Disclaimer: I don't own The World Ends With You. The lucky sods who do own it are Square-Enix and Jupiter.

A/N: Inspired by a person from tumblr who joked about a certain somebody becoming a snake Noise post-game. Of course, my cracky brain produced this.

Also; this is completely typed out on my phone, so sorry for any mistakes! The laptop's currently going under repairs, and will hopefully be fixed soon.

Takes place in the same universe as Life's Little Crossroads, but not Post Mortem, Antequem Vita. Hope you enjoy~

EDIT: Fixed some stray mistakes and tweaked a few sentences to make them flow better. Still utter crack, and still on the phone.

.: Shady Shades :.

The next time that Neku decided to go after Joshua, he'd make sure that there wasn't any angry Noise snakes wanting to eat him.

Like now, for example.

Neku drew back towards the entrance of the Dead God's Pad as the snake in question hissed angrily, coiling towards him with a sinister hiss. It suddenly lurched forward and just missed his ankle, flopping against the glass floor with a thump.

"W-whoa there!" Neku raised his hands up at the strange snake, dark blue eyes wide. It looked strangely familar, but not in a good way... "Down snake!"

"Megumi," chided Joshua's familar voice. He was standing in front of a large mirror, attempting to flatten down his fluffy hair with his hands. Tiny pieces of static flickered around him, suggesting that he'd just appeared. "You fell into the fish last time. Do you really want Yashiro to eye you up again?"

Before Neku could ask any one of his many questions, the snake had lurched forward again with a threatening hiss. Red markings marred the otherwise-flawless black scales, and it was honestly tiny for a snake. It only reached to his knees at full height.

Still, he wasn't taking any chances. He stepped back. "Josh, why the hell is there a snake in here? Seriously?" He knew that he was weird, but this was... he couldn't believe it.

"Because why not," came the bored response.

"Uh, because it makes you look like you need urgent help?" He slowly inched his way towards the white sofa. There were still dozens of fish swimming underneath the glass panels, making him feel dizzy just glancing at them.

At that moment, the Noise hissed again and slithered closer to Neku.

"S-stop!" He let out a unmanly squeak.

Joshua giggled a little. "Megumi, I understand that Neku here erased you, but really. Stand down. He won't erase you... again."

"H-hey!"

"You want to sit down?" Joshua lazily gestured to the sofa behind him. "Just take your shoes off."

"No chance."

"Hmm. Might have to get the gun out again. Third time lucky, isn't it?"

Wincing a little at the reminder - did Josh really need to bring that up? - Neku settled himself on the snow-white sofa, watching with some sort of unwavering fascination as the Composer continued to peen himself in the mirror. He was wearing his usual outfit; pale purple shirt with massive sleeves, and tight black jeans. He didn't have any shoes on, only a pair of white socks.

Megumi violently poked him in the ankle with his scaly head.

"What?"

He arched his tail to a pair of dark green shoes that screamed bling. Eri would be having a field day in here, and not for the first time, Neku was immensely grateful that he'd come by himself. As much as he loved his friends, he wasn't sure if they'd welcome Shades as warmly as he had.

"Megumi." Joshua sighed. "I thought I already informed you that they go horribly with black jeans. I do not go waltzing along with a questionable obsession with Hip Snake and headphones that don't actually do anything but look ugly."

The Noise gave Joshua the most offended look that Neku had ever seen a Noise give.

"Hmm... do you think that-"

"-Hang on." He coughed pointedly, drawing the attention of the ashen-blond in front of him. With a heavy sigh, Joshua flicked his hair and looked at Neku.

"What."

"You brought back Shades as a Noise."

"Didn't have enough Soul to revive him fully." Joshua sounded as if that was the magical answer to everything, despite that Neku didn't even know what 'Soul' was. "Now can I-"

"-You've been ditching us all for a freakin' Noise."

He smirked smugly. "A shades-wearing, headphones-loving, time-stopping Noise."

"That makes it worse!"

Joshua looked away again, staring down at the small snake that had now contentedly wrapped itself around his bare ankle. "...I shouldn't have erased him. I managed to find enough of his Soul to morph him into a Noise, but as you can see, most of the Noise had already claimed his Soul by the time I found him cowarding behind 104.

Megumi's tongue angrily poked the Composer's leg, mist likely annoyed at being called a coward. Joshua's reward was to kick him off his foot, smirking.

"Here~"

"Josh!" Neku let out an unmanly yelp as the Noise landed in his lap. The two of them stared at each other for a few seconds before Megumi bit Neku on the nose and slithered off. "What the hell!?"

"He doesn't like humans," Joshua explained dryly as he bent down to poke the black snake between its beady eyes. "Now, behave. Neku's died so many times that he might as well be dead."

"Only because of you," Neku snapped back, irritated. He crossed his arms and fell back, hitting the board of the sofa with a soft thump. "Why the hell do I even bother? You don't show up for two weeks, worry the hell out of us - Beat was gonna come crashing in here soon - and I find you with Shades as a snake. Like, seriously."

"He's a good snake!" Joshua protested childishly. Pouting, he flung himself next to Neku and pulled on a pair of red sneakers. Neku could do nothing but stare at him.

"Was that - was that seriously the only freakin' part you caught!?"

"He can't stand up for himself now!" Joshua yanked at a curly strand of his hair, pouting some more when it sprung back into place immediately. "I mean, Neku; picking on the defenseless? How ungentleman like."

"He bit me on the nose," Neku complained, rubbing the painful spot in question. He could sense Shades crowing at him from the ground ("Haha I bit you I bit you I didn't need to stop time for that sucker~"), his oversized sunglasses shining brightly. The sight was so bizarre that Neku had to pitch himself multiple times, but then he remembered that this kind of crap was probably normal for Joshua, and immediately stopped stabbing his poor arm.

How the hell did Mr. H put up with this kid, much less like him?

Joshua adruptly stood up and brushed off some imagery dust from his trousers. "We heading off?"

Neku stared at his back. "Huh?"

The blond clucked his tongue. "Neku, you came in here looking for me. Of course I'm returning with you; basic manners, hmm?"

The teenager found himself smiling, since that was basically "Thanks for caring" in Joshua language. He stood up and stretched lazily. Several bones popped in protest. "Sure. A-East cool with you?"

"One condition."

Oh God. "What?"

Joshua picked up the Noise from the ground and idly wrapped it around his arm. Megumi hissed at the sudden surprise, snapping his head about in protest. After a few seconds, he seemed to accept his fate, silently resting his small head in Joshua's palm. Neku was surprised that the blond hadn't tried to fling him off yet. "I take Megumi with me."

What. "Are you high!?"

"Fine. Make that the RG."

"Don't you dare!"

"But he'll be lonely!"

Neku felt his soft side kick in. Ugh! He had to resist... resist the urges... oh screw it. "...Fine. But one wrong look from the police, and I'm kicking your ass back here."

"Hehe... glady~"

Smacking his friend's hair ("Nekuuu! Hands off the hair!"), Neku couldn't help but grin.

"What's gotten you into such a good mood?" Joshua grumbled next to Neku, still messing with his hair some more.

"Your face."

"Such a childish answer."

Neku's grin only grew..