Jil's mine and Jhonen owns the rest, thank you! *bows* This is a semi-sequel of my other story, but only in a POV of Jil, the mysterious guest from one of the last chapters of my first 'fic. I've rewritten this story also because it looks crummy after reading it again. Book-Clubbers: This is the story you didn't think I worte, but I DID! And this time it's not "which is which"!!--Long story, only the Book Clubbers and I would get it. So...enjoy! And review, por favor!
~ Planet Irk, Official Beginning of Operation Impending Doom Day ~
CRASH! BANG! ZAP! ZING! KABOOOM!!!! CRUSH!!!
It would've been an exciting day today for many Irkens, thus today the new Almighty Tallests, Red and Purple, have just announced the start of the species' top secret project, Operation Impending Doom. This 'project' is a plan of conquest for the Irken Empire to invade all the other civilized planets in the Universe, conquer them and claim the defeated species of all those planets as their loyal slaves for generations and generations onward.
They have been waiting for this glorious day to come for centuries now, and because of Tallest Miyuki's ingenious plans she made before her horrible death, That day that'll change history forever is well, today. Whoop-de-do.
Crush! Zap!! Bang!! Eeek!!! Split!! Tear! Scream!! Die!! (Well aren't those just lovely sounds to wake up to in the morning?)
Unfortunately, this isn't exactly that day where we all cheer and run around nude during football games.
"MUHAHAHA!!!!!!", laughed a particular green alien of whom you all know and love to obsess over (and to think he won't matter to me in life until many years further would past).
"You got that right, PUNY one!!! Bow down to the almighty-ness of ZIM!!!!!!!!!MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
This was the day that he almost destroyed Planet Irk, all because of his defective problems in his PAK. And that Battle Mech 4 was just standing there, not causing destruction for a little TOO long....
"Look at me go!! I'm an Invader, WOOOO!!!! I'm destroying enemy planets, Yeah baby yeah!!!!"
Typical males. Always love the sweet taste of giving others destruction of their homes, and not to mention a fucking headache that even Tyenol couldn't cure. Anyway, all the assigned Invaders for OID were just going to their ships when little not-ever-gpnna-be-any-taller Zimmy came around and stole that giganto piece of trash made by green claws to destroy the entire planet!!
He always says it was so 'accidental'. PFFT!! Jerk. And Red and Purple were even stupider, by putting him OUTSIDE in the first place!!! Irk was doomed, citizens were running for their lives, building were destroyed, smeets-to-be were doomed and all our 'Almighty' leaders did was just sat there and watch a horrid time in history go by as if they were watching TV or something. Talk about making me get a steel brick to shove into their asses!! But that's just me. Hours later, though, the disaster wasn't over yet. Coming onto the point of this prologue of what tall apes called it, "fan-fiction".
"Turn on those plasma death rays!! Hand me over those controls! Pull those levers and push those pretty buttons ALREADY!! I wanted only the BEST crew of solders with me to destroy this stinkn' place! HA HA!"
"But Zim, this is our home planet, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Stop all this nonsense now or we'll call the Tallests to stop you!". This female Irken appeared to be a religious freak, but she was right trying to stop the dim-witted maniac.
But he didn't seemed to care, aiming his lasers at the spot I was in long ago. The Irken Reproduction Department. "Hey, who says this 'God' guy we are going care all about all of the sudden? I don't even know who he is! And the Tallests ORDERED me to do this!! IT SHALL BE MY DUTY FROM NOW ON AND ON FOREVER!!!!!"
Then he shoots the laser (full of nuclear chemicals and salsa) at that very damn building, and in seconds the top 4 floors of it went into a oblivion, and wrecked the main computers for those floors. Worse of all though (and saying this as a killer of the innocent) KILLED all the smeets, which is about 2,500 of them lying dead, never to experience life. How internal blood producing organ bursting! Over two thousands less soldiers on Irk (Oh, we'll see about that...*smiles*)
So then the religious one whom I burned on a cross years later screams out, "Oh my heavenly god, you hell damned creature!! You just killed about 3,000 Irkens there!! Yeah, as if you are really a genius at anything! Like I'm going to trust you and believe that this was for the good of the Empire!! I'm out of this thing whether I lived through this day or not!" Wise choice, hee hee heeee....
