AN- Set during the beginning of season 2, before Snow and Emma fall through Jefferson's hat into the Enchanted Forest. Could be seen as a bit of an AU.
Disclaimer- Once Upon a Time me no own-ey.
There are nights she struggles with it. Nights where she sees her husband, her true love, and doesn't see Charming.
She sees David Nolan.
She looks at him, expecting to see the look in his eyes of the pure love he holds for her, and she doesn't see it for a moment. She sees David Nolan, and she sees her own pain; the pain he caused her. Of course, this is just her imagination (she thinks). The love she doesn't see for that split second is actually there in his eyes, but she's flashing back to false promises and empty hopes.
But then she snaps out of it, and David Nolan is gone like a ghost, replaced by her husband.
And then she excuses herself, because though she sees Charming again, she had that moment where David Nolan was back- And that's too much to bear (even though they're all both, even though every person in town is both, and Charming had said it himself; Snow White is Mary Margaret, Regina is the Evil Queen, Red is Ruby- And Charming is David Nolan. She knows it, but she chooses to ignore it. David Nolan is gone to her, fully replaced by Charming- He'll never be both. At least, that's what she tells herself).
When she leaves her husband, she finds a quiet spot. She has many quiet spots; whether it's an alley (if they were out and about), the bathroom in Granny's (if they were grabbing a bite to eat), or Emma's bedroom (if they were just relaxing at home and their daughter happened to be out), she's prepared for her oncoming emotions (anger, fear, frustration, pain).
She cries. She's never told anyone about her flashbacks to David Nolan, and so she's never told anyone about her crying bouts over it. She doesn't want to admit that what David Nolan did to her still throbs like an open wound with salt poured over it, because she knows Charming would be devastated to learn of her struggling (and because she hates herself for being so weak)-
So she doesn't say anything.
There are nights he struggles with it. Nights where he sees his wife, his true love, and doesn't see Snow White.
He sees Mary Margaret.
More specifically, he sees the pain he caused Mary Margaret when he was David Nolan.
He led her on, lied to her, and even briefly believed she was capable of murder (back then, he thought it was perfectly understandable- the evidence was stacked against her, and he even had a memory of her saying she was going to kill 'her'. Of course, the memory wasn't about Kathryn, but how was he to know that then? But now, now that he's Charming again, he is absolutely horrified with what he did).
He's disgusted with himself. More specifically, disgusted with David Nolan. David Nolan was selfish, and not only lied to Mary Margaret, but to his wife during the curse, Kathryn. She had been hurt as well, and Charming feels he can't apologize enough to the both of them for what he did.
One night, they're sitting on their bed, cuddling, and Charming looks down at her with so much love in him he thinks his heart could burst.
And then she looks up at him, and for a moment, her eyes cloud over with pain. Deep pain.
But then she plasters on a smile that, even though he knows it's fake, still looks beautiful on her.
"Would you excuse me for a moment?" She's says gently, like she's trying her hardest to sound fine, but he hears it; pain, pain, pain. She slips off the bed, and he hears her retreating footsteps up the stairs towards Emma's room.
He's not an idiot. He knows, every time she goes away like that, that she's remembering. Remembering David Nolan, and remembering betrayal.
But he knows she doesn't want to talk about it (and, if he's being honest with himself, he really doesn't want to talk about it either), and he can't cause her even more pain than he already has-
So he doesn't say anything.
On one of those nights; the really bad ones, where Snow sees David Nolan and Charming remembers the pain he caused-
They both decide they've had enough.
Snow sits on a closed toilet seat in the bathroom of Granny's, her meal most likely too cold to even be enjoyable anymore, and she wipes a tear off her face. The pain has quieted down again, and she finds that this time, there's a feeling she's never had after these incidents.
Usually, when she's done crying, she feels a bit empty inside (not to even mention the self-loathing she feels, loathing for her own weakness and self-pity and there's so much hatred directed towards herself sometimes it physically hurts). The hole is easily filled when she leaves and sees Charming again- sees he's real, and there, and decidedly not David Nolan anymore (though he really is David Nolan, he's half of him as much as Mary Margaret is half of her, but she doesn't want to believe it).
But this time, she has this determined feeling inside. She's a bit surprised by it, really, but at the same time, she's not. She knew that she couldn't continue on like this, crying at random times where she thought for the briefest of moments that David Nolan was back.
And this determination drives her to do one thing.
Steeling herself for what she plans to do, Snow stands from the toilet seat and marches back into the dining area of Granny's.
When Snow excuses herself to go to the bathroom, Charming watches her with sad eyes. She rushes hurriedly away, and the memories come flooding back to him.
Lying.
Cheating.
Hurting.
He takes a calming breath, trying to keep the images away as best he can.
A car, Mary Margaret's car, a word written in red spray paint across the windows.
'Stop it!' He tells himself, trying so hard not to get caught up in the pain. 'You can't be weak like this: you have to stay strong for your family, for Snow!'
"I remember," he tells her, tells Mary Margaret, letting her know that he remembers everything about his time with Kathryn. Her face falls.
He closes his eyes, hoping to think of something, anything else.
A hand is placed on his shoulder, and he jumps. Red jumps back, an apologetic look on her face.
"Sorry!" She apologizes quickly, "I just thought- well, you looked… Do you need anything?" She ends her flustered stuttering, a bit surprised with how startled Charming was at the touch. It wasn't like him.
Charming sighs, waving a hand, "No, I'm fine… Thanks," he adds the last word almost like an afterthought, caught up in grief for Snow and her pain.
Red looks like she wants to say something else, but she can tell he doesn't want to talk and so she walks away, casting glances at him as she serves the other diners.
After she walks away, Charming knows something has to change. Snow is in pain, he's in pain, and he knows that it's just unhealthy for them to continue on like this.
So, his face set in his unwavering resolve, he waits for his wife to come back. They need to talk about what had happened before the curse was broken, and sort things out together.
Not two minutes later, Snow strides out of the bathroom, looking like she has something she needs desperately to say (and she does), and he stands to greet her.
Before Charming can even get a word out, she's standing in front of him, her voice resolute.
"Charming, we need to talk," she says, looking up at him to see his reaction, "about what happened when you were David Nolan."
And Charming smiles, thinking one thing-
Maybe it could all work out after all.
Happy endings are, of course, something they've both believed in for a very long time.
AN- Wow, my first venture into the Once Upon a Time fandom! This feels a bit momentous! I'm excited (yet somehow completely terrified at the same time)
Anyways, I'd like to introduce myself to the OUaT fans out there reading this, so... Hi! I'm very excited to be in this fandom, and I hope this was a good first piece for OUaT!
Now, since this is my first venture into this fandom, I'd really like to know one thing: Were the characters OOC? Since I haven't written Snow White and Charming before (not to mention that little appearance from Red), I'm a bit unsure how I did. Any constructive criticism you have would be fantastic!
(and now a quick note for anyone reading this who has been waiting for me to write something in my "normal" fandoms) Well, hi! If you clicked this and came all the way down here for an update, who am I to disappoint? So, lately, I've had a hard time with writing. I just felt like everything I was writing was not of the best quality I could produce, but I kept trying. Eventually, I decided to try another fandom, hence this oneshot. THIS DOESN'T MEAN I'VE ABANDONED MY OTHER STORIES/FANDOMS. Just that I'm trying other fandoms to spark my interest in writing back up. I'll get back to my incomplete stories when I get the inspiration for them again: if I tried writing before that, what I wrote wouldn't be the best quality I could produce. Thanks for understanding :)
Thanks for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! :D