AN: Hey there, the author here.

So, I have recently fallen into the fandom of Homestuck. And to be honest, I don't want to get out of it.
And therefore, I've decided to write a story based on the Stabdad AU, but hopefully taking a bit more from the Noir genre than the usual stories based on the same AU.

And of course, I too has been shanghaied into the shipping war, so romance is definitely going to have it's place in the story.
So, at the end of this chapter, I'll place a list of ships most prominent in the story.

Anyway, I don't own any part of Homestuck, and I praise Hussie for what he has created.

Chapter 1: The legislacerator

Death's gamble. That's what people from outside the city of Schwarz-port liked to call it. And boy were they right, the city had one of the highest death rates in the entire region, if not the entire country.
Not because the city was poor or anything, quite the contrary. The seventh largest city in Deresite was one of the most well fed, well sustained, and well educated cities there was. No, the high death toll was an effect of the professions a fair share of the population had.
Theft, smuggling and gambling were just a few occupations these people took, and most of them knew how to do their job quite well. It wasn't for no reason that Schwartz-port was known as the second law's city, or the city of the wicked law.
Philosophically speaking, a lot of these activities wasn't seen as evil. Most deresic people would probably be confused by Prospitian concepts like 'moral' and their perception of crime. If a person stole something from you, that obviously meant they wanted it more than you wanted it. And if you indeed wanted it back, you'd just have to steal it back. Nice and simple.
Of course, this had been long before a series of gruesome murders almost 69 sweeps ago, or roughly 150 years as humans would put it, had left the public in mass hysteria. Before the first official serial killer, only known as "The ripper" had gone through several towns killing as he saw fit.
There had been no motives for his crimes, no point or statement to the public, no specific target of vengeance, he had just done it. The only identification was the sheer scale of his crimes, and the fact they were heading towards the capital, until they suddenly stopped. Facts which left even the monarchs trembling in fear.
Thus, in order to protect the civilian population against such horrors, the deresic police had been founded, as an attempt to quell the nightmare before it would ever be borne.

The police force was divided in three units. All of which serving a critical role in the protection of the deresic public.
The first unit, the preservanitors, was known as the defensive unit. They were tasked with securing and protecting civilians whenever a threat was presented, and to help maintain order in peoples' everyday life. A job which encompassed everything from making sure the traffic was properly maintained, to stop a fire or a gunfight. They were usually a kind bunch who wanted to protect people from harm, and usually lived nice, simple, and comfortable lives.
The second unit, the detentionvisors, were known as the preventing unit. They were tasked with trying to prevent dangerous situations from ever occurring. A job which boiled down to two distinct parts, maintenance of the deresic prisons, and analysing criminals so as to get a better understanding of their habits and development.
They were for the most part a secretive and odd bunch of fellows, finding interests where few else would.
And last but not least, the final unit known as the legislacerators or the offensive unit. They were the ones in charge of making sure criminals who had broken the law were brought to justice. They were the investigators, the prosecutors and the taskforces of Prospit all in one. Once a legislacerator was tasked with a crime, they would search creak and corner for evidence, build a strong case, hunt down and arrest the criminal, and present the whole thing in court.
Of all the people working in the deresic police force, they were the most glorified. Praised by the public, feared by the lower class of criminals, and according to the papers, in some sort of metaphorical kissmesis-ship with the higher class of criminals.

They were the defenders of the weak, the preservers of society, the justice system of Deresite, and they had been the aspirations of Terezi Pyrope all her life.
Terezi herself wasn't sure when she began dreaming about joining the deresic police. But if she had to take a guess, she would say that one evening when she was a little girl, and her dad, a detentionvisor in the notorious prison Grey Dime, had caught her reading through one of the files about inmates in said prison. Instead of scolding her however, he had just taken her and the book into the living room, and began telling her stories about all the faces in the book, most of whom he had met himself during some of his guards.
He told her about Mellow Hair-pinner, a burglar who had broken into the national museum, stolen a bunch of jewels, lead a car chase through most of the city all night and crashed into a warehouse before he was turned in.
He told her about Cassadon Deblound, who broke into the police headquarters and kidnapped the late chief without getting noticed. He then tied the him upside down to the top of the mast on a ship and demanded a sum 500.000 boondollars in ransom, only to throw the chief into the water and turn himself in, once the legislacerators actually arrived. Needless to say, the chief had not been happy when he found out his captor had done it just for the heck of it, and had resigned only a month later.

