Disclaimer: I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia.
All rights belong to Hidekaz Himaruya. . Oh how I wish I owned it, only the story here is mine v.v
Just outside of England's home, having had the meeting there this time, the cold winter's brisk air brushed past the Canadian's red cheeks as he sat outside watching the snow. Everyone had left out to eat already. Holding Kumajiro, he nuzzled his face into the bear's fur as he sat outside. Canada enjoyed watching the snow when he was a bit upset. After the meeting, where everyone kept forgetting him and ended up leaving without him, he needed time to think. Was he so unimportant that no one could even remember his name? He is the second largest country! Even with that said, why was he so forgettable? Before he could stop himself tears began to stream down his face, "Kumkichi, why can't I ever be remembered? Or even noticed? Why am I so…forgettable..?" Choking on his sobs, Canada's polar bear Kumajiro did his best to calm his friend. "Who?" He said as he gently pawed at the crying Canadian. "I...I'm Canada…" after a while he began calming down, he began wiping away his tears as he tried to speak "Kumachi...let's go eat." With that said, the bear nodded "food." Even if he wasn't remembered or noticed, he had Kumajiro. At times though, he wanted so much more.
Holding his bear, he walked along the familiar streets of London looking for a small café that he usually went to after meetings there. It allowed him to bring his bear and put maple syrup in his coffee. (Even though it wasn't REAL maple, it was somewhat close, eh?). He smiled slightly looking at the warm welcoming shop sign; in a beautiful cursive it held one lively large sunflower that had been painted on it making it look so warm. Walking into the shop, Canada sat at his favorite spot, a table beside one of the large windows looking out. After ordering his coffee with syrup for himself and one Shepherd's pie for Kuma, he received an odd look from the waiter who nodded and left. Kumajiro promptly fell asleep at his side as Canada looked at the snow that lightly fell from the window. Snow was so pretty…soon, though, his eyes caught movement. Looking carefully he noticed the man's heavy coat, as well as pale pink scarf…Russia? He watched as the Russian stared at the sign, he looked so lonely…
Getting out of his seat, careful not to move Kumajiro, he went outside. Russia stood looking at the sunflower admiring how beautiful it was. Out of the blue he heard a soft voice calling out from the café entrance. Looking at the blonde, he was slightly confused. He was familiar, what was his name again? Glancing at the sunflower once more he followed the blonde in, with a childish, mischievous smile on his face. He followed smiling just for own amusement, just to see it frighten the boy as he stood beside him entering the café. Slightly trembling, Canada almost wished he hadn't asked the large nation to come inside with him as he looked up at Russia. The smile stayed as they sat at the table by the window. Canada began to fidget. The smile Russia had was why he trembled in fear.
"And you are?" The three words he was all too familiar with…
Canada tried hiding the sad disappointment as he spoke softly, "I'm Canada."
Nodding a bit, Russia almost suddenly remembered the Canadian; he was usually mistaken for America or as a stranger or just completely forgotten. Did he feel sorry for him? Of course not, it was his fault for being so invisible. He smiled hearing the pain in the Canadian's voice; this boy was horrible at hiding things. "….who?" Kumajiro sleepily looked at Russia, oblivious to the fact that he had not been there earlier. "This is Russia." Canada said softly. The bear, obviously bored, simply went back to sleep not caring any longer. "Rus-," began Canada before Russia cut him short by speaking. "Ivan, I am Ivan." Being called Russia around humans would cause too much attention. The Canadian smiled, the little twirl of hair bouncing slightly "O-oh…okay…Ivan, I'm Mathew."
The Russian nodded as well "Matvey."
"Matthew." Canada tried correcting.
Ivan simple smiled once again "Matvey."
Before the Canadian could open his mouth and correct him, Ivan's creepy smile appeared, Ivan clearly wasn't going to call him Matthew any time soon. Canada slightly shook nodding as he looked away, God he was scary. After few minutes of their awkward silence, he looked back at Ivan. The Russian sat looking out at the snow, his eyes so sad. As Matthew opened his mouth to speak, the waiter came by handing him what he had ordered, glancing at Ivan, and seeing that he did not look like he wanted anything; he put down the bill and walked off. Kumajiro woke up trying to eat his food, paying no mind to them.
Matthew began to drink his maple coffee feeling uncomfortable with the silence that remained. Thankfully, it was Ivan who broke the silence with a question he couldn't answer, "Why did you ask me to sit with you?" Usually, the others would try their best to keep away from him, well except for that loud mouthed America.
Caught off guard, Matthew slightly choked on his coffee "H-Huh, O-Oh, a-ah you looked so lonely… I-I thought you'd like company..." He had started to fiddle with his thumbs looking at his coffee; he knew how it felt to be alone. He did not like it one bit, why would Russia. Though he heard so much gruesome cold stories about the Russian, he did not see why he should let him be alone. Everyone needed someone or else it could push someone off the edge. Matthew knew Ivan was usually alone, which he knew meant it was why he is the way he is; amongst the other reasons he probably kept secret this must be one of the reasons…right?
