Sasuke walked silently down the school hallways, keeping his head down. He avoided looking at any of the rushing people around him. These people were supposed to be his friends, according to the school's anti-bullying code. But it was bullshit. Sasuke was once one of the "cool" quiet kids that tons of girls adored. He had money, style, decent friends (at least that's what he considered a friend), girls, and high grades. What more could a guy want? But everything changed one night at a stupid party.
The junior walked to his locker and grabbed the books to take home and study. His grades could not be anything but exceptional, his dad would not tolerate it. Sasuke had faced the consequences of receiving a B last year and swore to himself he would never earn such a grade again.
Everyone rushed past him talking about their weekend plans with their family and friends as they went to the busses to go home. But Sasuke didn't talk to anyone about his weekend plans, and no one asked. Sasuke didn't have any weekend plans besides study and hide in his room.
"Sasuke!"
Sasuke ignored the obnoxious call as he walked down the sidewalk leaving the school; he always walked home from school. He was able to be alone with his thoughts and enjoy the nature around him in peace.
"Sasuke wait up!"
Sasuke did not slow down for the obnoxious caller. He wished that the boy running to catch up to him would go away. People always seemed to annoy him but this one boy in particular infuriated him. Sasuke didn't believe he had any sort of friend anymore, but the annoying boy was determined to try and force him to trust someone again.
"Man Sasuke! Could you walk any faster?" Naruto exclaimed to the silent black-haired boy.
Sasuke ignored him. Naruto seemed to think that since they were both outcasts, that they were friends. Sasuke had actually spent a large amount of time with the boy. They had been best friends as kids and in middle school they still spent time together. Things changed when they two made it to high school. Sasuke began to realize that Naruto was not liked by many other people and as Sasuke's reputation became better and he became higher in the high-school food chain, Naruto had sank lower. Naruto was always the class clown, making stupid comments and disturbing that class. He even pulled lame pranks on the teachers some times. Everyone found him annoying and thought he should just go away. Sasuke never paid him much attention anymore but he kept the secrets he knew about Naruto from their childhood friendship. And although the blond-haired boy kept trying to reconnect with Sasuke he refused to allow him to get close. Sasuke knew what happens when you let people get close, and he wasn't going to make that mistake again.
"So I'm home alone this weekend, like usual. If you wanted to come over we could hang out and-"
"Not interested dobe."
"Well alright," the blond replied, just as filled with excitement as before, "We could study together and no one would disturb us or-"
"Or not."
Sasuke knew that no one would be at Naruto's home because Naruto lived alone. His parents had died when he was born and he had been moved from foster home to foster home in their district. Sasuke did feel sorry for the blond haired bundle of energy, but Naruto didn't seem much effected by his home situation. Sasuke actually was jealous of Naruto for that aspect of him, Naruto never seemed to be effected by anything bad; he was always energetic and happy and didn't care what people said about him or thought of him. Naruto didn't know what pain was.
Sasuke began to climb the steps up to his house, ignoring the teen standing on the sidewalk in front of his house. He hoped that Naruto would just walk to his house (which he was able to live alone in with the assistance of the state because he had reached the age of 16) and leave him alone so he wouldn't have to feel so jealous and guilty.
"We used to be such good friends… Why do you keep pushing me away?"
Sasuke's hand stopped on the door, but he didn't turn around as he spoke, "I won't let anyone near me again. So just stop caring about me." He turned the handle and began to push the door open.
"I can't stop caring about you Sasuke. You know that…"
Sasuke ignored the blonde's soft words and went inside his house. His mother was nowhere to be seen and his older brother off at college. His father would be home from work in a few hours and if Sasuke didn't have his books open to study from when his father got home, he was sure to regret it. Sasuke went over to the kitchen table and placed his school books on the table. He got some paper and began to start on the essay he had for English class (thanks to Mr. Hatake, he had a three page essay to write on Shakespeare).
Sasuke tried not to think about school, about his old friends, about how everything had changed, but somehow the thoughts kept invading his mind. The party five months ago… He was drunk and dancing with his friends. All the girls tried to dance with him, fighting each other to get a chance with him. But Sasuke didn't care about the girl, he only wanted to dance with one person, his friend Neji. Sasuke had kept his secret to himself for the longest time, but as he watched the Hyuga standing in the corner drinking a beer, his hormones raged. Sasuke walked over to the brown haired boy. Before Neji could greet his friend though, Sasuke had taken a risk and pressed his lips to the pair in front of him.
