AN: New AN for the new, edited and hopefully improved edition of HHE. Be warned this story contains serious Sue-bashing. If Sue-violence or Sue-prejudice in any form is liable to upset you then….

You should probably read this story!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sky High or any of the characters from that movie. All original characters even, shudder, the Mary-Sues are mine. Don't be offended if a Mary-Sue resembles your character in any fashion, I'm not attempting to target anyone.

Chapter 1. In which one very admired pyro disappears…

Warren was frustrated. His best friend, Will Stronghold could always tell when the pyro was about to explode. Maybe it had something to do with the smoke coming from his hands, but the major clue that tipped Will off was the fact that a clearly imprinted lipstick kiss had taken up residence on his cheek. Several girls at different tables looked up, envy burning in their eyes as they saw the mark.

Warren sat down beside Will. Layla and the others had not yet joined them at their usual table. The calculating look in the taller boy's eyes was freaking Will out. But before Will could say as much, Warren launched into a speech. Stronghold noticed that several girls around them leaned closer to hear what the handsome pyro was saying.

"I'm so sick of this Stronghold. If this happens one more time…" the table top where Warren's hand was resting was suddenly scorched.

Will gulped, "What happened?"

"What happened?" the pyro asked, eyes boring a hole through the super powered boy, "Your sister, or cousin, or whoever that girl is attacked me…she was getting groped by Lash as usual and I just happened to be walking in the same hall."

"So you stopped him?"

"Yeah I stopped him…you know I'm sick of him and Speed turning up almost every year…how does that work? They were just magically given mercy by a jury of dimwits? Anyway, I stopped him and next thing you know your cousin, or sister or whoever that girl is, jumps on me and plants a huge kiss on my cheek!" he pointed indignantly to the affected area.

"Yeah I can see that," Will said, trying not to laugh, "But I wouldn't worry…you should know that I don't have a sister, or a cousin, or a random girl living with me."

Warren rubbed his cheek, succeeding only in smearing the red mess, "This sucks," he said conclusively, throwing an arm up in despair. The result was a fireball narrowly missing one of his avid listeners. The pyro pushed his hair out of his face, revealing brooding features for all to see. His brown eyes went back to his friend, who was staring at him intently, "What?" he asked.

"Well maybe if you weren't so…so…likeable the girls would leave you alone."

"Likeable? I'm an anger-driven pyro with a reclusive, anti-social nature, how is that likeable?" Three girls sitting at the table to their left swooned and knocked heads. Warren just watched them with aggravation.

"Look Warren you pretty much exude sexy bad boy and your looks are not too shabby either."

A horrified look crossed the pyro's face, "You're not going slash on me are you Stronghold?" Warren scooted away.

"No," said Stronghold taking a bite of his sandwich. A piece of lettuce hung out of his mouth as he spoke, "I'm just telling you what's so obvious to everyone else."

They were suddenly interrupted by a pair of well-shaped legs. Both boys' eyes followed the legs up to a hideously short mini-skirt and then a spaghetti-strapped tank top. Finally they reached the face. She could have been any model on the runway at a fashion show. Her face was perfect…if a bit pale and was framed by gorgeous blonde locks. Warren knew that this Sue was so powerful any story she appeared in was immediately forced to have at least a four sentence description of her physical attributes.

"Warren," she cooed with her perfect voice, unusual light blue eyes flashing behind fashionable framed glasses.

The pyro tried to ignore her but ended up glaring instead. His right hand was already flaming up, "What do you want?"

"I just want to help you Warren…we're the perfect match you and I. Remember when we danced at homecoming last year?"

"Help me?" Warren asked with a taut smile, Will scooted further away from the pyro.

"Mmhmm," she said with a sobering look, "I know about your struggles, the way you try to hide the hurt. Your father's imprisonment…"

Will covered his ears and dove under the table, "WHEN WILL YOU ALL JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" the pyro shouted sending to fireballs flying into the ice queen.

She reacted quick enough to form a shield around her body but the blast knocked her head over heels into another table. A couple Goth girls nearby shouted encouragement to the pyro.

"I MEAN ALL OF YOU!" he shouted at them sending a few more flames at their table.

Will emerged from under the table with his sandwich in hand. He wondered vaguely why his girlfriend and the others hadn't yet arrived. In a moment his questions were answered as they all appeared and took their seats around the still-standing, disgruntled Warren Peace. Will wondered why he didn't just sit down, now even more girls were ogling his well-built frame and handsome features. The pyro glanced over at his best friend, the smeared lipstick on his cheek making him look ridiculous.

"Warren, I think you might have something on your cheek man," Zach said simply, giving his full attention to the plate of spaghetti before him.

The pyro shook with self-righteous rage, but surprisingly enough no flames came forth. Instead Warren began laughing, somewhat maniacally as he glanced back and forth between his different admirers. Suddenly he turned to Will a crazy gleam in his eye, he put both hands down upon their table and looked each person in the eye…except for Zach who was currently enraptured with a meatball.

"I was blessed to live a year among such admirable and excellent friends, I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you, half as well as you deserve."

Will looked confused while a nerdy girl stood up two tables down and shouted in ecstasy, "I knew he liked LOTR!"

Warren glared at her until she sat down and then he rose to his full height, bellowing out so all could hear, "I'm leaving now, I bid you all a very fond farewell, goodbye!" and with that the pyro ran out of the cafeteria as quickly as he could.

"Should we go after him?" asked Layla concerned for the pyro's sanity.

"No, he'll be fine," Will said, only half-believing it.

A girl with long black hair, dressed only in red and black sat down at the table. The look on her face was quite hostile, "I won't move!" she said glaring at the empty space between Ethan and Magenta.

"Uh ok," said Magenta, "What is this? Some blind wannabe vampire?"

Fangs extended the girl nodded, "I won't move!"

"She must think Warren's still sitting here," Ethan said, "You know the whole 'my table' fight that happens every couple of days?"

Everyone oh'd in comprehension, then began to laugh quietly.