Rogue busted into her room and slammed the door behind her, her head throbbing. Finally safe in the comfort of her own room her icy facade melted, giving way to a very vulnerable girl. Things just didn't seem to get better for her. She tugged at her maroon shirt sleeve, pacing around frantically. She rummaged through drawer after drawer, seeking a very precious possession.
She sighed to herself when she finally found the silvery razor blade. She glared at it in her palm for a moment before turning her attention to her bare arm. Seeing Scott and Jean together was something she never quite got used to. She wasn't an optimist. Rogue was a bright girl and she knew she had about as much of a chance getting with Scott as she did taking off in flight. It still wasn't pleasant to watch him kiss Ms. Perfect. Oh Jean, that was a whole other issue in itself. A shining antithesis of everything Rogue was.
Scott and Jean were finally triumphing over the awkward phase in their newfound relationship. There couldn't be worse news for Rogue.
Heaving a sigh, Rogue placed the icy blade to icy skin. It was then she seemed to remember she lived with a squad of super human mutants. There was never any telling when someone might show up. Flicking the blade between fingers she slinked into her bathroom, decorated in the same colors as her sullen wardrobe. There she felt isolated and a bit more safe.
To Rogue, life was war. And this razor was her trusted sword, slicing through multitudes of anxiety and pain. Some would say Rogue had an illness. She'd answer that it was a cure, the best one she'd found for life.
Rogue dragged the metal through translucent skin. She shut her eyes, dragging the sharp edge a bit recklessly. She found that it was a mistake. She glared as the thin red line formed. Soon it began to drop. Fast. "Shit..." She hissed in a thick southern accent. She grabbed a plum colored towel and ran it under room temperature water. She placed it onto the long, red line with a hiss.
This was a wound that wouldn't easily be excused. It looked serious and a bit more deliberate than she'd planned. The last thing Rogue could ever imagine she needed was for anyone to suspect the resident goth girl of cutting. The cloth resting on her arm she began to search for other materials. "God damn it. Where did ah put that gauze..."
Soon enough she had the fluffy material pressed to her afflicted arm. The adrenaline wearing off, she sighed, sliding against the wall into a sit in the bathroom. She never did get used to the euphoric feeling. After a while she gingerly eased her sleeve back down and rose to her feet. 'Ah can't stay in there foreva...' She thought bitterly, carefully easing out of the small room. When she realized she was still alone, she smirked, flicking the light off and entering her room.
She had only taken a few steps when she was startled by the sudden apparition of her cheery roommate. Kitty Pryde, clad in an ever so stylish off the shoulder turquoise shirt and khaki capris phased through their door with ease, her face lighting up at the sight of her friend. Rogue winced, imagining her bubbly talk. She had been sighted, it was too late to slink away from the younger girl now.
"Hey! I haven't seen you like, all day. Where have you been, anyways?" Rogue rolled her eyes and quickly made her way to the gloomier side of the room.
"Ah've been in here all day." Was her kurt response, her back towards the other female. She had hoped the underclassman would pick up on her annoyed tone. Apparently not.
"Oh... Well... What've you been up to!?" Kitty tried again cheerfully. Rogue cringed. Her arm now stung and she was in no mood to have senseless talk with Kitty of all people. She liked the girl just fine and they had bonded over many things, but Rogue couldn't shake her constant feeling of helplessness and isolation, even from her friends.
"What would Ah be up to? There's nothin' to do around here except train n' go to school..." Rogue muttered in response. Kitty rubbed her arm awkwardly, thinking of a way to continue the conversation. She didn't get a chance. Before she smoke the smell of brimstone and sulfur erupted into the room, revealing the blue furred teleporter of the institute. Grinning ear to ear, her tapped Kitty on the shoulder.
"You are it!" he cried in a heavy German accent. No sooner than he appeared was he gone, leaving behind a strong smelling cloud of smoke. Kitty smirked defiantly and reached out for Rogue.
"Oh no you don't! Come on, let's find him!" cried Kitty, naturally grabbing for Rogue's arm. Unfortunately she caught her wounded arm, causing the girl to hiss and jerk away violently. Kitty backed away in surprise at Rogue's recoil. "O-Oh my god, Rogue! Are you alright?"
She burned over the goth girl's accusatory glare. "Wanna watch it next time?" Her irritated and defensive response only added to Kitty's concern and suspicion.
"Are you okay... What, um.. What happened?" Panic surged through Rogue's stomach as she thought quickly.
"Nothin', I jusr banged it up in the Danger Room, y'know?" Kitty nodded, relaxing slightly. She was no stranger to the many wounds handed out by the Danger Room. She smiled weakly. "
Oh, well I'm sorry. I won't ignore your personal space again. You're welcome to come and play tag, I think you'd have fun!" Rogue shrugged, rubbing her arm absentmindedly.
"Thanks, but Ah think Ah'll pass." Rogue answered gently. Kitty's smile faltered.
"Alright, see ya then!" Rogue watched as the girl sucked in a deep breath and disappeared through a nearby wall.
"Yeah, see ya." After that somewhat close encounter she was feeling a bit flustered in her room. Slowly, she opened her door and slipped out to amble the halls of the institute for a change. She felt her fists tighten as she ignored the stares of the younger students, new recruits who'd found their home at Xavier's Institute For Gifted Youngsters. Rumors and truths made their way around the school fast. She could suck the life out of anyone. She destroyed Apocalypse. She saved the world. If she wanted she could destroy it.
The hallway of students parted with her passing, just as Rogue liked it. 'It's better that way.' She thought bitterly, not really believing her inner monologue. After a while of pacing around Rogue's arm didn't feel much better. It was killing her. Sending a few careful glances around her she slipped into another bathroom. The cut had stopped bleeding but it throbbed terribly. She carefully covered it with the intricate bandaging, slipping out of the bathroom as quickly as she entered.
