After almost a decade of dancing around the issue, things came to a head as she was getting ready to marry someone else. Sam fully intended on getting married to Pete, everything was set, the hall was booked, she had a dress, and he had bought her dream house as a wedding present. Pete was everything Sam thought she wanted, he was kind, steady, reliable, and best of all he was normal. The only problem was that he wasn't Jack O'Neill.
She might have gone through with the wedding if it wasn't for her dad. Sam had gone over to Jack's house ready to confess her feelings when she realised he had female company. It was like a punch in the gut and the answer she was looking for. However just as she was going to leave, she got the call that her father was dying and ran off. At his bedside, he begged her to not let the Air Force ruin her happiness. He implored her to ignore the rules that stood in her way.
After that, as she and Jack stood in his bed he died. Jack had been amazing, he had stood by her through everything, her calling off the engagement, her settling Jacob's affairs and hardest of all the funeral. Sam delivered the eulogy not once breaking eye contact Jack, certain she would fall to pieces if she did. Jack O'Neill had been her rock and the one thing keeping together, he asked and expected nothing of her. Sam didn't think she would have made it without him.
Finally, after they took care of everything he asked if she wanted to go fishing with him. He had often invited her (and everyone else) but she always refused, giving work as an excuse. The truth was that she didn't trust herself with him. At work, Sam kept feelings under a tight lid focused completely on the mission. At his cabin, she knew she would let her guard down with the SGC hundreds of miles away. Sam knew the overwhelming physical attraction combined with real feelings of love would push her over the edge and there would be no going back. This time she accepted the invitation.
Jack offered his cabin with the intention of giving Sam space to clear her head and to hide from the world for a while. Jack and Sam flew out to the cabin on a military transport on Thursday afternoon for a three-day weekend. June in Minnesota was beautiful warm enough to have the snow gone and the ground warm but not hot enough to be miserable yet. Jack planned ahead and paid the neighbour kid to stock the cabin with fresh fruit, vegetables, plenty of meat for grilling. He didn't want Carter to have to think about anything for the next three days just rest and relaxation, God knew she had been through enough lately.
Jack had been concerned about Carter, always so strong she looked lost and vulnerable, it was jarring to see her his way. Together they had survived more near-death experiences to count, hopeless situations, alternate timelines, and the death of good friends in their war against both the Replicators and Gao'uld but this was different. This had shaken her to her core. Jack was worried that being too strong was going to break her. She made all the arrangements as if in a trance, never shedding a single tear. It's a popular misconception that the strong are unyielding, That type of strength stands firm in the wind and snaps in the storms. True strength is able to stand and bend in the storm. Those who could bend survived. Jack knew if Sam didn't yield to her grief that she would snap.
Sam accepted the beer and sat in a lawn chair and watched him grill dinner. "You know Dad always liked you," She told him. "He thought about you like a son, he told me so once when he thought we were both going to die."
Jack nodded. He had felt close to Carter's dad as well, he was closer to Jacob than he ever had been to his own father. Jacob understood Jack on many different levels, as an officer with the weight of command, as a father, and as perhaps the only man who loved his daughter as much as he did.
"He was the best man I knew," Jack said sitting down next to her. "It still doesn't seem real that he's gone. I keep thinking that he'll come walking into the gate room fresh off a mission."
Sam sighed "I know what you mean. Even when he was dying of cancer he still seemed invincible to me. I always felt that everything would be okay as long as my dad was here. He could make everything feel safe. I never met a dragon that he couldn't slay" Her eyes watering, she looked away trying to fight off tears.
Jack knelt in front of her and took her hands. "Listen to me, just because Jacob's gone doesn't mean that we aren't going to slay the dragons, it just means that you are going to it instead. The world is a safe place because Jacob left his daughter," Sam tears running down her cheeks couldn't hold in the sobs. Jack drew her up drawing her into his arms, sitting down he held Sam on his lap, her head on his chest and stroking her hair. Jack held her until she was dry both physically and emotionally numb.
By the time she cried herself out the sunset and the hamburgers had long gone cold. Jack took the plate of cold meat and Sam's hand leading her inside. "I'm sorry Sir that was inappropriate and it will never happen again," Sam told him
"Look there's no sir here, no Air Force. Just Jack and Sam, two friends spending a weekend together," Jack said "What happens here stays in this cabin. You cry, scream, do anything you need to do. It will all stay right here."
Sam still numb just nodded. Jack gave her another beer and some salad he had prepared that afternoon. She sat moving the food around her plate starting to go back into her detached trance. "You are going to eat every bite of that," Jack ordered using his best Colonel voice. Sam looked up a bit startled but ate every bite under his steely gaze. Jack was relieved Carter was going to be fine, he should have never doubted her. Sam wasn't weak in any way physically or emotionally, of course, she would get through this.
The next morning Sam woke up to the smell of coffee. She felt a little lighter after last night's breakdown, she still didn't feel like herself but a little closer than she was before. Sam cringed a little when she thought about sobbing on Jack's chest. She had felt safe in his arms in a way that she had never felt with Pete.
