Once upon a time, I believe it was a Tuesday
when I caught your eyeAnd we caught onto somethingI hold onto the night, you looked me in the eye
and told me you loved me
I was taking notes in Potions, listening to Snape's monotone voice. I glanced up and saw a boy from across the classroom. I recognized him in an instant.
Seamus Finnigan. I've liked him for years- even if he has a tendency to blow things up. But I've never even said a full sentence to him. I met his eyes and he looked away, a smile threatening to take over his lips. I looked back at my notes. A was just a Ravenclaw and he was a popular Gryffindor. There's no way he could like me. No way.
Now its five weeks later and Seamus is telling me not to peek as he pulls me up some steps.
"Seamus! Where are we going?" I giggled. I wouldn't have believed that I would ever being dating Seamus Finnigan. But I am. About two days after I caught him staring, he enchanted a paper bird to fly to me during class. I opened it and read the sloppy handwriting, "Me, you. Hogsmeade?" I had grinned to myself, scribbled a "sure!", and unfolded the bird and re-folded it into a dragon. I enchanted it to crawl over to his desk. He found it and read it. He grinned at me and mouthed "11:00, entrance hall?" To which I nodded and the date was set. It was bit awkward at first, but Seamus was really funny and easy to open up to.
"Just hold on, 'Dria." His nickname for me. I get a big smile on my face whenever I he calls me by my nickname. "Patience is a virtue, you know."
"A virtue that I don't have." I clarified. My blindfold was slipping, and I stole a peek. We were walking up the Astronomy stairs.
"Hey!" Seamus noticed me looking and pulled the cloth back over my eyes. He pecked my lips and pulled back, to drag me up the rest of the steps.
I felt a cold breeze and knew that we were at the top. Seamus, however, kept pulling me. He looped an arm around my waist and guided me over to the left. We walked onto the roof, me stumbling a bit. Then we sat down, and his arm still around my waist, and he pulled the cloth from my eyes. I gasped. The view was absolutely stunning.
Seamus looked at me and said, "I need to tell you something."
I tore my gaze away from the moon and looked into his eyes. "Yes?"
He sighed, letting out a big puff of air. Now I didn't exactly like the conversation was going the way I wanted it. Then he grinned at me and leaned in closer, twisting one of my blonde locks between his fingers. "I love you. Forever and always."
Were you just kidding?'cause it seems to me, this thing is breaking downWe almost never speakI don't feel welcome anymoreBaby what happened, please tell me?
I tried to catch his eye from across the classroom, but he wouldn't look at me. Two weeks after he told me he loved me, his friend Dean Thomas had come up to me and explained that Seamus thought it would be best if they didn't see each other.
I mean the nerve of him! Kissing me, saying he loved me, and making me fall in love with him. And then breaking up with me- No actually he had his best friend do it for him! I should hate him, I know, but you can't just go and suddenly hate a guy you have loved for ages.
'cause one second it was perfect, now you're halfway out the door
And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't calledAnd then you feel so low you cant feel nothing at allAnd you flashback to when he said forever and always
He didn't owl me. Talk to me. Look at me. No explanation as to why we had to break up. Not even an apologetic grimace. Nothing.
It was like we hadn't even dated. Or talked at all. Was it something I did? I felt like a child wondering what to think of their parent's divorce. I just need to forget him. Forget the annoying habit he has of lip-syncing the words to songs he knows. Forget his curly brown hair. Forget his awesome- I mean awful Irish accent. That should be easy enough, right?
Right?
Oh, and it rains in your bedroomEverything is wrongIt rains when you're here and it rains when you're goneCause I was there when you said forever and always
I watched the raindrops race down the window of my dorm. Most of my friends didn't know what to say around me. They were Ravenclaws- they knew the remedy for Devils Snare, not a broken heart.
Anyway, I just wanted to know why he broke up with me. Was I too needy? Clingy? Or not clingy enough? I just wanted to know why. And I was going to find out. NowI dragged some ink, a quill, and some parchment towards me.
Dear Seamus….
Was I out of line?Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hideLike a scared little boyI looked into your eyesThought I knew you for a minute, now I'm not so sure
I wrote him a letter, outlining all my questions about us, or rather the lack of. And then…
I didn't send it. What if he didn't reply? What if he did? Do I really want to know why he broke up with me?
Yes, you do. An inner voice informed me.
"Shut up, inner me." I muttered to myself, getting a few odd stares from passerby. I hoisted my bag, overflowing with books and rounded a corner. I turned and ran right into someone, both of us falling to the ground.
"Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was…" A voice thick with an Irish accent sounded trailed off. Seamus looked into my eyes, then looked quickly away. He handed me my books, stood and walked quickly away.
I shoved my books into my bag and brushed away the tears beginning to accumulate in my eyes.
He didn't matter. He didn't matter. I chanted as I walked away.
Although, my chant changed to Don't cry. Don't cry.
So here's everything coming down to
Nothing
Here's to silence that cuts me to the core
Where is this going? Thought I knew for a
Minute, but I don't anymore.
I lowered myself next to him in Charms. I had woken up late, and therefore was late for class. The seat next to Seamus was the only one available.
I didn't want to look at him. Or at least, I wanted to want to not look at him. He avoided my eyes. Then the professor told us to turn to our partners and discuss it. I hadn't been listening, so I had no idea what we were supposed to be talking about.
I turned to look at Seamus. I opened my mouth and closed it. Then I opened it again. "I-um wasn't-uh listening."
"Neither was I." He explained.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Then I broke. "What happened with us, Seamus? Why?"
