Nepeta was well-attuned to romance - she has to be, to keep a lookout for any possible ships among her friends. Naturally, she was good at spotting quadrant opportunities for herself. After all, hadn't she been the first to know that she and Equius were going to be the greatest of moirails, when he was still denying that he held any affection for the troll who kept bothering and bothering and bothering him? Look how that had turned out!
She never had much interest in getting a kismesis or an auspitice, so that was fine for now. A matesprit, though... Around her were trolls growing flushed feelings for each other, something she watched with amazement. She and her friends were too young to mate, of course, but the electric connection was still there, the intense feelings that drew you to a person and made you want to listen to them for hours and kiss them even when you also wanted to punch them in the face.
At least, that was what she figured from paying attention to flushed trolls. She'd never had a matesprit of her own, not yet.
There was a troll she thought she might be her matesprit. Severin was a green-blooded troll about her shade and age. He liked roleplaying and was more than happy to play the advisor to the Pouncellor as long as she didn't mind being the chief hunter employed by the Emperor sometimes. He wasn't much of a hunter himself, but admired her strength and speed. His own talents were more musical, and he demonstrated them for her whenever she asked.
Nepeta was enraptured. She had never looked forward to visiting someone this much except for Equius, and Severin clearly didn't need her help being kept under control. He was matesprit material, definitely, definitely. So she did the logical, traditional thing in this situation: she introduced him to her moirail. Equius would be proud.
Except Equius wasn't proud. He seemed downright reluctant to even see her potential matesprit until Nepeta reminded him that geeze, this was what she was supposed to do and wasn't he the one who was always telling her to be more like a proper troll? Then he let up and agreed, but when she led Severin into his hive they found him brutally destroying one of his robots. Severin seemed nervous at that, and it just got worse from there.
Aurthour served them all food as Equius interrogated Severin about his hobbies. The reassurance that his brand of roleplaying wasn't as dangerous as Vriska's didn't seem to ease the tension in the room any. He offered to play something to lighten the air and Equius sat stony-faced through an entire song. And of course, when they talked about strength...
Nepeta accompanied him back to his hive assuring him that Equius was just a sourpuss and would come around to him. He didn't even like her at first! Severin listened to her silently, and then told her that she was the nicest troll he had ever met, but he didn't want her moirail to kill him, and maybe it would be better if they didn't see each other for a while. They could still talk on Trollian. It wouldn't be that bad.
Gradually, they fell out of contact with each other. Nepeta swallowed her disappointment.
Frans was a blueblood, of a shade inferior to Equius's blood but still really good. She'd been startled by him when out hunting and lost her catch because of it, but the conversation after that made up for it. He was learning to hunt, which she offered to provide her expertise in as a tutor. They saw each other many times after that, and he got better and better at bringing down game. In between lessons, they chatted on Trollian about little things in their lives.
This time Equius couldn't scare him off, she thought. She asked him to come to her moirail's hive, he agreed, she asked Equius to have him over, he agreed with less prodding.
Things went more or less the same after that, unfortunately. Frans didn't frighten as obviously, but Equius was still blatantly hostile. At one point he pulled Frans over for a brief conversation, which Nepeta would later learn consisted basically of threats.
Frans stopped agreeing to hunting lessons after that. She knew it was coming.
There were one or two more trolls after that, no less enjoyable to speak to, but without much of a chance. They were what Equius would consider lowbloods, and she didn't bother subjecting them to his anger. He might have actually gotten violent, and moirails didn't encourage that.
The last troll she invited to Equius's hive was different. She had almost given up on getting a matesprit with an overprotective moirail in tow when she met her. Trine was beautiful to the point where Nepeta was jealous of it, but she never flaunted her beauty. She was dignified. She was strong and took no guff about anything. She looked over Nepeta's drawings in her hive and didn't laugh at the roughness or their romantic subjects. She spent time talking to Nepeta, and while she didn't roleplay, she didn't tell Nepeta to stop either.
Of no importance in Nepeta's personal esteem, but possibly the most crucial part: Trine had purple blood.
This time, this time for sure. Equius had been excited about her attracting the attention of a highblood, at least up until she mentioned the possibility of flushed feelings on either side. From then on he seemed subdued, but at least when she mentioned that Trine wanted to meet her moirail he agreed.
There was no threatening in this visit. Equius hadn't even been demolishing anything when they came in. He was quiet, answering direct questions politely and carefully and saying very little else. He didn't even comment on Nepeta's poor eating habits, which she deliberately slipped back into to see if she could draw him out of his shell. Nothing.
Trine wanted to walk back home by herself, and Nepeta agreed. She had a bizarrely-acting moirail to attend to.
She was about to demand an explanation for his behavior when he beat her to it. "Don't see her again."
"What?" That had not been what she was expecting. "You've never ordered a highblood around!"
"Making demands of a highblood would be a gross impropriety and something I would never do," he agreed. "I'm ordering you instead. Don't see her again."
"You're impawsible!" She huffed, considering punching a robot for stress relief but knowing that that really only worked for Equius. "Why do you care so much?"
"You're my moirail," he answered instantly, "I have to make certain that your matesprit is appropriate. I don't want you to settle-"
"She was appropriate!" Nepeta snarled. "She was classy and strong and smart and purractically purrfect! And she's a highblood! She's everything you like and she's still not good enough for me?"
Very quietly, he answered, "No, she's not."
She glared at him. "Then who is? Why don't you want me to have a matesprit, Equius?"
"That isn't what I said. I do want you to have a matesprit. ...I want it to be me."
She opened her mouth to argue when his words hit her. "...Really?"
Equius nodded, and Nepeta noticed for the first time the blue coloring his cheeks. "I would never joke about something so important. I've been flushed for you for a long time."
After a moment of thought, Nepeta answered, "I guess I'd better tell her that I can't be her matesprit after all."
"Nepeta, if you truly are concupiscent for her, I have no right to-" he began, but stopped at seeing her smile.
"Because I already have one."