And basically everybody left the giant robot except for Zimmy Zim Zim, who stepped on all of his 'crew' with his big robot foot as soon as they climbed out (Don't worry. The Good Lord saved Carolyney for me to crucify later on :)).
Zim looked around from side to side to see if anyone but the reporters who told me all of this stuff saw the incident. "Umm... *whistles* Didn't do it! No Irk-sir-ree, that's for sure!! The Tallest shall be proud of my other victories, though! (whistles a happier tune *"
Filthy, stinking, no good fucking bastard... Well, after that day, the Tallests found Zim in a garbage can drunk, and banned him onto Foodcourtia. A relief for everybody, that's for sure.....YEAH RIGHT!!!^_^ And as for the Reproduction Department, the nurses and baby-sitters that worked there cleaned up the mess, and their super computer had to rebuilt all the floors 3 days after they were destroyed.
Canister development tubes were replaced, the chemicals were gone, new smeets were being created in the new tubes and the workers found me. Yes, they found me, not exactly a wonderful beginning for me to be found-ed.
But, for those of you who read carefully, what's that suppose to mean? That I'm the only Irken smeet on one of those floors that has survived Zim's lasers? Damn straight! And even more amazing was that I was the top floor! My tube was fine also, so the workers just left me alone, but still shocked that I was gonna be 'the one' or change Irken history fantastically or something like that. Because I have magical, chemical defense powers!!
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm overexcited here, blame the drugs! Blame them!!
~ The Day of my Birth, but also almost the Day of My Death ~
My tube had a long, crack-ety crack-crack on the glass surface, but no one there seemed to notice or even detect that. It stood up, broke up in half on its own, and that cute little smeet girl we all love had fallen down to the first floor of the building, orange liquid and all. Yeah that's right, ORANGE! Like my favorite drink, orange soda! *drinks a whole bottle of it* A robot arm had inserted some wires and volts of electricity onto my back, and inserted my very own PAK in its place.
"DA! DA! He he!" Aren't I disgustingly and idiotically cute???
ZAAAAAAP!!!!!!! SHOCK!!!!!!!
"AHHH!!!!!!! YOW!YOW!! OWEEEEEE!!!!!!!" This was the worst pain I've ever accounted with, which is also the first so far!
The PAK, it strike back at me, and gave me electrical shockings that felt came from the almighty god of lightning himself. It was an agonizing, burning pain that burst into fires of hot metal and a substance similar of that to lava, tearing and ripping my green skin and roasting my spine and my whole Irken skeleton right to deep, dark black burns that have permanently scarred me for my immortal life. It felt like hell was deep inside me, and the one called Satan had captured my soul and whipped it painfully using his sharp, rusting long knives of internal damnation that I so never did not deserve that awful day.
I cried and screamed for bloody Mary for help, but the only ones that surrounded me were computer and robots that were not programmed to feel or even cared at all. I ran, and ran as desperately as I could, to find someone to get rid of this tormenting hell pains, but it only lasted a couple of minutes, because I hit my head on the wall and fell to the floor, not able to get up. My head was bleeding badly, as I can see it flow over my eyeballs that won't blink, and my body refused to get up, but instead shake and shake like crazy, and started to vomit everywhere I could see.
"I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying...." Was the only word of English I could hear and understand, with the whispers turning to yells and curses and the speed of the sayings went faster and faster and faster, but the only thing that could come out of my soul was a high pitched, vibrating, glass-braking scream and shatter that made my vocal cords stretch and rip themselves apart.
I was in a different room now, as I realized, and sat on a chair feeling so much information growing in my brain. The pain was no longer here with me, but my PAK had turned ash black.
" Irken Knowledge downloading, downloading, downloading....BEEP! Identify yourself." The Computer demanded in an emotionless tone.
" Uh......ARRGH!! UGH! UGH!" I winced and tried my hardest to say a proper word.
"Identify yourself, NOW!!"
