Becoming Tabitha

Chapter One

Tabitha looked down in the ground as she with heavy steps was walking home from school. As she turned to her home street she automatically raised her eyes and as the house that she had called her home for her whole life came into view, she felt her steps getting heavier and she sighed loudly. She didn't know why, but recently she had developed a strange reluctance of being at home and as soon as she reached the house after school she felt the strange knot in her stomach, that knot that now was becoming so familiar. But still it wasn't her home that was the problem. She felt reluctant spending time at school as well. She felt hopeless and depressed basically everywhere and she couldn't understand why. And what was more was that recently she felt as if she really didn't care. She didn't care about anything any longer. Not even her studies felt important anymore. She had always been very hard-working in school and for a very long time she had been one of the top students. And that wasn't strange. In the past she had always liked school and even in her free time she had often been wrapped up in a book either staying around in school or the library, really feeling at her most when she learned things. But lately her studies somehow seemed pointless. It felt as if her efforts and interest didn't mean anything or that something essential was missing. She sighed tiredly and felt the heavy school bag press even more heavily against her shoulder.

Not too aware of her surrounding, she suddenly jerked when noticing loud laughs across the street. She looked up and saw a couple of high-spirited teens walking by on the other side of the street, chatting happily. She recognized them immediately. They had for several years been quite good friends to her, but now she instead knew them mostly as some of her little brother's many friends. Ever since they were little Tabitha and Adam had been close, and as they grew up it was natural that they shared many of the same friends. But lately, Tabitha had not only slipped away from Adam but also from most of their friends, feeling as if she didn't have anything in common with them anymore and that she didn't really belong. First she thought she would miss them, but she'd quickly realized that she didn't mind that much at all. She figured that it just couldn't be helped, and accepted that. Because she was much more rather alone where she could be herself than spent time with people she didn't like being with and in company where she was forced to be someone else. Because that was the type of situation it had become, and it had been unbearable.

As the group of people noticed Tabitha on the other side of the street, they slowed down their pace and cheerfully called out their hellos, welcoming her to join them. Even if they lately mostly just politely greeted each other when they met like this, in school or when they visited Adam, Tabitha knew that some of them were still a bit confused of Tabitha's odd desertion from their company and in vain tried to rejoin her with them.

Not at all being in the mood for chit chat, she forced a smile and waved politely, calling back that she didn't have time. As she noticed that they let her be, Tabitha let her strained smile fade as her previous feeling of hopelessness washed back over her. She kicked a stone indifferently, and as she did she felt a small piece of plastic in her jeans pocket. Automatically she started fingering the plectrum and suddenly she felt a glimpse of joy. In the absence of her former friends Tabitha had of some reason turned an increasing interest in music, more specifically different kinds of rock music. When she wasn't focusing on her studies, that still was important to her even if she had lost most interest, Tabitha spent all her time listening to music and recently she had also started playing the guitar. Much to Tabitha's surprise she had managed to persuade her parents to buy her an electric guitar for her birthday last year and ever since she practised as much as possible and now she thought that she was actually becoming rather good. The progress made her dedicate even more time to it and now it was only when she spent time with her music that she felt somewhat happy. But despite the recess Tabitha had found in her music, her parents didn't hide the fact that they disapproved, even though that they were the one buying the guitar in the first place. Tabitha did realized that the loud and original music as well as Tabitha's new controversial appearance that somehow came with the music, was a bit different from what her parents were used to, but they had no right to criticize. If anything they should be happy for her. Because Tabitha knew her depressed mood worried them and since she now finally had found something that she really enjoyed, they should be pleased. Instead they seemed even more worried and almost blamed her melancholy on her music interest, and it annoyed her enormously. In fact her parents seemed to annoy her with whatever they did.

She kicked another stone, just as indifferently as the previous one, and as she reached her home, she could see her mother raking away some leaves from the front lawn.

"Hi sweetheart," Samantha cheerfully said noticing that her daughter was home. "How was your day?"

Not feeling up to talk to her mother either Tabitha didn't care to slow down, as she shrugged her shoulders and said indifferently, "All right..."

Samantha couldn't help but feeling a bit concerned seeing her daughter so apathetic. Especially since that was how she mostly saw her daughter lately, apathetic or depressed: one or the other.

