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Nina POV

I took a breathe, trying to calm myself. It's been a year since we found the mask and I don't know if I can take it anymore. After the we solved the mystery, well I solved it,s they hardly did anything, they hadn't talked to me. Even Amber, my so call BBFF(Best British Friend Forever) had stopped talking to me;she hardly even looked at me anymore. No one even looks at me anymore, especially since she came. Since Joy came, I've had to move to the attic since she and Amber wanted to share a room.

I've been ignored for so long or it's felt like so long. 6 months to be exact. 2 weeks after Joy came back I caught Fabian and Joy kissing, my heart was and still is broken. I've been talking to my best friend back in America, Amy, I miss her so much. My depression has came back.

After the age of 10 I started to have nightmares about my parents' death. My housemates never knew, but I was in the in the car with them. I saw as the light left their eyes, as they bled to death. I developed serious depression. I had to take countless amount of antidepressants and some of them were even experimental pills that were not FDA approved or something. I have had 4 suicide attempts since i was 11, so far at least. It doesn't help that my grand died 9 months ago and that the only person that cares about me is Amy. I know that Mara has tried to reach out to me, when she noticed my scars and the red all over the cuff of my sleeve. She asked if I wanted to hang out with her, go shopping or something like that; I nicely told her no thank you. That was the last time anyone talked to me, and let me tell you, it gets very lonely. But I'm used to it now and Amy has told me time and time again that I can come live with her i America. But I won't let her win, I won't let Joy win.

There still is a light burning inside of me, it's my will to survive. I don't know why it's still there, but it is. I heard Trudy call us down for dinner, I brushed away my tears and started to make my way down stairs. Once I was there I grabbed a plate and started to serve myself. I only grabbed a little bit of food, not wanting to eat too much, I knew it wouldn't stay in my stomach for long. As I was about to leave I heard laughing and giggling coming from people walking down the stairs. It was Joy and Patricia.

I turned around and almost knocked into Joy, I ran upstairs as fast as I could with my plate in hand. Once I made it to my room I locked the door and sat on my bed so I could eat. I then realized that I didn't have a fork, so I ate my small amount of rice by bringing my mouth up to the plate. I didn't care. Once I was down I snuck downstairs, everyone was still in the dinning room, I could still hear them. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. You know what I did next, I emptied my dinner into the toilet. Once I got myself cleaned up, I made sure it looked like I was never there and then made my way downstairs to do the dishes. With no friends at Anubis I started to help Trudy with the chores, she knows something is wrong but I bet she's too scared to ask.

As I finished the dishes, I heard the sound of voices rising down the hall to where the guys sleep. 'I bet Joy is jealous again and yelling at Fabian.' I thought to myself. Every time Fabian talks to a girl, not including teachers or trudy or family members, Joy flips out. I used to think that he'd realize how crazy and how much of a bitch Joy was, but I've given up on that dream. The yelling is a normal thing in this house. Everyone is used to it, except for Victor.

I never really see or hear from him anymore. After all that has happened he has backed off and accepted that he won't find eternal youth, at least I think. But when I do see him, he gives me a small sad smile. It's kinda weird, but I'm not gonna get into it. So Joy and Fabian are the loud ones in this house now.

All of a sudden I heard something that has never been apart of the usual 'Foy fighting routine'."Well at least Nina didn't freak out like this!" I knew what I had to do, I could either run up to my room or stay here and pretend I didn't hear it. I decided to put the last dish away and walk up to my room. I didn't run or have a worried look on my face, I didn't even care what happened. If Joy did anything, it couldn't be that bad compared to what I've been though these past 6 months. I thought I heard Joy say something that involved my name, but I didn't pay attention.

I turn and almost run into someone. It was Patricia. "Sorry."

"Nina wait." I turned around and looked into her eyes. They were full of regret, pity, and….hope. I think hope, I don't even know what hope is anymore, so I can only guess. "Nina, I'm sorry. I really am. If I.."

"Save it Patricia, I don't want your pity. It's sweet of you to try to reach out to me, just like Mara, but you don't have to."

