So, I guess (and hope) that this means I'm "officially" back on the FanFiction map. I've been thinking about this concept for a long, long time. (Too long, really) And now that it's finally written, I'm a little nervous to see what you all will think.
I wrote a piece a long time ago, one called Out of Love. This is sort of that re-write, and redesign. I've had quite a while to think over what I did wrong with that fic, and quite a while to work on this introduction. I make no guarantees to how quickly I'll be able to update, but don't expect it to be soon.
A little disclaimer before you all begin reading and (hopefully) critiquing… I do not own the characters, or the plot lines of the Maximum Ride Series by JAMES PATTERSON. I do however "claim" the rights to my own additional characters. And without further ado, please, read and enjoy:
"As many times as I blink I'll think of you tonight…"
I'll think of you tonight
A low whimper escaped my lips out of habit. The day hadn't begun yet- I hadn't even opened my eyes to face the blinding light- and already I could feel the significance weighing heavily in the air.
"Morning," Fang said softly. I felt him draw me close, his calloused hands strong and reassuring against my back. His heartbeat was steady, with its rhythm powerful enough to calm even my own heart's erratic thrashes. We stayed like that for a little while, my body tangled up in his, my thoughts stuck to the events that brought us here, but eventually we had to return to the real world.
Fang began to scoot back, way too soon for my liking. I held onto his arms as if they would save my life, clutching them to my chest. Maybe if neither one of us moved, some of his strength would transfer over to me.
His tone was patient. Understanding. I hated it. "Max, I have to get ready. Please."
Though I needed him near me; next to me; I let go. It was not like me to be so clingy, nor was it like him to be so polite. Today was the exception for us both, but it wouldn't be long before our usual attitudes surfaced.
I sat up and stretched my legs out. I must have fallen asleep in the fetal position again. How embarrassing. "What's the rush?"
He had his back to me, but I could see his tension. It tightened the muscles around his shoulder blades, and made him stand straighter. "Did you forget?"
"Forget?" I repeated incredulously, "How dare you accuse me of forgetting!"
His eyebrows drew together, clearly displaying confusion. Then, before I could blink, he was standing next to me and his arms were around my waist, constricting me. "I wasn't talking about…" He shook his head, "That's impossible to forget."
"Then what the-" Suddenly his face was close to mine, his breath coming out in bursts. It took me a second to realize that he was laughing. Laughing, on a day like today!
"Graduation." To my wordless response, he smirked and added, "I graduate today. Kind of a big deal."
"Shit!" I cursed. Immediately my hands flew up to cover my mouth.
"Do you think she heard?" I whispered after a moment.
Frozen, Fang whispered back, "I think she's still asle-" And with a small flash she was there in our doorway, staring up at us with her big, deep brown eyes. "Shi- Ow!" Fang yelped, knocking my hand from his forearm. He glared at my chuckling before leaving to get ready.
"Sadie," I knelt down to her level, the ghost of a smile still on my face. "What have we said about using powers in the house?"
"I hearded yelling. I gotta protect you. And daddy."
Upon hearing his name, Fang emerged from the other room, fully ready to go. Surprisingly enough, he wore a dark gray shirt, paired with his usual black pants. Around his neck hung a black tie.
All of my efforts to be strong left me then; my face crumbled and my knees gave out from under me. I began to sob on the floor, the salt of my tears staining the carpet. That tie, that stupid, stupid tie! The last time Fang wore a black tie, we attended a funeral; two years it had been. Two years already.
I could hear Sadie crying behind me, her heart heavy with my pain. I bet she didn't even remember him. How could she have? She was barely two then, still just an innocent little girl with no way to understand "death". I wished I could have said the same.
Time passed without my count. I eventually heard the front door open and creak shut. Three sets of footsteps approached, and a pair of arms tried to pry me up from the floor. I braced my hands against the scratchy fabric, everything in me screaming out for the one person that I could not have. If he was not the one pulling me up, then I would happily stay where I was forever. I would wait for him to return to me. I would wait until I could no longer.
Two people were next to me now, forcing my legs to support my weight. My body arched away from them both, before I finally gave up and fell sideways, right into Fang's outstretched arms. He held me against him chest, a scene parallel to earlier, but with added hysteria.