" Jjjj-jjjj-iiiii-----ehh...eeeeekkk.......AHHHHH!!!!!-----" ,screaming for more than mercy now, a shriek of only confusion , anger and a most agonziing feeling in my soul as it was seemed to be stretched out to much.
"Okay, close enough. Malfunctioned retarded smeets. Next Irken smeet!!"
The arms pushed me down through a chute, and I was down in some kind of nursery home.
" Jjj-iiiii-jjjjj----iii---llllllllllllll.......Jil! Jil, Jil Jil! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JI-OWEEEE!!!! Ouch! Ouch!"
I have learned of my name. My identity, and the only thing that always be with me from today to the end.
A helmet and a laptop had been thrown at me, and I examined both of these objects with much interest. Basically I chewed on them and drooled like an idiot.
A tall, tough bulked Irken in a uniform of purple and red stodd in front of his new soldier. "Shape up, DIM WIT!! This is the official beginning of your military and defense training!! Now move it , MISSY!!
Now this was ridiculous. Sure, I've just received all Irken Knowledge ever existed and got the most technological little pack of equipment, tools and gizmos, but I was only a little innocent one that just went through horrid pains in my body and was even gonna die!! I could at least get 3 or 4 years of relaxing and understanding the environment around me before I have to fight and kill a bunch of other aliens I don't know, and then sacrifice my life for reasons and causes unknown to me.
" NO! NAH UH! NOPE!! Dying owies, many, many ...AND I WANT CURE AND REST NOW!!! Hmph!" I was learning faster now and had the power of rebellion on my side, but that didn't mean I was tough yet. I cried like a human baby for twenty minutes straight afterwards.
"That's no way to act in front of me!" He placed the helmet back on my head tightly. "Now you get your bomb-shooting gun and prepare for WAR!! And download the laptop into your PAK, I don't know what it's doing here, but we don't accept computers during armada training!"
" I no understaaaaaaand!! Me no wanna EVAWR join warmy!!"
"We're going whether I care or not, you annoying, fucking bitchy wimp!!!"
And so after TRYING to be reasonable with this guy using my only smeet-like abilities, he drags me away, and I hugged my laptop and watched as every other smeet I see gets to take naps while I have to shoot cannons and lasers with the bigger, stronger and tougher Irkens. The next day though, I thought about this whole 'army' thing and decided to go along with the crowd, and it might be a great advantage later in my life to get to save my home planet and my species form enemy aliens coming to terrorize our poor, weak selves.
I always had a smile on me, yet a serious look when we were in battle ad kicking Plookesian butt. I had never failed to give the perfect, meaningful salute to our commanders, generals and even the Almighty Tallests themselves.
"Oh look, it's little miss wimpy, TRAINING to become a big, toughie wuffie bully like us! HA! HA! HA!" One older soldier taunted.
A friend of his joined in the amusement, "She's so pathetic! Hey, why don't you hang out with that stupid laptop you're always using as a little adorable teddy bear!!! BABY! BABY! SMEE-EET!!
But after just spending only a year being a loyal Irken Solder, I got teased, beaten, and laughed at every single HELL minute !! It made me feel like a smeet again, and remembered those lucky ones who got to be fed and napped all the time.
And so I shouted back, "You're wright! I'm just a big, weak baby!! WAAAAAHHH!!! Why don't I be in crib? Why me not comfy and happy? I've nevwa sleepy sleep in my yife!! WHY? WHY? WHY?!? WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
And, as if by instinct, they would all beat me up and steal my stuff. But they've done it so much now, I didn't care, and the only things I have left now is a long, red military shirt much, much too big for me that I'm wearing, and my most faithful and beloved friend, my laptop; which I named Scarlett, instead of the stupid, bulky blank name: 'Computer'. I learned how it works, the functions that came with it, but there were still more things I wanted to know about it, and even gave it a soul.
~ That Night ~
I looked up through my narrow and dusty window, and saw that a world was out there, not in the battle fields that I've adapted to, but a beautiful enlightened city filled with Irkens walking in the streets, and living. I even saw a group of smeets walking together under the eyes of a baby-sitter. I just had to be out there! No matter how good I was fighting at such a young age, I needed to be out there, where I can learn and understand my destiny in this Universe.
