Disclaimer – this is indeed a total rip-off of 'Gangsta's Paradise' by Coolio. Enjoy.
Prankster's Paradise
As I walk through Hogwarts in the shadow of Snape
I take a look around and realise there's no escape
Cause we've pranking and laughing so long that
Even our mother thinks that our grades are gone
But we would never prank a teacher who didn't deserve it
(Miss a chance to cause chaos? You know that's unheard of)
You better watch how you're talking and where you're walking
Or you might become a victim to the exploding chalk
I wouldn't be proud but I gotta boast
'Cept for Peeves the ghost we prank all the teachers the most… fool
We're the kind of Gryffs that little first years want to be like
Creeping around at night, making pranks in the moonlight
They been spending most their lives living in the prankster's paradise
We keep spending most our lives living in the prankster's paradise
Look at the detention they dared to mention
We can't use our magic now, gotta scrub things by hand
So we gotta make revenge in the staff room
Too much dungeon cleaning got us pranking too
We're educated wizards with mischief on our minds
Got fireworks in our hands and a gleam in our eyes
We're underworked pranksters who set off a banger
In a Potions lesson, and so we aroused Snape's anger… fool
Detention ain't nothing but a heartbeat away
We're relieving boredom, what can I say
We're 17 now but will we live to see 18
When our detention record's obscene
Tell me why are we so blind to see
Why our behaviour offends Snapie?
He's been spending most his life living in the prankster's paradise
We keep spending most our lives living in the prankster's paradise
The power and the fame, the fame and the power
Why are we in detention hour after hour?
Everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking
'Cause in the Hogwarts kitchen, they know stink bombs are cooking
They say we've got to learn but they're all to scared to teach us
If they can't leave their rooms, how can they reach us
I guess they can't
I guess they won't
I guess they try
That's how we know that it's pranking time… fool
They been spending most their lives living in the prankster's paradise
We keep spending most our lives living in the prankster's paradise
Tell me why are we so blind to see
Why our behaviour offends Snapie?
Tell me why are we so blind to see
Why our behaviour offends Snapie?