"But Nina I feel so bad"

"Of course you feel bad, ha, it's always about how you people feel. So the guilt finally got to ya?" I had no idea what happened to me to say this. "It's okay Patricia, don't let the guilt eat u from within. Go on and live your life to the fullest." I then walked away up to my room.

I grabbed my sweatshirt, phone and Uggs. As well as I a bag with my school books and uniform. I decided to go to the old Sibuna meeting spot, I used to go there all the time after Fabian cheated on me, but I wanted to go to be away from any encounters with anyone. I closed my door and locked it. I'm the only one with a lock on my door, Victor forgot to take it off when I moved up there. I tried to walk down the stairs as quietly as I could. I texted Trudy that I would be out and be back before school started tomorrow.

Trudy knew that I wasn't gonna go out partying and that I would be back. I've done this multiple times before and Trudy trusts me. Nobody notices that I'm gone of course and I'm glad for that. I signed out and looked at the clock, it was 9 o'clock already. As I left I thought I heard footsteps, but I didn't look back to see who it was. The darkness of the night surrounded me, but it was comforting. People say that because of the darkness of the night is the reason we see starts. I love the stars, they are so bright and how they lit up the night sky. I took a second to admire the clear night sky, then I walked to the old meeting spot.

I laid down on a blanket I had stored there a couple of months ago. I opened my eyes to see the sky once again, I put my hands behind my head. "Goodnight Gran, Mom, Dad, Lily, and Luca. I love you." With that I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Line Break

I woke up to the sound of my phone alarm, I was so glad I had remembered my portable phone case charger. I quickly changed out of my clothes into my school uniform. I grabbed my bag and hid my blanket. It was a 10 minute walk, so I listened to the sounds of nature. All the birds and the wind blowing through the trees. This was the only time I felt a little happiness inside me, but I knew that it would leave soon as quick as my friends did. I sighed and passed Anubis House. I didn't look towards the house, I knew it would bring me pain.

I opened the doors into the school and went straight to my locker. The sound of friends hugging and gossiping and having fun filled the hallways. I walked straight to my locker and got my books; I always tried to be the first one there so I could get a seat in the back and no one would notice me. As I entered the room the teacher greeted me and I returned it. I took the back left seat in the corner, I set my stuff down and tried but failed to prepare myself for the net 8 hours. I heard giggling and knew it was Joy, and the rest of Anubis. They all walked in and everyone took their seats and the bell rang. I heard someone sit next to me, which was highly unusual, so I looked over to see Fabian sitting next to me and a very angry Joy across the room. He smiled, "Hi Nina."

"Hi."

"How are you?" I was about to answer then the teacher interrupted, thank God. The rest of the class period I was as quiet as usual. I didn't laugh when someone would make a joke or crack a wise one. It went fairly quickly, but there were times that a minute felt like 10. Once the period was over we had drama. I grabbed my books, put them in my bag and walked as fast as I could to drama before Fabian could try to talk to me anymore.

Once I got to the room, I sat in a chair, making sure it was a seat that would only sit one person. It angered me that I had to live this way, dodging my "friends" and feeling so alone, but it didn't anger me as much as it used to. I actually don't even know how I feel about most things, my feeling are usually loneliness, tiredness, a little anger and emptiness. I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard giggling and laughing coming from the hall, so I took out one of my books and continued to read it. I've started reading like I used to before I came to England, which was whenever I could. Books were an escape for me, to a distant land where I could try to be happy, or more seeing other people's happy lives that didn't abandon me.

I heard someone walk up to me and clear their throat, I looked up to see Joy. "Yes?" I said.

SO WHAT'D YOU THINK? TELL ME! I NEED ABOUT 5-10 REVIEWS UNTIL I POST THE NEXT CHAPTER! USUALLY I DON'T LIKE THE WHOLE 'POST A CHAPTER BASED ON HOW MANY REVIEWS' BUT I AM FOCUSING ON ANOTHER STORY THAT HAS MANY PEOPLE ASKING ME TO UPDATE MORE.

XOXO-MORGAN