The title is from the song In Liverpool by Suzanne Vega.
I'm completely new to this fandom, so I might get facts wrong and I still have A LOT to learn bout the story-line. Hopefully you will all enjoy this story in spite of this, and I try to do as much research I can as I move along. I re-wrote this first chapter because I wasn't satisfied with it. If I get Kunikida's name wrong a couple of times, please bear with me. It almost became a running joke as I wrote this, some of the names I gave him started to sound more like Pokèmon.
In liverpool
on a sunday
No traffic
on the avenue
The light is pale and thin
like you
No sound down
in this part of town
Except for the boy in the belfry- he's crazy
he's throwing himself down from the top of the tower
like a hunchback in heaven he's ringing the bells in the church for the last half an hour
he sounds like he's missing something- or someone- that he knows he can't have no
and if he isn't
I surtainly am.
In Liverpool by Suzanne Vega
The blood was pooling out from underneath the lean body sprawled face down on the pavement of the usually busy street. During the daylight, that is. At night, however, there was hardly a soul that wanted to walk the street where this old church stood. It hovered over the Nabor houses and looked menacing in the shadows of the dim light of the street lamps along the pavement. Its grey facade was cracked from ages of neglected maintenance.
It took several hours for the body to be discovered by a by-passer on his way to work. The earliest blood had dried onto the sidewalk, staining it with its dark red color as the body was lifted into an ambulance 10 minutes later and rushed to the hospital.
Kunikida's phone at the Armed Detective Agency rung, disturbing the bespeckled man from his routine report writing.
«Doppo Kunikida,» he answered with a somewhat annoyed voice. He didn't much appreciate his routines being disturbed by anything unexpected. After a couple of seconds of listening to what was being said from the other end, he seemed to deflate, gaining some curious stares from the rest of the office.
«What's the prognosis? (...) Understand. We'll be right over,» he said, as he cut the call.
«Is something wrong?» Atsushi asked from his seat at one of the desks. Kunikida closed his eyes grimly while crossing his arms and clearing his voice to gather everyone's attention.
«Listen up. That was from the hospital. Dazai was found this morning on the sidewalk in front of the Shinja church. It looked like he suffered a fall from the belfry,» he informed the rest of the group. «That fool is in surgery right now. They don't know if he'll pull through.»
A simultaneous gasp was heard across the room.
«I'm going to the hospital now, is anyone else coming with?» he asked. The entire group got up, looking at each other with worried faces.
«Well, let's go.»
There was nothing unusual about Dazai not showing up for work on time. There was nothing unusual about him disappearing for days on end either, telling no one about his whereabouts. Sometimes he would come back fine, other times he'd show up with his arm in a sling or on crutches. What never changed, however, was him pretending like nothing ever happened, and they had stopped asking.
There was no reason Kunikida would expect this particular Monday to be any different.
In about fifteen minutes, everyone was gathered in the waiting room at the hospital. Kunukida hadn't released his arms since the phone call. He cursed his idiot partner and his obsession with death. He knew it was a matter of time before he was able to find the perfect way to go, but this wasn't the time. There was too much for them to do still.
They waited in silence. Even the president of the ADA, Fukuzawa, was there. It was no secret that Dazai was suicidal, but if everyone in the group took it seriously, was a different question. After some of the secrets of Dazai's mysterious past had been revealed, little by little, throughout the last couple of years, any doubt Kunikida had, had vanished completely. Dazai wanted to die, and this time, and this time it actually seemed like he might succeed.
After many hours of waiting, a doctor came out to meet with them. He explained with a grim expression that Dazai had slipped into a coma and that they had no idea when or if he would wake up. His injuries were severe, with several bones broken, internal bleeding and severe head trauma. That was just what Kunikida could comprehend, as the doctor used many intricate medical terms unknown to him about Dazai's lungs and heart and whatever. He had heard what he needed to hear anyway. Dazai was alive and needed to stay that way.
«Kunikida-kun?» Atsushi asked carefully, breaching the silence in the car. Kouyou and himself were seated in the back, while Kunikida was driving. Kunikida growled something inaudible back, not taking his eyes off the road.
«Do... do you think he did it on purpose?» he asked with a shaky voice.
«Of course he did, that stupid bastard,» Kunikida answered doggedly.
Atsushi's face turned into a hurt grimace and Kouyou placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
«I'm sure he'll be okay,» she tried to smile, but couldn't quite make her high-pitched voice steady enough to sound convincing.
«I hope you're right,» Atsushi mumbled, looking out the window, as the car turned onto the street of where the Shinja Church stood. The area had already been cleaned. The only reminder of what had happened the night before was the dried blood covering the sidewalk that not even the pure force of the pressure washers could flush away.
Kunikida parked his car along the cracked pavement.
«I don't expect you to come with, but I want to take a look,» he said, voice dark and sturdy as ever.
Atsushi peered out the window, only now discovering the faded spot a couple of feet from them. His instant reaction was to gasp and he shakes his head furiously, but Kouyou was already out the door. Hesitantly, Atsushi followed.
Hands in pocket, Kunikida investigated the area, while Kouyou looked around the run-down church. Atsushi kept in the background, nervously crossing his arms and hoping they would be done soon.
