Lily tried not to look at James too much over lunch. She'd been good friends with him ever since starting at Hogwarts, but Lily had long since realised that she liked him more than that.
She glanced briefly at him and, finding him to be looking in her direction too, smiled quickly and turned away.
He was certainly attractive, tall, with wild black hair, blue eyes and a cheeky grin, but that wasn't why she wanted him so much. She was in love with his personality. He was extremely intelligent, quick and witty, funny and kind, a loyal friend, charming and caring.
"Oh hey," said Sirius suddenly, interrupting her thoughts. "We're going to be late, we'd better go."
He stood up and picked up his bag. Remus, James and Lily followed suit and the four of them left the great hall.
They walked down the corridors together, laughing and joking.
"Oh, damn it!" Sirius exclaimed. "I've lost my wand again!" and he ran off, presumably to search for the elusive wand.
"I've got transfiguration," said Remus, turning into a classroom. "Seeya later."
"Bye!" said James, and he and Lily continued walking.
"Er…Lily? You've got transfiguration too!" Remus called from behind them.
"Oh, yeah, of course I have," she muttered, turning pink.
"Seeya," she said to James, who flashed her his rakish grin.
"Bye Lily."
She turned and, thoroughly embarrassed, joined Remus in the transfiguration classroom.
*
"Sorry Professor," said Sirius as he hurried into defence against the dark arts ten minutes late. "I left my wand, I couldn't find it anywhere…"
"That's alright Black," said their teacher. "Sit down and we'll begin."
He sat down by James at the back of the classroom.
"Hi Lily," James said vaguely, without looking up.
"Sirius," said Sirius, amused. "I'm SIRIUS, remember? Can't you get your mind off Lily for one minute?"
"Of course, hi Sirius," said James, finally deciding to look up. Yes, of course I can get my mind off her! She's so lovely! She's really beautiful!"
Sirius, having heard about how lovely, beautiful, amazing and generally wonderful Lily was at least six hundred million times, wasn't listening, but James, if he had even noticed, certainly did not care.
"That's not why I like her though," he said to himself. "I mean, I like that she's beautiful, but, she's so much more, she's really nice, funny, and kind, and generous and patient…"
He continued in this vein for some time.
"Oh, shut UP!" said Sirius, eventually tiring of his friend's incessant rambling.
"I know how great she is! You tell me every single day! If you love her so much, go and tell HER!"
"I can't!" said James. "I'm too……shy," he added, turning slightly pink.
"You? Shy?" Sirius laughed loudly, earning himself a stern look from the teacher.
"Shy?" he repeated, more quietly. "You have to be the least shy person I know!"
He considered this for a minute.
"Apart from me," he concluded.
James laughed.
"Yeah, I know, I'm not usually, it's just Lily. She makes me crazy! It's the way she…"
"Shut it."
"Oh, no but Sirius, she's…"
"Shut it Potter."
"She always…"
"Shut it."
*
That evening before dinner, they were sitting by the fire in the common room. Lily and James sat on the sofa while Remus and Sirius played chess on the floor. Remus would win, he always won chess.
James was reading a book that Lily, who sat staring out of the window at the falling snow, was sure was not on the list of required books.
"What are you reading?" she asked him.
"Oh, it's…."
He held up the book to show her it's cloth bound front.
"The art of invisibility? But you don't need that, surely, having that cloak of yours!"
"Oh, yeah I know, but it would be easier if we didn't need it. I mean cloak's great when you're on your own, but they're usually under it too," he waved a hand in Sirius and Remus' direction, "and it's difficult to all keep covered. And to not fall over! So I'm trying to find a suitable spell…"
"Cool. When you've done it, can you teach me? I'd love to be invisible!"
"Yeah, of course, that's be cool. But, well, I haven't found anything workable yet. There's about a thousand different ways to do it, but as of yet, none that we'd be able to do."
"Oh, well, when you find something, let me know! "We'd better go to dinner," she added, looking around the common room and noticing that almost everyone else had already left.
"Mmm, OK." James snapped the book shut and stuffed it down the side of the chair.