Ivan smiled his cold, childish smile that he knew would scare the weak little Canadian, "Matvey is too nice, for all you could have known, I could have attacked you and forced you to become one with Russia? You are so weak, no one would notice you disappear~" He slightly laughed, which caused the Canadian to shake again, "You would be forgotten so easily, forcing you to become one would have been easy. Then, you would live with me, and you could keep me from being 'lonely'" Ivan knew the words of being forgotten would hurt the Canadian.
He could see it as Matthew tried to blink away the tears. He knew it was because of the way he acted so cruelly that he drove others away… But, it was because he knew letting someone become too close would only hurt them. They would try to see behind the mask he held, which would only end in horrible disaster. He wanted someone to stay with him forever, so close…yet, also wanted them to stay as far away as they possibly could. He knew what he had done to Lithuania. The scars, the pain he inflicted. He was drunk most of the time; he had hurt him so badly, though, it wasn't an excuse. He hurt others too far, yet, still half hoped people would want to stay with him.
"Matvey should know better than to judge one too lightly. Or you might just end up in your own hell." Ivan laughed as he looked out the window once again; it was easier to hurt the Canadian because if he didn't, the Canadian could end up like the scarred Lithuania.
"…Ivan..." Matthew's shaky voice was barely above a whisper. Not even looking at him, Ivan responded with a simple 'what.'
"…I didn't believe you would have done that…" Startled by Matthews's words, he turned to look at him. "Your lonely…I can tell because I am too…a lot. So forcing me to become one….would just most likely end in disaster…I don't know why you're telling me things like that, but I do know…you have a reason for saying that." Matthew avoided Ivan's stare as he ran his fingers through, the now sleeping, Kumajiro. Smiling in amusement, Ivan chose to see how much the Canadian thought he knew.
"Then what reason would that be, comrade?" Ivan said with amusement held in his voice.
Canada looked at the Russian. He didn't know why but he felt determined to understand what went on in the Russians mind,
"I don't know…Even though our bosses are in good terms. I rarely speak with you; you're a blocked off mystery to me… I don't know what goes on in your mind…"
Ivan shook his head with the usual childish smile that didn't leave his lips, "You are so annoying little Matvey. Unless you plan to become one with Mother Russia, do not bother me and my 'loneliness'." It was fun to see the Canadian beginning to fidget, trying to find an answer. Matthew wanted to know more about Ivan, yet, he wanted to know as less as possible and run out the cafe. Feeling no need to stay, Ivan stood up to leave. A twinge of pain in his heart, he wanted to stay with Matvey, the one person who seemed to want to talk to him. But, he knew staying would be showing a weak spot. His loneliness, the one little Matvey had noticed. Walking out the café into the snow, making a tiny wish that the Canadian would stop him, Russia's smile leaving his lips as soon as his face was out of the Canadians view. Fixing his scarf, he glanced once more at the sunflower again, reading the cursive words next to this time, Spring Bloom Café. What a beautiful name. Damn, he needed vodka now.
Matthew stared blankly at where Ivan had sat, "Désolé Ivan…ne pas aller…séjour.." He spoke softer than usual. He was used to being left, America, England, France, would only welcome brief visits to his home. Half the time he was either invisible or forgotten by them. This short amount of time Ivan had not looked past him, as if he had disappeared the way his family did a lot, or asked what his name had been a second time. Biting back the longing to call the Russian back, he let out a soft whimper watching Ivan disappear from view.
"Who?" a small voice said, drawing his attention to the yawning bear.
"I-I'm Canada, Your owner." Matthew gently pat the bears head. It was best to leave too, holding his bear he paid the bill and walked out.
Still gently snowing, Mathew held the bear closer to warm himself up a bit, which received a fidgety Kumajiro trying to get comfortable. Looking at Ivan's disappearing shoeprints in the snow, he wondered where Ivan went. He wanted to stay with the Russian longer, but, also to check if he'd still remember him. Ignoring the pestering thought in his mind not to follow the Russian, he began to quickly follow the trail of footprints that were slowly disappearing.
After a good ten minutes, he came to an end. In front of him, Matthew looked up at an aging pub sign, of course. He had almost forgotten Ivan was a drinker. Looking at Kumajiro, he didn't like the idea of taking him inside. Putting the bear down, he softly spoke "Stay here okay. Don't go anywhere Kumchai." Kumajiro yawned but nodded, "Okay." Matthew watched his tiny polar bear sit beside an old bench, blending in with the snow. Matthew began to reject the idea of going in the pub but shook the thought out of his head. He swallowed his slight fear and walked into the pub…
; _ ; i iz first time fanfic writer i hope the first chapter is any good...i love this couple... 3
once again i own nothing, exept the fanfic thingy :P
i fail at this = w =lllll