Mimicry

DISCLAIMER: Fire Emblem and its characters belong to Nintendo and Intelligent Systems.

Please don't tell me Rolf and Boyd are doing what I think they're doing.

Oh, by the goddess.

They're going around squinting like… well, me.

I slap my forehead in despair. A few weeks ago, when they read my newest letter from Janaff, they tried to attempt to baby me. Let's just say that they have very, very weird opinions on what they think Janaff does to me to be 'uncle-like'. The entire crew's been giving them (and me!) weird looks.

Now, through some twisted conversation they must have had, the two of them are going around with their faces scrunched up so they can squint, their reasoning being so that they can try and sympathize with me. I can't help but think they're mocking me, but at the same time I'm starting to think that they're genuinely concerned about me.

Well, I'm genuinely concerned about them. If they go on like this any longer, they're going to hurt someone. I just know it. The other day, Rolf was practising with his bow…

"Man, this is hard!"

The familiar whiz of an arrow reaches my ears, though there isn't a familiar 'thump' of it hitting a target afterward. Something's very peculiar about this situation. Both of our snipers are more than capable of hitting the targets, even if Rolf has a confidence problem, and Boyd is still eating breakfast.

I turn the corner to the target stands. It's Rolf, actually. And the target isn't that far away.

So, I ask:

"Rolf, what on Tellius are you doing?"

My younger brother whips around to face me. "Oh, Oscar! I was just practising with my bow – hey, you shouldn't be here, you know. What if you get hurt? Boyd and I'll have to write a letter to Unkie Janny and tell him." He puts his hands on his hips "I mean, you obviously never tell him anything. You accidentally cut yourself with a knife last time and you didn't write it in your letter."

"You are in no position to talk like that to me," I point out. "What about that splinter you got from making bows? You just didn't want me to know about Uncle Shinon." I'm very careful in pointing out the 'Uncle' part.

Rolf quietly makes a 'humph' before returning to his previous endeavour, shooting a target. From where I stand behind him, it definitely doesn't look hard. Yet his arm's moving way too much to be sure of the target. Finally, he lets it fly, and it promptly whizzes out into the field.

"Hey!" I hear out in the distance. It sounds like a shocked Mist.

"Oscar, I don't know how you do it!" Rolf turns to me again, and then I notice: he's squinting. I sigh.

"… but I can see like if your eyes were open," I say. "It's not like I have a problem seeing." But Rolf's not believing it, so he scrunches up his face even more than it already is from squinting.

"No way. I bet you're just lying."

"I'll show you," I say, exasperated, attempting to take the bow from Rolf's hands. At first he's willing, but then he must have remembered his worry about me getting hurt and he tries to take it away.

Note to self: it's kind of hard to shoot with a brother jiggling your bow around, especially a squinting brother.

Finally, I let the arrow fly. It grazes the target's edge, flies askew and keeps going out into the field. We both watch, in silence, as the arrow falls somewhere into the grass. I swear I can see someone get up and look around. I think it's Mist. That really was her yelling, I guess.

"Rolf, if you're playing a joke, it's not funny!" she calls out to us, clearly annoyed.

"See, Oscar?" Rolf says. "Maybe you shouldn't use the bow. You almost hit Mist. And shooting with squinty eyes has gotta be hard…"

Oh, Rolf. If you hadn't clung to my arm, I could have hit it.

I can't even practise properly now; Rolf and Boyd stole my bow and barricaded my room, convinced that I'll poke someone's eye out. Unfortunately, I fear that they'll injure themselves through squinting. Or their faces will stick that way or something.

They're taking Janaff's obsession to a whole new level. Honestly, I don't know what to do. I don't even want to approach the kitchen because I just know the two of them will blow it up or shove me out or do something else horrible. So I don't go near it. Sorry, Mist.

Maybe I can pick up a new weapon at the armoury. Have Titania teach me the axe or something, seeing as I can't use my lance or my bow. I head towards the training grounds when I hear two voices. One is Titania.

The other… is Boyd.

Oh, goddess. I have the worst luck.

"Boyd, you can't possibly aim properly looking like that," Titania says to my brother. "What exactly are you trying to accomplish by practising while squinting? Unless you plan on going to do your next assignment like that, in which case I'll be sure to not get you assigned until you stop these antics."

I turn the corner just in time for Boyd to say, "But Oscar does it!"

Stop dragging me into these things, I beg of you.

