Mission X Part 1
A New Mission
by
Sailor Janus
plus
Interview With a Gundam Pilot
Disclaimer: their respected creators own Gundam Wing.
Now on with the show ^_^
*~*~*~*
It was just another weekend at Heero's apartment. Wufei and Duo were constantly arguing over something petty while playing the newest action video game as Quatre and Trowa were trying their hardest to ignore the bickering, waiting patiently for their turns.
Growing bored of the new brain-sucking device, I mean video game, Heero decided to retreat to his room to check his email and find out if they received a new mission yet.
Turning on his laptop, the Perfect Soldier quickly signed on waiting for the connection to complete. This unsurprisingly, took at least twenty minutes. How sad that no matter how much you advance in technology, it still takes forever to get online.
"Welcome! You've got Mission!" the computer blared as Heero rolled his Prussian blue eyes.
"Duo's been messing with my computer again. Damn him," he growled as he opened his email box. Last time, the braided-haired pilot had created a little animation in which the five pilots were doing the can-can whenever the stoic teen signed on... and then mooned him when he signed off. This resulted in Heero dragging Duo to the computer by his chestnut brown braid to fix it.
'Hn, Mission X?' the boy thought as he began to read the newest mission and suddenly turned chalk white.
"Oh no..." Heero groaned as he read on, feeling as if he were about to retch all over his poor highly abused laptop.
"Hey Heero! Did we get a new mission?" Duo cheerfully asked as he bounced in the room. The stoic teen just pointed to the screen, still in complete shock.
The chestnut brown-haired pilot glanced at the screen, which depicted a picture of the pilots wearing very bizarre looking clothing followed by the statement on the mission itself. "Hey! That's us but.... What the hell?!" the boy gaped at the picture as he too appeared to be growing ill.
"What?! New mission?" the Chinese teen asked as he stared curiously at his two extremely pale friends, which nodded as they pointed at the computer.
Heero finally found his voice, blinking at Wufei. "We have to pose as a boy band."
"WHAT?! INJUSTICE!" the dark-haired teen bellowed as he pushed past Duo, knocking the teen clear across the room to get a better look at the screen. Sure enough, the mission was real. "There is no way I am going to pretend to be some nancy pansy singing boy group!"
Just then Quatre and Trowa walked in the room wondering why everyone was yelling.
"Wait. Did Wufei just say we have to pose as a boy band?" the green-eyed teen asked pausing in the doorway as the other three boys nodded in response.
Quatre looked a little worried. "Did we do something wrong? Are they trying to punish us?!"
"This is going to be hell," Trowa sighed as he crossed his arms leaning against the doorframe.
Heero decided now would be the best time to alert his friends about all the facts concerning the mission. "Says we're the newest up and coming boy band called Xtreme! We also get new identities."
Wufei rolled his dark eyes. "I have a feeling I'm going to hate this," he muttered.
"Duo, you're DJ, 'Dane Jason' Mitchells."
The American pilot shrugged. "Cool, at least I don't have to worry about my initials!"
Heero nodded as he continued, "Um, Wufei is Coal Lee."
"Coal Lee?! What kind of weak name is that?!" Wufei said as he arched an eyebrow.
"Trowa, your name is Travis Sharp," the Perfect Soldier announced, receiving a nod from the quiet pilot for an answer.
Heero frowned at the name he was about to read but thought nothing of it. "Quatre you are Ali Gene."
The blonde blinked and then shrugged, "It's okay I guess. What's your name Heero?"
The stoic pilot gritted his teeth as he answered. "Chase Evers."
The Altron pilot nodded his head. "So we're a boy band called Xtreme! Consisting of the members DJ, Chase, Ali, Travis, and Coal? Someone shoot me now," he flatly stated.
Duo cringed as he thought of the prospects of being a boy band. "It's not so bad Wu-man! We just have to pose as a boy band. We're not going to sing or anything," he grinned.
