxxxx

"What is wrong?" The deep voice startled Vala out of her daze.

"Oh. Nothing. Nothing much." She put her elbow on the table, and her chin on the top of her hand. "And where have you been?"

"Waiting for word of your return. Something is troubling you. What is it?"

Looking up into his green eyes, Vala asked, "Honestly?"

"Of course."

"I'm not happy, Garr, not happy at all." She confessed with a weary sigh.

Running his hands through his long dark hair, Garr sat. "I figured that out long ago. I thought you would eventually get over him."

"What?" Sitting up straight, Vala blinked. "Get over who? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Whoever you left behind. The ghost that has kept you out of my bed."

"Pfft!" Vala scratched at the table with a finger nail.

He kept his gaze on her, waiting.

"Who I left behind is no one important." With a wide smile she patted the top of his hand.

"I thought we were being honest."

Her shoulders slumped and the smile withered. "I wish I'd tried harder. I wish he'd tried harder. Oh! I don't know. I don't know what happened. But I can't seem to get him out of my thoughts."

Garr leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes for a moment. "Why don't you go back?"

"Too late." Her voice held a world of sadness.

"It's never to late, Vala."

"I ran into an old acquaintance this morning, who told me. Well, actually, she dropped by to see me, she...she's a friend of a friend..of sorts. Daniel's seeing someone."

The name, Daniel, registered with Garr. She'd never said it before today. Looking away, he mumbled, "so are you."

Burying her face in her hands, Vala groaned. "Please don't be so nice! I sent him a note through someone I ran into a few days ago on Remencia and I didn't know that he was with someone when I sent it. I didn't know until this morning when Istha came by. It's almost like cheating on you! Besides, we...we didn't...we weren't right for each other, we were always out of balance."

"I want to see you happy." Garr managed a weak smile. "Have you ever seen a blanchean?"

"A what?"

He took her hand, "It's for children. One side goes up and the other goes down, back and forth. And a person is on each end. You work together to keep it going. Sometimes it will balance in the middle because you are even and you hoover there. Whoever is carrying the heavier load has to scoot forward if it starts to list."

Raising a brow, Vala tilted her head in confusion. "A seesaw? Yes, I've seen one."

"It works like a relationship, you just never learned to scoot closer...and maybe he didn't either. I don't want to lose you. But I guess I never really had you." He looked her right in the eyes. "Did I"

"I'm sorry. I thought I would get over him. And I'm very fond of you. Very."

"But you love this, Daniel? Someone on Earth?"

"Yes. I still love him." Vala looked away. "I'm afraid I always will. I hate that! I don't want to love him. I really wanted to love you."

"Vala, I know that."

"Dear, you don't seem the least bit upset. Should I be offended?"

The man smiled kindly, "I've always known there was someone else and that I would only have a short time with you - I took it. Of course, I hoped I was wrong and you'd come to love me."

"I've been there before. Tried so hard to be 'in love' with someone I'd come to care for, love in a different way than I love...him, but in the end I knew – I knew I was doomed to a life of never having …." Vala took a deep breath and let it out. "Never mind. No sense in boring you with all the details. You're such a wonderful person. You've been so good to me. And we've had some fun adventures."

"Yes, we have. But as you said, we should not dwell. We will always be friends." He paused a moment in thought. "Do you think this Ishta is trustworthy?"

"Ha! She's like a Mother Confessor or something. She's a priestess, and more than that, she's Muscles' girlfriend/wife/lover/partner something or the other...anyway, the only way she would have known is from Muscles and he wouldn't lie. Ever."

"So, you think your friend Muscles told her to tell you?"

"Why else would she have come? She only knows I'm here because I...I mentioned it to Muscles before I left...just in case. You know, something awful happened and I needed to know. Like if someone died. But he would never tell, except Ishta. Why did she come?"

"This Muscles person. I think he was sending you a message. What exactly did she say?"

"That everyone was well back...back home. And Daniel wasn't very happy. Now why would Muscles go to all the trouble of sending Ishta to tell me that?" Vala dropped her head on the table. "I'm so confused. I'm tired."

Garr stood. "You should go to bed, Vala, you look exhausted. I will make you some tea, then go. We can talk tomorrow."

Placing a hand on his arm, Vala spoke softly as she rose. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know. Are you sure that is all Ishta said?"

"Well, there was something about...'life is like an odyssey or life is an odyssey or about an odyssey and not the final outcome'... I'm not sure. I can tell you this... Daniel doesn't want me."