Invasion Of The Tu Tu's!
By
Miklusca
Rating: T
Warnings: Langauge. Au. Slight Racist Overtones.
Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or the characters.
Feedback: Please Read & Review...or I'll sick Sephiroth after you.
Summary: Sephiroth, the monster that tried destroying the world is being haunted. Haunted by something so sinister, something so terrorfying. TU TU'S !
Chapter One: The only chapter here
It was a few years after the fight with the almighty, nut job Sephiroth and his ugly ass momma. No one thought he would be able to come back, but no one forsaw some junked up devil worshippers screwing some poor Chocobo and a new Sephiroth hatched from that egg.
The new Sephiroth didn't seem to have the same thirst of killing all people, just those of a different color...and Chocobo lovin. But now he was leaving a strip joint that had animals shaven and pawing around, and he needed to beat up Cloud for some relief.
On his way to that little run down bar, Sephiroth sighed, cracking his knuckles. "I have lost my way mother. My mother Jenova, not that damn bird. Anyways, send me a sign, I need to know what I should do with my life." He said aloud and opened the door to the bar.
It was empty except a few large Tu Tu's drinking some kind of alcohol. Sephiroth raised an eyebrow and the corner of his eye twitched. 'Tu Tu's? Is this a sign? I loath the fuckers.' He thought. The green Tu Tu turned around and looked at him with jiggle eyes.
"Hey Fred, look it's a metrosexual." The green one said and the blue one also looked back.
"Hey, you look better than my wife." The blue one slurred and with a growl, Sephiroth cut them both in half.
He turned his back to leave but heard a moan and looked over his shoulder. The two Tu Tu's were melting back together like on T2 and sounded like the two scary twins in Stephen King's original Shining.
"Come play with us Sephiroth." The deep male voices were placed by girls.
"What the hell? Did that queer Cloud send you? Or was is that jungle bunny Barret?' Sephiroth asked.
"Don't be so racist you pale, freakish peice of shit! Your momma sent us to take care of you because of your views." The two said.
"I think you're bullshitting me." Sephiroth said and took out a bazooka, blowing up the two Tu Tu's. "Have a nice fucking day."
He left the bar and blew it up sky high, then decided to walk around the crumbling city for wondering birds. Sephiroth walked past the broken down church and paused after he thought he heard something.
"Sephitroth..." A female voice called.
Curious he walked in and seen a pink Tu Tu that supiciously looked like Aeris.
"Ah Christ." Sephiroth sighed.
"Sephiroth, your mother is very pissed off at you." The Tu Tu said and then brought out a mace. "You also killed me ya prick!" She screamed and swung at him.
"Damn it! I hate damn Tu Tu's!" He yelled and swung his long M sword.
"You can't kill me that easily again prick!" The Aeris Tu Tu screeched and got him in the croth with the spikey weopon.
"AAHHHH! You god damn whore!" He screamed and ripped the green jiggle eyes out of the Tu Tu then went limping off. Sephiroth healed his balls and shrieked like a little girl when the pink Tu Tu came flying out.
Out of nowhere hundreds of Tu Tu's came flying at him, all different colors and all bleeding from the eyes with razor sharp teeth and forked tongues.
"Brains! Brainssssssssss!" The Tu Tu's moaned.
"You are the worst son ever!" A Tu Tu looking like Jenova yelled and Sephiroth bawled.
The Tu Tu's grabbed him and he screamed, flailing his arms around as they croweded in.
A large truck came and some men jumped out, taking him. Cloud and the gang looked on as Sephiroth was taken away to his new home with a padded cell.
"Well that's no suprise." Vincent said and looked at Cloud. "They must have missed you." He said and walked away.
"You brooding little bitch!" Cloud yelled and growled when a purple Tu Tu started humping his back.
"Well at least I'm getting something from my hallucinations." Cloud whispered and they all walked off into the ruined city.
End of the retardedness.