I haven't written any fan fiction in over two years, and a new fic is the last thing I should be writing, what with my last piece still waiting to be updated. But, ah, here we go. After all, the world could always do with another dose of Sniper and Spy foe yay.

'You heard what Scout's been running around telling everybody, Spy?'

The BLU Spy looked up from his cigarette case. The Engineer was always doing this, trying to engage him in conversation. He really didn't know why the man bothered. The Spy wasn't known for being friendly, even with his own team.

'No, I have not. I've never known anything he wishes to share to be worth listening to.'

'Well, it might just be this time.'

The Engineer had a faintly smug look on his face. It was the type that you saw when someone knew something you didn't and was enjoying holding it over you. The Spy should know, it was practically his default expression.

He snapped the case he was holding closed and tucked it away into his jacket. That was as long as it took for the other man to give in and tell him.

'He says he overheard the RED Spy and Medic talking about the new replacements they're getting.'

The BLU Spy kept a bored expression fixed on his face, hiding his interest.

It wasn't all that often that people were switched out and new ones brought in. It was even more unusual that it was two at once, as was the case with the RED team. Their Heavy's contract expired at midnight, and an unfortunate glitch in respawn had left their Sniper permanently crippled just last week. The replacements were scheduled to arrive the very next day, and the Spy was happy to get any information he could on them in advance. Pity it sounded as though the rest of the base already knew. He hated being out of the loop.

'Says that he heard them saying one's Australian,' the Engineer continued.

The Spy's eyes widened in horror for a second before he managed to make himself go back to looking bored.

'No prizes for guessing which role he'll be filling then.'

The Engineer frowned at the Spy. He'd been hoping for more of a reaction from the Frenchman.

'Yeah, and an Australian Heavy is the last thing we need! He'll probably take one look at us, throw down his damn mini gun and punch us all to death.' He shuddered at the thought. 'Imagine being spawn camped by an Australian! Doubt any of us'll ever get hold of the intelligence again, once RED's got an Ozy on their side.'

'We shall see, the Spy replied non-committally, 'We shall see.'

He didn't say it out loud, but this was very bad news indeed. Thanks to Australium, every man from Down Under he'd ever came across had probably been strong and fast enough to punch him all the way back to France. True, they weren't known for their brains, but they made up for it many times over with their inhuman brawn.

He nodded to the Engineer in way of a goodbye, and slunk out of the room. The other man stood there, looking annoyed. He'd had a lot more on the subject that he'd wanted to talk about.

Damn Spys.

The Spy reached for his cigarette case as soon as he left. He certainly needed one.

There's going to be an Australian on the RED team, an Australian!

He could only hope that their new Sniper was going to useless enough to make up for it. And that he really enjoyed getting stabbed in the back. With an Australian Heavy about, the Spy wasn't going to be bothering the Heavy-Medic combo nearly as much as he usually did.

Short intro, but later chapters should all be longer. This might end up as a selection of related one-shots rather than a continuous narrative. We shall see.