Wait, I'm not too late! It's not Chinese New Year yet, so this can count as a new year's fic, right? Truth is, I have two FMA fics I'm working on (been working on for a year, ahem), but I got inspired all of a sudden last night (instead of going to sleep). Hope you enjoy!
Nine in the Morning
"So how old are you gonna be this year?" Ed piped up. "Thirty-something?"
"And how old are you going to be this year?" Roy retorted coolly, lengthening his strides. "Is your height going to catch up any time soon?"
The younger man's left eyebrow twitched, but he didn't take the bait.
It was early morning, the first day of the New Year. Donned in casual gear, the two alchemists were weaving through the lively streets of the market place whilst playing a question-answer game that had already lasted twenty minutes.
Ed flicked his golden ponytail over his shoulder and glanced at a bakery with minor interest.
"My point is," he continued, "how long are you planning to put me off for?"
Roy angled his body to squeeze past a hunchbacked old woman who was picking apples and mumbling about the rising prices to the irascible shop owner. The heels of his worn brown lace-ups clicking faintly on the cobblestone path, he answered flippantly: "for as long as I can, obviously."
The blond chewed on his bottom lip, rummaging inside the many drawers of his brain for another approach. Roy had meanwhile shifted his attention to a wavy-haired waitress in a café across the street, slackening his pace slightly to shoot her a signature smile of level 2.5 devastation.
Before the girl could swoon, Ed made a point of hooking his arm with Roy's and flipping her the bird.
The black haired man growled and shook off the heavy automail limb as if it were an offending bug.
"God, Fullmetal! Can you get any more immature?"
Ed snorted. "I was going to call you daddy and make animal noises at her. Too bad. And who's the immature one who flirts with anything with boobs and an ass that walks on two legs?"
Roy suppressed a grown of defeat. He had intended to take a peaceful morning walk, alone, to think about how he would realize his political ambitions for the year… and oh, maybe to pick up some groceries on the way (mustn't forget the smoked salmon and zucchinis). But here he was –having done neither plan –sporting a caffeine-insufficiency-induced headache with Fullmetal nipping at his heels like some hyperactive pup.
"Can you not walk so fast, bastard?" complained the subject of his current concerns. "If you're trying to shake me off, you can forget it."
"Enough, Fullmetal!" barked Roy, his tone low and dangerous. The sound was enough to send a thrill of anticipation through the younger man's veins. Ed swallowed down his excitement as the man's large, warm hand closed around his flesh wrist and pulled him against his side.
Roy wordlessly dragged him along, navigating expertly through the twists and turns of nameless streets –as if he were just the charcoal-gray specter of his shadow that sensuously, fleetingly caressed the sun-bleached concrete paths and brick walls.
Finally they stopped inside a long, narrow and ill-lit alleyway that smelt of mould, urine and faint traces of hurried lovemaking. They slipped behind the shelter of an abandoned filing cabinet that was rusted and dented enough to be a cultural relic of overlong office hours and frayed tempers.
Under the needle-thin beams of light, Roy's eyes were merely pools of unreadable, opalescent black.
His voice was low and soft as he commanded: "you have five minutes to convince me, or we will not bring up this subject ever again."
The blond smirked. Easy Enough.
Slowly, cautiously, he slipped the toe of his leather-booted foot the soupcon of an inch into the skerrick space between Roy's parted feet. He narrowed his eyes into slits of gleaming bronze, raising his chin as if to deliver the challenge in his gaze straight into the impassive, coldly handsome face of his superior.
"I'm only asking for this one time," Ed began, his few words soft and low like exhalations that slipped playfully into the open collar of Roy's blue gingham shirt.
When the older man made no response, he moved the smallest fraction closer.
"Just a tiny taste," Ed added slowly, the tip of his tongue darting out to moisten full, plump lips.
"No," muttered Roy, his voice lowered a few tones to a hoarse murmur.
The blond slipped his flesh hand between them, to trace lazy circles on the man's chest.
"I know what you're worrying about," Ed continued. "You're a Colonel, and I'm a Major directly under your command. You don't want to cause a scandal."
He held back a smirk at Roy's quiet gasp, as his index came dangerously close to the dark pink nub hidden beneath the thin fabric of his breast pocket.
Ed stepped closer, as if to emphasize his point: "but everyone likes to indulge in little bit of decadence once in a while, don't you think?"
Uncomfortably aware of the young man's leather-clad thigh that was almost nestled between his knees, Roy made a move to back off. "Edwa –
"Wait," Ed interrupted, his other arm flashing out to slip around the small of Roy's back.
"You got what you want… now you have to give me what I want."
He ran his finger slowly along the seam of Roy's trouser pocket, dipping his head a little to the side; strands of his lustrous ponytail skimmed off his exposed neck in ripples of barely caramelized sugar to once again rest upon his back. The older man remained dead still, his lips flattened into a pale, thin line.
Ed's eyes were positively glinting profanity as his nimble digits boldly glided into Roy's pocket to trace along the hard bulge inside, earning the slightest flinch from his superior.