Wanting to cheer her up Samantha happily said, as she put away the rake, "Your father won't be home until late, so I and Adam figured that the three of us could go out and grab some pizza and maybe go to the movies. Doesn't that sound like fun?"

Hearing that her mother kept on talking Tabitha sighed and stopped walking. She shook her head dreary, "nah, I'm all right. I think I'll just stay home studying."

"But it's Friday night…," Samantha protested disappointedly, feeling the concern rise again.

She would gladly understand if Tabitha had other plans with her friends this Friday night, but to sit around at home all alone, worried Samantha indeed. It did not only seem as if Tabitha never did anything fun anymore, but also it seemed as if she'd become a bit of a loner. She was rarely out with other people in her age and when Adam's and her friends came over Tabitha didn't seem to be like 'one in the gang' anymore, as she once was. Instead she kept to herself studying. Even if both Samantha and Darrin always had been very proud of Tabitha's well school result, they both started wondering if she took school a little bit too serious. Because maybe it was her ambitious studying that interfered with her social life, causing her to be so lonely and sad.

She looked at Tabitha pleadingly, hoping she would change her mind anyway.

"Yeah well, I have tons of schoolwork to do until Monday," Tabitha defended herself plainly, even if she knew that wasn't completely true. She just wasn't in the mood of going out, but not wanting her mother to fret she said, forcing herself to sound a bit less blue, "But I don't mind. Really, I don't."

Samantha sighed silently, not really being surprised that Tabitha came up with an excuse. Because it was not only her friends she didn't spend any time with anymore but it was obvious she always did her best not to spend any time with her family either. She never joined the rest of them when they were doing something fun or let herself have a good time with them when they were all together at dinner or while watching TV or playing a game. She didn't even spent any time with Adam anymore, as they had done when they were younger. She looked back at her daughter, who now was on her way inside. Not really being ready to give up just yet, Samantha reached out her hand to Tabitha, stopping her from going inside. "Tabitha?" she asked with an obvious worry in her voice. "Are you all right?"

"Sure," Tabitha said, even forcing a smile, although not a very convincing one, not really being up to her mother's fuss about her mood, as so many times before.

Samantha sighed disappointedly, recognizing Tabitha's façade all too well. "Wouldn't you come with us anyway? Maybe it would cheer you up," Samantha tried again.

"I said I was fine," Tabitha said, now starting to get impatiently.

"But school work can wait until tomorrow, can't it?"

"No, it can't," Tabitha answered a little bit too surly.

Samantha sighed and looked anxiously at her daughter, hoping in vain Tabitha could understand that she was only trying to help, "But Tabitha you really have to take a day off sometime. I or your father can help you with your school work this weekend and…"

But before she could continue Tabitha huffily cut her off, "can't you just drop it? I'm not coming with you!" And with that she turned around and went inside, leaving her worried mother behind.

Samantha sighed deeply. Even if Tabitha as a child had been a bit of a handful with her defiant use of witchcraft, Tabitha had never really caused Samantha and Darrin any worries, at least not since she stopped using her powers, now many years ago. A long with her well school result she had always helped out around the house and never really caused any trouble. But now not a day went by when Samantha didn't worry about their daughter, who really wasn't herself anymore. If she wasn't depressed or indifferent she was surly or fierce, and neither was consoling to Samantha. She wanted nothing but to help her daughter with whatever trouble she was having, but as soon as Samantha or Darrin tried to talk to her about it, or something else for that matter, she shut herself up like a clamshell or just glared at them, complaining that they didn't understand. She had become completely unreachable for them and, what it seemed, for everyone else. And it distressed Samantha greatly. The only thing that somehow seemed to get to Tabitha, beside her studies, was that strange music she had gotten a big interest in. But that didn't exactly comfort Samantha, more the opposite. Because the influence it no doubt had on their daughter could doubtless be of any good. The aggressive and hardcore sound could make anyone depressed, Samantha thought and she feared it would only bring Tabitha to become even more miserable. Furthermore, it was without a doubt the music that had turned their otherwise very neat daughter, to now keep a most untidy appearance with odd and controversial clothes and messy hair, and to Samantha that was one sign that the music wasn't of any good. If she and Darrin would have known what Tabitha's interest in music would develop into, she strongly doubted they would have given her that guitar they had bought Tabitha for her birthday. But they had, and after all Tabitha did seem to like it, in her own strange way.

