TITLE: Broken

AUTHOR: LOTSlove®

CHARACTERS: Richard / Kahlan

RATING: PG-16 / T

TIMELINE: Anything up through S2 season finale (Tears) / Sequel to my fic Forever

STORY TYPE: Angst / Romance / Adventure

SPOILERS: Anything from Seasons 1 & 2

DISCLAIMER: I love them and love to write about them even though I don't own them or make a dime.

SUMMARY: Sequel to my fic Forever, Richard has found a diary that he thinks could help him deal with the rage that lives inside of him. Will the diary help him or create more chaos in the end?

Broken (Chapter 1)

A thick haze of misting rain and fog had settled over the city. It was as if the clouds themselves had descended from the heavens and swallowed the town whole. He sighed to himself, knowing it wouldn't be long before the rain would soon become snow in the coming weeks. Muddy water splashed sloppily about his feet as he pushed his way through the city, not really attempting to sidestep the puddles that dotted the streets. He had significantly more important things on his mind than soggy boots.

People hurried past him, anxious to return home before more approaching storms arrived. Paying little attention to the mysterious figure with the dark cloak pulled tightly around him, individuals bumped into him with mumbled half-hearted apologies.

A frosty blast of wind suddenly tore through him, seeping into his bones and causing his cloak to whip wildly about him like dark massive wings about to take flight. He shivered against the icy chill, snuggling deeper into the welcoming comfort of his cloak as his fingers slipped outside to brush some loose strands of long gray hair out of his face. He firmly gripped the hood, tugging it further down over his brow, further shadowing his face. Clutching the front of his wrap, he quickened his pace. The scuffing sounds of his boots against the stone street quickened into clipped steps full of intent.

He strode through the rapidly deserting streets, a specific destination and a plan in mind. The Keeper himself could not prevent him right now. Lightning bolts silently split across the greenish tinted sky, followed moments later by the loud cracking that seemed to vibrate the very ground he walked on, startling him from contemplating the inner demons that haunted him.

What little light he'd had dimmed significantly as he abruptly turned down a narrow side street. The shadows of the alley hastily rose up as if beasts let loose from the very depths of the Underworld had suddenly come specifically for him. He paid little attention to the ominous murkiness that had enveloped him the moment he entered the alley, knowing there wasn't anyone who could stop him even if they tried.

A sudden shriek erupted into the night air, causing a momentary pause in his step. Another shrilling cry ripped the foggy night in two before a cat unexpectedly darted out under foot from behind a stack of crates hidden amongst the shadows of the alley.

The unexpected intrusion mattered little to him as he continued on his way. There was much work to be done; everything else of importance had faded away a lifetime ago. Truthfully, his life had come to a horrifying end long ago. He was a shell of the man that he used to be, but he knew within his heart that had no one to blame but himself.

Approaching the end of the alley, he didn't bother looking over his shoulder to make sure that he had not been followed. No one had even noticed that he had left. He came to a stop before a thick stone wall and with the slightest flick of his wrist an unseen door suddenly creaked open.

Without hesitation, he disappeared through the magical opening before it closed behind him. What he expected to find here would hopefully bring his arduous journey to an end.

XXX

The air was thick with the heated passion that enveloped the room as rain fell steadily outside, drumming rhythmically against the windows. The sounds of heavy panting combined with repeated moans and cries of pleasure infused their suite just as it had been for the last three days.

Everyone knew better than to interrupt the Seeker and Mother Confessor this soon after their wedding. No one wanted to face the wrath of the Seeker's sword by intruding on their privacy. He had made it fully clear to Cara that they were not going to be leaving their suite for at least three days, maybe more. She had been put in charge of making sure it stayed that way.

Both collapsing onto the bed in exhausted rapture, Richard and Kahlan exchanged tender kisses as he pulled her still tremulous form to lie flush against him. Nuzzling against his sweat-slicked chest, Kahlan snuggled even closer into his embrace as their breathing gradually returned to normal.

The last few days locked away in their suite had been beyond incredible. She couldn't get enough of him, being only temporarily sated, but never wholly contented. She felt completely at peace as she listened to the tranquil sounds of the falling rain, the reassuring thump-thump of her lover's heart beneath her. She loved his heart, loved everything about this man who held her close.

Lost in thoughts of her husband, Kahlan absentmindedly traced the dips and curves of the muscles of his stomach. Remembering all the love that they had shared the last few days, she began to wonder if they had created a baby yet. Spirits knew that if she wasn't with child yet, it wasn't for lack of trying. She smiled to herself, blushing at the intense intimacy that they had repeatedly shared the last three days. She couldn't wait to have a baby with him, a child that was a piece of both of their hearts. She wanted all their daughters to look just like their handsome father.

As much as she wanted to talk to him about it, Kahlan didn't want to push him into having a family right away. They had only been married for a little over three days. They should take time to adjust to the changes in their lives, his new role in Aydindril as husband to the Mother Confessor, settling into some sort of routine before suddenly adding another member to their little family. Kahlan knew, though, that the Council would also want them to begin a family soon so the line of Confessors could be continued.

