By past standards of Jeff making Annie cry, this latest example wasn't really that bad. But it was the most puzzling.
To Annie, she and Jeff were just having a normal one-on-one study session after classes in the study room. Jeff needed these from her about once every two weeks, and she was getting better at not making them more awkward than usual. This one was pretty quiet and uneventful – in fact, the first time anything really happened was when Dean Pelton came barging by in his usual fashion.
Given that Valentine's was a few days away, it wasn't that notable to see Pelton dressed in full on Cupid garb – complete with a heart shaped hat on his head, a white robe, something that hopefully only looked like a diaper, and a collection of dangerous arrows. The whole routine was desensitizing by now, right down to his "Happy early Dean-entine's Day!" greeting and his none too subtle hints that he hoped Jeff would be his Valentine's companion.
It got a bit off script when Jeff didn't respond with his usual dead-pan jokes, however. Instead, he actually lost his temper and let out a series of biting remarks that didn't sound snarky or sarcastic in the least. He actually sounded genuinely ticked off and furious at the Dean, who finally left without even making one last pun.
Then when Annie objected to Jeff being meaner than usual at the Dean, he turned his anger on her. Again, the concept of Jeff taking out his frustration on Annie wasn't really new. But they hadn't kissed and she hadn't done anything this time to make him retreat from….whatever he felt about her, so she was pretty confused. She was just upset at him for putting Dean Pelton down so badly, and was arguing that he wasn't so bad enough to deserve that – typical forgiving Annie behavior. It was also typical that Jeff would attack Annie for once again defending someone who was an indefensible jackass.
Yet instead of just calling her naïve or childish for it, he actually got mad enough to say she was just so "willfully stupid."
Of all the lies he told himself about Annie, this was one of the lower blows. Being called naïve and childish had lost its sting, yet he had never called her stupid before – and neither had anyone else on this planet. To her credit, at least Annie waited until she took her books and was far enough from the study room to cry over it.
Once she was satisfied that she was far enough from Jeff, Annie stopped running and started to wipe her eyes. The tears were still coming, although she was calm enough now to think in the meantime.
She had understood Jeff's other jerky outbursts – or at least had enough to go on to assume she did. But to have Dean Pelton's by far least elaborate Valentine's Day come-on set Jeff off like that, and have him use so many low blows against him and her…..this would be the hardest Jeff freak out to just forgive and forget and brush aside like always.
And the fact that she would wind up forgiving, forgetting and brushing aside how he called her stupid just made her feel worse about herself too. As the tears came down again, Annie turned a hallway corner just looking for somewhere to sit down and start her usual Jeff despair.
"Hey, this is my Jeff crying corner, go find your own!"
Speaking of Jeff despair, it seemed Dean Pelton was acting his out by crying in what seemed to be a designated hallway corner. Since he was lying on his side in the fetal position, Annie was lucky she didn't step on him while lost in her own little world. In fact, she would be more concerned that in his position, the Dean could possibly look up her…..lower attire, if he wasn't…..whatever he was. Nevertheless, Annie still insisted "Okay, you'd probably do a better job guarding it if you were standing up, so…." Somehow, the Dean stopped his crying jags long enough to actually get on his feet.
"Did he say that even hair is too grossed out to hang out with you too?" Dean Pelton asked. "Because that would make it the most convincing wig I've ever seen," he added, pointing to Annie's hair. "It certainly couldn't have come from the shops in this state…..I can only assume…..so I guess you went to Zimbabwe for it?"
"He said I was stupid for defending you," Annie said, only having the energy to correct the Dean's first question. "He's never called me that before….not even when I defended Pierce last year…."
"What? I find that very hard to believe….I mean, that's the least offensive but true thing to call you for defending Pierce last year! The things he did to me in Dungeons and Dragons….I still can't look at my bellybutton without having nightmares on what his dragon did to it! But of course since I didn't want to off myself, Jeff didn't bring you guys together to save me, did he?" As offensive and gross as the first two parts of that answer were, Annie was sad that the last part was more upsetting than offensive.
