It was cold outside. Pikachu grabbed the sheet he was wrapped with and covered himself almost completely. He wasn't sleeping, he was staring at the work of art outside: the ground was completely covered by snow which was still raining from the gloomy skies, people building snowmen with occasional teenage perverts making 'female' snowman by adding some boobs and hair made of melons' remains and glued cherries, while the hair were but fake. Some bullies forcing the snowballs into the kids' faces. Things happening.
He saw Ash come back. He growled then threw a grenade at a passing Seismitoad. It didn't explode because Pikachu didn't pull the ring, but it still scared the living skit out of the bigger pokemon.
Ash entered Pikachu's bedroom. He looked at him then talked. "How you there then when where so uh what however somewhat wherever metal demons bake dubstep sharks screaming of times of past?" Hearing this enraged Pikachu. He gave Ash a glare so terrifying, he suffered and died.
When the funeral began, Pikachu screamed. And again. And again. He then approached the grave. He broke the gravestone with his erection, sneezed at the effigy of his short-lost trainer, defecated to where his head must be, then he came, shuddering atop the coffin. He smeared his semen on it drawing a skull with ribbons and a cute smile. He left, leaving his place to someone else. It was May with her Blaziken and she had a BDSM-all-in-one-pack. Pikachu sniffled, because he was cold.
When that night Pikachu went to sleep, he saw Ash's ghost. He had a beard and wore a potato on his head.
"Mmmmmmmrgh, I sue sea cows with laser guns for stealing my pants, but my head is made of my ass and my armpits are in my face, so-" Pikachu interrupted the random bullshit by biting on his beard. Ash moaned. Pikachu made out with the beard, while Ash cried. Suddenly, May broke in.
"NEVER FOREVER WHEREVER HOWEVER WHENEVER WHATEVER!" She screamed, while her Blaziken repeatedly punched his rear against PIkachu's face. Ash laughed. Suddenly, Blaziken got up with the most serious face he could do. He didn't move. He then grinned so much, satan on coke looked relatively depressed.
"I want to slit my own cock with a knife." he droned. Everyone froze. He took out a knife out of nowhere. He snarled, and his meaty erection came out, ready for command.
He grabbed the head, prepared the knife, then thought of consequences. He won't be able to piss properly, reproduce, or even masturbate. The only way he will be able to channel his lust out will be anal sex...
He took a breath, then swung his knife. A harsh cutting sound emerged, followed by a scream and a pressurized blast of cockblood, which he aimed in May's face, despite the pain. Everyone panicked, ran around like schizophrenic headless Combuskens. Later. their hearts simply stopped out of sheer terror when the Blaze Pokemon's scream slowly mutated into a sick laughter, a voice of a soul that went painfully insane. Ash had a heart attack, and didn't get up as he hanged somewhere beyond death and life, a place of utter suffering. May's fingers touched her face, and retracted. The blood was sticky, like cum.
She screamed.
Blaziken took his severed cock and punched it through his own throat, causing a square root of a paradox, which caused all suns to turn into chocolate and Bisharp to become the sexiest pokemon ever. Now go catch one, ya perv.