Darrin kept trying to persuade Samantha that Tabitha's behaviour and change in character was quite normal for a girl in her teens and that Samantha, who wasn't at all used to this mortal adolescence, shouldn't need to worry. But even if Samantha was sure he was right, she still didn't like to see her daughter this way and it distressed her that she felt so helpless.

But that wasn't the only thing that worried Samantha. What no one but Samantha knew was also the fact that Tabitha was approaching a very special moment in her life, namely her magical "coming off age" ceremony, Evoluventus. As always with these ceremonies the mother or father of the young witch or warlock got some kind of signs that the time was approaching, and for just a couple of days ago Samantha had gotten the signs. At first she couldn't understand what it was about, especially because she hadn't spent it another thought, not thinking it would be time in at least a couple of years, if it ever would be time for Tabitha, considering that she wasn't 100% witch. But then, as the signs had gotten stronger, there were no doubt what it was about. Intuitively Samantha had started worry. Basically it was the fact that Tabitha's mortal adolescence seemed to clash with her magical equivalent. Apparently Tabitha's mortal genes and upbringing made her go through adolescence as any normal mortal teenager, but apparently her magical genes made her also ready for Evoluventus, and much to Samantha's distress it seemed to happen simultaneously. Not having any prior example to go after, Samantha worried that the mixture would somehow be damaging, although she realized that she maybe was overreacting a bit. Still it was her daughter it concerned and everything that could cause slightest trouble for one of her children intuitively worried Samantha. Although, it wouldn't worry her as much as it did if Tabitha's mortal adolescent troubled mind couldn't interfere with the Evoluventus' outcome. The ceremony was basically an analysis of the young witch or warlock, and the result of the analysis would guide them throughout their lives. Samantha couldn't help but feel anxiety that the analysis could be unjust since Tabitha was obviously in a very troubled stage in her life. That was why she would wish that Tabitha's ceremony would come later, when she had had the opportunity to sort things out and when her mortal adolescent period had passed. But that was another thing that brought worry to Samantha. Tabitha was unusual young to go through Evoluventus, and Samantha couldn't understand why Tabitha could be ready for the ritual at this age, when it for Samantha was obvious her mortal adolescence made her less ready for it, than older witches that went through the ritual themselves.

Samantha sighed. This whole thing seemed to be such a mess, and what made things even worse was that Samantha felt totally helpless. Also she didn't seem to have anyone to talk to about it. The one that was in most need of understanding what was going on, namely Tabitha, was the one person Samantha couldn't mention anything of this to. It was very important that anyone that hadn't went through the ceremony themselves, especially the young witch or warlock it mostly concerned, didn't know anything about the ritual until it was time. So patiently Samantha had to wait until it was time, while hoping Tabitha would straighten her troubled mind out before, as well doing everything in her own power to help her daughter, although that didn't seem to go to well. Obviously Samantha was not allowed talking to Darrin about it either, since he hadn't gone through the ceremony. During the unusual circumstances she was allowed to tell him though, but not until just before. And since it wasn't quite time Samantha had to keep it for herself a while longer.

Samantha had thought about calling for Endora, who hadn't been around for quite some time, but not really feeling certain that her mother, or any other of her relatives for that matter, would understand the complex situation, she had lingered. For the time being Samantha kept it for herself, still hoping it would last awhile until it was time and until Tabitha wasn't as troubled.

Tabitha walked speedily up to her room and threw herself on the bed. She stared up in the ceiling and let out a big sigh. Her parents', and especially her mother's, constant worry about her, really started to get on her nerves. All right, Tabitha thought, she wasn't the happiest girl anymore and she did feel depressed or blue most of the time, but her parents' worry certainly didn't help. If anything, their complete loss of understanding made Tabitha even more annoyed at them.

She sighed again and twitched her nose making the LP-player to loudly start play. Even if Tabitha almost never used her witchcraft, she couldn't stop herself from doing small things when she felt too blue or weary, as for this afternoon.

Feeling totally blasé, she let the sound fill the room.

But in a minute or two Adam furiously stormed into her room, shouting over the music, "Tabitha! Turn it down! I'm trying to watch TV!"

Tabitha looked at her brother annoyed. "Oh Adam, shut up!" she called back, as she twitched her music even louder. Just as with everyone else in Tabitha's life she had also drifted away from her brother. To Tabitha he had become plain annoying, and they didn't seem to do anything anymore, except constantly fighting.