Terezi had swallowed every story wholeheartedly, and as the years went by, she still held onto her dream and began studying law. She might not have been the best student, but she was enthusiastic, and she passed her exams at the age of 22 with a pretty impressive score, before she went straight to the police so as to take her rightful place among the legislacerators.
She had long since decided she wanted to join the legislacerators rather than any other branch of the police, partially because she always had a nose for finding odd details, but also because she wanted adventures like neither of the two other departments could give her. She didn't want to be handing out blankets to civilians and maintain safety perimeters, nor did she want to be rehabilitating criminals and just listen to their stories. She wanted to be out in the field, hot in heels of dangerous criminals and bring them to justice herself.
There had been a short period of time where she hadn't been given any respect, but that had changed completely after the Sagharsh case, which had turned her into the department's hero. The great Terezi Pyro who had let her team of investigators to the stolen Sagharsh statuette, and single-handedly had taken down the notorious and dangerous thief, Crossvvord.
So now, at the humble age of twenty-five, she had become renowned, honoured and admired among the rest of her peers. The chief herself had given her a medal, she was-

"Oi, Pyrope?" a sharp voice barked, "Are ye here lass?"
Terezi woke from her daydream with a startled yelp and almost dropped the pen she had been doodling in her notebook with on the floor.
She looked up, took a short whiff and was greeted with the smell of tobacco crossed with sharp aftershave she had expected. How long had he been talking to her?
She quickly closed her notebook and aimed her full attention at her captain. "Sorry sir, you was saying?"
The captain of Terezi's squad Hatton Anurry, or as Terezi liked to call him 'captain Hat on and Hurry', shook his head in mild amusement and repeated.
"Me and a couple of the lads were talking about going down on the pub down on Fevenry-road to celebrate the end of the election, and we were wondering whether or not ye wanted to tag along."
Terezi turned her head back towards the paper on her desk, an arrest order one of her colleges had assigned her covering minor charge against a young female troll who had been caught trying to leave council member Terripoff's mansion through a window carrying most of his silverware in her bag, and suppressed a sigh.
"Just go ahead guys." she said, "I'll be there as soon as I've finished this."
The captain nodded in understanding. "Of course, ye just get there whenever it suits ye." He and the rest of the investigators got up and headed outside.
"We'll save you a cherry dough-ring!" One of them shouted just as the door closed behind them, leaving Terezi alone in the empty room.
She looked at the door for a couple of seconds, before she let out another sigh and returned to her work.
Who was she trying to kid anyway. No matter how much daydreaming she did, it wouldn't change the fact that she not only was one of the newbies in the department, but also blind and therefore, in her superiors' eyes, meant to be kept away from harm's reach. It didn't matter how much she said she could work perfectly well using her ability to see with her other senses. As long as she couldn't prove it without a shred of doubt, the only work she was ever given was filling out paperwork whenever another legislacerator arrested someone, but so far no possibility had shown itself, and it was slowly killing her on the inside. She was metaphorically drowning in paperwork.
With one last stroke of her pen she finished the arrest order, got out of her chair, skilfully manoeuvred around the desks of her colleges, and was on her way towards the main body of the department.