The blond lowered his voice to a husky whisper, wickedly edged with just the hint of a purr and delivered the final blow: "or maybe, you want to give me what I want… as much as I want it?"
The thrill of success danced upon Ed's skin like goose bumps as Roy's resolve finally began to crack; dropping the steely gaze of his eyes to the floor, the older man parted his lips to issue a faint sigh.
He stepped back and pushed past his subordinate, eager to diffuse the crackling, red-hot tension between them –but knowing full well that distance will do nothing to weaken Edward's passions.
"I'm quite sure that I'm going to regret this," he muttered. "Follow me."
The man made his way towards the other end of the alleyway, his footsteps a loud moderato that echoed with his tacit surrender in the confined space. Ed fought back his apprehension as he followed suit.
Neither of them spoke as Roy led them in and out of streets, into the murkier areas of Central that hummed quiet melodies of exoticism, sex and alcohol in a sensual mezzo-soprano even in the early hours of the day. The younger alchemist glanced nervously at the tinted windows and heavy velvet curtains drawn tightly closed behind dusty, cracked glass. He could not help but flinch slightly at the prickly shatter of a distant smashing glass.
"This district becomes an adult's playground at night," said Roy with a smirk. "Feeling a bit out of place, Fullmetal?"
"Shut up," Ed grunted, hastily wiping his sleeve across his cheeks to hide his blush.
Ten or so minutes later they stopped in front of a three-story building. Above its heavy twin doors hung a large sign that read Hotel Vermiglio, written in a swirling font behind a tawdry background of deep red roses – quite at odds with the neutral façade of the structure.
Ed felt as if he had entered an entirely different world when he stepped inside. Thick off-white carpets covered the floor, lined with a lavishly tasseled Parisian carpet of gold, red and black. Upon the velvet walls hung sfumato renderings of dancing nymphs and adolescent male beauties, coupled with chiaroscuro still lives that almost sinfully exhibited peaches, pomegranates and oranges that were forever ripened and bleeding their sweet juices. Hints of incense slithered around the room, wrapping its inhabitants with its invisible ribbons. In one corner stood a replica of Michelangelo's Dying Slave, the candlelight softly illuminating the beautiful contours of his languishing body. A reclining Venus, deep in slumber, lay languidly at the other corner in her translucent pastel silks.
Taking a deep breath, Ed reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his wallet, fishing out a few notes. He glared at Roy who attempted to hide his amused smirk behind his palm.
"Only this part is on me, okay?" the younger alchemist growled. He stepped up to the reception and slapped the bills onto the black marble counter, where traces of last night's visitors could still be seen in the faint, smudged fingerprints.
"If anyone asks, we were never here, okay?" he said to the silk-clad lady.
Ed tried not to wince in response to the frosty gray stare that was his reply.
Chuckling, Roy nudged the younger man aside and leaned against the counter, angling his body ever so slightly towards the unimpressed woman.
"My apologies, miss," said Roy sweetly. "He tends to be a little nervous in these places."
The receptionist kept her professional smile, but the oncoming flush was unmistakable behind the careful makeup. Roy pressed two pale fingers upon the worn bills and slid them closer towards her.
"I hope you can excuse my ill manners," he continued with a smile. "Had I the opportunity I would take you to a café, or perhaps to dinner. I hope you will do me a favor this one time?"
"I… will make an exception today, sir," replied the woman with faintly trembling red lips as she accepted the money.
Ed rolled his eyes as the process finally came to an end, and none-to-gently slapped Roy's shoulder in annoyance.
"Did you forget that you're with me today? Cut down the sugar and cream, for god's sake!" he hissed.
"Obviously you don't know a thing about proper procedures," Roy retorted through gritted teeth. "Let's just get this over and done with."
"A room for two, sirs?" the receptionist enquired curiously, cutting the argument short.
"Maybe later," Ed said dismissively, before dragging the older man towards the adjacent hall.
He gave his superior a suspicious glance. "It's about time you hand over your wallet, Mustang."
Roy scoffed. "As if I'm going to offer myself to you like a cash cow. I'm not giving you a cenz until I see the menu."
"I knew it," Ed grunted. Tightening his grasp on Roy's arm, he swiftly slipped his flesh hand into the back pocket of Roy's chinos and pulled out a shiny black wallet.
"Hey! How did you –
The older man's cry of indignation went ignored as Ed led them inside the hotel's restaurant with gusto, jolting the tall, tanned waiter at the door out of his reveries
"A table for two, sirs?" he said hastily, straightening his collar.
"That table over there, please," Roy answered almost pleadingly, gesturing towards the corner of the room away from prying eyes (not that there were many people in the restaurant).
Ed dragged him towards their table before the young man could escort them, and all but dumped Roy into his seat.
"Oh my god! There ain't enough in here to buy a bread loaf!" Ed cried. "You might as well put sawdust in here!"