"I've said it several times," I sigh. "I can see just fine." The bigger question, though, is why they never questioned this before, but that's a question that will probably remain unanswered even if I ask it.

"But knowing you, you're probably lying." Boyd points a finger at me accusingly. "I mean, you so didn't teach Rolf how to shoot a bow."

"That was obviously a sarcastic comment…"

"Anyway," Boyd clears his throat, "the point is that I'm going to keep squinting like you so I understand just how many risks you're taking. Janaff would kill himself if he found out how hard fighting while squinting can be."

I turn to Titania, who only gives me a shrug out of pity.

"Which is why you won't tell him," I finish for him.

"Well, I won't have to if his 'Little Oscar' stops using weapons," Boyd says.

"That's why you barricaded my room?"

Boyd carefully notes my raised eyebrows. "Duh."

"It's not like I've had any problems before. And I could probably still beat you with your eyes open and you using an axe. I've done that before, too." Even common sense, however, can't seem to deter him from his path, and I soon find myself with a sword in my hand. Mind you, I only know a sword's basics, and using it on foot is much different from on horseback.

"I'll see what it's like," Boyd scoffs. "If you see as well as you say you do, then I can see how hard it is to battle squinting with a weapon disadvantage, like your lance against my axe. And if I beat you, then you obviously have eye problems." No, never mind that when I beat him, I don't accuse him of eye problems. It's always me.

I'm about to tell him that I can't use swords when he suddenly picks up his steel axe and comes charging at me. Naturally, I raise it in defence, but being actually trained in the axe, Boyd makes short work of my rudimentary skills and I'm disarmed in a matter of seconds.

Again, I turn to Titania, who again shrugs.

"You can't possibly let him keep training while he's squinting," I say.

"Oh, come on," Boyd says. "You just don't want to admit you lost. Obviously the squinting is causing you problems. Don't worry, I'm squinting too, but my motive is different."

I don't like the sound of this. "Different?"

"It must suck to lose after you kept beating me up, so I'm going to squint and feel that suffering with you! Even on the battlefield! And Titania can't stop me." As if to accentuate his statement, Boyd narrows his eyes even more.

"W-wait, no… it's okay. I don't need you to, uh, suffer – "

"What's going on?" Ike blinks his eyes as he walks around the corner. "What's this about suffering?"

I have the worst timing ever.

I bite my tongue and quickly say, "Oh, Boyd just keeps losing to me at rock-paper-scissors and I just don't want him to suffer too much from all the losing." Boyd is about to open his mouth in protest, but I shoot him a glare. I think he senses the urgency and danger in my glare, which is good, since I tried my very hardest to make it as deathly as possible considering that I squint.

"Well…" Ike decides to drop the subject. "I'm looking for some people to come on the next job with me, so I was – Boyd, what on Tellius are you doing?" Our blue-haired commander looks incredulously at Boyd.

"I'm experiencing what Oscar feels!" my brother says indignantly. I smack my forehead. Ike, don't ask any more, I beg of you…

Ike stares at Boyd like he's nuts, but doesn't say anything. "So, uh, Boyd, do you want to come?"

"… is it safe for Boyd to?" I ask hesitantly, and then realize that saying that probably wasn't the smartest move I could have done.

"Well, you do, Oscar, so I think he'll be fine," Ike reasons. "And I'll send out Rolf too, if you're worried about Boyd. Besides, I don't think that the bandits we're facing will be a problem." The point of me trying to get Boyd off the battlefield goes right over his head. I sigh.

Boyd snickers.

"Titania, you'll head up the other job. Take Gatrie and Shinon with you. And Rhys." I can only watch as Ike goes right on without listening to me, leaving to find others while Titania does the same. This really doesn't bode well, being stuck with two self-handicapped brothers and a slightly ignorant commander.

Boyd and Rolf think that I suffer from the squint. Ike thinks it's not a problem for my brothers to squint.

Why is it that everyone only gets half the truth?

-

When we arrive, we can see the bandits preparing to raze the houses. Needless to say, we jump into action.

Boyd employs his usual tactic of hack-and-slash, running into the mob, axe swinging over his head. The sheer size of his axe means he hits something, but he's blindly bumbling along.

Oh no, he's about to run into a wall.