When noticing she wouldn't give in, Adam rushed downstairs and out to Samantha. Within a minute Adam was back followed by Samantha. "Tabitha!" Samantha yelled sternly. "Turn the music down!"

Knowing there was nothing else for her to do than do as she was told Tabitha walked over to the stereo and turned the music down, obliging in the only way that was acceptable in the house – the mortal way. Even if Tabitha didn't care to hide her rare occasion of witchcraft-use from her brother, she would never even think of revealing it to her parents. They forbad her to use it, and to Tabitha it seemed most sensible to let them believe she obliged their rules.

She went back to the bed and glared at her brother, as if to tell him that he was such a chicken who had to run to mommy for every little thing.

"Thank you," Samantha said content, letting the glare from Tabitha pass. She pushed Adam outside, knowing that this was no time for her children to be in the same room, as she followed close behind, closing the door behind them.

About half an hour later, Samantha carefully peeked into Tabitha's room to see if she had cooled off from earlier. Even if she hadn't, Samantha anyhow wondered if she possibly had changed her mind about joining them out, but with an answer in the negative, Samantha let it go.

Within minutes Tabitha heard the front door close behind them. She sighed, actually not knowing why she didn't go with them. But even if it couldn't be worse than being stuck in her room all night, her pessimism towards her mother's idea were somehow unavoidable. But before she could think of it any further, a shrill and very cheerful call was heard from downstairs: "Yoo-hoo, anybody home?"

Tabitha felt her problems all washed away as she without a doubt recognized her Aunt Serena's bright voice. Quickly she was on her feet rushing down the stairs. "Serena?" She called, suddenly feeling unusual happy.

"Oh, hi Tab," Serena cheerfully said as she turned around and saw Tabitha coming down the stairs, "what's up?"

"Nothing much… glad to see you though!"

"Ohh…" Serena smiled contented, delighted of the welcome. "Well, it ain't too bad to see you either. And I love your new style!" She then added impressed and gave an approval look up and down Tabitha's black tapered jeans and shabby grey t-shirt and her untidy hair. "Very wild."

Tabitha smiled, never hearing a single complimenting word about her appearance before.

They went on chatting for awhile before Serena wanted to know where Samantha was.

"She's out with Adam for some pizza and movie. She won't be home until late. Why?"

Serena sighed disappointedly of the news. "Well, all of my so called friends are away and I'm just dying for some company to join me for a reunion concert at the Cosmos Cotillion tonight," Serena complained childishly. "I know it's out there but I was kinda hoping your mother wanted to join me. After all it was her favourite band once… But now when even she is away… Oh, I feel so lonely…" Serena theatrical cried.

"I can join you!" Tabitha suggested eagerly, wanting nothing more than to see cosmos as well as cheer Serena up.

"Heeey…That's an idea..," Serena said as she shone up, as if all of her problems were away, thinking it could actually be a fun change to hang out with Tabitha. But then she anxiously said, "But I don't know, your mother would have an absolute fit if she knew and I already owe her tons…"

"Mom doesn't have to find out," Tabitha tried to convince her eagerly. "I'll just leave a note that I'm out with a friend." And in a second, a note was written in the air and twitched to the drawer by the door.

"Well..," Serena wasn't quite convinced.

"Serena, come on! When did you start worrying what other people think anyway?" Tabitha challenged her boldly.

Serena looked at her sneakily, clapped her hands together and let out a wide smile, "All right! You've convinced me!"

In a second Serena hooked her arm in Tabitha's, before she waved her other arm and in a flash they were gone.

Several hours later Tabitha popped back behind a bush close to their house, not wanting her family to suspect anything if they were home and awake. With a broad smile on her face, feeling happier than in a very long time, she walked up the walkway to the house just as Darrin's car pulled up at the parking space.

"Tabitha?" he asked surprised, as he exit the car. "What are you doing out at this hour?"

"I was just out with a friend. I left a note to mother," Tabitha explained, not wanting any unnecessary questions.

"Oh… all right," Darrin replied satisfied, happy that Tabitha for a change had been out for some fun, as they walked inside the dark house. "Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Was all right," Tabitha answered plainly not wanting to sound over-excited, even though she practically bubbled of joy inside.

"Where were you?" Darrin curiously wanted to know.

"Eh…" Tabitha searched her brains, wondering what to say, "Just a new place. You wouldn't know it…"

Darrin laughed, knowing she was probably right, Darrin not understanding much of the teens' whereabouts anymore.