He opened his mouth and closed it again. He thought.
"No, Seamus. Don't sit there making shit up. I want the truth. The complete truth."
Then, the bell rang. "Meet me at 11 at the Astronomy tower." Then he stood up and left.
I knew where he meant.
Our spot.
And I stare at the phone, he still hasn't
Called
And then you feel so low you cant feel
Nothing at all
And you flashback when he said
Forever and always
I walked up the stairs. Or rather, I was trying to. I was freaking out, to put it modestly. I sunk down to sit with my back to the wall.
I'm not going. I can't. But I am. I have to.
I stood up and tried to keep my eyes from tearing up. I closed my eyes and felt the cool breeze blowing over me. I saw him, leaning on the railing.
He looked over at me, unsmiling. "We need to talk."
I nodded. "I know." I said quietly. When he nodded, I blew up. "People don't just break up with their girlfriends, Seamus! Or if they do, they don't have their best friends do it! Gosh, Seamus! What happened? You said you'd love me! Forever and always! People don't just-"
"People don't just cheat on their boyfriends either, 'Dria!" Seamus yelled back at me.
"What are you talking about?"
Oh, and it rains in you bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains
When you're gone
'cause i was there when your said forever
And always
You didn't mean it baby, I don't think so
"I'm talking about how you were snogging another bloke while we were dating!" Seamus stated, looking outraged.
"I never snogged anyone when we were dating except for you!" I defended myself.
He shook his head. "Dean saw you smiling and hugging Will Locken in a corridor just after curfew. He told me about it."
"Will Locken? His older brother dated my sister three years ago. He's dating this muggle named Katie and he was telling me about how he was going to propose to her this summer. I hugged him because I was congratulating him! "
"Then why were you out after curfew?" He demanded.
"I was going to the kitchens for a midnight snack!"
He snorted. "Yeah, sure."
I threw my hand up in the air. "I'm telling the truth! Dean was mistaken! I wouldn't do the to you, Seamus." I spoke the last part quietly.
"That's not all, 'Dria." He gulped. "After Dean told me, I met up with Bailey Jones and…"
"And what?" I asked, gripping the wall fro support.
He was silent.
"Oh."
"I was just jealous and thought it was justified." He looked down. "The next day I had Dean break up with you for me." Thunder sounded in the background.
'I really loved you." I told him before turning around and running down the stairs.
Back up, baby, back up
Did you forget everything
Back up, baby, back up
Did you forget everything
He ran behind me and grabbed my arm. "Listen 'Dria, I-"
I twisted out of his grip and continued to run. "You don't understand how I felt. Really, I loved you. I mean, I do love you. But-"
I stopped running and turned to face him. "But what?" I asked him.
"But I thought you didn't love me anymore and that you were going to break up with me. An- and I didn't want to get hurt, So I beat you to it." He stuttered.
"Why didn't you just confront me? Why didn't you question Dean more?" Tears now ran down my face. "Why didn't you think about how it would hurt me? Why-"
"Because I wasn't thinking! I loved you and then Dean came up and tells me that you're cheating on me! I overreacted! I'm sorry!"
"Do you believe me? I'm sorry." He repeated.
"I'm sorry." He said it again.
'cause it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains
When you're gone
'cause I was there when you said forever
And always
He had such a pitiful expression on his face when he grabbed my wrist, pulling me closer to him. I stood so still. I closed my eyes and shook my head no.
I pulled away, saying it out loud. "No. I don't think I can-"
"Yes, you can. We can. I love you. You love me. Whats the problem?" He asked me.
I shook my head. "You said forever and always, Seamus. What if- What if you change your mind? Or that Bailey girl?"
"You always over-analyze things 'Dria. I made a mistake. I was stupid. I should of done a lot of things differently. And now I'm trying to fix them." He squeezed my wrist gently. "Please believe me."
"You must have feelings for Bailey. Or you wouldn't have.."
"I was so messed up, I would have gone with Filch had he been there. She was just the first person I saw. Please, 'Dria. Believe me. I love you and only you."
Oh, I stare at the phone, he still hasn't
Called
And then you feel so low you cant feel
Nothing at all
And you flashback to when we said
Forever and always
I closed my eyes, listening to the rain. He took both of my hands, but didn't speak.
I loved him. I really did.
Or did I?
What was love really? People always say they're in love, but do they really know what it is?
Is it being willing to die for someone?
Falling asleep thinking about them?
Smiling whenever you think of them?
Is that how I feel about Seamus?
Yes.
My eyes fluttered open and I looked right into Seamus's green eyes. I leaned toward him and-
Then, Mrs. Norris turned around the corner and we could hear Filch behind him.
"I'll see you tomorrow." I explained to Seamus, before running away.
And it rains in your bedroom
Everything is wrong
It rains when you're here and it rains
When you're gone
'cause I was there when you said forever
And always
You didn't mean it baby, you said forever
and always…yeah
I closed my eyes and walked into the Great Hall. The sky was gray and I looked at each table, starting with my table and ending with his.
He was looking right at me. I blinked and then he was suddenly in front of me.
"Hey." He said to me.
I shook my head, and his small smile faltered. "You said forever and always, right?"
He nodded. " Of course. Why?"
"Just making sure before." I said, a smile stealing over my lips.
"Before what?" He questioned, his eyebrows furrowed.
"This." I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. I could feel him smile into the kiss.
We broke apart and he rested his forehead on mine. "Forever and always, right?" he asked me.
"Exactly." I told him. Forever and always.