Chapter 1 with tired eyes I wept

I NOT OWN ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There was nothing more he wanted then to see her smile or hear the softness in her sweat voice. They were all fading from his mind. It has been to long for him. They needed to be a family again but it was his fault that they were apart.

Nathan got up from the chair he was sitting in, that was crammed into the corner of an empty café, were she use to work. There were so many memories there that he could just look at it, the building, and feel her presence with him. He drooped his head as he picked up his jacket. as he opened the glass door to leave, he looked back at the counter where she had often stood before. For a secant Nathan could swore he saw her standing there smiling at him. He couldn't help but to smile back at the imagined Haley.

As he walked down the street, the leave crumbled beneath his size fourteen feet. The chilling wind his hair around just like with the brown leaves. As he walked he listened to the wind as if it was talking to him. Most people around town called him crazy. He couldn't say they were wrong. He hasn't been his best self since he day she left, one year ago.

Tears clouded Nathan's vision. He lifted his large hands to wipe the tears away from his breathe taking blue eyes. He could have any girl in town but chose to be lonely then to move on to some other women that was not her. He is only twenty-two years old but he has been in love with her for almost six and a half years. That was to long of a period for him to just forget about her, the women he once called his beloved wife.

On his way to his home, if you could even call it a home, it was big and empty, he came across a store that him and Haley went to on their eventful first official date. He turned to gaze through the store window. He was wearing the vary socks she had bought him that day. More tears filled his eyes as he remembered that the gold, silk nightdress with the floral print the had bought her was bunched up and hidden in the back of his dresser. It was one of the few things he had left of her.

Nathan opened his door slowly listening to it squeal as if it was in pain from missing her too. He looked forward to see his mother and his young son and daughter sitting at the island in the deserted kitchen. He made the few steps towards them and kissed each one of their checks. Nathan stood their watching his children as they reminded him so much of their mother. He turned his gaze to his mother to thank her without speaking one unneeded word.

Deb, his mother kissed her son's check to say goodbye. She rubbed Jamie's blonde hair and hugged little Bethany that was the spitting image of Haley when she was younger. Nathan sat across from his children with tired eyes from tears he cried earlier. He herd a mumble form little Jamie and lifted his head to look at him instead of his folded hands. He knew Jamie missed his mother and Bethany was to young to remember her mother that well. Their was nothing Nathan could do but hope one day they could be a family again.

Nathan glanced at the yellow card envelope in Jamie's tiny hands. He recognized the swirls in the hand writing. Jamie must of too 'cause he was holding on to it for dear life, though he had trouble reading. He had his mother's brains but he didn't always choose to use them. Nathan sighed as he stretched his long arm across the island to take the card from Jamie. Nathan opened the envelope to reveal an original Haley hand written letter.

"Momma." Jamie's soft voice just like hers said.

"Momma?" Bethany asked as if she would be seeing her mother for the first time right then and there.

"Haley." Nathan whispered ignoring his emotional children.

Nathan's eyes skimmed the letter eyeing every swirl of her writing. He stood one hand on the letter the other on the island holding him up. He hasn't heard from Haley in over eight long lonesome months. He held the tears back not wanting his children to think of him as weak. He put the letter back into the envelope without even reading it, and stuffed it into the pocket of his dark blue jeans. He looked back at Jamie his eyes hungry for answers no one had. Nathan dropped his head back down to look at the marbled counter top as he tapped his fingers softly on it.

Bethany started to hum a tune he often caught Haley humming in the quite mornings before the kids awoke. His eyes flew up to look at her in amassment that she did remember a part of her mother. A slight smile appeared on his frown full face, as he remembered the day she came up with that song. It was the vary day she told him she was pregnant with his adorable little Bethany.

(Flashback)

She woke tired from tossing and turning all night. Yawning she turned to look at the clock. It would be another hour before it would go off and Nathan would even consider getting up. She carefully removed herself from the covers and walked to the bathroom trying not to wake Nathan. Her stomach was tossing and turning as to tell her something was not right with her. She opened the creaky medicine cabinet and removed a hidden box of toothpaste. She slowly opened the tabs and reached inside to pull out the pregnancy test she hid in there.

Nathan rolled over and swung his arm to wrap it around his beautiful wife. His eyes fluttered open realizing she was not there. He propped himself up on one of his elbows as he glanced around the empty room for her. Nathan could see the light coming from the bathroom. He mound as he struggle to get out of bed. As he walked slowly towards his gray sleeveless shirt he couldn't help but to scratch the back of his head messing up even more of his raven black hair.

He pulled the shirt on listening to her hum a new tune from the bathroom. He slowly made his way to the door and leaned up against the door frame. He watched her pace around the room fidgeting with her figures. Nathan cleared his throat to let her know he was there. She jumped at the noise but gave a small smile realizing who was standing there.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you? I tried to be quite." She spoke as if she was pleading to him, though she had no need to.

"No. is that a new song you're working on?" Nathan asked rubbing his still tired eyes. Haley stared at him, she hadn't realized she was humming but yet remembered the tune.

"What are you doing up so early?" Nathan asked looking up at the clock above the bathroom sink.

Haley looked down at the floor trying to piece together what to tell him. She could remember how he walked out the last time she was pregnant. Haley razed her eyes back to Nathan still not saying anything. A beeping started on her watch that broke their gaze.

"It's ready." Haley whispered to her scared self. Nathan looked at her with confusion in his pure eyes. Haley jester towards the edge of the bathtub where she had set the pregnancy test. Nathan moved as in slow motion to pick it up and read it.

"Positive." he said with a shaky voice. Haley had tears streaming down her face. She was overjoyed with having another child with the man she desperately loves, but scared to death for a another walk out.

Haley walked right into Nathan's strong muscular arms and sobbed.

"Please don't leave me alone again." she cried into his firm chest. Nathan tilted his head slightly down to look at her, for the words she had just spoke caught him of guard.

"Why would I leave you? I promised to always protect you, didn't I?" Nathan questioned her.

"That didn't stop you last time with James." she said backing out of his embrace. Nathan looked down at his frighten wife, with anger flickering in his bright eyes. He held it back, as much as he wanted to yell at her he just couldn't, not when she was scared because of their past. All she wanted to know was if history was going to repeat itself. The anger disappeared from Nathan's eyes as he continued to look at his wife. This time he actually looked at her noticing the yellow tank top with lace around the caller, and small straps that show her brown bra straps. He noticed the little bit of skin that showed in-between the shirt and her pink, fluffy pajama pants that had little flying pigs on it. He saw her toe nails of the color purple and her hair in a loose bun. He felt guilty to of made her scared about having his child.

Nathan dropped his head as he often did when he wasn't proud of himself. He grabbed Haley and pulled her to him. She fit so perfectly in his arms, as a puzzle.

"I will be here this time. I'm not going anywhere." He whispered into her ear calming her slightly down. She started to hum the song she would eventually use to calm down her little girl when needed.

(flashback over)

Nathan came back to the present time in a snap when he heard the kids banging on the table. He looked at the watch on his right wrist to realize it was dinner time. Haley always had then eating at six O'clock. He turned around to open the new refrigerator covered in the art of the kids. He pulled out the leftover Mac 'n' Cheese he had cooked the night before.

"Haley." He whispered once more as familiar tears weld up in his redding eyes.