"It's always one step forward, two steps back with him….and the steps back aren't getting any easier. And there's still a year-and-a-half left for him to top himself again," Annie realized. "Is that how he wants to spend it? Experimenting on how much he can upset me or dismiss me until I've had enough? Of all the ways he could….experiment with me, that's how he wants to do it?"
"I know! You invade a few privacies and hack a few therapist's e-mails to figure out how to please him, and that's what you get? I've risked Gitmo for a lot more grateful people than that, believe me!" Dean Pelton argued. Again, Annie tried to ignore the creepy illegal stuff to focus on his larger point. But that in turn reminded her of how Jeff laid into her for ignoring creepy stuff and treating the likes of Pelton and Pierce like human beings.
Did Jeff get set off because he was guilty over how Annie forgave him and…..cared for him despite his screw ups too? That wouldn't be all that new for him, but it still didn't explain how he was more over the top than usual. If anything, he should be less overboard with his jerky behavior by now after almost three years…..but it either stayed the same or got worse every so often. And with about a year-and-a-half left, how would he top himself in putting her down or breaking her heart? And how much harder would it get to justify sticking around to let him try?
"Why do we put up with it?" Annie found herself asking the Dean. "Why do we let ourselves get let down by him over and over again?"
"Whoh whoh, let's not get blasphemous here, sister," Dean Pelton warned. "You want to concede him, fine, that's less for me to worry about. But don't ask questions like that because you haven't forgiven him yet! That leads to questions you don't want to answer while crying yourself to sleep for three Jeff-free summer months!"
"Dean, if we compared rotten summers that Jeff caused, we'd be here all night," Annie pointed out.
"So I can leave, then? Good, because I've got apology songs to write and sing outside his apartment. Say, Kanye won't cap me if I sample his lyrics, right? Then again, he likes interrupting young white ladies, so it's not like he'd listen to you if you ratted me out…." Dean Pelton considered.
"Dean, I'm serious!" Annie reassured. "We just keep putting it aside in the long run whenever he puts us down. How much longer can we keep giving him chances to cross the line for good? Whether he means to or not, he acts like he wants us to hate him or leave him alone….although I know that's not what he really wants. He's just scared that….oh God, see, I'm doing it again! I almost forgave him then and there, even when he's done nothing to really deserve it! Just like always!"
"Hold on, you call his Winger speeches of apology nothing? Would I have four of them fully transcribed from my secret study room video tapes, and hanging on my walls, if they were nothing?" Dean Pelton asked before he knew what he was really saying. "Wait, you know that by study tapes I meant audio bugs, right? And by audio bugs I actually meant….no wait, I actually have those planted in there too….wait, I can get this…"
"Okay, you and me and some lawyers have to talk at some point, but let's do this first," Annie conceded. "What if all he has are Winger speeches? They resolve whatever's going on every Thursday or so, but that's all they do! When has he ever said something lasting or meaningful that he doesn't just forget about by the next Thursday? As great as his words are, they aren't real lasting actions….but it's not like his actions are any less confusing or condescending or good at using their tongue!" Annie rambled before catching herself.
"Oh, poor you for getting tongue!" the Dean retorted. "While we're at it, poor you for getting the lips as a bonus! You already have his time, friendship, a whole bunch of other friends and cardigans that actually go with your eyes! I've got none of those, so I'll do the pitying around here, thank you!"
This time, Annie's ability to brush aside Pelton's odder words paid off with a deeper realization about the other ones.
"I'm sorry, Dean. You're right, you don't have as much as me….but I didn't either. I didn't have anyone at all before I came to Greendale….maybe that's why I got so hung up on Jeff and wouldn't let go. So I know what it must be like for you too….except you've made fewer friends than me in the meantime."
"Wow, the Winger speeches are already quaking above my bed and on my shower wall right now," Dean Pelton said with maximum sarcasm.
"I didn't mean it like that!" Annie clarified. "I meant that we're both fixated on Jeff because he makes us feel….less alone than we are. But I have more than just him now, and so do you. You have Greendale….you have a school that saved people like me from being alone and being handicapped by our pasts. You have a whole community that accepts you for when you're not the best, just like you said in that alternate ending to Abed's documentary!"
