NEW STORY!! (Even though I have at least 5 other stories that need to be finished) I have no idea how I came up with the idea for this really...If this has been done already, then I am sorry, but I really have not seen this before...Anyway, I do not own Naruto or any of these characters...So, without further ado, lets begin!!
Naruto Uzumaki Care Manual
Congratulations! You are now the proud owner of your very own NARUTO UZUMAKI!!
What Have I Purchased?
You have just purchased a Naruto Uzumaki!! Naruto Uzumaki is energetic, loud, and obnxious. Your Naruto comes with:
1 Orange Jumpsuit
1 Set of Pajamas (with sleeping cap)
1 Frog Wallet
10 Kunais
1 Blue Leaf Village Headband
10 Packs of Ramen
1 Naruto Uzumaki
WARNING
If your enjoy getting a good night's sleep on a daily basis, then Naruto Uzumaki is not for you, as his constant yelling will keep you up all night. Instead, we recommend a Shikamaru Nara.
Also, NEVER seriously bash Sasuke Uchiha in any way, shape, or form, or Naruto Uzumaki WILL hurt you (and we are not liable for any damage he may cause).
If you are broke, do not mention ramen, because Naruto will make you buy him some.
Do not make Naruto extremely angry, otherwise the nine-tailed demon fox within him will take over, and you WILL die.
Assembly Instructions
Open the box and let Naruto come out on his own. If he does not yell, threaten, and accuse you of putting him in there, then you have recieved a defect and should ship it back for a new Naruto immediately.
Once he is out, give him some ramen and he will be your best friend forever.
Feeding Instructions
Naruto prefers eating ramen all day, every day. However, we suggest giving him other foods as well, because too much ramen is unhealthy for growing Narutos. Naruto can eat just about anything (foodwise, that is...)
Sleeping Habits
If Naruto is fixated on something, then he will try to get it done no matter what before sleeping. However, when Naruto does fall asleep, nothing can wake him up.
FAQs
Q: My Naruto goes missing for several days at a time. Why is this?
A: Naruto is either on a mission or looking for a Lady Tsunade so he can recieve a mission. Don't worry, he'll always come back.
Q: I don't want my Naruto to go on missions. What if he dies?!
A: Don't worry. He won't die. He's the main character. Without him, there is no show, so he must live.
Q: Why does my Naruto never shut up when my friend brings her Lady Tsunade over?
A: Naruto is always yelling and screaming whenever he sees Lady Tsunade so that he can get a new mission. My advice is to keep him away from your friend's Lady Tsunade.
Q: HELP! My friend brought her Jiraiya over the other day to meet my Naruto and they just disappeared! Will they ever come back?
A: Don't worry. They'll be back in two years. Until then, perhaps you should get a Sakura Haruno to keep you company?
Q: Every so often my Naruto turns into a naked girl...
A: He's just practicing his sexy no jutsu. Don't worry, it's normal!
Q: My Naruto always tries to beat up my friend's Sasuke Uchiha. Why is this?
A: Naruto and Sasuke are rivals. Just keep an eye on them so they don't hurt each other TOO badly.
Q: Why does Naruto Uzumaki only come with a 2 hour warranty where as everyone else comes with a 2 year warranty?
A: The truth is, we here at 'Anime Characters R Us' don't want Naruto back, so we give him a shoter warranty. He's just too obnoxious and loud and we'relosing business because Narutos don't let any custoers look at any other Anime characters to cosider buying! So please, DON'T SEND HIM BACK TO US!! We will pay you 500 if you just DON'T send Naruto Uzumaki back to us!
If You Enjoyed Naruto Uzumaki, You May Also Enjoy:
Sasuke Uchiha
Sakura Haruno
Hinata Hyuuga
Shino Aburame
Kiba Inuzuka
Ino Yamanaka
Shikamaru Nara
Chouji Akimichi
Rock Lee
Tenten
Neji Hyuuga
Sabaku no Gaara
Kakashi Hatake
Jiraiya
Konohamaru
Iruka Umino
Naruto is NOT compatible with:
Orochimaru
Kabuto
Any Members of Akatsuki
Warranty
Naruto Uzumaki comes with a two hour warranty in case you find you are not happy with him. Naruto can only be returned if one of the following occurs:
The Kyuubi inside of him dies somehow
He attempts to rape and/or molest a Sakura Haruno
When coming back after two years with Jiraiya, he is overly perverted and is basically a clone of Jiraiya
He is overly loud and obnoxious
He uses 'Sexy no Jutsu' and tries to get you to make a porn movie with him while he is in that form
Well, did you like it? I'm planning on doing Sakura or Sasuke next (that is, if you guys think this is a good idea and I should stick with it). This is just a fun little side thing for me to do whie I have writer's block for my other stories, so I promise I'll have some chapters of something else up soon (especially since school is out in 2 days!!)
Pooh Bear Is My Hero