"Iggy and Ella are here," He tried. I felt him deflate a little when my sobbing did not lessen. "Max, I know. I lost Malachi, too."
Those three syllables tore an even bigger hole inside me. It was like I could no longer function properly; my legs began to buckle again, and if not for my hands gripping onto Fang, I would have been face first in the carpet, and this time, no one would be able to get me up.
"Shh, Max. Shh," Fang pleaded, placing a hand behind my knees. In one swift movement, I was held in his arms bridal style, my entire body curled up against his. He backed up slowly and sat on the edge of our bed, repositioning me so that I was sitting up.
After a few agonizing minutes, I stopped bawling, instead settling for the occasional hiccup. My thoughts were coherent again, and now that I could look back on it, my actions were mortifying. But honestly, losing a child was devastating, no matter who you were. I didn't understand how Fang put on a brave face every day, but he managed it. He sobbed like this once, a few hours after the funeral, but I have not seen him cry since.
Ella came into the room then with a cup full of water and put it up to my lips. I gulped it down quickly, not even worrying to savor the soothing feeling in my raw throat.
Fang leaned into me and kissed the side of my head, mumbling a slightly shaky, "I love you" onto my temple. I said it back to him with as much energy as I could muster.
His relieved smile was beautiful and breathtaking. It disappeared far too quickly. "I understand if you stay here tonight," He tightened his arms around me. "You won't be missing much."
I gave him a sideways glance. "Are you sure? This is a really important day for you."
A soft kiss was my reward. "You're more important." The sentiment was sweet, but his eyes took on a strained look. "Will you be okay, though? Alone, I mean?"
Iggy and Ella both jumped in to help, their sentences identical, "If you need me to, I'll stay with you." They shared a glance, and Iggy slung his arm around Ella's shoulder. I resisted the urge to smile at them.
"I'll be all right." My voice must have sounded convincing, because everyone brightened up a little. "You'll be all right taking care of Sadie, then? And Rovianne?"
Ella smiled fondly down at the pink baby carrier next to her feet. Their daughter was in the center sleeping, her little fists clenching and unclenching around the air. "I think we'll manage," she said, a little distractedly. The love that she had for Rovianne was almost palpable.
"We'd better get going," Fang said, smoothing his sleeve back over his watch. Iggy and Ella shuffled out; when it was just Fang and I left, he came over and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
"You sure you'll be okay?"
I winced at the worry in his voice. "I'll be fine."
"Don't do anything stupid," he warned, his eyes going tight around the corners.
I stood up, my legs still a little wobbly. Fang caught me by the arm. "I'll be all right," I assured him again.
"Promise me." Though he wouldn't say it, we both knew what he was referring to.
A defiant sigh escaped my throat, "I promise."
Satisfied, he leaned down and pressed his lips against mine. The kiss felt sad, but there was something beneath it. Desperation, maybe?
"Ready to go, Fang?" Ella asked from the doorway. Sadie was squirming in her arms, waiting impatiently to say goodbye.
Fang nodded, his eyes still locked on mine. His warning, as well as the words of my promise lingered between us.
And even though I wouldn't say it, I had my fingers crossed behind my back.
"But drenched in vanilla twilight I don't feel so alone As many times as I blink I'll think of you tonight…"
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist deep in thought because when
I think of you I don't feel so alone
I don't feel so alone
I'll think of you tonight
Lyrics from Vanilla Twilight by Owl City
(Disclaimer: I own none of the lyrics!)
So, what'd everyone think? Good? Bad? So awful that you stopped reading halfway through? Although, if you did that, you wouldn't be reading this Author's Note, so… If you've made it this far, I thank you. So much. You stuck with it! Yay!
You guys are great. I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written. I'm going to try to be better about it! I promise! (No worries, my fingers aren't crossed, they're flying across the keyboard as we speak.)
Drop me a line! Tell me what you think! Have you all read Nevermore yet? If not, you're in luck, because as the description mentions, this takes place after Fang. No spoilers after that.
Enough rambling. You're all fantastic. The end.
Read and write on,
~Faxisthegreatest123