"It's from the restricted section," he explained. "I used the cloak to get it."
He stood up and walked toward the portrait hole. Lily stood up too, and attempted to follow him, but tripped over Remus and found herself sprawled on the floor. She heard the others laughing.
"Hey," she protested. "Not funny!" She sat up and laughed too.
She looked up to see James, smiling and holding out a hand to help her up.
She took it and got to her feet, wishing that he would not let go. And for a moment, he did not.
They stood, hand in hand, face to face. Then she let go of his hand, and he turned red and left the common room swiftly.
Lily felt herself blush. Sighing, she climbed through the portrait hole too, followed closely by a smirking Sirius and an amused Remus.
*
"Now," said Dumbledore, standing up. "I know you are all eager to tuck in, but before that, I have a short announcement. There will, as usual, be a Yule Ball this Christmas. It will be on Christmas eve, for all those who do not go home, from eight o'clock onwards. If you wear robes, they must be, of course, dress, but we have decided that this year you may also wear smart muggle clothing.
Now, food!"
The golden plates filled themselves instantly. James ate slowly, his mind, unsurprisingly, on Lily. He was staying here for Christmas, as he always did, and he knew she would be too. Maybe he would ask her to the ball.
But she might say no. Then what? What if she wanted to go with someone else?
But he could not stop himself imagining dancing with her, holding her close…
"Oy! Know what YOU'RE thinking!" Sirius said quietly. "Ask her!"
James looked at him.
"What if she said no?"
"What if she said yes?"
"Do you think she would?"
"I don't know. But I know how to find out…"
"How?"
Sirius looked exasperated.
"ASK HER!"
*
Lily lay on her front by the fire, struggling over her potions homework. It was very late, and the rest of Gryffindor had gone to bed but she, Remus, James and Sirius were, as usual, still up.
"Damn it I hate potions!" Remus said suddenly.
"Don't we all," Lily said. "This is so difficult!"
James, also doing potions, leaned over to look at her parchment.
"No, the only thing you need is…..there. Three ounces of crushed nightshade, not two. Oh, and you forgot to write down a beetle eye."
"Oh, so I did!" she said, correcting her work. "Cheers James."
Sirius was lying on his back on a table, reading the book on invisibility. All at once, he sat up and a bottle of ink crashed to the floor.
"Look, James, here's one we could do!" he yelled excitedly, waving his wand at the broken bottle which put itself back together again.
"Really? Cool!" said James, hurrying over.
Lily, having finished her homework, stared distractedly into the flames.
"Who are you taking to the ball?" she asked Remus.
"Oh, I don't know. I know who you'd like to take you though!" he said, smiling at her.
"Yeah, well," she said flatly, glancing at the table where James was happily discussing some ridiculously advanced magic.
"He's not going to ask me is he? Probably already asked someone else. Someone prettier than me, or clever, like he is." She sighed resignedly. "He wouldn't want me."
"Oh, I wouldn't say that…"
"What?"
"Oh, er, nothing," Remus said, biting his quill and doing his best to look innocent whilst grinning.
"No, what? Remus, what do you mean? Do you think…."
But Remus stood up.
"I'm going to the kitchens," he announced. "Can I borrow your cloak James?"
"Yeah, of course, hold on, let me just…ACCIO BAG!"
He summoned his bag from across the room, and searched around in it.
"Anyone want anything while I'm there?" Remus asked.
"Yeah, pumpkin juice, please," Lily said, frowning. "Remus, what…"
"CAKE!" Sirius shouted "CAKE! I love CAKE!"
"Er…OK then," said Remus, doubtful of his friend's sanity.
"Cheers James," he said, taking the invisibility cloak from James. "Want anything?"
"Yeah, alright. Whatever."
"OK. Seeya soon!"
Remus grinned broadly and disappeared under the cloak, leaving Lily wondering what he had meant.
The portrait hole swung open, and slammed shut again.
*
The next day was a Saturday. It was a Hogsmeade day, and almost everyone was in the village as it was their last chance for Christmas shopping.
