1. Bee Gone

One day, at the Decepticons base, Megatron was busy devising his latest scheme against his sworn enemies, the sight-for-sore-eyed Autobots. After about an hour of plotting, he was fed up for his chair that was supposed to befit his mightiness wasn't very comfortable and that blasted Starscream had done nothing about it for the past two weeks.

The Leader of the Decepticons was imagining suitable methods of punishment for his incompetent second-in-command when he was interrupted by an annoying sound. He sat up and frowned. The sound was suddenly gone but he was certain he had heard it.

'Starscream…Starscream!' Megatron called out.

'Yes, what is it?' Starscream entered the room. 'What do you want, you old…I mean, wise and mighty leader?'

Megatron gave a grunt. 'Tell me if you hear anything.'

At first Starscream looked confused. But then, he listened.

'Well?' Megatron prompted impatiently.

'Yes, I hear something…your voice!'

'Besides that, you idiot!' Megatron raised a clenched fist.

'The sound of my null ray ready to paralyze you…' Starscream mumbled.

'What was that?'

'Oh, I was just saying that the sound of your voice makes the universe tremble, great Megatron…'

'Heh heh, of course it does,' the Decepticon leader was gloating when something black flew to his face. 'Bah!' He beat at it and it buzzed off. 'It's a blasted bee! That was the sound I heard. Get it, Starscream!'

Starscream fired and missed. The bee merely continued to fly happily. He fired again and again but failed to hit the small, constantly moving target.

'Don't fire, you fool! Are you trying to bring down the whole base?' Megatron demanded. 'Must I teach you everything? The bee is but a tiny, inferior insect, one of many diminutive life-forms here on Earth. Squish it with your hands!'

Starscream went after the bee, trying to catch it futilely but the small insect easily had the upper hand over the big robot. Megatron sighed heavily. 'I ought to squish YOU with my hands, Starscream. Quit wasting time and destroy the bee!'

Starscream grumbled under his breath. He stopped to rest, trying to catch his breath as the bee buzzed up and down and all around him. 'I'm tired. Can I go now? I think this room is making me catastrophic…wait, that wasn't right, I mean, claustrophobic.'

Suddenly, the bee buzzed out of sight.

'It's getting away!' Megatron exclaimed. 'Must I do everything around here? Go after it, Starscream!'

The Decepticon second-in-command gave chase after the insect and crashed into Skywarp in the hallway. 'Get it! Get it!' He said as he shook Skywarp by the shoulders, rattling him.

'Huh? What in the name of the Allspark are you talking about?' Skywarp was confused.

'It's a bee. It's inside the base. Lord Megatron demands it to be destroyed!' Starscream said.

'Wow, how did a bee infiltrate our base? I mean, we're underwater,' Skywarp said.

There was a long silence as they stared at each other. Then Starscream narrowed his eyes. 'Don't ever ask me that again.'

'What's going on here?' Thundercracker wondered.

'Bee!' Starscream said, exasperated.

'Be what?' Thundercracker frowned, utterly confused.

'Not what, where…it's gone somewhere,' Starscream replied.

'Who's gone somewhere?'

'Bee, you nincompoop.'

'Be what?' Thundercracker threw up his hands.

'God, you are such an idiot,' Starscream said.

'Did I hear you say your name, Starscream?' Megatron sneered as he came up to them. 'Where is the bee?'

'It's gone, Megatron,' Starscream said.

'You fail me yet again, Starscream. Find it! I won't have the likes of a pathetic insect having the run of MY place.'

'But my Lord Megatron, don't we have more important things to do, like destroying Optimus Prime and the Autobots? Why waste our time and energon on a little bee??'

'You think you are wise, Starscream, but you are not. Imagine the ridicule that would befall us if others know that the Decepticons can't even get rid of a common bee. No, Starscream. I shall have to do this by myself,' Megatron clenched a fist. 'Now find that flying pest right now…!'

The Decepticon leader had just finished speaking when the bee buzzed in and circled his head. 'Argh!' Frustrated, Megatron fired his fusion cannon just as Starscream leapt out of the way.

'Megatron, Megatron, you almost killed me!' he gasped.

'Oh, Starscream, let us try to be civil and not make a big deal out of nothing.'

'Nothing?!' Starscream said in disbelief. 'Why you over-glorified piece of-'

'Look out!' Thundercracker warned and smacked Starscream on the face.

'What do you think you're doing?' Starscream demanded.

'I was trying to get the bee but it flew away. Oh hello, here it is…' Thundercracker swiped at Megatron's fusion cannon, slapping his arm and causing it to hit himself.

'Thundercracker, you blind fool, look at where you're hitting!' Megatron chided. But Thundercracker wasn't really listening to him.