Department 7, located on 45-Edgestreet, was by far the biggest of all the departments in Schwartz-port, and consisted of not only a legislacerator-office but also a preservanitor office, training grounds for field-duty, a large medical facility, morgue, the largest communication central in the city, and the office of none other than the chief of police herself.
The chief of police was tasked with all the most important of the dull paperwork Terezi loathed. It was her job to assign tasks to the various officers, work out the budget for the entire corps, and all paperwork had get her approval before being delivered.
Terezi had planned on just leaving the paper on her desk and get going, but as she got closer she heard the sound of someone arguing inside the office. And one them judging by the voice, was the chief of police.
"No, no, no!" the other voice, withered and hoarse, cried, "I've had enough of this horrorwork. I'm out!"
"Come on Jannos," the chief said, "I know it might seem hopeless right now, but everything will turn out alright. You'll manage."
"Not with that guy." Jannos retorted, "I've tried everything. I played nice cop with him for four damn hours straight, and the only thing I got out of it was an expanded vocabulary of profanities. And when I tried to play bad cop and rough him up a bit, he stabbed me! See, right there in the shoulder."
"How the hell did he get hold of a knife anyway?"
"Apparently, he hid it in one of his boots and- Hang on a minute, that's not the point!"
"So what is the point?"
"The point is that I quit the case. I'm out. Too old for this. Good luck finding someone who'll take it."
The door was flung open with a loud slam, and legislacerator Jannos Nowell stormed of muttering curses under his breath.
The chief let out a sight. "Just come in Miss Pyrope."
Terezi said nothing, but closed the door behind her as she stepped into the office.
"Problems, ma'am?" she asked.
The chief shook her head, "No, no, nothing you should concern yourself with. I'm just a bit annoyed with one of our cases, that's all."
Terezi took another step forward and placed the arrest order on the chief's desk.
"Which case?" She asked.
The chief huffed, took the order and a long elegant pen from her desk, and began writing the necessary signatures.
"Six days ago, a warehouse down at the port broke out in fire. And with that a large stockpile of weapons owned by the Marksman-union." she elaborated, her eyes fixed on the paper as if it was responsible for all her troubles, "We believe the responsible party is no other than the midnight crew. Sure you've heard of that lot."
Terezi nodded. Who hadn't heard about that group. One of the four major players in Schwartz-port, along with the late Felt, Kreuger-corp and their long-time rivals the Splints. Each of them had their own distinctive style, and if something in Schwartz-port blew up, the odds of the midnight crew being involved weren't worth betting against.
"Well, as part of the new mayor's campaign for election, he promised to make the streets safe to walk again, at any time of the day." the chief went on, "Which unfortunately, means a whole lot of overwork for us."
Finishing the formula with a swift stroke of her pen, she got out of her chair, and began pacing up and down the room in excitement.
"With the evidence we've collected over the decades, along with the incident at the harbour, we finally got enough evidence to make a solid case against the leader of the midnight crew, Spades Slick as he calls himself. This should be as easy as strolling down west harbour-lane during a midweek sale."
She smashed her hand into her desk, toppling over a glass on her table. "Except we can't find that crimson-blooded spawn of a horror-terror!" her breathing was getting erratic, as she turned back to the large map of the city hanging on the wall, "We've looked everywhere! All their known hangouts, all their casinos, literally everywhere! It's as if he has just vanished from the surface of Skiran. And when we finally get hold of someone who might know where he is, the kid won't talk!"
Terezi straightened her back, slightly uncomfortable with hearing her chief spilling what sounded alarmingly like caliginous feelings towards a mobster everywhere. But if what she was hearing was true, she might have found her ticket away from the paperwork, at least for a while.
"If I may be so bold ma'am." she said, "maybe I can be of assistance? I am a fully trained legislacerator after all and-"
"Miss Pyrope we have been over this before." The chief said with a groan as she sat down again, "Do to your… disability, I do not think it would be responsible of me to put you into fieldwork. Who knows what-"
"I know…" Terezi said, "But this is an interrogation, not field work, and we don't have time to find another legislacerator. According to paragraph 17 article b, an arrest without any charges can only be maintained for 24 hours. There's already gone at least 4 hours, and you can't be sure when the next free legislacerator reports back. And if someone does check in, they'll have an uncertain amount of time to be assigned the case, get briefed, and get something out of a reluctant witness. If I take the case now, I can read through the briefing at home, and start the interrogation as soon as I get to work tomorrow." At this point, she was practically on her knees begging.
"Please, please, please, please, pleeease, I can do it. I know I can."
The chief chuckled. "Well, can't deny I like your enthusiasm." She said, as she scooped up all the papers on her desk and placed them in a neat pile next to her computer, "And even though I could easily just call one of the other legislacerators on their home-number, you're right. It is just an interrogation, I think you should be capable of taking care of this."
Terezi's heart skipped a beat as she got up from the floor.
"So that means?"
The chief smiled. "It certainly does. The case is yours."
Terezi cried out in joy. She had a case, she had a case! She couldn't wait to tell the guys.
"But!" The chief said, "You're only assigned the interrogation. As soon as you get anything out of him, someone else will take over."
Terezi tried to look at her with her most serious face, but failed to keep back a smile revealing far too many razor-sharp teeth.
"Understood, ma'am."
"Good." the chief nodded. She took a case file off her table and handed it to Terezi, "Now go home and get some rest, you got a big day ahead of you."
Terezi saluted, got out of the office, sprinted down the hallway so fast her nose barely had time to register whenever she was close to colliding with something, got her things packed, grabbed her cane and umbrella, and was off to tell her friends the great news.

