"dun dun dun dun dun dun bene neeeeehhhh…" Tweek hummed the mission impossible theme song as he crawled along the floors it was the middle of second period, and Tweek was freaking out! Well, freaking more than usual that is. That very morning Eric Cartman had sat on Tweek's thermos spilling hot coffee all over the bottom of his pants and effectively shattering the poor thing. Making a move to punch him Tweek had flinched before closing his eyes. When he opened them, Kenny had used the powers he had obtained from his last trip to hell to effectively strip Cartman and tie him to a wooded pole with his own clothes. Craig Tucker had arrived shortly after, kicked Cartman in his family jewels, flipped off Stan and Kyle, nodded at Kenny and wrapped Tweak in a bear hug. As much as he loved his boyfriend it didn't change the fact that he had NO FRIGGIN' COFFEE ERIC CARTMAN YOU FATASS! And everyone knows when Tweak doesn't get his coffee, he gets antsy and the last time that happened they had to rebuild the woodshop. So what was he doing crawling down the hallway on his belly? It's very simple. If he didn't bring coffee there was only one place to get it. The teachers lounge.
So moving quietly, (or so he thought) he wiggled down the hall to stop outside the lounge. Tweek paused, his hand hovering above the door 'was that….moaning?' he wondered "oh yeah! Spear me!" was that Chef? "oh….OH! m'kay"
….oh sweet baby Jesus was Chef a masochist? And Mr. Mackey was helping? Oh god too much pressure! "YES! SPEAR ME JUST LIKE THAT!" Tweak began to hyperventilating 'what did his therapist say to do when he got upset? Think about something else ok….um therapist coming from the word- wait holy shit therapist theRAPIST the rapist! Oh god oh god oh god um songs that's it! I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing...just praying to a god that I don't believe in….I got time while she got freedom…..cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even what the hell is that supposed to mean! Can you go to jail for overhearing two people's private time? Time like jail time…I'll be doing time while some bitch tries to steal away Craig! Who would do something like that? An image of Bebe Stevens popped into his head, of her 'perfect' curves and long, flowing blonde hair, he felt his shoulders begin to shake at the idea of Craig leaving him and he quickly dismissed the subject. Tweek took a deep breath and clutched at the doorknob.
'you can't always play it safe, Tweek someday your gonna have to get out of the kiddie pool and go over the deep end'
Someone had told him that once…who was it? Did it even matter Chef could be bleeding out while he considered going in! But what if he wasn't what if he was just pretending to make him rush in so he and Mr. Mackey could ass rape him! Oh god TOO MUCH PRESSURE! Tweek took a deep breath, opened the door and…promptly screamed at the top of his lungs.
Craig sat in class, absentmindedly twirling a pencil. Mr. Mackey had yet to arrive, leaving everyone to do their own thing. Kyle and Stan were making out in the corner of the room, Cartman and Wendy were attempting to stare each other down and Bebe tried to flirt with him. A scream rang out and Craig jumped out of his seat 'that was Tweak! HIS Tweak' Craig ran, bursting out the door and skidding down the hallways, Kenny right on his heels. Outside the teachers lounge, Tweak lay curled up in a heap, his hands over his eyes. Craig dropped to his knees and pulled him into a hug "what's wrong, Tweek?"
He muttered something about coffee and jail, while his hands slid off his face to hug Craig back "faggots!" Cartman yelled Kenny dug his elbow into his ribs "Fatass, shut up"
Craig flipped them both off and hugged Tweak tighter "I don't understand" he told him gently Tweak lifted up a quivering finger to point at the teachers lounge, the door had been flung open wide and Craig could see a naked Chef and Mr. Mackey. It all came together, "you assholes! For gods sake put some fucking clothes on!" they blushed but complied, scrambling out the door and running past a group of traumatized 6th graders.
"Seriously, Tweak, are you alright?" he nodded and smiled sweetly "I'll be gah! Fine I just…..f-freaked out, I'm sorry" Craig leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss to his eyelids, mentally reminding himself to kick Mr. Mackey and Chef's ass when the boy continued to shake. "It's not your fault, anyone in your position would have freaked out, okay?" when he didn't answer, Craig looked down and was surprised to see Tweek resting his head against his chest, fast asleep. Craig smiled, surprising the few people still gathered and stood up. Mumbling, Tweek shifted and snuggled down into his embrace. "mnnaaahhh….Gnomes!...*mumble* destroy….Cartman" he smirked as everyone else shuddered and drew back…..maybe Tweek should stop spending so much time with Craig.