It was also the full moon.
After they had done all their shopping, they all sat in the Three Broomsticks drinking butterbeer to warm themselves up.
Remus, although not noticeably unhappy, was understandably preoccupied.
"Don't fret," James said. "None of us can say anything to help, I know that but…well, you know. We're always here for you."
Remus smiled, his tired eyes happy.
"I know. Thanks. I don't know what I'd do if…" He trailed off, no longer smiling.
"I'm so worried though. It'll hurt, I know, it's awful, and even worse, what if I hurt someone else?"
"You won't though!" said Sirius, trying, but probably failing, to reassure his friend. "You haven't before, have you?"
"Yeah, but, there's always a first…James, where you going?"
James had stood up and was heading toward the door.
"Oh, I've just got a couple of things…I forgot to get some stuff," he called over to them. "Wait for me. I'll be back here in ten, then we'll go home, alright?"
"Yeah, sure," said Lily.
"But what…"
James had already gone
*
"Sirius. Sirius, I'm going to ask her to the ball!"
"Are you really? Good for you! When are you going to ask her?"
"I don't know, tonight. When I get the chance."
It was late Saturday afternoon. James and Sirius were in the common room. Lily was still in Hogsmeade, as were all the students except them and Remus.
"Well, I'll clear off later tonight. Everyone will go to bed before us anyway, they always do. I'll leave you to carpé the diem! Hey, good luck!"
"Thanks mate."
"Alright. Where's Lupin? It'll be dark soon, he should be leaving."
Right on cue, Remus entered the common room.
"Hey. Just came to say, you know, bye. Seeya in a few days."
Although he was only in lupine form during the nights of the full moon, Remus stayed in the shrieking shack for the whole three days, sleeping during the daytime, as he could not at night. He always came back exhausted.
"Hey, Lupin, he's finally going to ask out Lily!"
Remus grinned.
"Go for it! Look, I've really gotta go..."
"Oh, hey, hang on a second," said James.
He sprinted up the stairs which led to their dormitory and emerged a few seconds later with a small bag.
"I got you this," he said. "They're a new invention. It's enchanted, it should stop it hurting when you, you know, change."
He handed Remus a perfectly black ribbon, which appeared a blinding white under some lights. lupine
"It'll stop the pain?" Remus asked. "Honestly? Wow! Thanks so much! How do I…"
"Tie it round your arm."
"Thanks James. I've really gotta go, it's almost dark…"
"Yeah. Seeya."
Remus turned and prepared to leave.
"Hey, Lupin," Sirius said. "We'll get that animagus thing soon, I swear. Then we can….well, be animals. Yey," he said drily.
Remus laughed, and so did James.
Soon Sirius was in hysterics too, and fell off the table he was sitting on, only serving to make James laugh harder.
Remus raised an eyebrow in the way only he could, and left them, unable to stop laughing and not entirely sure what was funny.
*
"Lily, I really, really like you," James said as he paced the common room, transferring the art of invisibility from hand to hand and back again.
"Damn it that sounds STUPID!" he bellowed, throwing the book across the room.
"ACCIO BOOK!" he yelled and it came soaring back across the room into his hand.
It was about midnight. James was in the common room, waiting for Lily, who he had not seen since dinner. He was rehearsing what he was going to say to her, but before her had come up with anything not stupid, his true love herself came in.
"Hi James," she said. "You alright? You look…weird."
"Yeah, I'm fine. Lily, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, course. What is it?"
"Er…I, um…would you…um…"
Lily laughed.
"Well, I've never witnessed you lost for words before!" she said.
James did not laugh. Instead, he mumbled incoherently.
"Huh?"
"Er…are you going to the ball with anyone?"
She had to be, he reasoned.
I mean, who wouldn't want to go with her? I bet a million guys have already asked her. And I bet they're not skinny like I am, and I bet their hair's all neat…
"No, I'm not. Are…are you?"
"Oh, no, I…will you go with me? You don't have to, it's…"
"You're so silly!" Lily said, smiling. "Yes. Yeah, of course I'll go with you!"
