A/N: So this is after Jane's birthday party after she kills Hoyt, because no one can be that ok on the inside after such a traumatic day.
I do not own Rizzoli and Isles sadly :(
The party was over. Everyone had gone including my mother. Everyone, that is, except Maura. After finally shutting and locking the door behind Ma, I turned and looked at Maura.
"I saw your bag in my room so I assume that you're staying?" I asked nonchalantly.
"If you don't want me to, Jane-"
"No, Maura, it's ok-"
"I mean I don't want to impose. I just thought-"
I grabbed her shoulders effectively cutting off her rant. "Maura look at me," she did so, "You're my best friend. It's ok to impose and invite yourself over. I don't mind… like at all. I mean just think of all the times I've imposed on you."
"Jane! You've never imposed on me!" she gasped. I gave her a minute to make the connection and when she did she simply stated, "Oh."
I chuckled and sighed as I ran my hand over my face. "I'm sorry, Maur, but I'm just too tired to stay up talking all night. We'll have to save our talk until morning."
"That's ok, Jane. I find that I am tired as well and would like some rest."
I exhaled a laugh as I walked into my bedroom with her in tow. "Just let me change real fast and I'll sleep on the couch."
"Jane," it was her turn to laugh at me. "We have slept together in the same bed on numerous occasions. You will sleep in here."
"No, Maura, I won't," I stated flatly, not wanting to explain the why of my decision.
"Then I'm leaving. I am not going to be the cause of your not getting to sleep in your bed."
"Wait, Maura don't," she stopped and turned back to me her eyes still cold and slightly confused at my rejection. "I mean… look I just… ok look… the nightmares have been pretty bad recently, when I've been able to sleep. I just… I just don't want you to have to wake up to that."
"But Jane," she whispered looking down at her feet before looking back up at me, "that's why I'm here. I knew you would have nightmares and I wanted to help. And… I knew that I would need help too. I just thought that maybe… we could be there for each other. I thought that's what best friends do. Was I wrong?" the look in her eyes said it all. She had never had a best friend before and now she thought she had crossed some line.
"Well when you put it that way," I laughed and was glad to see her look of relief.
We both changed and crawled into bed. After lying there for a couple of minutes I felt the bed shift as she turned to face me. "I was so scared, Jane. I was so scared that I was going to lose you, and I was so angry at myself. I didn't even try to help. When Hoyt grabbed you… I just froze. I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry, Jane. "
I turned towards her and wiped the tears off her cheeks. "It's not your fault, Maura. You did nothing wrong. And I'm so glad that you didn't do anything. If you had, they probably would have killed you and I couldn't deal with that Maura. The whole time that I was laying there, I was scared for my life sure, but I was terrified for yours. He had gotten so close to doing it. The thought of losing you to that bastard, that's what pushed me into action. That's what gave me the courage to do what I've wanted to do for so long now. God, Maura, he was so close to killing you." Tears welled up at my eyes as I looked at my best friend, realizing just how close I had come to losing her. I had put her there. I had put her in harm's way.
"It's not your fault," she whispered. "It's not your fault and don't you dare blame yourself, Jane Rizzoli… He didn't win." She grabbed my fingers and placed them on the small cut on her throat. "He didn't win, Jane. I'm still here and so are you."
"He scarred you. You have his scar on you now."
"So do you, Jane." I felt her warm fingers caress the matching scar on my neck. "But these scars mean that we beat him. That we won. Can't you see that? These scars mean we fought with the devil and we won. We may have these marks, but Hoyt…. Hoyt's dead, Jane. Dead. He is gone forever. He will not be able to hurt us again. Ever again and that's because of you, Jane. I know you're blaming yourself for letting me go with you but you know what? I wouldn't have stayed at the station as you visited your admitted 'own personal boogeyman'. And you know what's more? You saved me. You saved my life. You saw that we were in danger and saved us both. Thank you, Jane, for not only saving me, but for saving my best friend. Now don't let this destroy you. Don't let his ghost beat you."
Having no words that could match that, I wrapped my arms around her, letting my silent tears of relief run down my cheeks and into her hair. "Thanks Maura," I whispered into her hair. "Thank you so much." Her hands ran soothingly over my back as she held me and allowed me to hold her until we both fell asleep.
A/N: So I'm thinking I may continue this but I'm not sure. Let me know what you think!
Lizzie