Well, even though I can't get anything on fanfic to work right now- thanks for that, internet… I guess I'll just write up some more random crap about Pitch and Jack…

This… weirdness… has been entirely based off of The Little Mermaid… None of this idea is mine. I don't own Jack, I don't own Pitch, I don't own Rise of the Guardians, I don't own anything. (Because if I did, there'd be a heck of a lot more BlackIce in ROTG. (Jus' sayin'…)

Lost Your Voice

"If you want to get your powers and your life back, you're going to have to kiss a prince, or a king, whichever you can find willing to do the job."

Jack Frost chewed his lower lip in frustration as he remembered what the witch had said to him. Find a prince. Find a king. Then not only will your voice come back, but your powers. All Jack was able to do right now was control the wind and have it fly him around.

"But he has to be royalty by blood, babe, otherwise there's no deal. Honestly, these days they'll make anyone a prince…"

He had been looking for months now. It sucked having to see everyone and not being able to speak. How did Sandy do it?

The most uncomfortable part had been when he explained what he had to do to get his powers back after being cursed by a witch. Bunny wouldn't let up on how Jack had to turn gay as fuck for days.

Jack had enlisted the help of his pall Jamie. The kid would give him books upon books from the library with lists of royal families. He would find them, find the males, and kiss all of them. Nothing worked. He still couldn't talk or make snow. And he had gone through at least thirty separate families!

He sat, waiting for the witch. He already had a sign with words on it to hold out and show her. When he spotted her, he smacked his staff against the roof of the house that was his perch six times and held the sign up.

She grinned as she read it. "What the fuck lady. I've kissed like eighty guys already, and they were all blood royals."

Sauntering over to the frozen spirit, she hissed, "You have to get them to kiss you for real, Jack… It has to be a kiss of true, real love…" Jack threw his hands in the air, tossing the sign in anger. None of those men had been able to see him- they were all too old. So she was insinuating he make out with a kid who could see him? Haha, no. Jack was no pedophile.

Flipping her the bird, Jack flew off and went to North's to relay his newfound knowledge. The jolly man listened and offered up a few ideas, but none of them sounded any good to Jack. Maybe he'd have to find another way to break this curse.

He asked North if he had any way of knowing stuff about dark magic. "No, but I'm sure Pitch vould," he said, "He is expert on all fings dark…" Jack nodded and took a plank of wood from North's workshop. He painted words across it in shimmery blue paint and used his wind to dry it.

Leaving with one final nod, Jack flew with his sign to the lair of the Boogeyman. Walking down the corridor of stalactites and stalagmites, Jack glanced from side to side carelessly. If Pitch attacked him he would have no way to defend himself, but he didn't feel worried about that. He assumed Pitch would find him as no threat and just let him go.

Walking into the big room he knew well, Jack wandered across bridge after bridge, trying to figure out where he could find the dark spirit. He ended up in front of the globe, all dotted with lights. He gently touched the light representing Jamie, smiling as it flickered blue for a second before returning to its yellow glow.

"Well, well, Jack Frost," a sudden low, smooth voice behind him cooed, "To what do I owe this surprise visit…?"

Jack spun around and stared at Pitch- the taller male towered over him just three feet away. Swallowing, Jack held up his sign. Pitch read it slowly before his gaze returned to the boy.

"You were cursed by a witch?" he asked, looking almost angry. Jack nodded. "And she told you how to break it, yet here you are looking for another way out…"

Jack scowled. Holding out a hand, Jack expected Pitch to understand. When he just looked at him, Jack motioned to the board, flipping it to the blank side and pretended to write. Pitch nodded and soon Jack found a black sandy brush form in his palm. As he wrote, the sand stuck in the shape of his letters.

"I tried kissing kings and princes. The bitch didn't tell me it had to be a real kiss. Not just me kissing them. None of them could see me…"

Pitch chuckled. "Do you think it wise to trust me to help you?" he asked, smirking at the helpless guardian.

Jack wiped the black sand away and wrote out, "I didn't know who else to go to for help…"

Pitch sighed. He approached the boy and walked him into another room. It was full of books. He took one from a shelf and began thumbing through the pages. He muttered, "I've got a few that might be able to help…" Jack didn't care what else he had to do- so long as he could make snowballs again.

They spent hours trying all the other remedies Pitch had in all of his books. Seven books were piled on a chair across from them. The two were sitting on a couch in Pitch's library- Jack fuming he was so angry, Pitch just trying to think of more ways to fix the problem.

Jack had a big, ugly bruise on his cheek after one failed attempt, and several cuts and bruises were hidden under his hoodie. But they had all been for naught. None of them yielded even the slightest of results.

"I have to admit," Pitch grumbled to himself more than to Jack, "That's some strong spell…" Jack blew out cold air and scowled angrily at the floor.

His arms were folded over his knees as he pouted. This was a bunch of BS. Why did that bitch have to curse him? What the hell had he done to deserve this? His center was being sapped with his inability to grant the children fun…

Sitting up straight, Pitch grumbled, "Well, I suppose there's no other way…" Jack looked at him, still frowning angrily, but curious nonetheless. Turning to him, Pitch reached his hands out and said, "C'mere, Jack…"

He pulled the boy's face in toward his and Jack gasped as their lips met. Pitch's tongue intruded his mouth, and Jack slapped him away in disgust.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" he shouted at Pitch. Suddenly Jack gasped, touching his lips. Looking at his hands, Jack tapped his staff to the floor- frost immediately blooming out from the point of impact. He gasped again, staring up at Pitch in absolute shock.

Smirking, Pitch said, "King of Nightmares, Jackie…"

The blue eyed boy blushed deeply before jumping into the air, pumping his fists excitedly, and then jumping back down and pulling Pitch in for another steamy kiss. The darker male was a little shocked by Jack's sudden insistence, but happily accepted the freezing tongue into his mouth.

When they separated, Jack squeaked happily, "Thank you! Thank you, thank you, thank you!" He hugged Pitch tight before flying up and coating the entire lair in snow. Pitch watched Jack's celebration. He flew back to the Boogeyman, giving him one last little peck on the lips before flying out.

Pitch could hear his cheers echoing off the walls.

Jack hopped down in front of Jamie, throwing a snowball right into his face. "GOTCHA!" he shouted, laughing hysterically.

"Jack!" Jamie squealed, "You got your powers back!"

"YUP!" Jack replied, spinning and letting snow spin around him.

"How?" Jamie asked with an eager bounce.

Jack stopped and blushed deeply. "Well…" he started. But he wasn't sure what to say…

"I uh…" he fumbled, rubbing the back of his neck with a dark blush across his face, "I kissed Pitch…"

Jamie blinked a few times before grinning slyly. Jack pouted at him, shouting what repeatedly.

With a snicker, Jamie said, "You're so gay…" Jack threw a snowball right in between his eyes.

And that was my weirdness for tonight.