She felt herself bump into a solid, lean body. Her green eyes trailed upward to the face of Scott Summers, resident X-Men leader on and off the battlefield. A towel hung limply around his neck, sweat glistening on his brow. Ever diligent he'd just returned from a rough Danger Room session. He sipped on a glass of water and eyed the younger girl. "Hey Rogue, what's up?"
As he waited for a response he realized she looked a bit flushed. "You feeling okay?" Rogue's stomach flipped as she watched his brow furrow in knots. 'No...'
"Y-Yeah.. Why?" She bit back defensively. Scott swallowed.
"Oh well, you... I mean you looked a little pale an-" His voice trailed off as Jean entered in a simple black dress, her red mane swept up for the day. Her eyes lit up as she eyed her boyfriend, fighting the urge to hover over to him.
"Hey! Hurry up and change, we're gonna miss the movie if- Oh!" Jean jumped a bit a she noticed the younger girl behind her. Rogue groaned internally as Jean smiled. "Hi Rogue! Are you feeling alright?" Rogue snorted. 'Now she thinks somethin's wrong with me!' She huffed, crossing her arms.
"Contrary to popular belief, Ah'm fine." She retorted. Jean chuckled slightly and placed a hand on Scott's arm.
"Alright well, try and drink some water or something. You seem a bit pale- Er, paler than usual. Um, but we're going to get going..." Scott looked between the two girls. Jean had always known Rogue had feelings for the older boy. She'd been through a lot in the past few weeks and tried to reach out to her. As she looked at the younger girl she could sense a great feeling of dread and mental unrest.
She waved as she left with Scott, her arm linked in his. He noticed immediately that something seemed to be troubled his long time friend and girl friend. He gave her a knowing look. "What's up?" He questioned seriously, his jaw firm. Jean swallowed. She knew she couldn't hide much from him. She tried to smile, looking into his face.
"Hopefully nothing."
Rogue watched them retreat for a while, a dull throbbing beginning to surface in her head. She was no stranger to migraines but this was different. It was almost paralyzing. Rogue felt weak as she ambled back to her room. That's when a voice sounded. 'Why did you cut yourself?'Was someone communicating with her telepathically? A bit caught off guard Rogue hesitantly responded.
'Ah... Ah had that feeling again.' She began, fearful she was finally losing it. She wondered if she would get an answer.
'Yes… but what made you feel that way? You should cut Jean, not your arm.' 'it said.
Rogue felt appalled and embarrassed that'd have such a thought. These were members of her team, comrades. Rogue may not have felt like she could tell them everything but they fought alongside each other and hurting them was one of her greatest fears. 'I would never hurt her!' Rogue mentally shouted back.
'She stole the only one you ever loved away from you!' it shouted back. "He was never mine!" shouted Rogue out loud, causing a few new recruits to give her odd stares. Rogue smiled sheepishly and hurried along to her bedroom. 'What's going on?'
Rogue finally escaped to her room, holding her head in agony. "What was that?" she asked out loud. Those thoughts were not her own, that was all she knew. It f scared her having that thought of actually hurting someone in the institute. It didn't even feel like she was alone anymore. How long was this person probing in her mind? What did they know, when did they get there? Her head was spinning at the thought.
To take her mind off of it she decided to check her arm, which was feeling numb more than anything. She cringed, running her finger over the afflicted arm. It seemed as soon as she lifted the gauze, a rap at the door was heard. Rogue jumped and quickly pulled her shirt sleeve down.
She managed to get to the door to see Wolverine glaring down at her. She swallowed, a nervous feeling swirling in her gut. She knew he could scent the faintest bit of fear. Biting her lip she stared up at him. "L-Logan… Is everything Ahll right?" stuttered Rogue.
"Hmm. I came to ask you. I haven't seen you around very much." he stated, expecting a reason. His face was hard but intense worry shined his steely eyes. He felt that he and the young girl were alike in a lot of ways. It fueled his need to protect her at all costs.
"Oh… Well, I've been under the weather a bit." she said. Logan sniffed pointedly, obviously catching the blood. He was silent though. Rogue luckily had her feminine issues to thank for that. Logan was never good at articulating himself and he certainly wasn't one to ask about her period.
"If you say so. Dinner will be ready soon, come down and get some. You're thinnin' out, Stripes." Rogue nodded sheepishly and exhaled as the older mutant disappeared down a corridor.
She shut the door with a sigh noticing her head hurt more than ever. "Well, that sure is a nasty gash on you arm." the voice started. Rogue responded unsurely.
"Why do you care?"
"No need for hostility… Remember… I'm your friend. You can tell me things and talk to me. I know more about you than maybe you do." it said reassuringly. Something about the way this voice spoke was... Comforting. Rogue felt that maybe, just maybe, they really did know her. Slowly she started to let down her guard.
"Well…. Yeah. It's kinda bad. It'll heal." she responded mentally.
"Dear, if the school gym teacher sees while you change….. They'll send you to the counselor and they'll call the professor. We don't want that." it told her. Rogue nodded. "Fake a note. Forge it. They won't find out."
" That's not... A bad idea." Rogue realized.
Immediately, she pulled out a piece of notebook paper and tore out a sheet, and in her best handwriting wrote:
"Please excuse Rogue from gym. Her back has been strained and she shouldn't have too much activity for quite a few weeks."
Professor Xavier
Rogue was satisfied with her work. "Maybe it isn't bad…" she said, referring to the voice. "The only friend I have right now that doesn't think I'm weird…." she said. She heard rummaging around on the stairs and decided to appear for dinner.
REPOSTED
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