Sasuke refused to allow himself to get emotional and began to focus back on his essay. He would not think about how Neji had pushed him down. He would not think about how Neji had trashed him out and made everyone laugh at him for being a homo. He would not think about how he got up and ran out of the teen-filled house. He would not think about how he went from top of the high school social ladder to the bottom in a mere night. He would not think about the amount of times his locker had been vandalized and the amount of times he was tripped in the hallways. He would not think about the amount of times he had been beaten up in the boy's bathroom at school, only to come home to his father who yelled at him and criticized him. And Sasuke wouldn't think about how his eyes began to sting from wanting to cry.
He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes as he took a few deep breaths. Men don't cry, crying was weak, and Sasuke certainly couldn't be weak. He was vaguely aware of the door opening and closing and his father walking into the room. Thankfully, Sasuke picked his head up just as his father walked into the room. Was it that late already? Sasuke looked out the window to see that night had fallen, he looked at the clock and saw it was eight at night. Sasuke looked down at his essay and saw he had only written half a page. He began to panic as the realization hit that he had fallen asleep.
"Sasuke," His father barked, coming over to his son, "Have you done any work at all since you got home? This is pathetic! Your brother would have completed all his homework and cleaned half the house by the time I got home."
"I'm sorry Father," Sasuke mumbled. He may have been top of his class, but Itachi had been an exceptionally smart child and Sasuke just wasn't as good as him.
"You're pathetic," Fugaku growled at his son. Sasuke simply nodded his head, knowing that saying anything against his father would only make the situation worse.
"Get out of my sight."
Sasuke gathered up his books and walked upstairs to his room. Shutting the door, Sasuke set his books on his desk. He would always be a failure in his father's eyes. He was never good enough, he never did anything right, and he would never be able to redeem himself. Sasuke walked over to his bed and punched it in frustration, no matter how hard he tried it just wasn't good enough!
He sat down against his bed, letting his head hang. How much longer could he actually put up with trying so hard and never being enough. His grades were excellent, he did all his chores, but he wasn't fast enough, he didn't do them good enough. Sasuke gritted his teeth. Couldn't his father ever give him a break and just be proud of him for once? Could just once his father not look at him like he was supposed to be Itachi and look at him as his other son, Sasuke? Didn't his father ever consider that he had enough going on at school without him always talking down on him?
School. How stupid he had been to think that just for a moment he would have been accepted. He regretted ever kissing Neji. Although he no longer had any sort of affection for Neji, he still wished he could go back and be friends. Sasuke began to shake as he thought of all the things his peers had done to him since Neji had humiliated him. Spray painting his locker with 'FAG', breaking into his locker and filling it with mud, tripping him in the hallways, beating him up in the bathrooms, mocking him constantly. Would it ever be enough? Would it ever end?
All the pain began to catch up to Sasuke and the tears came with the pain. Would it ever end? No. Sasuke would always be a disgrace anywhere he went. Sasuke began to cry as everything closed in on him, targeting him all at once. He wasn't able to calm himself down this time, he wasn't able to control it. He thoughts screaming at him. Their words echoing throughout his mind. He could still remember every bruise and every comment that had ever been made. Sasuke began to hug his knees, trying not to shake uncontrollably. He didn't want this life for him. He didn't want any of the pain or the disgrace. Sasuke had only wanted to make his father proud, had only wanted to excel, but he never did and he knew he never would. What was a life worth living if happiness would never be an option?
Sasuke reached into his desk drawer and pulled out his pocket knife. He wanted to escape all this pain, he wanted to escape all their echoing words, he wanted to end all his suffering. Living obviously just wasn't what he was supposed to do. Sasuke dragged the blade across his wrist, wincing from the sharp pain that shot through his arm. Red liquid squeezed itself from the wound and slid down his arm. It wasn't enough, the small cut wasn't good enough for him. Sasuke took the blade and dug it deeper into his arm, biting his lip to refrain from making a sound. The blood inside rushed to the surface faster this time and more spilled out. The sensation pleased him in a strange way, a weird comfort that he was beginning to enjoy.
Sasuke ripped his skin open, letting all that yelled inside him bleed out onto the carpet. He switched hands and began to cut into his other wrists, the pain uncomfortable yet wonderful. He did it again and again and soon his arms were covered in cuts, bleeding out. Sasuke sighed and let his head rest against his bed, finally finding some sort of love from a blade. The blade didn't hate him, it was his only true friend, the only thing he received affection from. Sasuke allowed his eyes close, knowing that he would soon bleed to death. He knew he wouldn't be missed, he was a disappointment to everyone. Who would care?
Naruto.