"You…you will? Really?"
"Yup!"
"Oh, yey!" was all he could manage to say.
On a sudden impulse, he put his arms around her. She seemed surprised, but didn't seem to mind. He resisted, with monumental effort, the temptation to kiss her, to stroke her hair, to touch her cheek.
He pulled away, burning red.
"Er…yeah, bye," he muttered, and rushed off upstairs, leaving Lily standing, still feeling his strong arms around her, grinning like a maniac.
"So?" Sirius asked when James practically flew into the dormitory and threw himself on to his bed.
"Like I have to ask," he added to himself as James said nothing and he noticed his vacant expression and elated smile.
*
"Hiya Remus!"
"Yo, Remus! Did that thing, you know, help at all?"
"Yeah, actually, it was great! Didn't feel a thing! How much was it? I'll pay you back – well, I might, by the time I'm about fifty…"
"Oh, that's alright. It's a present. Happy birthday!"
Remus frowned.
"Are you sure? I mean, it must have cost you loads…"
"No, it was nothing at all. Really, it's OK," said James, grinning at them before he turned and walked away.
"What thing did he give you?" Lily asked.
"Oh, look, it's this…"
He pulled the multi-faceted ribbon from his pocket.
"It's enchanted. New invention. He got me it to stop my transformations hurting so much. I so owe him one!"
"He's so generous isn't he?" Lily said. And kind. That's just like him…"
Remus grinned.
"Did he ask you out or what?"
"Yeah, how did you know? You knew he…you knew damn it! Why didn't you say something?"
She pushed him playfully.
"Didn't want to spoil the surprise!"
He sighed.
"What happened to those kids who went to dances in a group and laughed at all the people trying to dance?"
Lily smiled.
They grew up,
she thought, smiling to herself.*
They day of the ball, and Lily was trying to decide what to wear. She wanted to look nice, but not look like she'd tried too hard.
Oh for goodness' sake, Lily,
she berated herself. What are you doing? You've never cared about how you look before!"James, the things you make me do!" she muttered under her breath.
I thought you knew better than caring about clothes! s
he told herself, and decided that James wouldn't care what she wore. And if he did, well, that was his problem.She settled quickly on a purple dress, knee length with long sleeves. She told herself repeatedly to be more sensible, but she couldn't help hoping that James would like it.
*
"Sirius, help me, what am I going to wear tonight?"
Sirius choked on his juice while Remus stared in disbelief.
"You have got to be JOKING!" he said. "Since when have you cared what the hell you look like?"
James turned slightly pink, a thing which he had been doing quite frequently lately.
"Well, yeah, I don't care except, well, I want to look good for…"
"LILY!" Remus and Sirius finished together, causing Lily to look up at them from the other end of the long table. She smiled at James, who smiled back, and turned back to her discussion. Sirius had to shake James out of his fantasies before they could get anything passing as intelligible conversation out of him again.
"James," said Remus seriously. "Do you really think it matters at all to her what you wear? Honestly, she couldn't care less. I doubt she'd even notice if you went without any…."
"OK!" said Sirius loudly. "How about we don't go there!"
"D'you reckon?" said James, ignoring Sirius, and the part about no clothes. "Cool. Jeans and a shirt it is!" and at once, he fell back into his usual daydreaming.
*
Mirror mirror on the wall.
Lily surveyed herself in the full length mirror one last time. She actually looked OK, she thought.
Taking a deep breath and straightening her already straight dress, she abandoned the mirror and headed downstairs to the common room.
*
"Lily, you look…gorgeous," James said.
She really did look wonderful. Not, in James' opinion, that she didn't always.
"Thankyou. You look, well, kind of like you usually do," she said, smiling. Hardly a bad thing, she added, just to herself.
"Oh, dear. Should I have worn something better?" he asked, ashamed of his average appearance.
"No! No, I love you just like you are! I mean…damn it, you know what I mean. Anyway…yeah."
"Lily, before we go…I got you something. It's like, a Christmas present I suppose. I want to give it to you tonight instead of tomorrow. I got it last week in Hogsmeade."