"Oh….you still remember that, then?" the Dean asked awkwardly. Since it took quite a lot of work for Annie to block out the NC-17 parts of that scene from her memory, she moved on before it was wasted after all. "The point is, you do have more in your life to be proud of than knowing Jeff Winger! If he doesn't see that, then maybe he's not worth worshipping to begin with."
"Hmm….despite how you still used lies as the punch line, that is strangely comforting," Dean Pelton admitted. "And….I suppose you have more to obsess over than Jeff, too, with friends that actually admit they love you and everything. Not to mention your A's bumped our grading curve and stopped Greendale from shutting down until March or April! Heck, you even put yourself through rehab before you needed Winger speeches to do anything! And you can actually guilt Jeff into doing things without needing blackmail! I have to admit, you're super easy to get jealous of, Annie….and for the first time, I say that as a complement, and not as something that'll make me spend hours reading Jeff speeches in the shower to cheer me up! It should just be 45 minutes tops tonight!"
"Well….thank you for most of that, Dean," Annie thanked, leaving out the shower parts and the part about Greendale almost being shut down – her mind wouldn't stay sane if she dwelled on those right now. "So, we're cured of being Jeffrey crazy now, right?" Pelton checked.
Unfortunately, Annie couldn't say what she really wanted to say – especially since she only just now wanted to say yes. "No, probably not…." she admitted, to which Pelton replied, "Oh good, now I don't have to fake a no just to back you up. I can fake a great many things with girls, but faking with one I actually respect/just stopped wanting to bump off is a bit trickier."
Now Annie was wondering if brushing past the Dean's jealousy was undermining her new efforts to not let Jeff off the hook. But she still made an effort anyway, since she was too far gone now. "Look, Jeff will always keep teasing us, but maybe that's all he has….teases. And maybe just letting him skate by until he makes up his mind on who he wants to be….and who he wants to do it with….isn't a winning formula anymore. So let's stop it right here. Let's hold his jackbutt moments against him until he does something to deserve our forgiveness….something more than a speech or another temporary gesture! If he thinks we're too stupid to like people like him, let's smarten up until he's truly earned the right to make us stupid again! I mean, we deserve the right to get smarter, don't we?"
"What?" Dean Pelton asked after Annie was met with silence for five seconds. "Oh, you wanted me to pretend with you now? Well, you've got to tell me that in advance! I mean, if I can't read the thoughts off Jeff's hair follicles, how can I translate yours from….what Jewish word that can't get me sued can I use again?"
"You can figure it out and keep it to yourself on the way," Annie said. "Even after I said all that, I know I need a real….b-word session to keep me fired up. How about we go somewhere and bad mouth Jeff until we feel better about not crawling back to him yet?"
"Ooh, I know just the place! But you….don't have the right qualifications for the guest list, so we'll have to go to a coffee shop instead. It's okay, I'll get you hooked on woodpecker Plushie costumes yet!" Dean Pelton promised.
"Okay…..let's just focus on staying firm with Jeff first," Annie offered. "Should I meet you there after you change clothes?"
"Nah, the diaper fits better than I thought, so I'm good." In spite of that answer, Annie didn't object to him following her out anyway.
The prospect of being seen in public outside of Greendale with Cupid Pelton actually didn't fill Annie with dread. Maybe she was just too desperate to find someone that would help her get over Jeff's jackbutt behavior, and remind her not to forgive him as easily as usual. Maybe this was rock bottom before she was ready to make Jeff put in a real lasting effort to be her friend, or something else. But whatever it was, it would be nice to spend time with someone who appreciated her a full 100 percent tonight – even if it was her….Jeff rival or whatever he was.
"Come on, let me go back and kill him just once!" That was….an out of nowhere thing to imagine hearing. "At least let me hack off a limb and rub it on his bald head!"
"Jeff?" Annie questioned before she realized she had to hide very quickly.
"Thank God Jeffrey wants to kill another bald man now! I was never fond of Leonard, really." Somehow, Annie dragged the Dean over to the nearest closet while he said this, and then got them both inside before Jeff stormed down the halls. By the time Annie and Pelton got into position in the closet and peeked out, they could see the group narrowly holding Jeff back further in the hallway.