The obnoxious blond haired boy popped into his head. Naruto cared about him, Naruto wasn't disappointed in him, Naruto would miss him. Sasuke stood up and dropped the blade onto the red stained carpet, he couldn't die just yet. He couldn't leave Naruto with no answers. Naruto was the only one who had ever been kind to him through everything. Sasuke grabbed a black jacket and zipped it up, covering his bleeding arms. He made his way downstairs, passing the wall clock to see it was ten forty at night. Would Naruto even still be up?
"Where do you think you're going."
Sasuke brought his hand away from the front door and turned around to see his father glaring down at him.
"Out."
"I can see that. To do what?"
"None of your business," Sasuke snapped back. It wasn't like his father cared anyway.
Fugaku smacked his disrespectful child and yelled at him, "You are going right back up to you room!"
Sasuke turned around and began to open the door.
"You walk out that door, don't you dare come back!"
Sasuke smirked and opened the front door, stepped out, and shut it behind him. His father would be happy he was gone and out of the way. He wouldn't miss Sasuke at all, and Sasuke knew it. Sasuke walked down the front steps and began his way to Naruto's house. Naruto lived only a block away and Sasuke prayed that the deep gashes in his arm wouldn't kill him just yet. He needed to say goodbye.
Sasuke began to feel lightheaded the closer he got to Naruto's house, he was vaguely aware of the blood dripping down his arm and his hand, and stained the sidewalk in small splatters. Sasuke forged on, determined to say goodbye to the only one who cared about him, the only one he cared about. He wished he had let Naruto get closer to him, he wished he had spent more time with the hyper boy, he wished he had allowed himself to feel the emotions he knew he had for the boy.
Sasuke trudged to Naruto's door and knocked, praying that the boy was still awake. He wanted to say goodbye, he had to say goodbye.
"Hello- Sasuke?"
"Hey Naruto," Sasuke mumbled, letting his hair fall in front of his eyes as he looked down at Naruto's bare feet.
"Wh-what's up?"
Sasuke began to feel dizzy, "I wanted to thank you."
"Thank me? For what? Come in," Naruto said, stepping to the side for Sasuke to enter the rather disorganized one-floor house.
Sasuke shook his head but the slight action made him feel worse, "For caring about me."
The always joking boy now looked serious and confused, he could sense something greatly wrong with his friend. "Sasuke, what's going on."
Before Sasuke could respond Naruto gasped out and grabbed the thin boy's wrist, "Sasuke your bleeding!" Naruto had just noticed the small amount of blood, collecting on his porch under Sasuke's hand. Sasuke tried to pull his arm away and run but Naruto held tightly and pushed up the soaked sleeve.
"Sasuke! Sasuke what the hell!" Naruto cried out in fear. The arm was covered with blood, blood pooling out from the deep cuts all over. It seemed that there was barely any patch of skin that hadn't been cut open on the thin boy's arm.
The dizziness got worse and Sasuke felt as though the world was spinning. His arm screamed in pain from the pressure of Naruto's tight grip and he tried to pull away but he felt his body growing weaker. He had already lost so much blood.
"Sasuke! Sasuke!" The blond shouted as his friend began to sway and fell forward. Naruto grabbed Sasuke just before he hit the hard wooden floor. He pushed the black jacket off his friend's one arm and saw even more cuts going all the way up to Sasuke's shoulder. The black jacket was soaking with blood.
Sasuke looked up at Naruto's fearful face. When did he become shorter than Naruto? Where did the arms around him come from?
"Help! Somebody help!" Naruto yelled out, tears beginning to form in his eyes. He couldn't lose Sasuke. He was just starting to make progress and he hadn't even been able to tell Sasuke his true feelings. Naruto had loved his friend for a long time, and when he heard that Sasuke was gay also, hope had surged through him. He tried his hardest to just spend time with the black-haired loner, hoping to be friends first until he worked up the courage to tell him his deep feelings.
"N-Naru-to…" Sasuke breathed out, looking up into the face of his crush with half-lidded eyes. Naruto looked down at Sasuke's eyes, they were slowly fading of life. Tears streamed down Naruto's face, he wanted to save Sasuke so much, but he knew that it was too late. Naruto couldn't form any words as Sasuke slowly brought his bare bloody arm up to his face. Sasuke's hand cupped the tea-streaked cheek.
"I'm… sorry… Naruto… I lo-…"
The bleeding teen's sentence was never finished. The light completely faded from his eyes. Naruto froze, gasping for air as the hand caressing his cheek slowly descended, whipping his face with the blood that had dripped onto Sasuke's hand. Naruto hugged the lifeless body close to him, ignoring the blood staining him and his floor.
"Sasuke!"