I kicked those retarded security guards right in their crotches and ran away like hell, grasping Scarlet against my chest, to my home. The Real World.
~ Planet Irk, Official Beginning of Operation Impending Doom Day ~
CRASH! BANG! ZAP! ZING! KABOOOM!!!! CRUSH!!!
It would've been an exciting day today for many Irkens, thus today the new Almighty Tallests, Red and Purple, have just announced the start of the species' top secret project, Operation Impending Doom. This 'project' is a plan of conquest for the Irken Empire to invade all the other civilized planets in the Universe, conquer them and claim the defeated species of all those planets as their loyal slaves for generations and generations onward.
They have been waiting for this glorious day to come for centuries now, and because of Tallest Miyuki's ingenious plans she made before her horrible death, That day that'll change history forever is well, today. Whoop-de-do.
Crush! Zap!! Bang!! Eeek!!! Split!! Tear! Scream!! Die!! (Well aren't those just lovely sounds to wake up to in the morning?)
Unfortunately, this isn't exactly that day where we all cheer and run around nude during football games.
"MUHAHAHA!!!!!!", laughed a particular green alien of whom you all know and love to obsess over (and to think he won't matter to me in life until many years further would past).
"You got that right, PUNY one!!! Bow down to the almighty-ness of ZIM!!!!!!!!!MUHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
This was the day that he almost destroyed Planet Irk, all because of his defective problems in his PAK. And that Battle Mech 4 was just standing there, not causing destruction for a little TOO long....
"Look at me go!! I'm an Invader, WOOOO!!!! I'm destroying enemy planets, Yeah baby yeah!!!!"
Typical males. Always love the sweet taste of giving others destruction of their homes, and not to mention a fucking headache that even Tyenol couldn't cure. Anyway, all the assigned Invaders for OID were just going to their ships when little not-ever-gpnna-be-any-taller Zimmy came around and stole that giganto piece of trash made by green claws to destroy the entire planet!!
He always says it was so 'accidental'. PFFT!! Jerk. And Red and Purple were even stupider, by putting him OUTSIDE in the first place!!! Irk was doomed, citizens were running for their lives, building were destroyed, smeets-to-be were doomed and all our 'Almighty' leaders did was just sat there and watch a horrid time in history go by as if they were watching TV or something. Talk about making me get a steel brick to shove into their asses!! But that's just me. Hours later, though, the disaster wasn't over yet. Coming onto the point of this prologue of what tall apes called it, "fan-fiction".
"Turn on those plasma death rays!! Hand me over those controls! Pull those levers and push those pretty buttons ALREADY!! I wanted only the BEST crew of solders with me to destroy this stinkn' place! HA HA!"
"But Zim, this is our home planet, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!! Stop all this nonsense now or we'll call the Tallests to stop you!". This female Irken appeared to be a religious freak, but she was right trying to stop the dim-witted maniac.
But he didn't seemed to care, aiming his lasers at the spot I was in long ago. The Irken Reproduction Department. "Hey, who says this 'God' guy we are going care all about all of the sudden? I don't even know who he is! And the Tallests ORDERED me to do this!! IT SHALL BE MY DUTY FROM NOW ON AND ON FOREVER!!!!!"
Then he shoots the laser (full of nuclear chemicals and salsa) at that very damn building, and in seconds the top 4 floors of it went into a oblivion, and wrecked the main computers for those floors. Worse of all though (and saying this as a killer of the innocent) KILLED all the smeets, which is about 2,500 of them lying dead, never to experience life. How internal blood producing organ bursting! Over two thousands less soldiers on Irk (Oh, we'll see about that...*smiles*)
So then the religious one whom I burned on a cross years later screams out, "Oh my heavenly god, you hell damned creature!! You just killed about 3,000 Irkens there!! Yeah, as if you are really a genius at anything! Like I'm going to trust you and believe that this was for the good of the Empire!! I'm out of this thing whether I lived through this day or not!" Wise choice, hee hee heeee....