She just hoped that Richard would truly be happy with just having daughters. Every man wanted a son to carry on his name, to continue the legacy and heritage of the family, to teach them the things that their father had taught them. But she knew that she could never have a son. And if they did…she swallowed back the sudden flood of emotion that caused her throat to constrict with the thought, despair rising up within her and threatening the bliss that pervaded her entire spirit. A son with her could never be no matter how much she wished for one.

His heart finally returning to a steady beat, Richard ran his fingers through her slightly damp hair, savoring the feel of her feminine curves molded against his, her fingers tracing affectionately over his skin. Making love with her was better than he had ever dreamed was possible. He loved this moment right after carrying each other right over that intense pinnacle of rapture, holding each other close, their bodies cooling from their heated release, their hearts gradually returning to a steady rhythm from the frenzied pounding of showing each other what they felt deep within for the other.

Absentmindedly twisting and curling a strand of her hair around his finger, Richard lost himself to his wandering thoughts. The last three days had been intense and passionate to say the least. He wondered if they had created a baby yet. He couldn't wait to have a house full of daughters with her.

As much as he wanted to keep her all to himself for long as humanly possible, there was the part of him that could hardly wait to create a family with her, to see a part of him and Kahlan in that tiny little bundle in their arms, a daughter that was an amazing image of their pure love for one another. As many times as they had made love, he would be surprised if they hadn't made a baby together yet. Of course if they hadn't, they would just have to keep trying. He readily decided that that would be his most favorite part of the experience of creating a family with Kahlan – the trying.

The thought of making love with her, planting his seed deep within her, their essence combining to form a perfect little life inside of Kahlan's womb made his blood begin to pulsate wildly again in his veins. Their profound love creating a new life was the most amazing form of magic that he dreamed could ever exist.

As much as he wanted to talk to Kahlan about having a baby, he also didn't want to push her. She'd been through so much turmoil the last several days that he didn't want to cause her any more stress right now. She needed time to recover, time to heal, time to just be a wife before taking on the added responsibility of motherhood. He knew beyond a doubt, though, that Kahlan would be an amazing mother.

Having watched Kahlan with Renn, he knew well over a year ago what a wonderful mother she would be. It had been one of the things that had made him fall even more in love with her. It was what had made him voice those words to her about them being parents someday and having had the practice. Frowning, he internally groaned, still surprised that he had even allowed those thoughts to become voiced words.

And then there was her duty as Mother Confessor. He was sure there was a tremendous amount of work to be done since Kahlan had been gone for so long despite the fact that Dennee had been here overseeing things as best she could. He already hated the possibility of only seeing Kahlan in the morning when they woke and then again at the end of the day. Except for his time with the Sisters of the Light, he'd practically had her with him constantly for the last two years, had become so accustomed to selfishly having her by his side at any given moment of the day. Now, everything was all going to radically change.

Richard readily decided that they would wait to talk about having children until Kahlan brought it up. He would wait forever for her if that's what she asked of him. As much as he wanted to have a family with her, she above everything was still most important to him, even more so than having children. Her health and well-being came above all else. Without her, his life held no meaning.

Her head resting against his chest, Kahlan could hear his heart quickening. She wondered what he could be thinking about, what had made his heart suddenly beat faster. As much as she loved the last three days spent alone with him in their suite, Kahlan had some other plans for him. There was a special place she wanted to take him to tomorrow, a place that she had never before shared with another living soul. She hoped he would love it as much as she did. She hadn't been there since she had left Aydindril to find Richard.

Pressing another kiss to his chest, Kahlan closed her eyes, murmuring, "Good night, my love," as sleep swiftly claimed her exhausted but satisfied body.

"Night, my Kahlan," he sleepily murmured in response as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, his eyes slipping closed with equal exhaustion and contentment.

XXX

Walking hand in hand, Richard could only wonder at what his beautiful wife was up to. He could hardly wait to find out. The mischievous grin that played on her lips, the twinkle that danced in her eyes was driving him wild with need to be with her again despite that fact that they had locked themselves in their suite for over three days. Richard felt that he could have easily stayed in there with her forever.

Dragging her husband down the hall, Kahlan kept a tight grip on his hand. She could feel his eyes roaming over her posterior causing her to quicken her pace. She could barely wait to show him her favorite place in all of Aydindril, could hardly wait to feel his hands on her, touching her everywhere.

"Where are we going again?"

"You'll see soon enough," she lightly laughed, casting a playful glance back over her shoulder at him.

Her luxurious hair gently bounced with her eager steps, cascading down her back and shining in the wash of sunlight that flooded the main entrance. Richard was anxious to bury his hands in her thick hair, to run his fingers through the silky strands once more.

"There are some more things I'd love to show you back in our suite," he enticingly teased her, his eyes flashing with his desire for her.

"You already showed me more than I dreamed possible in our suite. It's my turn now," she purred, suddenly stopping and spinning around to capture his lips in a heated kiss of promise of what was to come.