"Yes we will," Heero dryly stated as the other pilots spun around to face the teen that said the worst thing possible.
"Come again?" Duo choked, as he grew even paler.
The Perfect Soldier sighed as he glanced up from his laptop. "We have one month to learn how to sing and dance before the mission is to officially begin."
Everyone else dropped their jaws, mindlessly gaping at their friend. "ABORT THE MISSON NOW!" they shouted in unison. Unfortunately the stoic pilot shook his head. Besides Dr. J had trained/programmed the teen to the point where he'd have a stuttering problem if Heero even attempted to say the words "Mission aborted," or anything resembling a simple no concerning an appointed mission. Generally speaking, the pilots were stuck.
"Can't do it. This is one mission we are forced to do whether we like it or not."
Duo was in a state of shock as he plastered one of his small deadly smirks on his face while his eyes filled with a vacant look. Calmly he began speaking. "Heero, remember all those times you told me you'd kill me?"
The teen nodded his head.
Suddenly the Deathscythe Hell pilot slid to his knees and handed his own gun to his friend. "Do it now! PLEASE JUST KILL ME!"
Quatre sighed as he pulled the frantic pilot to his feet with the assistance of Trowa. "Duo! Get a hold of yourself!" the Arabian exclaimed.
"BUT I CAN'T SING!" The American cried out at the top of his lungs.
Wufei snickered at the panicking pilot. "Ha! The weak braided baka is afraid of singing!"
"We have to sing and dance?! Did we die in a battle, not knowing it and this is actually hell?" The green-eyed teen sighed. He hated the idea of becoming a boy band more than anything.
Quatre bent his head down, covering his face with his hands before looking back up. "You know, maybe Duo has the right idea.... HEERO KILL ME! PLEASE! PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY!" he begged, dropping to his knees as he placed his own gun in the other pilot's hands that blinked.
"Quatre, I'm not going to kill you or anyone else in here," Heero bluntly said as he gave the gun back to the upset teen, "and no suicide attempts!"
The other three pilots sighed defeatedly. What did they do to deserve this?! If this is some cleaver plot formed by OZ to drive them insane, it was working.
"Hn. Oh crap. We have to get some new um, clothing," the Prussian blue-eyed pilot cringed at the screen as his friends raced for the computer, colliding into each other.
Wufei's jaw about hit the keyboard as he stared in disbelief at his new 'look' consisting of army pants, black combat boots, and a black leather vest. "There is no way I am wearing that! Injustice!"
"You mean guys actually wear that?!" the aquamarine blue-eyed teen gaped at the wardrobe 'he' was wearing which was none other than a pair of dark jeans, a frilly looking light blue shirt and a tan leather jacket.
"Wait! I have to get a tattoo? Double injustice!" the Chinese teen scoffed, staring at the screen.
Duo appeared horrified, as his eyes grew extremely wide. "I have to wear pink! Bright shiny pink! And Zebra print pants! Whoever is in charge of costumes needs to be dragged out in the street and shot!" the pilot grumbled regarding the sparkly black and white fuzzy zebra print pants teamed up with a shiny hot pink shirt with darker pink strips falling down it, unbuttoned with a white tank top under it.
The green-eyed circus performer wasn't too happy with his clothes either, but had to admit, they were a little better than his clown costume. A little. That statement however doesn't imply much considering a garbage bag would look better than his circus costume. Sadly he was shown wearing ultra-baggy royal purple nylon sweat pants with his underwear hanging out and a black tank top with a glittery dragon plastered on the front in gold with sneakers. "Um, why does my underwear need to be hanging out? Is that some strange turn-on that I'm not aware of?! And how am I supposed to walk with pants that huge?!" he asked with an arched eyebrow. The people in charge had to be insane.
Heero was cringing relentlessly. His clothing was so hideous, resembling a clubby reject. Tight black leather pants, and a bright blue hologram shirt covered in silver sequins buttoned up loosely, untucked. The wardrobe person really needed to be shot or enlisted into a mental institution.
THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD.
"Wufei, stop. Knocking yourself senseless is not going to do any good," Trowa said to his friend who was repeatedly slamming his head against the wall.
THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. THUD. "Yeah, but maybe if I can make myself comatose, then it'd be impossible for me to do this stupid mission."
"Is this even a real mission? I mean is there a point to all this madness?!" Quatre asked hoping it was nothing more than a cruel joke.
The Perfect Soldier sighed hating the idea as much as the others. "It's a real mission. The description reported that we'll find out more about it as we progress."
"Hey, we have to report to Soduh Pop Records at 4, gulp, in dress?!" Duo said from Heero's laptop as he scrolled to the bottom of the screen.
Heero spun around and shoved the chestnut brown-haired pilot off his seat. "Hands off," he grumbled. This was after all, computer number 3. The first one died by gunshot wound, pronounced dead on the spot. Laptop number two died at the hands of Duo, sending the poor computer up in smoke as sparks began flying. Quite an impressive explosion the electronic device created.
"Looks like we have to go shopping now," the green-eyed teen flatly pointed out. 'Oh this is going to be long day.' he thought with a frown.
Duo blinked and then pouted. 'But do we have to get the same exact stuff?! I don't wanna wear pink! Pink's evil!"
"Maxwell, stop whining," the Chinese pilot rolled his eyes as he rubbed his aching head. Perhaps Trowa was right. That was a very stupid thing to do.
"We have three hours before we need to be at the studio. So let's hit the mall, they should have some cheesy stuff, " Heero muttered as he printed out the directions.
With grumbles, the five gundam pilots stalked out the door of Heero's room followed by the apartment door on the quest to find the cheesiest clothing possible, before reporting to their newest form of torture, the record studio.
*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: Well what do you think? This is going to get a lot more insane. I have plenty planned for the GW boys. hehehe
There is also a reason for this insanity as well. You'll just find out towards the end.
Next Time
The GW boys go shopping and meet the insane people at Soduh Pop.
Now
Interview With a Gundam Pilot
::zoom in to SJ sitting on a plush chair opposite a shadowed figure::
SJ: Welcome to "Interview With a Gundam Pilot!" This week's guest is Quatre Raberba Winner! Welcome Quatre ^_^
Quatre: ::blinks:: Uh, Thank you. ::whispers:: Why are we doing this SJ?
SJ: I needed some new material not to mention I think this is a really awesome idea! ^_^
Quatre: Uh huh. It's the sugar again. -_-
SJ ::glares:: Shut up. I thought you were supposed to be the nice one!
Quatre: I am. ^_^ So um, what do you want to ask me? ::looks nervous::
SJ: Just a little of this and a little of that. ^_^
Quatre: Oh, okay ^_^ ::takes a sip of tea::
SJ: So the first question everyone is dying is know is, Why do you always wear pink?
Quatre: ::chokes on his tea and sputters as he tries to talk:: I don't know what you are talking about? ^_^;;
SJ: ::leans forward:: Come on. You know very well all your dress shirts are pink. So what gives? Do you like the color or something?
Quatre ::blinks and turns red:: Um, actually I really suck at laundry and kinda turned all of my white shirts pink. My father refused to replace them since they were so expensive. Never ever wash red with white! hehehe ^_^;;;
SJ: Uh huh. Interesting.
Quatre: ::blinks again:: Wait. So that question everyone has been dying to know is why my shirts are pink?!
SJ: ::glances down at her notebook:: Truthfully, yeah. ^_^
Quatre: O.o;;;
SJ: Oh! New question! If you're an Arabian, why are you a blonde?
Quatre: Um, hehe, I kinda had a little incident as a child with some really strong peroxide. It soaked into my scalp turning all my hair blonde. ^_^';;
SJ: O_O
Quatre: Strange yeah, but it happened.