And basically everybody left the giant robot except for Zimmy Zim Zim, who stepped on all of his 'crew' with his big robot foot as soon as they climbed out (Don't worry. The Good Lord saved Carolyney for me to crucify later on :)).
Zim looked around from side to side to see if anyone but the reporters who told me all of this stuff saw the incident. "Umm... *whistles* Didn't do it! No Irk-sir-ree, that's for sure!! The Tallest shall be proud of my other victories, though! (whistles a happier tune *"
Filthy, stinking, no good fucking bastard... Well, after that day, the Tallests found Zim in a garbage can drunk, and banned him onto Foodcourtia. A relief for everybody, that's for sure.....YEAH RIGHT!!!^_^ And as for the Reproduction Department, the nurses and baby-sitters that worked there cleaned up the mess, and their super computer had to rebuilt all the floors 3 days after they were destroyed.
Canister development tubes were replaced, the chemicals were gone, new smeets were being created in the new tubes and the workers found me. Yes, they found me, not exactly a wonderful beginning for me to be found-ed.
But, for those of you who read carefully, what's that suppose to mean? That I'm the only Irken smeet on one of those floors that has survived Zim's lasers? Damn straight! And even more amazing was that I was the top floor! My tube was fine also, so the workers just left me alone, but still shocked that I was gonna be 'the one' or change Irken history fantastically or something like that. Because I have magical, chemical defense powers!!
Woooooooooo Hoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I'm overexcited here, blame the drugs! Blame them!!
~ The Day of my Birth, but also almost the Day of My Death ~
My tube had a long, crack-ety crack-crack on the glass surface, but no one there seemed to notice or even detect that. It stood up, broke up in half on its own, and that cute little smeet girl we all love had fallen down to the first floor of the building, orange liquid and all. Yeah that's right, ORANGE! Like my favorite drink, orange soda! *drinks a whole bottle of it* A robot arm had inserted some wires and volts of electricity onto my back, and inserted my very own PAK in its place.
"DA! DA! He he!" Aren't I disgustingly and idiotically cute???
ZAAAAAAP!!!!!!! SHOCK!!!!!!!
"AHHH!!!!!!! YOW!YOW!! OWEEEEEE!!!!!!!" This was the worst pain I've ever accounted with, which is also the first so far!
The PAK, it strike back at me, and gave me electrical shockings that felt came from the almighty god of lightning himself. It was an agonizing, burning pain that burst into fires of hot metal and a substance similar of that to lava, tearing and ripping my green skin and roasting my spine and my whole Irken skeleton right to deep, dark black burns that have permanently scarred me for my immortal life. It felt like hell was deep inside me, and the one called Satan had captured my soul and whipped it painfully using his sharp, rusting long knives of internal damnation that I so never did not deserve that awful day.
I cried and screamed for bloody Mary for help, but the only ones that surrounded me were computer and robots that were not programmed to feel or even cared at all. I ran, and ran as desperately as I could, to find someone to get rid of this tormenting hell pains, but it only lasted a couple of minutes, because I hit my head on the wall and fell to the floor, not able to get up. My head was bleeding badly, as I can see it flow over my eyeballs that won't blink, and my body refused to get up, but instead shake and shake like crazy, and started to vomit everywhere I could see.
"I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying, I'm dying...." Was the only word of English I could hear and understand, with the whispers turning to yells and curses and the speed of the sayings went faster and faster and faster, but the only thing that could come out of my soul was a high pitched, vibrating, glass-braking scream and shatter that made my vocal cords stretch and rip themselves apart.
I was in a different room now, as I realized, and sat on a chair feeling so much information growing in my brain. The pain was no longer here with me, but my PAK had turned ash black.
" Irken Knowledge downloading, downloading, downloading....BEEP! Identify yourself." The Computer demanded in an emotionless tone.
" Uh......ARRGH!! UGH! UGH!" I winced and tried my hardest to say a proper word.
"Identify yourself, NOW!!"
" Jjjj-jjjj-iiiii-----ehh...eeeeekkk.......AHHHHH!!!!!-----" ,screaming for more than mercy now, a shriek of only confusion , anger and a most agonziing feeling in my soul as it was seemed to be stretched out to much.