After a short while, they seemed to be done. There wasn't much to be found anyway, as the police had already cleaned up any sign (that they could) from the failed suicide attempt.
In spite of the narrow margins, Dazai woke up five days later. The hospital once again called the ADA, requesting them to come immediately. Everyone had been worried sick about the state of the office's biggest annoyance's health and arrived at the hospital shortly after the call, where the same doctor as before greeted them.
He explained, clearly with a touch of «this is every day for me», about Dazai's current condition.
His back was broken, and his left leg and several ribs. He had a cracked skull and several lacerations on his body. The doctor made a backhand comment about nasty and badly treated old scars as well, which Kunikida had to admit that he did not entirely understand. Lastly, he informed them that Dazai was on suicide watch, which Kunikida knew his partner was very much accustomed to.
After his report, he let them know that they could finally see the brown-haired man, but only two at the time at most, as Dazai needed to rest. The natural order of things was for Kunikida and Atsushi to go in first.
As they entered the room, it struck Kunikida how bad the situation seemed to be. A heart monitor was beeping steadily, and Dazai's lean form was lying limply in the hospital bed, surrounded by wires and machines to make sure he wouldn't, in spite his best efforts, die. His body was even more mummified with bandages than it usually was, covering his head and arms, which were the only parts not covered by the light blanket, except for his leg that was raised on a rack with screws sticking out from the bandages after surgery to try and repair the damages. The doctor had told Kunikida that there was no assurance that it would ever regain full functionality, because of the severity of the injury. The best-case-scenario was that he would walk with a limp throughout his life.
«How are you feeling?» Atsushi asked, hurrying to Dazai's bedside.
«I'm good,» Dazai answered, revealing his usual smile, unaffected by any type of severity of the situation.
«I thought you were done with jumping off buildings after the last time, tho, a church sounds a bit more poetic than a shopping mall,» Kunikida said flatly.
«Huh?» Atsushi asked, clearly not aware of the details of Dazai's many previous suicide attempts.
«You broke nearly every bone in your body, not much unlike now,» Kanukoda added.
«Oh, yeah,» Dazai reminisced. «That wasn't any fun. There are definitely better and more creative ways to end your life,» Dazai answered, trying to conceal the pain in his hoarse voice.
«You have to stop doing this shit. You almost made it this time.»
«Yeah, too bad,» Dazai frowned. «...Except, I didn't jump.»
«Jumped, leaped, whatever,» Kanukoda mumbled, crossing his arms angrily.
«No,» Dazai's voice was nearly more than a whisper.
«I didn't jump.»
This time, it was Kunikida's turn to be be surprised. Not for a moment, had anyone expected this to be more than another failed suicide attempt. Almost unknowingly, Kunikida took out his notebook, ready to write down any details Dazai could reveal.
«What happened?» he asked, dragging one of the chairs that were placed against the wall to Dazai's bedside. Atsushi followed his lead, sitting back-to-front on the chair and resting his arms on the back.
«I didn't jump off. I got a letter, telling me to meet someone at the top of the bell tower. So I did, I was curious.» he explained in his plain voice as if he was telling them what he had for dinner the day before.
«Who?» Kanukoda asked while scribbling notes in his book.
«No idea. I got there, waited, and the next thing I knew, something whacked me over the head, and I fell,» his shoulders shrugged. «Then I woke up in here.»
«Who would do such a thing to you?» Atsushi asked with concern in his voice.
«Who wouldn't?» Kunikida and Dazai replied simultaneously.
Kunikida scowled at Danai, as Dazai revealed an amused smile.
«I have a lot of enemies,» he explained with a sheepish grin, not at all affected by the situation. This was no surprise to Kunikida, but Atsushi seemed more bothered.
«You could have died, Dazai-kun!»
«Yeah,» Dazai pouted with a sigh, staring dreamily at the roof.
«What the hell happened?» Kunikida raised his voice angrily, hitting his fist onto Dazai's bed.
Dazai flinched at the movement of the bed but tried not to show it. He knew that Kunikida or anyone else in the agency would never understand his need to die. If they only knew about his inability to feel any kind of real emotion truly, maybe they would.
His zest for life had been beaten out of him many years ago. The mafia had turned him into a human weapon. Unfeeling and indifferent. Actually, he was much more intrigued by death than life. His heart was so empty and hollow, no matter how much he tried to fill it with anything, love or pain, it seemed to be eaten up by the darkness of his past. That was the main reason he left the mafia and joined the ADA in the first place. The hope of feeling something real again.
That, and of course Oda.
The pain from his injuries didn't matter. He was sure he had felt much worse before. He didn't like pain, but also, he really didn't care. At this point, his body and soul were completely numb. All he wanted to do was protect the once close to him and make sure that they couldn't be hurt like him. His friends from the agency, as well as some of the people from the mafia. Many of them had even hurt him in the past. He was sure they had their reasons. He was just too lazy to remember them.
Also, whatever the reason that particular person fromthe belfry had to push him off the tower, didn't matter. Any kind of reasoning, he was sure was justified.
He was a monster, after all.