"Good morning," Jack greeted her bringing her a cup of coffee and a plate of danishes.
"Thank you," Sam responded as she took the cup gratefully. Taking in the smell she was surprised by a hint of her favourite vanilla creamer. She knew Jack always drank his coffee black.
"How are you holding up?" he asked sitting on her bed unable to resist the urge to caress her cheek.
"Better today," Sam answered as she took that first sip. "Come sit down," she invited patting the bed beside her. Jack slid into the bed next to her and Sam put her head on her shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Jack put his arm around her, after last night all boundaries seemed to be a distant memory. They ate breakfast in comfortable silence both lost in their own thoughts.
Sam thinking about the camping trips she used to take with her dad and brother. Every summer her father would take leave and they would go down to some woods in Virginia. The entire week was spent in the woods at a location kept secret from the rest of the brass in DC. Sam always had a blast hiking, fishing, and getting lost in the woods. Her mother used to make amazing dutch oven meals that she dreamed of all year. It was the one time a year that he brother was bearable and even likeable. Best of all it was the one time a year they didn't have to share Jacob with the Air Force. Her eyes started to water again.
"I'm really sorry," Sam told him wiping her eyes again. "It wasn't this bad when my mother died, I'm not sure why I'm such a mess"
"It's different because loss compounds on itself," Jack told her drawing her closer "It feels like you're mourning your mother again too. You're also mourning the fact that you're an orphan."
Sam sat there stunned at Jack's emotional insight, usually, introspection was not exactly his strong suit. "I joined a bereavement group for a while after Charlie died," He explained softly. Sam nodded mortified that she had forgotten about his loss.
"Oh, Jack I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring up horrible memories," She tried to apologise.
"Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, both good memories and bad ones. Never apologise for giving me an excuse to talk about him," Jack reassured her. "Now, you need to get dressed and we are going fishing," Jack said as he got up taking the dishes.
Forty-five minutes later they were dressed and sitting on the pier of the small pond behind his cabin, a cooler full of beer and sandwiches set between their chairs. "Dad and I used to fish when we went camping," Sam told him. "We used to go every year, we would get up early while Mom and Mark were still asleep and catch fish for lunch. Dad would make up stories about his Air Force adventures, he had me convinced he was an astronaut spy going into space and spying on the Russians."
"I could see him doing that." Jack said smiling, "He wasn't far off I've read his file and he was in charge of reviewing information obtained from our satellites spying on Russia."
Sam laughed "That was Dad finding the adventure in the ordinary."
"My grandfather and I used to go fishing with Charlie," Jack told her "This was my Pop's cabin before he died and we would come here and fish, we never told him there wasn't any fish in the pond and every time Charlie swore he was going to catch the biggest fish we had ever seen. I planned on stocking the pond before we came up here again just so he could catch his fish, but I never got the chance."
"I'm so sorry Jack" Was all Sam could say squeezing his hand. Jack continued "Now when I come here I think about him and the fish he never caught."
"How did you ever survive it? Sam asked him. "I almost didn't," Jack reminded her "I took the first Adydos mission as a suicide request. But life goes on because it has too. I have to live because Charlie can't. The Stargate gives hope to Earth even if most of the planet has no clue. Sam your dad wouldn't want this. He once told me that you and Mark were the greatest things he had ever done and this was after his blending."
"I know, I just don't know how, " Sam told him with fresh sobs.
Jack took her in his arms again, After she cried herself dry again he calmly handed her back her fishing pole and another beer. Fishing in the fishless pond had a calming effect on her. She stared out across the water, taking a sandwich from the cooler she ate lunch. Returning to her task she cast her line across the water again, feeling a little lighter. Walking back to the cabin for dinner she held Jack's hand again as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Sam cooked dinner wanting to eat something other than Jack's grilling. Jack sat at the breakfast nook watching her cook. Turing on the radio she hummed along to the song, catching herself she looked up embarrassed. "You have no idea how beautiful you do you?" Jack asked. Sam blushed. "I've wanted to say that for a long time"
"Why haven't you?" Sam replied
"It never seemed appropriate, besides I wasn't supposed to notice," Jack told he told her. "But I would have been dead if I didn't notice a pretty girl."
"Daniel and Teal'c don't think of me that way," Sam said.
"I'd have to shoot them if they did," Jack told her.
"Dad hinted about us, he never liked Pete" Sam confessed.
"I hated Pete too, you were always too good for Pete" Jack agreed.
"Why didn't you say anything?" Sam asked.
"What was I supposed to say, please don't marry that idiot, I'm in love with you, but I can offer you nothing but please don't do it?" Jack replied.
Sam looked up at him startled "When I went to your house a couple of weeks ago I was going to ask you but then I interrupted you and Kerry Johnson. How's that working out?" Sam gave a brittle laugh
"She dumped me, said she can't be with a man in love with someone else," Jack informed her.