"Okay, close enough. Malfunctioned retarded smeets. Next Irken smeet!!"
The arms pushed me down through a chute, and I was down in some kind of nursery home.
" Jjj-iiiii-jjjjj----iii---llllllllllllll.......Jil! Jil, Jil Jil! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JIL! JI-OWEEEE!!!! Ouch! Ouch!"
I have learned of my name. My identity, and the only thing that always be with me from today to the end.
A helmet and a laptop had been thrown at me, and I examined both of these objects with much interest. Basically I chewed on them and drooled like an idiot.
A tall, tough bulked Irken in a uniform of purple and red stodd in front of his new soldier. "Shape up, DIM WIT!! This is the official beginning of your military and defense training!! Now move it , MISSY!!
Now this was ridiculous. Sure, I've just received all Irken Knowledge ever existed and got the most technological little pack of equipment, tools and gizmos, but I was only a little innocent one that just went through horrid pains in my body and was even gonna die!! I could at least get 3 or 4 years of relaxing and understanding the environment around me before I have to fight and kill a bunch of other aliens I don't know, and then sacrifice my life for reasons and causes unknown to me.
" NO! NAH UH! NOPE!! Dying owies, many, many ...AND I WANT CURE AND REST NOW!!! Hmph!" I was learning faster now and had the power of rebellion on my side, but that didn't mean I was tough yet. I cried like a human baby for twenty minutes straight afterwards.
"That's no way to act in front of me!" He placed the helmet back on my head tightly. "Now you get your bomb-shooting gun and prepare for WAR!! And download the laptop into your PAK, I don't know what it's doing here, but we don't accept computers during armada training!"
" I no understaaaaaaand!! Me no wanna EVAWR join warmy!!"
"We're going whether I care or not, you annoying, fucking bitchy wimp!!!"
And so after TRYING to be reasonable with this guy using my only smeet-like abilities, he drags me away, and I hugged my laptop and watched as every other smeet I see gets to take naps while I have to shoot cannons and lasers with the bigger, stronger and tougher Irkens. The next day though, I thought about this whole 'army' thing and decided to go along with the crowd, and it might be a great advantage later in my life to get to save my home planet and my species form enemy aliens coming to terrorize our poor, weak selves.
I always had a smile on me, yet a serious look when we were in battle ad kicking Plookesian butt. I had never failed to give the perfect, meaningful salute to our commanders, generals and even the Almighty Tallests themselves.
"Oh look, it's little miss wimpy, TRAINING to become a big, toughie wuffie bully like us! HA! HA! HA!" One older soldier taunted.
A friend of his joined in the amusement, "She's so pathetic! Hey, why don't you hang out with that stupid laptop you're always using as a little adorable teddy bear!!! BABY! BABY! SMEE-EET!!
But after just spending only a year being a loyal Irken Solder, I got teased, beaten, and laughed at every single HELL minute !! It made me feel like a smeet again, and remembered those lucky ones who got to be fed and napped all the time.
And so I shouted back, "You're wright! I'm just a big, weak baby!! WAAAAAHHH!!! Why don't I be in crib? Why me not comfy and happy? I've nevwa sleepy sleep in my yife!! WHY? WHY? WHY?!? WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!"
And, as if by instinct, they would all beat me up and steal my stuff. But they've done it so much now, I didn't care, and the only things I have left now is a long, red military shirt much, much too big for me that I'm wearing, and my most faithful and beloved friend, my laptop; which I named Scarlett, instead of the stupid, bulky blank name: 'Computer'. I learned how it works, the functions that came with it, but there were still more things I wanted to know about it, and even gave it a soul.
~ That Night ~
I looked up through my narrow and dusty window, and saw that a world was out there, not in the battle fields that I've adapted to, but a beautiful enlightened city filled with Irkens walking in the streets, and living. I even saw a group of smeets walking together under the eyes of a baby-sitter. I just had to be out there! No matter how good I was fighting at such a young age, I needed to be out there, where I can learn and understand my destiny in this Universe.
I kicked those retarded security guards right in their crotches and ran away like hell, grasping Scarlet against my chest, to my home. The Real World.