Syrup Drunken Kisses by Martial Arts Master The Simpsons and all related characters are copyrighted by Fox, Gracie Films, and Matt Groening.
***
It was a Saturday, and Bart Simpson was having fun in town. He went in to the Kwik-E-Mart and walked up to Apu.
"What can I do for you?" Apu asked.
"Give me another all-syrup Squishee," Bart replied.
Apu was surprised. "But you got the sugar equivalant of drunk the last time I made one for you," he said.
"Yeah, but it resulted in me signing up for the Boy Scouts, and I actually had a pretty good time in there," Bart said.
Apu sighed, then made an all-syrup Squishee for Bart.
"I'm warning you, you might regret drinking this," he said warningly.
"Yeah right. Bye Apu!" Bart said as he walked out of the store with the Squishee. He then drank it. Immediately he felt kinda weird. He had a dim sensation of himself, like he was abstract. He had a vague feeling of walking, followed soon afterwards---or was it that soon? Bart had lost awareness of time and pretty much everything---anyway, followed soon afterwards by a vague sensation of disco music. He thought he was dancing, he couldn't really tell, and he didn't really care. He was high on sugar. He couldn't really make out that much of what he was doing, except he soon felt something wet on his lips. Twice. He then thought he was lying down on---grass, was it? Then, abruptly, clarity returned. He woke up and found that he was sitting on the grass outside a disco building. Sherri and Terri were beside him, giggling and winking at him.
"What the hell is going on?" Bart asked them.
Sherri looked confused. "You mean you don't KNOW?" she asked incredulously.
"That's right, I don't," Bart replied.
Terri giggled some more and said, "Are you SURE about that? You SEEMED to know what you were doing!"
Bart was getting mad now. "No I did not know what I was doing! I was drunk on an all-syrup Squishee!" he exclaimed.
The two girls looked disappointed.
"Oh, now what's wrong?" Bart asked, exasperated.
"Well you see, you invited us to a disco dance, and you sure danced well," Sherri said.
"And then you took us outside and kissed both of us passionately!" Terri said. "We were kinda disappointed when we found out just now you didn't know what you were doing."
Bart didn't comprehend this at first. He said, "Let me get this straight. While I was drunk, I took you girls out on a DATE, and then I came back out here and KISSED you?!" he shouted.
"Yeah." both girls said.
Bart looked up to the sky and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The End
***
E-mail all questions and comments to bleifer@msn.com.
***
It was a Saturday, and Bart Simpson was having fun in town. He went in to the Kwik-E-Mart and walked up to Apu.
"What can I do for you?" Apu asked.
"Give me another all-syrup Squishee," Bart replied.
Apu was surprised. "But you got the sugar equivalant of drunk the last time I made one for you," he said.
"Yeah, but it resulted in me signing up for the Boy Scouts, and I actually had a pretty good time in there," Bart said.
Apu sighed, then made an all-syrup Squishee for Bart.
"I'm warning you, you might regret drinking this," he said warningly.
"Yeah right. Bye Apu!" Bart said as he walked out of the store with the Squishee. He then drank it. Immediately he felt kinda weird. He had a dim sensation of himself, like he was abstract. He had a vague feeling of walking, followed soon afterwards---or was it that soon? Bart had lost awareness of time and pretty much everything---anyway, followed soon afterwards by a vague sensation of disco music. He thought he was dancing, he couldn't really tell, and he didn't really care. He was high on sugar. He couldn't really make out that much of what he was doing, except he soon felt something wet on his lips. Twice. He then thought he was lying down on---grass, was it? Then, abruptly, clarity returned. He woke up and found that he was sitting on the grass outside a disco building. Sherri and Terri were beside him, giggling and winking at him.
"What the hell is going on?" Bart asked them.
Sherri looked confused. "You mean you don't KNOW?" she asked incredulously.
"That's right, I don't," Bart replied.
Terri giggled some more and said, "Are you SURE about that? You SEEMED to know what you were doing!"
Bart was getting mad now. "No I did not know what I was doing! I was drunk on an all-syrup Squishee!" he exclaimed.
The two girls looked disappointed.
"Oh, now what's wrong?" Bart asked, exasperated.
"Well you see, you invited us to a disco dance, and you sure danced well," Sherri said.
"And then you took us outside and kissed both of us passionately!" Terri said. "We were kinda disappointed when we found out just now you didn't know what you were doing."
Bart didn't comprehend this at first. He said, "Let me get this straight. While I was drunk, I took you girls out on a DATE, and then I came back out here and KISSED you?!" he shouted.
"Yeah." both girls said.
Bart looked up to the sky and screamed, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
The End
***
E-mail all questions and comments to bleifer@msn.com.