'Ah, over here!' And he swiped Skywarp's leg, causing him to fall. 'No…no, it's gone again. Wait, it's here!' He pushed past Starscream who protested angrily. 'Nope…there! There! Hold everything…aha, it's right next to you again, Starscream, Now it's on the wall…on the floor…on the microwave…!'

Frustrated, Megatron hit Thundercracker hard. He fell and became quiet. 'Ah…finally some peace…'

'I still think we're wasting precious time here,' Starscream said with his shoulders slumped. 'It's only a stupid bee.'

'You'll be more stupid than the wee bee if you can't even catch it, Starscream,' Megatron frowned.

'Hehe, you said wee bee, Megatron. You made a rhyme,' Skywarp grinned.

'Shut up!' Megatron ordered. 'Argh, I am surrounded by more fools than I can count!'

'But there's only me and Starscream,' Skywarp said very thoughtfully. 'That makes two of us. It'll be three if you count yourself.'

'Be quiet, Skywarp before I dispose of you and turn you into a hair dryer,' Megatron said.

'Is something wrong, Lord Megatron?' Soundwave wondered as he came up to his fellow Decepticons. Then he stopped. 'What is Thundercracker doing on the floor?'

'Who…?' Megatron asked.

'Never mind, my Lord,' Soundwave batted a hand.

'We're looking for a pesky bee, Soundwave. It's really irritating,' Megatron complained.

'Hey, I have an idea. How about using Laserbeak to find the bee?' Starscream suddenly had a brilliant thought.

'And you've finally realized you've got a brain, Starscream,' Megatron said. 'Soundwave, release Laserbeak,'

Soundwave ejected his minion from his chest and the flying bird-like robot came to rest on his arm. 'Laserbeak, operation: find the intruder bee.'

His minion remained where it was, not responding to the command. 'What's wrong now?' Megatron asked.

'Laserbeak wishes to know if there will be any reward for him upon completion of the task,' Soundwave said.

'Oh, what does a stupid bird eat anyway?'

'He wants pumpkin pie,' Soundwave said. 'Specific identity: a type of questionable edible substance here on Earth but Laserbeak has seen it on the box humans called the TV once. A fat woman was making the recipe.'

'TV is very, very bad,' Starscream said.

'If Laserbeak succeeds, he shall be rewarded,' Megatron agreed.

'You dumb Decepticon, why are you promising the bird a pumpkin pie anyway?' Starscream frowned. 'First it's a bee, then some tin can of a Thundercracker got thrown to the floor and now a bird is asking for pumpkin pie! What is wrong with you?'

'No one ever tells me what to do, Starscream and no one most certainly calls me dumb!' Megatron said. 'I ought to send you floating into the oblivion of space where you'll be forgotten and I shall very much hope that you get sucked into a black hole and shrink to the size of an atom whereupon I'll take great pleasure in squishing you painfully.'

'Well, I hope your head grows in your sleep and then I'll pop it like a balloon, Pop goes Megatron!' Starscream laughed.

'The only pop you'll ever hear is the sound of my fusion cannon. Take that!' Megatron fired and Starscream quickly ducked and fired back. Chaos and confusion ensued suddenly; the Decepticon leader trying to strangle his annoying second-in-command, Skywarp wanting to join in but not sure whose side he should take and finally going for tic-tac-toe to decide, Starscream trying to make Megatron's helmet less shiny by scratching it, Thundercracker waking up only to be hit by Megatron's fusion cannon again and becoming unconscious and Soundwave wondering what pumpkin pie tasted like.

Just then, the bee flew in, buzzing along and Laserbeak, with one swift flight, went after it and gobbled it up. The chaos suddenly died and the Decepticons froze and stared at Laserbeak. The small flying robot merely flew to Soundwave's shoulder and gave a cry of victory.

A few astro-seconds later, Megatron, Soundwave and the Seekers comprising of Starscream, Skywarp and a now fully conscious Thundercracker, were in a supermarket, amidst other curious human shoppers.

'See? This is what happens when you go around promising pumpkin pie as a reward,' Starscream grumbled. 'We have to do earth shopping for ingredients!'

'Oh, stop shouting, Starscream, I didn't think that Laserbeak would be so competent and besides, let's not forget who made that ridiculous suggestion in the first place,' Megatron said before scowling. 'Blasted bird wants ME to make the pie! Stick around, Seekers. I may need a target to shoot at.'

'Are any of these things even edible?' Skywarp waved the shopping list. 'How did you get this, Soundwave?'

'The world wide web had all kinds of information, even the ones that are totally useless,' Soundwave explained.

'Wow, that makes perfect sense,' Thundercracker said, impressed.

'Argh, so has anyone found the pumpkin yet?' Starscream was impatient.

'Here is a picture of it,' Soundwave offered helpfully.

The other Decepticons came closer to look.

'It kind of looks like your head, Megatron,' Starscream said after a while.

'Oh, shut up, Starscream,' Megatron said and clobbered him.

~END~

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