Richard sighed deeply into her mouth, his fingers immediately finding her hair. "You've already been more than amazing, my Kahlan," he murmured against her lips, tilting his head to brush his nose against hers.

"Miss Kahlan! Mr. Cypher! So glad to see you," Edmond greeted with glee as he entered the main hall of the Confessor's Palace. "Finally decided to leave your suite?"

"Against my will," Richard complained with a devilish gleam in his chestnut eyes. "Kahlan can be very persuasive, though."

"That she is," Edmond readily agreed with a broad smile. It warmed his heart to see Kahlan and Richard so happy and in love. Watching the Seeker standing there with his arm wrapped around the Mother Confessor, Edmond had never seen Kahlan so happy in his entire life.

"I have a special place in Aydindril that I want to show my husband," Kahlan proudly stated as she looked into Richard's eyes, giving him the smile she shared with no other.

"Ah, I see. Well, I guess we can review those prisoners down in the dungeons tomorrow," he replied with a knowing smirk.

"I can review them later this evening after we return," Kahlan began, her brow furrowing with the sudden battle between love and duty.

"Oh, no you won't," Richard adamantly protested, pulling her into a firmer embrace. "My wife is all mine at least for today. The Mother Confessor can return to her duties tomorrow."

"I agree. You better go, though, before Miss Cara discovers that you're leaving the Palace grounds," Edmond reminded them, wiggling his wiry eyebrows in warning.

Releasing his hold on her, Richard gripped her hand, leading Kahlan from the main entrance. "Thank you, Edmond," he called over his shoulder as Kahlan quickly passed him, taking the lead once more as she adjusted her pack on her shoulder.

Following his wife out to the horse stables, Richard's mind began to drift over Kahlan's duties as the Mother Confessor. He knew that Kahlan had seen horrendous things, had taken confessions from some of the vilest people in the territories, had risked her life on countless occasions, but the full extent of the dangers that she was still in as the Mother Confessor was just beginning to sink in.

Now that the rift was sealed and the Keeper was defeated, Richard had naively assumed that the risk to Kahlan had somehow diminished, that she wouldn't be put into those dangerous situations any longer. He knew that her role as the Mother Confessor required her to preside and rule over criminals, to negotiate settlements and further peace, but he certainly hated the idea of her being down in that filthy dungeon with those prisoners.

Richard attempted to remind himself that Kahlan had been a Confessor long before he had known her, had been trained in that role since coming to live in Aydindril and had been down in those dungeons numerous times. She was the most powerful Mother Confessor in thousands of years. But that had been before he even knew Kahlan Amnell existed and she certainly hadn't been his wife back then either.

It was hard for him to imagine life before Kahlan, though. It was as if she had always been a part of him, a part of him that he hadn't been aware of until he met her. Since then, the feeling of finally being complete and whole because of her was something he could never live without. Without Kahlan, he was a body without a soul.

He tried to remember that Kahlan was capable of taking care of herself, but that did little to calm the tempest of worry that was beginning to swell in his heart. Richard suddenly came to a stop, startling Kahlan as he pulled her back to him. "I don't like the idea of you going down into the dungeons with those prisoners, Kahlan."

"What?"

Staring at him, Kahlan was completely taken aback by his words. Concern creased his forehead, his eyebrows drawn down as he stared into her eyes, piercing directly into her soul. He was clutching her hand tightly, holding it against his heart as he studied her.

"I know you're the Mother Confessor, Kahlan, but I still don't like the idea of you going down into the dungeons and being around those criminals. It's dangerous. You could get hurt or taken captive…or worse."

Watching the tempest of emotions cloud his eyes, Kahlan could see how deeply worried he was about her. "Richard, I've been down there hundreds of times. There are guards everywhere down there. It would be foolish for them to try anything."

"I know, but you weren't my wife then. I don't want you going down there."

"It's my duty as the Mother Confessor to take their confessions and pronounce judgment. Besides, I can take care of myself, Richard," she smiled at him, attempting to allay his fears as she turned to walk away.

Richard refused to let her go so quickly, exasperation and fear seeping into his soul. To him, this was not a settled matter. "I'm serious, Kahlan…" he pushed further, irritation brewing just beneath the surface and looking for release.

"And so am I. I will not relinquish my duties as Mother Confessor because my husband is being over-protective." Kahlan could feel her annoyance begin to simmer. Where was this coming from? He was being ridiculous. The prisoners knew better than to try anything when locked in a dungeon with a Confessor.

Sighing in frustration, Richard finally brought her hand to his lips. Brushing her fingers with soft kisses, he watched the fire of annoyance in her eyes rapidly turn into a fire of a different sort. It caused arousal to suddenly spark within him as well.

"Alright, but I'm going with you," he finally relented, not wanting to ruin their day together. "I just don't know what I'd do if anything happened to you, Kahlan. I love you."

"…forever, Richard," she declared with a lop-sided smile. Leaning in, she kissed him with a passion that equaled the look that burned in her eyes. "Now, come on…I've got something to show you."

"I'll bet you do," he muttered in amusement, allowing her to drag him around to the stables, aching to be alone with her once more…