"Jeffrey, unless you want to covert to God and smite the Dean in His name, I'm pretty sure you can't do it. So…what does that tell you to do?" Shirley pressed/tried to convert.
"Come on, if I can't cut off an arm, it just leaves castration! And you already made it clear you're not going to…..hold him down for me!" Jeff stated as the rest of the group cringed. Annie didn't even want to know what face the Dean was making at that, but at least he was keeping quiet.
"Even if by some chance you find something to castrate, this is still all your fault, you know!" Britta scolded.
"No, it's not all his fault. It's partly mine. I should have foreseen him messing up this badly, but I didn't," Abed ran off.
"Wow, long way to go to avoid a thank you, Abed," Jeff shot back.
"We all have to admit the signs were there. Too many things were going well for this to last. First you finally admit to yourself you want to be with Annie after all this time. Then you decide to confront the group one by one and get all their issues with it out of the way before you tell her. You breeze through me and Pierce, successfully get Britta on your side after an all-night talk, then get Shirley on your side over two nights. Then you tell Troy last this morning since he can't keep a secret, and thus you set up a solo study session with Annie this afternoon to ask her out. Logically, with your track record and the traditional romcom rules, something should have derailed your plans by the time you got to Shirley. You lashing out at the Dean for arriving a half-second before you confessed, and then taking it out on Annie….I should have guessed it days ago, but I wanted to believe you'd cracked the romcom code. Curse this romantic heart of mine," Abed finished as deadpan as ever.
In contrast, Annie couldn't make any kind of sound, even if she could do so without giving herself away.
"Or let's go with the simpler explanation. The Dean interrupted me just when I was ready to….say what I was going to say, and he made me lose it from there. And with that, holding him down myself before he comes clean off doesn't sound so bad anymore," Jeff concluded.
"Jeffrey! First of all, as a veteran of….thinking those kinds of thoughts, I can tell that you have no imagination. Second of all, you can't even say that you were going to tell Annie how you felt anymore! You're using this setback to go back into your feelings hidey hole!" Shirley argued.
"Really? I thought me calling Annie stupid made that clear, but thank you for that last little clue!" Jeff said in full sarcastic mode.
"Okay, listen here, Winger!" Britta started. "I was going to spend a perfectly nice night….relaxing my brain until you barged in and sold me on you and Annie! And I had some really good….relaxing tools that went bad because of it! You put me through too much to just give up now….oh, and Annie too, I guess. So you'd better get back on your feelings train and pour your heart out like we planned!"
"Britta, it took everything I had just to tell you guys, and to get myself ready to tell her today," Jeff explained. "After this….all I can do is just get her to forgive me, and brush this latest screw up aside like usual. Then who knows when I'll have the strength to try again."
"Jeff, you promised me I'd only have to keep your secret today," Troy reminded. "Do you know how many of Abed's Cougar Town episodes I remembered in my brain to keep me distracted and laughing?" So that explained why he had more out-of-nowhere laughing fits than usual. "They're only funny enough to keep my brain busy for 20 more reruns, Jeff! 20! If you drag this into March, I can't be held responsible for my actions!"
"Okay, then it's settled. Troy, you stay over with Jeff tonight and motivate him to blab, then we come back tomorrow and try again!" Britta tried to salvage.
"I don't know….maybe this is what I get. You barely kept me from remembering that I would just keep doing this to her after….talking to her. If I crossed the line like that before I…..you know, you know I'd just find new lines afterwards, you know? If I got thrown off by that….thing that lives in the Dean's office.…what real chance do I have to stop breaking her over and over again? If it was in me to stop, we'd be in that closet making out by now!" Somehow, the only sound Annie made when Jeff pointed at the closet was a quiet gasp.
"Jeffrey, as cool as you made me be about you and Annie, I'd rather not hear about your dream making out yet, okay? Now go calm yourself down, and we'll get you brave enough to make out with her for real, and away from me, tomorrow," Shirley insisted.
"I got mad at her for caring about things she shouldn't once too often… it made me remember I'm one of those things. Now maybe she'll stop that before I even ruin her in a relationship….if she's lucky. But if you want me to look on the bright side of that tomorrow, knock yourself out." Since there was no talking to Jeff now, the group just sighed and got set to take him home.