SJ: ::blinks:: O-kay. Um, why do you speak English/Japanese if you're an Arabian? How were you able to understand everyone including the other gundam pilots?
Quatre: ::frowns:: Well, in school we had to take English/Japanese so there would be no language barriers.
SJ: And every*one* mastered this?! Including Duo?! ::blinks::
Quatre ::turns redder:: Um, hehehe, Not as believable huh? Fine! Those who have not mastered world linguistics use these neat little translators, which make the person, have the ability to understand and speak in different languages.
SJ: ::nods:: And who exactly has the translators? Do you?
Quatre ::shakes head: No, my father made sure I could speak at least forty different languages by the time I hit secondary school. Whoever is wearing a turtleneck or a shirt with a high collar has one. It affects your vocal cords.
SJ: So that is Trowa and Duo?
Quatre: Yep. They had to stay away from quite a few electronic devices though otherwise they'd transmit the Spanish futbol games and other television shows. It was funny hearing the two shout "GOOOOOAAAAAL!" though. And the commercials were quite funny too. I'll never forget when Duo asked, "Have you ever had that not so fresh feeling?" in Spanish! ::they start snickering:: We about died laughing although Trowa singing this one children's show's theme song was hilarious in itself! He used a really pitched voice! ::SJ about loses it trying to imagine Trowa sing in a high-pitched voice:: Fortunately they have remarkibly learned the other languages so those devices are no longer needed.
SJ: ::wipes a tear away:: That was a great story Quatre. So do you really play the violin?
Quatre: Uh, I can fake it! They play a tape in the background when I am supposed to be playing.
SJ: ::blinks:: Wait, your performances are dubbed?!
Quatre: Yep, I prefer the electric guitar myself. Or the drums! Drums are cool because they make a lot of noise! ::blinks:: What did I just say?
SJ: Sorry, looks like you were channeling Duo for a minute ^_^;;
Quatre: ::shudders:: Creepy O_o;;;
SJ: Okay, new question! You have 29 sisters right? ::Quatre nods:: How in the world were you able to get in any bathroom time especially in the morning?!
Quatre: O.o
SJ: Well?
Quatre: Um, we had a really big mansion and a lot of bathrooms. I didn't exactly live with all of them at once though.
SJ: ::nods:: But don't they all come during the holidays?! It must take enough food to feed a large army!
Quatre: Uhhhh, not all of my sisters come. No because then it'd be a fire hazard. hehe. ::is clearly sweating the questions now::
SJ: ::has a smirk on her face:: Okay time to get a little personal. Quatre, tell me, what do you really think of Dorothy's eyebrows?
Quatre: ::blinks:: What do I think of Dorothy's eyebrows? I think she needs to fix them! They're awful! We've tried to be nice by giving her little coupons for waxing at salons and have even resorted to throwing tweezers in her bag, sending her hair removal products at her home, but she still doesn't take the hint. ::sighs::
SJ ::snickers:: Okay, another question, why do you guys talk to your gundams?
Quatre: O.O
SJ: Come on, we have all heard you. All five of you talk to your gundams!
Quatre: ::turns red:: Um, we don't have any pets and well, we have grown quite fond of our gundams! Anyway you talk to your car, computer, and yourself for that matter! So you're really one to talk! ::crosses his arms::
SJ: -_-;; Uh heh. Anyway, we have run out of time so be sure to come back next week for my interview with the 02 pilot Duo Maxwell! ^_^ bye bye!
Quatre: Poor Duo u_u
SJ: Quatre, stifle it! Uh hehehe, Cut!
*~*~*~*
Author's Notes: I hope this was a little funny. I decided interviewing the guys at the end would be fun. Anyway if anyone has any questions for the guys feel free to ask and I'll decide if I can do them or not. I figured the pink shirt thing would be good, I mean how many of us have actually turned something the wrong color simply by washing it?
Next Week
Interview With Duo Maxwell
Duo: Help!