"In love with someone else?" Sam said with a catch in her throat.
"Come on Sam, you know, you always have known. At first, I thought it was a passing infatuation, just a lonely old man taken by a pretty girl. But over the past 8 years, it's grown and we have something" Jack told her, Sam nodded.
"I do know," She said softly, "now that we've laid the cards on the table now what?" Sam asked
"Nothings changed, I'm still your CO and the mission has to come first," Jack told her
"I thought that the Air Force didn't exist this weekend." Sam reminded him
"What about Monday morning when we report back?" Jack asked with longing in his eyes
Sam didn't answer and went back to chopping vegetables for the chicken stir fry she was making. Jack's right she told herself, nothing's changed he's still my CO. The silence was heavy as she finished cooking. As she started to plate the food he disappeared and came back with a bottle of wine. "I don't think beer goes with stir fry," He told her. Sam gave one of her dazzling smiles, "Wine sounds amazing," She told him. The enjoyed their wine and two more bottles after that one was gone as well. Later after dinner and dishes, they curled up on the couch to watch a movie. Neither one said anything as he put his arm around her and Sam leant against him and held his hand. Their eyes met and for a moment Sam thought Jack was going to kiss her. But he tore his gaze away from her. Sam started to doze off and she felt Jack kiss the top of her head.
"Let's get you to bed," Jack said gently shaking her awake.
"Okay" Sam agreed sleepily, Jack led her down the hall to the guest room and helped her to bed. "Stay with me," Sam invited and Jack knew he should refuse, he knew that this was the one line he couldn't cross and the one woman he couldn't have but the wine and want took over and he climbed into bed with her. Jack knew there wouldn't be any sex, Sam was drunk, tired and vulnerable and he wasn't going to take advantage of her, but he couldn't resist the thought of her sleeping in his arms. As soon as Jack got into the bed Sam laid her head on his chest and fell asleep again. Jack held her a little closer and sleep overcame him.
Waking up the next morning Sam was a little startled to see Jack there, she hoped she hadn't made a complete fool of herself. "Good morning Sleeping Beauty," Jack greeted her.
"What happened?" Sam asked him.
"Nothing happened," Jack told her truthfully, "You just didn't want to be alone."
Sam leant over and kissed him. Jack giving in kissed her back tenderly. "I still don't want to be alone," she told him.
Jack looked at her, he didn't want to be alone anymore either. Jack admired Samantha Carter. She was beautiful, but that was common enough, she was also crazy smart, and brave. He had never known anyone so brave man or woman, most of all she had a compassion. Jack often thought of her as his better angel and his conscience. So far he had been married or engaged to her in two different versions of the universe and under an alien "mind stamp" they had became involved. At this point, even Jack had to wonder about fate.
"I can't ruin your career, Major" Jack told her, jarring them back to the present, "and I've tried to retire, twice and it hasn't worked out so well. I love you too much to do that to you."
Sam considered, the SGC couldn't lose Jack he was the best leader they had, he had an instinct that couldn't be taught. She couldn't quit either, she was the leading expert in astrophysics and no one (at least not on Earth) knew as much about the Stargate as she did. Sadly both of them were irreplaceable, but she had an idea. Sam felt stupid for not thinking about it earlier.
"What if I wasn't Air Force?" She asked him
"You can't do that," Jack told her "you basically built the program and your brain has saved the planet more times than I can count. Sam, we can't do this without you."
"I didn't say anything about quitting the SGC, I asked about quitting the Air Force," Seeing the confused look on his face she continued, "I can still work as a civilian contractor, I can still be Dr Carter. I don't have to be Air Force to do my job, I can still use my clearance and expertise. Daniel and Teal'c aren't military and it's never been a problem."
"It's still against regs if you're under my direction" Jack reminded her
"I think the Earth owes us a favour," she said exasperated, "the President owes you a favour, I think it's time to use it."
Jack considered her idea, it wasn't bad. She was right her military rank was just icing on her resume, they could never replace her and would contract her if it were the only way. She would still be under his direction but they could always move her direct supervisor to the science team and have her on the team as a science liaison. Jack grinned it was perfect, he leant over and kissed her passionately. Breaking it off he reluctantly got up, they couldn't do anything until Sam was a civilian, he wasn't going to screw this up on a technicality.
They spent their last day excitedly making plans. Sam was going to have to officially resign while negotiating a contract. Then their lives belonged to them, it was a little daunting to consider after repressing any thought of being together for the past eight years. Now they made plans for vacations, weekends away, and of course more fishing. Samantha deeply regretted that her father wasn't alive to see this but knew he would have been happy for them.
That night they slid into his bed unwilling to be apart, but exercising all the strength and discipline he had learned over his 28-year career they curled up together to enjoy their final night at the cabin. In the morning they would go back to the SGC and start the process that would set them free but for now, Earth was safe and he had Samantha Carter in his arms, everything was right in the universe.