But while his back was turned to the closet, Annie swore she heard Jeff sigh and let a little sniffle escape. Pierce was a little closer, yet before he could clarify what he saw or joke about it, Jeff beat him with, "Pierce, you've held off on tons of obvious gay jokes so far….please try to preserve a perfect game for once."
"For your information, I have too many good ones to waste on this little showdown. There's a fine science on when to let them out….maybe if you weren't more consumed with cutting off Dean dongs than loving poor gay hag Annie, you'd know that." Pierce then slapped his head in disgust, lamenting "Ugh, now what am I going to lead with on Friday? I guess you haven't shattered enough hearts today!"
Jeff seemed to be in no position to argue, as he just followed the group down the halls. Once they finally left Annie and the Dean's view, they were able to emerge from the closet and start talking about what they saw. At least they would if they could talk.
While the Dean had…..unique thoughts bouncing around about how Jeff wanted to manhandle him, Annie's thoughts were more frozen in place just like her. But after hearing that Jeff actually wanted to be with her, went and convinced the group not to object after all, and was a second away from asking her out today….it took quite a while for it all to register. When it ultimately did, the makings of Annie's biggest, happiest squeal built up in her stomach, then increased in volume as she started to jump up and down.
"OhmyGod, ohmyGod, ohmyGod!" Annie yelled in a blur. "Oh God, it's not too late, I can get to him in the parking lot and kiss him in front of the group! It's a Valentine's miracle!"
"What?" Dean Pelton finally spoke up. "But, but what about our vow to not take him back after hurting us?"
"Oh, we wouldn't have lasted and you know it!" Annie shot back, not caring about anything but Jeff kissing her anymore.
"But come on, what about, what about making him do things other than talking to earn us? What about not forgiving him after every hurtful thing? What about….what about some other thing that'll make you not take him back, and make him too busy with you to forgive me?" the Dean desperately asked.
"Well, um….I can try to put in a word for you, but….we might be a little busy," Annie admitted, as the love fog that clouded her brain started to break up a little bit.
"Great, now I have to hope that one word is enough to keep Jeff from 'holding me down' and not in the good way! Even if it is, he'll never forgive me, and now he'll be too busy sucking your face to try! And it's not like I can count on you to nag your boyfriend into showing mercy anymore! We both gave up our dignity to him and you're the only one that gets rewarded for it, so I guess mercy was already a long shot!" Pelton concluded as he got himself back into the fetal position.
Annie stopped jumping up and down and started looking critically at the whole thing again, although the temptation to just run over to Jeff and stop thinking was still pretty strong. Once it finally became manageable, the Dean climbed back on his feet and interrupted her thought process again. "Fine….you win."
"I did what?" Annie knew full well what he said and what he might have meant, but she needed to say something to make him elaborate.
"He hates me, and now that I'm cried out, I can see that I did kind of screw the both of you today. I can't make him feel better, and you were kind of the first person to ever help me with Jeffrey stuff. So if I have to give him to anyone, it might as well be you. Just….promise me that next time he wants to kill me and hate me forever….kiss him hard enough to forget about castrating me. You'll have to kiss him hard and hot enough for the both of us now!"
Although the Dean said he was cried out, he still let out a little sob or two as he conceded Jeff to Annie. However, Annie started to feel like she wasn't cried out herself. There really was no reason to feel that sad – if this was a woman conceding Jeff to Annie, she'd probably be too busy celebrating and making out with Jeff right now. And now that Annie knew how the Dean stopped Jeff from confessing to her, she should have wanted him….manless as much as Jeff did.
Yet try as she might, Annie couldn't forget how she empathized with him for being alone and being too hung up on Jeff for his own good. As nuts as he was, he was just lonely in a way that Annie still remembered all too well. None of that warranted Jeff hating him so much, even today…..yet he still hated him and took out his anger on Annie as well.
In fact, now that Annie knew the whole picture, it was even more inexcusable. He built himself up for days just to try and ask Annie out, planned everything to the letter and was finally ready to stop lying to himself…..but one interruption from the Dean made him throw that out and call Annie stupid.
