Chapter One: S.O.B.

"Sev, please." I gripped the torn fabric of this jacket. He frowned, looking down on me. His eyes flashed with anger, something I'd never seen in the dark orbs. "Please, I'm sorry. I just, ugh, she irks me, you know that."

In his eyes, me calling Lily Evans a self-righteous cow to her face was like a wizarding law being broken. But let's face it, it had to be done. There she was, flirting it up with those Marauders while me and Sev sat just inches away. Somehow, I thought Sev would be proud f me, even maybe laugh at it. But how was I ever so stupid to think that Severus Snape would think making fun of Lily Evans was funny? Even if it was her band of gits that made his life a living hell- as well as mine.

"I just- you KNOW how I feel about her!" He exploded, throwing my hand from his arm. Luckily, we were the only ones in the darkened corridors, otherwise, we would probably be causing one of the biggest scene's Hogwarts had ever seen.

"Lovebird's spat?" Sirius Black stalked from the shadows around the corner, that damned smirk on his face as he winked in my direction. Something about the boy made my blood boil. There was so much more than a self-righteous cow to call him if I ever got the chance.

There was a reason his initials were S.O.B.

"Shove off, Black." I sneered, knowing Sev wouldn't say anything- and probably wouldn't come to my defense at the moment.

"Can't take a little fun, eh, Tate? It's true isn't it?" His eyes filled with mischief as he turned them on Sev who had his black orbs narrowed to slits. "You fancy him, don't you? A bit slimy, I'll admit, but it's true." He chuckled darkly, hands stuffed casually in the pockets of his jeans. How could someone look so casual- so at peace- knowing they just ripped open my drawer of secrets and threw them across the room for everyone to see. My mouth opened, then closed again, then opened. I wish I had something to say.

My head snapped up, and Sev was looking down on me like I was an insect. Something to be observed and watched, something disgusting. He didn't look like my best friend anymore.

"We're just friends." I fired back hotly at Sirius, but he was gone. I looked down the hall for him, but didn't find him. He was no where in sight. "Sev….Sev, I-"

"Is that it then? Why you hate Lily?" His voice was soft, but his eyes were hard stones, drilling holes into my skull. It took all I had not to look away.

"No, Sev, I-" I could feel the tears come as he turned on his heel and sped away. I could feel my heart in my throat, my face burned with embarrassment, and my stomach had the strangest knot in it. Not bothering to breath, I raced towards the Ravenclaw common room. Throwing open the door to my room, I went straight for the bathroom, ignoring Abby who sat on my bed flipping through a Teen Witch Weekly. Fumbling with the small box, I pulled out the blond hair dye, taking a deep breath, I set it on the side of the sink.

"What are you doing, Bean?" Abby came up behind me, staring at me through the mirror and using the back of her hand to whip my tears. Her pale hands idly toyed with my purple curls. She giggled softly when she saw the box of hair dye. "You're such a muggle-born." She smiled, tapping her wand to my head and making the purple curls turn blond. I grimaced at myself in the mirror.

"And tan. I want to be tan."

She lifted her wand from my head, turning me to look at her. "Babe, what's wrong?"

"I want to be different. Look different. Not be me anymore. I want to be blond, and tan, and blue eyed, and wear make-up, and be beautiful, and, and, and.-" She cut me off with a hug, whispering comforting words to sooth the crying. The bathroom looked brighter than it had minutes before. The room was always neat - except for my bottle of toothpaste that sat mangled beside the holder and the toilet seat that was up because Abby thought that way we had the option to go like a boy if we wished- and no matter how much I wanted to punch something, I knew Abby would kill me if I put anything out of order.

"Just because you look different, Bena, doesn't mean you're going to be different." Her Spanish accent was usually unnoticeable, but in this moment I could see a little bit of her mother inside of her. She didn't understand. She had nice, dark skin, and beautiful brown hair, and coal black eyes. Girls envied her, guys wanted her, and she was smart, and funny….

I'd never have that. The best I'd have would always be 'the girl that's best friends with Snape.' and that wasn't such a good thing around here. And now I don't know if I even had that.

"Please." I whispered, wiping my eyes." I heard her sigh and then lower her wand to tap my skin. It turned a glowing light tan. Then she sat me down in front of the mirror, and applied make-up.

"You'll have to use contacts for the blue eyes, though." She said, glancing at my golden eyes in the mirror. She applied a thin layer of black mascara that made my eyes water, and some white eye shadow. I blinked back tears, and tried to reduce the puffiness of my eyes. "You look beautiful, Bena…but not- not like you." She hesitated, looking me up and down.

"Good." I mumbled as I slid the blue contacts into place.