One of the good things the lack of moral high ground had caused, was the general respect the police force and the criminals had towards each other. And because of that, they had somehow developed a certain kind of rules for fair sport. One of which was that homes, bar, and places of relaxation were off limits for both parties. An agreement which suited both the police and criminals just fine.
Terezi and her friends had always preferred the pub known as the Roasted Bean, a special place close to the police station they had all been introduced to by their captain when they joined the squad, so it was no surprise to her when she arrived at the place to find them at their usual table.
"Hey guys." She called, easily getting across the room in long strides.
"Well, well, well. Look who finally decided to show up." The lean, skinny troll with ponytail and green eyes named Ethon said, "finished polishing the chief's boots early?"
"Knock it off Eth," Ethon's moirail, a good-natured, yellow-blooded troll called Jerz, said. "Tez's just trying to do her job right. Like you ought to do yourself."
Ethon shrugged, "Nah… If I did that you'd be out of a job."
The friends laughed, before the captain stood up.
"Right, I was 'bout to go give me and the lads' orders. What 'bout ye lass?"
Terezi looked at him with a smile. "I'll take a cup of latté with a cherry dough-ring at the side. Actually, make that two. Got something to celebrate today."
"What? Apart from finally getting done with the election?" Jerz asked.
"Not because that isn't a reason to celebrate." Ethon muttered, "I swear, if I have to clear up one more assassination attempt this month I'm gonna…"
Ignoring Ethon, the captain was about to nod at Terezi, then remembered she couldn't see it and instead gave her a gentle pat on the shoulder before he went over to get their orders.
Terezi sat down, and took a long whiff of the atmosphere surrounding her. This was how life was supposed to be lived. A nice, warm pub to hang out in, a bunch of nice smells in her nostrils, a good and thrilling case to work with, and a bunch of good friends to share it all with.

They were an odd lot of friends, and she had to admit, only reason most of them had ever met in the first place was because of the captain. Not that she was complaining or anything.
They were six in total, all currently mashed together around the table in their usual seats.
To her left sat Ethon. He and Jerz were a legislacerator team, building upon both Jerz's keen eye for details and Ethon's quick thinking during their investigations, gunfights and pub quizzes.
Next to Ethon sat Pete. A human legislacerator who specialized in forensic assistance rather than actual investigation. He was one of the oldest in the group, only second to the captain, and the two made a habit of telling their younger friends thrilling tales about all the cases they had been on.
Then there was Twizz who worked in the communication central. He was by far the calmest guy in the group, as one would expect from someone who dealt with scared civilians every day. He also auspiced for a pair of his other friends, although the rest of the gang had never met them.
He sat next to Jerz on the opposite side of the table, along with Dave. Dave was the only one in the group who worked in the preservanitor department, and spend most of his time when he wasn't on 'partroll duty' with his partner writing songs. He claimed his songs were super popular among the right people, but had so never let any of them see his work.
And finally, there was Jeff. Jeff was, by all definitions of the word, peculiar. He was the third oldest in the group, worked in the training grounds as a supervisor, and had just sort of always been there for most of them. Usually he was a kind and quiet person, but sometimes he would just freeze in the middle of an action, almost as if he was reliving a bad memory. However, whenever Terezi or the others asked about it, they would just get told that Jeff had suffered greatly a long time ago.
This had led to some wild theories among the friends. Jerz thought that Jeff had been part of a legislacerator special-squad, but had resigned after some traumatic accident. Pete believed that he had been a detentionvisor, and had been caught during the riot in the prison Bleakyard seven years ago, causing him much mental distress. Terezi held her cents on the idea that Jeff had suffered some tragic accident in his private life, which had worn heavily on his psyche. While both Dave and Ethon proudly swore, that Jeff had been part of the very first Legilacerator team searching for the Ripper, although that hopefully wasn't a serious guess.
Still, Jeff was a nice friend, and Terezi wouldn't bother him with something that might be hurting.