Even when he tried to be romantic at last, he still screwed up and made her cry – and didn't maintain the guts to go back and be honest with her even after that. The group might still get him to try again, but it really shouldn't take that much to convince him anymore. Not if he was ready to come clean, and not after almost three years of delays.
But in spite of all that, Annie still wanted to go over there and kiss him and reward him for seeing the light and let his insult slide after all. Now that he had realized he wanted to be with her, it almost made everything else irrelevant. Yet the key word was almost.
Jeff was afraid all this time of being too big a jerk for Annie, and Annie had brushed that aside until now. Jeff was afraid of breaking Annie when he was too big of a jerk to handle, yet he did break Annie a little bit today. And even if they got together right now, he wasn't going to become perfect over night, as much as Annie had fantasized he would. He was still the same person who could make her and the Dean cry when he was in a rotten mood….even if he didn't want to be that rotten anymore.
These were all facts that Annie easily dismissed when she imagined them being together. But now that Jeff wanted it to happen too, he had to be held to a higher standard. For that matter, so did Annie's ability to excuse Jeff's worst qualities. And by that standard, just running back to him, forgetting about the worst insult he ever gave her…..and ignoring how unforgiving he still was to the Dean would not be a good start to their relationship. No matter how much she wanted not to care.
"Dean?" Annie asked when she realized Pelton was still standing there even after she spent the last several minutes pondering. "I don't want to kiss him hard enough for the both of us….not like this. Not unless there's some solution that'll help me forgive Jeff, make sure I don't keep letting him off the hook, show him I won't be broken if I'm with him, make sure he really, truly tries not to break me….and helps you try to be his friend again."
"Wowie…..that's very big of you, Annie. But unfortunately, if there was such a magic solution, I would have found it long ago," the Dean lamented. "Still, if you think there's something that'll make Jeffrey think being around me isn't torture, be my guest to find it!"
And then all of a sudden, it started to click. It didn't click entirely then and there, but Annie did find bits and pieces of a potential plan floating out there. Bits and pieces that might come together for a real solution if she knew how to connect them. "Maybe I can be your guest after all, Dean…."
Annie spent the rest of the night putting the bits and pieces together; and when she got home, she made sure to stay in her room so Troy and Abed wouldn't be tempted to give their "secrets" anyway. She spent the next day fine tuning her vision, then only had to wait one more day for Jeff to finally approach her. It seemed the group had finally gotten through to him, as he didn't even have a patented Winger speech for her. All he had was a simple apology, and a request to take her on a "non-platonic dinner" to finish apologizing to her. As it turned out, that fit in perfectly with what Annie had in mind.
She accepted the dinner date for tomorrow night, and even hugged him without trying to make out with him. The next night, she made sure to look her very best and get Jeff even more eager for the evening. Judging by how Jeff reacted to seeing Annie in her best sky blue dress, it was a rousing success. After that, they headed off to the designated restaurant for the evening.
And after they got in, Dean Pelton met them inside and proclaimed he was ready for "Dean-ner."
After Annie explained that Pelton would be joining her and Jeff, it took every ounce of strength and every eye-batting technique she had to keep Jeff from dragging her off to another restaurant. Following that, Jeff reluctantly paid for a dinner for three, although Annie had brought enough money to cover for the Dean. She also made sure that Jeff and Pelton sat together while she sat across from them as well.
After about a half-hour of the Dean chatting away, Jeff trying and failing harder than usual to tune him out, and Annie watching them without any expression, the Dean finally gave them a break by heading to the bathroom – and only dropping the word Dean in two bathroom names. With that added bit of mercy, he headed off and finally gave Jeff the chance to find out why Annie was torturing her.
"Annie, I didn't know I'd picked a restaurant in Hell for our date. Would you mind telling me why you and him are proving me wrong?" Jeff asked as politely as he could with clenched teeth.
"Because of the guy asking me that question. In English, that means you," Annie explained. "You called me stupid and you made him cry worse than usual….so I had to think of the best way to make you sorry. Turns out that's bringing him along on our date."
