Sydney

"I am not wrong," I thought for the millionth time, since I have been here. It was never easy but I never thought it could ever be this hard.

I don't know how long it has been since the first time they greeted me with Adrian's cross in this damned cell. Adrian, the yearning for him within me burned making me stronger. His memories and thoughts were my constant anchor that kept me on the bay of sanity. How was he? Where was he? Will he survive without me spirit's darkness? Of course he will. He is strong. How will I survive?

I shifted my position a little on the hard rough surface trying to make the cold bearable with movement but it was no good. It was never good here.

The torture had started the very next time I was conscious. The cell was colder. I had tried to use a spell to warm myself but didn't work. I didn't have any energy to make it work. I shivered in the cold trying hard to resist it.

"How do you feel now Sydney?" the emotionless female voice asked from every direction in the cell.

I didn't reply. "Do you feel cold now? This is how your heart has become. Cold and dark. But it can be restored to warmth and light. And we are here to help you."

"My heart is not cold. Your heart is cold. You need help. I don't need help!" I retorted which I knew would be of no use here.

The voice got louder. "It is the darkness speaking for you. The darkness that has seeped into you wants to takeover. You can make it leave you."

Then silence took over. I felt my stomach twist painfully. How many days have it been since I ate something? They want me to forget Adrian and everyone else. They want me to forget everyone I love and submit to them. The thought came with venom to my mind, those who are torturing me for their twisted beliefs. I have to stay strong. I told myself. My mind wandered to the last time, I was with Adrian, in his warm arms. My heart and body ached for his presence. The cold was hard to endure, I tried to take my attention away from the cold and take comfort in my memories of Palm Springs. My time spent with Adrian and everyone else. The only place I had actually belonged. His emerald green filled with warmth and love. How could I ever turn against them? How could I ever forget them?

"Do you feel anything now Sydney?" the cold voice spoke again.

"Do you feel cold now?"

The best way to show these people that there methods are not working is silence, I realized. So, I didn't reply.

I survived the whole time with the memories of Adrian. Before, they put me into another drugged sleep.

After that every day there was a new torture with a new twisted. Someday there was the sound of an electrical buzz that would grow louder or low and so irritating that it would make me scream but I didn't. It would be a sign that they are getting me.

Memories were my only hope here.

Sometime there would huge bursts of light from different directions in the cell with there would come their damned concepts about light and darkness.

There would be small rations of stale food. Sometimes the torture would be restricted to only starving me to death.

The most torturing thought was that I was alone in all this, utterly alone. They would always put me to drugged sleep that made me wonder if I would ever be able to see him ever again. Even in a dream. Will he be able to come to help me? Or will it be too late when they come? Will he ever come? My mind reeled with questions making me nauseous although there was very little to throw out. The loneliness was becoming unbearable other than the cold voice that would make me wish there was silence. The obnoxious female voice that tried to chastise me was getting more frequent with time. It tried to force its beliefs on me but was unable. I cried at times but mostly there was a numb dark feeling that was stuck to my throat and mind.