He took her hand and pressed a tiny box into it. Opening the box, she saw a narrow purple ribbon. On the end of it was a tiny crystal globe, containing a tiny blue flame.
She gasped.
"James, it's beautiful, you shouldn't have…I mean, you didn't have to…"
"Do you like it?"
"I adore it! It's…I've never seen anything like it!"
He smiled shyly.
"I thought, maybe you would wear it, tonight, for the ball."
"Yes, I will. Will you…"
She handed him the ribbon and he tied it around her neck. He was so close, and she wanted to put her arms round him and pull him closer. She wanted him to kiss her.
He stepped back.
"It looks nice," he commented. "Shall we go?"
He took her hand, and she smiled happily as they walked out of the common room.
*
They entered the great hall and James, ever the gentleman, went to get drinks for them both. Lily looked round, curious to see who Remus and Sirius were with.
What happened to the kids who went to dances in a group and laughed at everyone, Remus had wondered.
Nothing, it appeared, had happened to them.
Well, two of them anyway, Lily thought wryly as she spotted him and Sirius, sitting on the stage and drinking juice, laughing, undoubtedly about something truly unfunny. She laughed too as Sirius pushed Remus, who fell off the stage and stood up, covered in pumpkin juice and laughing hysterically. Come to think of it, they both seemed to be laughing a little too much.
That thought was forgotten as James returned, with two goblets of mulled wine.
"Happy Christmas!" he said, grinning.
"Happy Christmas!"
They sat down and talked, listening to the music. Lily was not particularly surprised when James absent-mindedly took her hand in both of his; it just seemed natural.
"Do you want to dance?" he asked.
"Well, if you don't mind me being…well, the world champion at…not being able to dance," she said.
"Oh, no, I don't care, I'm not exactly….someone who can dance…"
So they got up and joined the other couples dancing.
And it was true, they were both horrific dancers. To be honest, Lily didn't much like dancing. She loved having James so near, but after about the fourth time she'd fallen over, she decided to be honest.
"James, I….don't like dancing."
He looked incredibly relieved.
"Oh cool. I don't like it either!"
They both laughed.
"Let's give up and sit down," she said. So they headed toward the stage where their friends sat. They didn't seem quite normal, Lily noted. James put his arm around her waist.
"Hey, James!" Remus yelled as they approached. "What do you get if…when…" he turned to Sirius. "What was it, James? Oh hey, no, hold it. If that's James, and THAT's James, one of you is not really Remus. No, hold it, I'M Remus. So who are you James?"
"No idea!" said Sirius, and both of them, to Lily and James' bemusement, collapsed laughing.
"What did you do to the drinks?" James asked, eyeing Sirius' goblet suspiciously.
"Yeah, what did we do to the drinks, Sirius?" Sirius said accusingly.
"Oh dear," said James to Lily, evidently trying not to laugh. IDIOTS!"
He tried again.
"Sirius," he started.
"Sirius? Not Sirius, me. No, that's Sirius. Right nasty bloke he is," he said hitting Remus.
Lily could not help laughing loudly, and soon James was too.
"I don't care who you are," he said loudly as he struggled to control himself. "What did you do?"
"Powder," said Sirius. "Powder. Now don't you dare insult my friends again!"
"Plot and treason, oh gunpowder!" Remus said in a sing song voice.
"Shut up Remus!"
"Remus? I'm Remus. Remus Lupin at your service, m'lady!"
"Oh shut UP!" said James. "Sirius, what powder, what…"
Suddenly it hit him.
"Intoxipowder! Oh, no. Sirius, you didn't! How much," he said, trying to frown while laughing.
"What idiots! Spiked the juice then drank the stuff themselves!"
"What's intoxipowder?" Lily asked, although she had the feeling that maybe she didn't want to know.
"It's, well, it has the same effects as alcohol," he said. "Except," he added, laughing, "it takes much longer to wear off. They'll be like this for at least ten hours. And they'll have more than just a headache when it finally does wear off! They'll probably lose their memories!" He laughed even more, but stopped at Lily's concerned expression.