"Wait, so this….is all just revenge? You're going out with me tonight just to punish me? After all I went through?" Jeff said a bit less politely with clenched teeth.
"All you went through? See, there's why I needed to do this...if I didn't set the tone right now, our relationship really will be as rotten as you feared it would be," Annie pointed out.
"Is there an English translation for that too?" Jeff tried to figure out.
"Jeff, you called me stupid because I care about people like the Dean. But you really called me that for caring about you. You think you're too much of a cynical, selfish, bitter, old, slacker jackass to be with me, and that I can't handle any of it. If this is going to work, we need to start proving that wrong right now," Annie demanded.
"And where does making me Dean bait fit into all that?" Jeff nitpicked.
"The Dean helped me see a few things, like how I brush aside you being a jerk easier than I should. I have to hold myself to a higher standard now, and so do you….so we came up with a little system. You're going to screw up while we're together, there's no getting around that. But every time you really, really mess up….like with calling me stupid and everything.…you're going to have to spend time with the Dean until you get me to forgive you. Maybe suffering through that enough times will help you figure out how to stop doing it," Annie theorized.
"Wait….I have to go to dinner with him every time I really mess up?" Jeff tried to clarify.
"Dinner, karaoke, plushie conventions…..we'll decide where you go on a case-by-case basis. But don't worry, he won't manipulate either of us to get into fights. I let him know that my boyfriend knows where to get the best restraining orders if he does," Annie promised.
"You'd actually let me get one of those on him?" Jeff said a bit more excitedly.
"Only if he tricks us into fighting….and you can't make it look like he did either. Then it might take a few extra days for me to put him back in his Dean cage," Annie warned. "But that's the deal...if not wanting to see me upset isn't enough to make you stop doing it, maybe this'll make you get it right."
"Annie…" was all Jeff could mutter before any other words could come to mind. "I don't, you don't…..I don't want to stop hurting you just so I don't have to be around him…."
"I know. But even after you got the group's approval and planned to ask me out, you lashed out at me just because he threw you off. You don't want to upset me, but there's some scared, uncaring part of you that makes you do it anyway when I get too close. Now that I am closer, I have to take drastic measures like this to hold him off until you can." Jeff got thrown off by Annie admitting that she knew everything, so it took some effort to hear the rest.
"I still want to be with you….and maybe you're right to think I shouldn't be with someone like you. But you won't upset me so bad that I'll stop being me or I'll hate you….because every time you try, I'll know just how to get you back until you truly earn my forgiveness. This way, I get you and my self-esteem, you have another reason to keep me happy, and the Dean gets the time with you that I think you owe him anyway. But eventually, he won't be necessary once you get better….because you and me get to work together now to help you do it."
Now that Annie had revealed how she put her bits and pieces of ideas together, she capped it off with a smirk at a befuddled Jeff. "So, knowing all that, are you still willing to risk that kind of torture?" While she was smirking, Annie was still a bundle of nerves inside, hoping that she didn't scare Jeff off for good….and that showing such a devious, vengeful side to her would appeal to him as strongly as she hoped. It wasn't like Jeff didn't know it was there….but to show it even on this long awaited first date was hopefully impressive enough.
"Shirley's God, yes…." was all Jeff needed to say to show Annie that it was. But he still felt like pouring it on by getting out of his seat and kissing her. Yet Annie pulled back after indulging in that one kiss, since just one more would make her forget all about the Dean and make her run to Jeff's apartment then and there; which would undermine this entire operation.
"No, not yet…..God, not yet. We still have to finish dinner, and then you have to rest for when you escort both of us to the Valentine's dance," Annie informed him.
"What? Come on, you already won, do you have to run up the score? I'm already sorry and I proved it by being here and wanting you, what else is there?" Jeff pleaded.
"I need this to stick, Jeff! You can't sweep me off my feet and then screw up even worse next week, not like before! If I let everything keep sliding like that now, and I let you throw me off with speeches and…. intense kisses, then that'll set the tone for the entire relationship. Then I will just forgive and forget stuff until you go over the line, and you'll doubt yourself too much again….then wind up hurting me anyway. We've waited too long for this to let that happen, so we have to do this right," Annie insisted.