The other mercenaries are already attacking other bandits (with relative ease), but there isn't anyone to cover my rampaging brother, so I knock out another one of the enemies and ride off to help him, hapless as he is. I promptly smack the approaching bandit that is trying to take advantage of my brother's near blindness when an arrow nearly strikes my horse on the butt. I look at the arrow, now lodged into the ground, and recognize the fletching.

I try to sigh in despair but have to whack another bandit when I try. This is really getting absolutely ridiculous.

Turning around to try and redirect Rolf, I watch him blindly shooting, though he doesn't even see the enemies behind him because he's concentrating so hard on shooting. I then gallop back to fend them off.

"Oscar! Is that you?" Rolf yells. "I can't see!"

"Open your eyes, then!"

"Not until you do!"

"This is not the time to be complaining!" I yell back. I don't know if he says anything after this, because I just start ignoring him. Why do the two of them insist on being so stubborn?

Nearby, Ike is hacking away at the bandits. I decide to try and get him to exert his authority over my brothers.

"Ike, do something," I practically beg. "Boy and Rolf are acting like complete idiots." As I speak I see Boyd lodge his axe into a tree. The two of us watch him try to pull it out. I think that makes my point. All Ike does, though, is shrug with the slightest hint of a grin on his face.

"I don't know," he says nonchalantly. "I think you'd do a better job at it than me."

He's trying to get me to fix it just because getting between Boyd and Rolf and their goal can get sticky. The brotherly instinct's starting to well up again. Oh no.

I'm about to raise a verbal objection when I notice out of my eye that in addition to Rolf's shooting, Boyd has now decided to pull his bow out too, having given up on his axe. And they're aimed right at each other.

"Triangle Attack, wherever you guys are! There's only a few of 'em left!" Boyd yelled, pulling his bow back.

"Got it!" Rolf said. "I got a big one in my sights!"

What am I going to do with them?

I make a mad dash towards the closer of the two, Rolf, yelling at him to stop. He turns to the sound of my voice.

"Oscar? What did you say?" he calls, still pointing the arrow at Boyd.

"Hey guys, the git's looking away!" Boyd says. "Now's our chance!"

"Don't shoot! You too, Boyd! That's – "

Dear goddess, no. Boyd shot the arrow. And so did Rolf.

I watch the arrows fly towards their respective targets, straight at their heads.

"Duck, Rolf, Boyd!" I yell in a last-ditch attempt.

The arrow aimed at Boyd just manages to miss his hair as he ducks down, while the one aimed at Rolf snips off a bit of his hair as it passes. At this point the rest of the mercenaries are staring at us, having finished off every bandit left. Mia is clutching her stomach from laughing too much. Mist is giggling and Ike is smiling at us. Well, we must be quite the comedy act.

Now, if we got Soren to crack a grin at this sight, we'd be a pathetic bunch.

I angrily call my brothers over. As soon as they assemble themselves in front of me, I immediately start yelling at them.

"What do you think you guys are doing? You almost killed each other! I saw who you guys tried to shoot, and I warned you two to duck. I think that I've proved my competence at vision now, don't you?" It's only after I'm done that I can see Ike with an 'I told you so' face. Great, he was right about the whole me doing a better job thing.

When I look back at my brothers, Rolf's close to wailing.

"I-I didn't know, Oscar! I just wanted t-to make sure you were okay…" Rolf' sniffs. "M-me and Boyd... waaaaaaaaaaaah!"

Boyd sheepishly scratches the back of his head.

"We only wanted to help, but I guess we ended up needing yours," he says, a little nervously. "… sorry, bro."

It's hard to stay angry at them for long, so I just sigh.

"Just… try opening your eyes, will you?"

The two of them stop squinting. Rolf looks at me with his puppy eyes.

"Well, looks like that's over with, right?" Ike says. "I'm beat. I could do with one of your meals, Oscar."

Rolf gasps and nudges Boyd, who grins. Please tell me they're not thinking of doing what I think they're going to do…

"Unkie Janny wouldn't be happy with you dealing with knives, would he?" Boyd snickered.

Yes, Unkie Janny would be so proud of you two right now.

-omake

Rolf smiles. Boyd chuckles. Slowly, their smiles turn into panic.

"… guys?" I ask, a little worriedly.

"Oscar, I can't open them."

Sorry, this one took a long time to get off my chest and I don't really like it. The premise is an idea my friend came up with, but the situations that came to mind didn't come out as I wanted them to. I've had this for a while and just didn't feel like putting it up, but seeing as I haven't put… anything up lately, I might as well.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone!

-EmbeRin