Relieved that her father didn't seem to suspect anything, Tabitha silently hurried up the stairs while wishing him good night, before he could ask anything more about her escapade with one of his much unappreciated in-laws.

Still in good spirit from last night, Tabitha went down to the kitchen to help out with the breakfast. But when noticing she would only be in the way with her mother almost being ready with the pancakes and Adam just about to finish laying the plates, she instead jumped up on the bench dangling her legs. "Morning," she said unusually happy.

"Good morning, Tabitha," Samantha said with a smile, surprised but happy to see Tabitha in another mood than her usual blue one. "I'm glad you decided to go out yesterday to have some fun after all. Your dad told me you seemed to have had a good time."

"Yeah, it was all right."

"Who were you with?" Samantha curiously wondered, really wanting to take advantage of this rare good-spirited moment with her daughter, as well curious of who could cheer Tabitha up.

"Eh…" Tabitha swallowed, while frantically searching her brain for something good to say. "Just a new friend I've got," she then lied.

"Well why don't you ask her or him over sometime? You haven't brought your friends over for quite some time."

"Eh, yeah, maybe…," Tabitha again lied, knowing that that wouldn't happen. At least not in the way her mother thought. Really not wanting any more questions she jumped down from the bench and peeked over her mother's shoulder. Hoping to change the subject, she wondered, "Breakfast done yet?"

"Just one more to go," Samantha said and poured the last bit of the pancake batter into the pan. "Oh, before I forget," Samantha then suddenly said as if something just had hit her, "Your grandmother called and said they'll drop by tomorrow afternoon. Wouldn't that be nice?"

Adam, who was sitting at the table not being too engaged in the previous discussion, now beamed up. "Oh, great!" he exclaimed happily, always appreciating meeting his grandparents, "I bet grandfather have some new cool invention he can show us."

Not feeling too exceedingly happy about it, Tabitha drifted away in her own thoughts, not paying too much attention to her brother and mother, who were now in deep conversation about her grandfather's many inventions. But not staying out of the conversation too long, Tabitha instead said, "When's grandmamma Endora coming for a visit? It was ages ago she was here…"

"I don't know." Samantha said a bit off, feeling a bit concerned at noticing Tabitha's dismiss of her grandfather, only to bring up her grandmamma Endora.

Not noticing the offish tone in her mother's voice, Tabitha continued, "I miss her! Can't we call for her or something?"

"I'm sure she'll turn up eventually," Samantha simply said.

"Well, what if she doesn't? It's not as if we ever invite her or something…She might feel rejected."

"Oh don't you worry Tabitha. She'll pop in sooner or later. My mother always does."

Darrin, who'd just entered in a good mood, suddenly dropped his shoulder and got a most weary expression on his face, when hearing a discussion of his mother-in-law. He sighed loudly, and without really thinking about it he said tiredly, "let's hope for later…"

Hearing her father's displeased remark, Tabitha glared irritated at him.

"Why don't you like grandmamma?" she then surly asked, tired of her father's constant dislike for her grandmother. It had always been obvious that her father and grandmother Endora never did get along, but still Tabitha felt frustrated that whatever or whoever Tabitha liked, one or often both of her parents didn't like.

When seeing her father's restrained look on his face from her question, Tabitha knew it was no idea hearing his answer. And with that Tabitha felt her usual hopeless mood washing over her. Not feeling up to spending time with her family anymore she turned around and started walking out the room while surly mumbling, "I'll go up to my room."

"But what about breakfast?" Samantha hopelessly tried.

"I'm not hungry anymore," Tabitha shortly stated as she walked out.

Samantha sighed deeply as she saw her daughter exit before she glared at Darrin. "Was that really necessary?"

"What?" Darrin looked at her bewildered, not really understanding what he'd done. Sure, he shouldn't talk bad about Endora in front of his children, but he didn't think he done so much wrong this time.

"She was so happy when she came down, happier than I've seen her in a long time, and then poof…," Samantha snapped her fingers, "…you come and turn everything back to the normal misery in a second."

She put the plate of pancakes roughly onto the table and seated her self, made a gesture for Adam to eat, before she grabbed herself a pancake.

Darrin sat down quietly, sure not to say a peep, actually starting to blaming himself for wrecking this Saturday morning.