"I mean, do you think I fantasized having our first date with him all this time? But I put my first date dreams aside for the future of all our other dates, and to make him feel better! I know you're sorry now, but we've got to work together so you don't have to apologize and be with him more often. So let's get off to a perfect start here before I can completely forgive you….all right?" By showing just how much of an effort she was putting into this, and with a couple of tears on reserve just in case, Annie hoped Jeff got the point. His crestfallen face seemed to be a good sign in that direction.
"You're right….damnit, you got me," Jeff admitted before sitting back down in his seat. "God….why did I think I could ruin you again?"
"Because you can be pretty stupid, Jeff," Annie said matter-of-factly.
"Well, it took me long enough to be smart enough to see that. So I guess I do deserve him more than you right now….it won't always be that way, though," Jeff reassured. "I wish I could promise it will never be that way again….but I can promise right now it won't always be that way. Does that let you know just how…..well, how freaking sorry I am for….well, everything?"
"For now. You still can't ask for the check yet, though," Annie reminded him just as they both saw Dean Pelton finally come back.
"Ah, that cleared the old pallet. Now then, Jeff, I'd like to fill yours by finally telling you how I ranked the 101 Dalmatians in order! I think you'll be surprised who I have missing the top 20!" the Dean teased.
"You know what, Dean? I bet I would be…so I guess I have no choice but to take those odds," Jeff conceded. Pelton lit up and reached to get his list out of his pocket, while Annie smiled knowingly at Jeff and he was compelled to concede a little smile of his own. Annie then beamed at the Dean as he got his list out, happy to see him getting his moment with Jeff; and that it only involved listing G-rated Dalmatians. The Dean noticed her smile and gave her a very thankful glare of his own before reading his surprising rankings.
Jeff managed to keep his sanity around the Dean for the rest of the dinner, and even narrowly kept it when Annie just hugged him good night instead of kissing him. He even stood it when he walked arm-in-arm with both Annie and an even more elaborately costumed Cupid Dean at the Greendale Valentine's Dance a few days later.
Yet after Jeff actually let the Dean tango with him, Annie decided that he had sufficiently suffered enough this time. However, it turned out the Dean had the same idea.
"Oh, none of my six dream journals told me it would be like this!" the Dean celebrated after his tango with Jeff. "But my dreams wouldn't have come true if an…..exceptional woman didn't put aside making her Jeffrey dreams come true a while longer. But now I think she's waited long enough. And since I have enough to hold me over until the next time he's naughty in a bad way…." Dean Pelton then took Jeff's hand, and was actually able to make him hold on since he was taking him to Annie. "Annie, if Jeffrey has 'suffered' enough, may he have your next dance?"
"Oh yes, yes he has and can!" Annie squealed a bit louder than she meant to, before giving the Dean a brief hug and then holding on to Jeff even longer. Jeff was just too relieved to have a new dance partner, and went to work showing his appreciation.
"You know, I was just about ready to let you off the hook before he spoke up, "Annie clarified.
"I don't care, I really don't care…." Jeff started before he panicked. "No, no, I mean I don't care whose idea it was, not that I don't care about you! Oh God, now I have to let him get me drunk in a limo, don't I?"
"No, but that is an idea for next time…." Annie joked before she finally decided to give Jeff a break. "But this time you've paid your dues. In fact, the only way you can get in trouble tonight is if you don't find a private place for us to….grope later?" Annie asked, unsure if she used the right innuendo for kissing.
"Oh….oh, that won't be a problem," a much more confident and relieved Jeff assured. "Especially since I lifted the keys to the Dean's office before he dipped me." Annie gasped a bit and looked back at the Dean, who was too busy pleading to students for any cell phone recordings of his tango with Jeff to notice he had been robbed. "That's as private and solitary a place as any, don't you think?"
Annie felt like swatting Jeff on the shoulder for theft and for wanting to break and enter for a make out session – and she didn't want to know why Jeff wanted it in Pelton's office. But in spite of how she owed the Dean better than that for all his intentional and unintentional help….after all these make out delays, she really didn't owe him that much.
Jeff could be let off the hook this time – but Annie would probably have to let the Dean get him drunk to make up for it next time.