"It's alright," he said, "only temporarily." He looked around. Nobody else seemed to be acting any different from normal, although a few people were giving Remus and Sirius strange looks.
"It doesn't look like anyone else's had enough to take effect," he said.
"YET!"
"Oh no. Sirius, what was it in? The juice?"
"JUICE! HA HA HA! JUICE!"
"NO!" said Remus suddenly. "Drink not the juice, ma'am! Evil things reside within that juice! Things that wouldst chill thee to the bone, if only thou didst know! Take solace in thine ignorance, lords and ladies…"
"Oh would you just SHUT UP!" James shouted at him, and he started mumbling to himself about the terrible sins of eating biscuits, staring malevolently at James all the while.
"Quick, it's in the juice. What do we do?"
"Stay here," said Lily, and rushed over to the long table at the back of the hall. James watched as she deliberately knocked over a huge jug of pumpkin juice. A few people turned to look at her. She mumbled something, got out her wand and fixed the jug, placing it back on the table empty. She repeated this process with the other jugs of juice then came hurrying back.
"Problem solved!" she said, smiling.
"Nice one. Unless…" He turned to Sirius and Remus.
"You didn't put it in there in the kitchen did you?"
" 'Course not!" said Remus scornfully. "House elves can smell it can't they? Nice necklace," he said to Lily. What, you been robbing Gringott's again? I always told you, just cause you LOOK like a goblin, does NOT mean they'll think you ARE one! Not get stuck in a vault then? Anyway, I'm off to ride a unicorn."
"What are you ON about?" Sirius asked him vaguely, getting out his wand. Lily grabbed it straight away.
"Oh, I think we'd better have this," she said. "No telling what you might do to yourself. Or someone else. Come on, Remus, give me your wand."
"Of course, here. Happy, er……what day is it? Oh, hey, look, a party! Is it someone's birthday? It might be mine, actually, I've never been quite sure…"
"Give me the WAND Remus!"
"Alright, alright," he said sullenly. "Here. Take it. I don't want it anyway, stupid thing. Doesn't work does it? Needs new batteries maybe…"
"I'm going for a walk!" Sirius announced.
"You do that!" said James.
"Fare thee well, fair lady!" Sirius replied.
Lily laughed.
"Get lost Sirius. Go on, go away. Talk to us when you're sober!"
"I, however," said Remus, "am perfunctorily sober!"
"Yeah, great," said James. "Shame we don't know what that means, isn't it?"
"Come on, James," said Remus resentfully to Sirius. "Let's go. Let's join this party. It's my birthday. Did you know, I'm five hundred today!"
"Are you really?" said Sirius, interested, as they walked away, leaving Lily and James alone once more.
"Shouldn't we….do something?" Lily asked.
"Nah. Nothing we can do. It'll wear off. Eventually. And they won't half be embarrassed. That's when they remember…"
He sat down on the stage, laughing. Lily sat by him and he put his arm around her.
"Sorry," he said, smiling wryly. "Not exactly a perfect date, is it?"
"Well, it's been amusing," she said. "And it can only get better. Anyway, I'm with you aren't I? So it's great. Everything's just….perfect."
She smiled up at him, and he smiled back, looking as cheeky as he ever did.
"Lily,"
"What?"
"Never mind. Lily, I can't believe I, I mean, I didn't think you'd say yes, and all this time, I've been thinking…feeling…"
"I know," she said, looking up into his eyes. "I feel it…. I feel the same."
Suddenly he kissed her passionately. She closed her eyes, and put her arms around his neck.
He pulled back.
"Lily, I…."
"I love you."
"I love you too. I love you.
I love you," he repeated as he leaned down to kiss her again. She tilted her head slightly and smiled as he kissed her neck, pulling her close. She never wanted him to let go. And she thought she knew, somehow, that he never would.
Over the other side of the hall, Remus had fallen asleep, his head on his arms. His light brown hair fell over his face. Sirius was sitting in a corner, improvising his own rendition of Land of Hope and Glory.