Roy feigned ignorance, staring moodily into his glass that was being filled with water.
"Where's the rest of it?"
"There isn't any more."
"Liar. Empty your breast pocket."
"What?"
"Do it!"
Roy groaned and pulled the small wad of notes from his shirt, unsnapping the dark pink clip securing it and tossing the money into Ed's eager palms.
"Heh heh, now that's what I'm talking about!" Ed sniggered. He grabbed the leather bound menu and opened it with a thud, flipping straight to the deserts page. It was Roy's turn to roll his eyes at the childish grin that lit up the younger man's face as he browsed through the brilliant photos of ice cream, cake, jelly, crepes and sorbet.
"May I take your orders, sirs?" inquired the waiter who had observed the exchange between the two with avid interest.
"Give me the House Specialty Monster Sundae for four. Extra sauce," Ed ordered brightly.
He took down the order with mild confusion knitting his brows, then turned to Roy.
"Anything for you, sir?"
"A tall cappuccino with an extra shot, I beg of you," the man muttered.
"A House Specialty Monster Sundae for four ("With extra sauce!" Ed reminded him crossly), and a tall cappuccino with an extra shot. Anything else today?"
"That's all, thank you," Roy replied with extra emphasis, glaring poison at the alchemist across the table.
The blond held on for dear life as the waiter proceeded to retrieve the menu.
"I'm having seconds!"
"No you're not –
"Oh yeah!" Ed cut in, switching his attention to the tall man. "If anyone asks, we were never here, okay?"
After taking a baffled look at the note that was messily stuffed into the pocket of his vest, the waiter made a vague, incomprehensible motion with his head before he traipsed off.
"You said the bribery money was on you," Roy pointed out flatly.
"I changed my mind, because you're so damn stingy!"
The dark haired man barked a laugh. "I am so going to report you for robbing your superior officer in broad daylight!"
"Then I'll tell everyone that you pulled me into an alleyway and violated me. Oho, Hawkeye's going to dismember you for sure!"
Roy's mouth dropped open. "Excuse me? If I remember correctly, you were the one who had me against the wall and put your creepy hands all over me!"
"Duh, how else would I know where you hid your stinking piles of cash?"
"You are such a brat!"
The heated conversation which went on for a few more minutes was cut short as the coffee and the gigantic glass bowl of fat and sugar were placed onto their table. With a megawatt grin, Ed promptly picked up his spoon and dug in.
"I can't believe this," Roy whined as he halfheartedly put sugar into his drink. "I only promised to treat you to desert if you could complete your mission without flattening a single building. Why the hell are we in a goddamn love hotel eating a fucking sundae?"
"That's 'cos somebody said that the ice cream here is top notch, and they have an amazing patisserie," Ed answered enthusiastically with sauce smeared all over his mouth. "I'm sure you can count the number of times that I've been kicked out of places 'cos I wasn't old enough to enter."
Roy leaned forward to search deep into his subordinate's eyes, as if vexed by the state of the latter's sanity. "I know, but ice cream? At nine in the morning?"
"Youm fuu meh owf four…"
"Swallow first, Fullmetal, you're spitting cream and germs all over me."
"You put me off for half a year before I could finally have desert for breakfast," Ed protested, as if by way of explanation.
"Right," replied Roy dubiously. "But the real tragedy is that hundreds of poor children are going to go hungry tonight, because you ate all of their portions…"
He shifted his legs just in time to avoid the kick that was aimed at his shins in reply.
With a sigh, the older man turned to observe the rows of empty tables and chairs dotting the room like an impassive audience to the spectacle. The man who had served them was once again sitting by the side of the front door, half asleep. The morning sun was streaming through the lace curtains, sprinkling speckles of gold and cobalt blue onto the almost demolished sundae, highlighting the expression of glee on the younger man's face as he sent loaded spoons of the desert into his chocolate coated mouth.
The man smiled. At least he looks right at home.
"So, how is it?" he asked the younger alchemist.
"How's what?"
"The ice cream. Did it live up to your expectations?"
"Oh yeah! This is the best stuff, Mustang! You are so missing out!" Ed proclaimed as he dug his spoon into the bowl with a loud clink. "Wait… I'm not giving you any, you know. Buzz off."
Roy let out a rather uncharacteristic snort as the younger man scooped the bowl closer towards himself.
"I don't want any of that goop, thank you very much," he said, sipping his cappuccino leisurely.
"Whatever," Ed scoffed.
"Say, once you're done…"
"I'm having seconds."
"Yes, I heard. Once you're done, we might as well book a room since we're here."
"Why?"
"I'm in need of a good nap. And you can have your bubble bath."
"At nine in the morning? Hell yes!"
The End
Roy and Ed are such good friends, heh heh. I was given the heads up to read the 520 cenz chapter of FMA, and was inspired by the aspect of Ed trying to wring all of the money out of Roy. I hope all the innuendos matched up and were obvious enough, they were the most fun to compose. Now, back to all of the other stuff that I have to do…