"So Tez," Twizz asked, "what is it you're celebrating? Did old long-grip decide to paint our office red?"
"I'll tell you all when Hatton gets back." Terezi replied grinning. "It's a surprise. He he he he he."
The guys looked suspiciously at her, but chose to let it slide and returned to their previous discussion.
"So what about you Dave?" Pete asked, "Your thoughts on the new mayor."
Dave shrugged. "I like him." He said, "Guy seems honest about his promises, and he just generally seems like a nice guy. He got my vote."
"He's too naive." Twizz said, "I'm telling you, the guy will be wrapped around the little finger of one of the houses within a month. Only question is, which one?"
"Don't judge the book by its cover Twizz." Terezi warned, "I've heard he's a war veteran. He might be harder to break than you think."
"Well said Tez." Pete said with approval, "and you, Jeff?"
Jeff sighed, "Honestly. I think no matter which candidate won the election, we'd still end up getting overwork. At least this guy sounds like he'll give us credit when credit is due."
"Augh, lighten up a bit will ya." Ethon said, "you sound like you're attending your own funeral."
Jeff looked at him with a slight grin. "I would think I'd be a bit quieter to my own funeral."
Ethon was about to talk back, but his attention was caught by the sight of the captain coming back with the pint he ordered.
"Here ya go everyone." Hatton said as he passed around the orders, "A pint of elder-willow to Ethon, a sprinkling-cider to Pete, a coffee with a slice of black derse licorice cake to Jerz, apple juice to Dave, camilla tea to Jeff, latté and a cherry dough-ring to Terezi, old scottie's favourite to Twizz, and a black-drop to me."
Terezi eagerly took her order and sniffed lovingly to the ring formed pastries on the plate. Much to the amusement of her friends.
"You know, Jerz?" Ethon said, "You remember that batch of rubies that went missing? Did we ever look for them at Tez's place?"
Jerz chuckled. "You'd be wasting your time Eth. If Tez had stolen those rubies they'd be swallowed by now."
"No kidding." Dave added, "Tez is like a black hole for anything unfortunate enough to bear any of the scarlet colours. She'll devour them like a dragon would do to whatever fool who dares disturbing its slumber."
"Careful Strider," Terezi warned grinningly, "or you might get bitten yourself. I know for a fact that all humans have delicious candy-blood running through their veins."
Dave shrugged. "Whatever you say, maniac."
Jerz shook his head and took a sip of his coffee before he turned to Terezi. "So Tez," he asked, "what is it you're celebrating?"
Terezi smiled, eager to share the news. "Okay, listen. So a little while after you guys left the office, I was heading towards the chief's office when I heard shouting. Turns out to be Nowell, who's just dropped a case because of a difficult witness or something like that. I talk with the chief and-"
"Wait, Tez." Ethon said, "Are you saying that…"
"Thats right. I got myself my very first interrogation. Tomorrow, I'll be in the interrogation-cells trying to wrestle the whereabouts of Jack Noir out of some poor sap."
For a few seconds, everyone around the table was silent. Then, Ethon's face split into a wide grin.
"Why would you look at that." He said, patting Terezi on the back, "Our little Tez is growing up and everything,"
"He's right." Jerz nodded, "This will be your debut into the lines of experienced legislacerators. Welcome to the club."
"Nice done, Tez" Dave said.
"I'm so proud." Twizz said with a smile, while wiping an imaginary tear off his chin.
Hatton however, had gone very quiet.
"So, the chief has set her aim on Spades Slick has she." he muttered, "Then we better prepare ourselves for a storm."
Seeing the confused looks his younger subordinates were giving him, he went on.
"Most of ye rarely comes in the preservanitor-office, and I'm pretty sure ye don't hang out with the older lot Dave, but I got a couple of friends there. And they'd be able to tell you some pretty chilling stories about the last time the houses went to war. And what kind of people it created."
A silent gloom spread among the friends, as if a horror-terror had decided to pay them extra attention. The sun had set, leaving them with only the artificial light of the pub and the street light outside to expose the otherwise dark corners, and the heavy clouds which had been hanging over the city the whole day had begun raining during their discussion.
Hatton probably felt the heavy atmosphere, and decided to change the topic.
"But that's not a story for today. Today, we celebrate." He stood up, "I would like a toast. To Terezi."
"To Terezi!" the friends cheered.
Terezi looked at them graciously. A feeling of comfort and joy bubbling inside her.
"You ought to tell your old man, ye know." Hatton said, "if someone deserves to know this sort of stuff, its him."
"I know." Terezi said. "I already told him, and we've decided to meet up here after work tomorrow.
"Well then." Hatton said. "Not much more to tell ya but to enjoy the evening, so do that."
Terezi smiled. "Yes, sir."

AN: If you're reading this, it means that either you have read through the chapter, or you merely skipped down to this point. If you decided to read the chapter, then I hope you enjoyed it. If you did please review, as it might help encouraging me to finish the next chapter faster.
Also, I would really like to hear your ideas and inputs to this story, as it might give me some useful ideas to use in the story. And if you have any questions, please feel free to ask.

Until next time.

P.S. Here is the list of ships I talked about.

Karkat X Terezi
Dave X Jade
Sollux X Aradia
Slick X Snowman
Rose X Kanaya
Eridan X Roxy
John X Vriska