Title: Switched

Author: Kathy Rose

Rating: T

Category: Drama/humor

Disclaimer: Everything belongs to someone else, etc., etc., etc. I'm not making any money, I'm just having fun with the characters. Wish I'd thought of them first.

Summary: Two of the senior officers switch bodies. How will it affect them, and how will it affect their relationships with the other officers? There is some shippage, but not what you're thinking.

CHAPTER 1

Hoshi woke disoriented in the darkness. The mission down to the planet must have taken more out of her than she realized. Her head felt heavy as she swung her legs over the edge of her bunk, only to cry out in pain as her toes rammed against the bulkhead.

"What the--?"

Her voice sounded strange to her ears. She shook her head, trying to clear it. OK, she must have been downright exhausted to have climbed into bed with her head at the opposite end from usual. No wonder she'd tried to get out of bed on the wrong side.

She'd been so worn out that she'd come to her cabin as soon as she had been released from decon. Malcolm had given her a quick peck on the cheek as they left sickbay together, saying there was something in the armory he wanted to check before he retired for the night and that he'd see her in the morning. Poor baby! He was tired too, but he wouldn't admit it because of his male ego.

Damn if it didn't feel as if her toes were swelling, she thought as she rubbed the aching digits. They felt bigger than usual. She must have cracked them good.

What had woken her in the first place? Oh, yeah. She had to use the bathroom.

Still groggy despite her smarting toes, she unsteadily got to her feet. Maybe she ought to go see Doctor Phlox. Her balance was off. Not only that, her perception seemed to be out of whack. The pieces of furniture she could see in the almost pitch-black room seemed smaller, or at least closer to the floor, and they weren't in the right places.

Maybe decon hadn't gotten rid of something she'd picked up on the planet. Or maybe, she thought as she staggered toward the bathroom, rearranging her cabin was Travis' idea of a joke. If so, she was going to kill him. She could have hurt herself running into her desk or tripping over her chair.

She fumbled for the switch for the bathroom light. She finally found it lower than where it was supposed to be. Actually moving the switch panel seemed a little too much effort for even Travis to go to for a practical joke, she thought as she flipped the switch.

Starting toward the toilet, she stopped in mid-stride. Her shower wasn't to the left of the commode like this one. She never left the seat up on the toilet, either. And she hadn't left a towel lying on the deck. She was very neat.

Oh-oh. Had she been so tired that she had accidentally gotten into someone else's quarters? Was that even possible?

Turning her head to glance around, the mirror's reflection of her movement caught her attention and she jumped as she gazed at the image staring back at her. Her hands flew to her mouth in shock, and the reflection copied her movement exactly.

Even her hands over her mouth didn't muffle her scream.

Jon tossed and turned, trying to go back to sleep. He was so tired. The only thing he wanted to do was sleep until his alarm woke him in the morning. He must be getting old. He was feeling every single year of his age after a routine survey mission on what had turned out to be a deserted planet.

Licking his dry lips and trying to swallow, he knew he wasn't going back to sleep until he got a drink of water. No sense in postponing it. The sooner he got up and got some water, the sooner he could go back to sleep.

He pushed himself up to a sitting position and blinked, trying to clear his vision. He rubbed his eyes as he started to stand but hurriedly put his arms out to steady himself. Damn, he felt weird! He wasn't lightheaded. It was more like his center of gravity had shifted. Was something wrong with the grav plating?

He'd get that drink of water and if that didn't help, he'd comm Phlox. He'd gone through decon after getting back from the planet, but maybe he was coming down with something else.

He carefully made his way to the bathroom, which seemed farther away than usual. Not bothering to turn on the light, he padded to the sink and felt along the edge for the cup he kept there but couldn't find it.

Had Porthos gotten in here and knocked it off the sink? Anything on the deck was fair game, but the beagle was usually pretty good about leaving things alone that were on tables or countertops. Maybe Porthos had gotten bored while he was away today.

No, that wasn't it. The sink was a little higher than Porthos could jump. He must have just misplaced it. Feeling to one side along the countertop in search of the elusive cup, Jon leaned against the sink and suddenly froze.

The countertop should be pushing against his leg about midway up his thigh. The pressure he felt, however, was at hip level. What the hell was going on?

Turning to reach behind him, he flipped the light switch and froze again at the sight of his hand as the light came on. The fingers were delicate and small, the nails adorned with a clear polish. Looking down at himself, his breath seized in his chest as he saw two fleshy mounds pushing against the front of a blue Starfleet undershirt.

He whirled to face the mirror over the sink to find the image of Hoshi Sato staring back at him in wide-eyed horror.

Hoshi had her second shock on the way to sickbay.

She probably should have commed the doctor to come to her but she had to get out of the captain's cabin. She might look like the captain right now but she wasn't him.

And how did she get in his cabin to begin with?

What the hell was going on? Was she going crazy or was she dreaming? Of one thing she was certain -- she needed help.

It was strange walking the corridors of Enterprise. Thank God it was late and there weren't any crewmembers around. She didn't know what she'd do if she ran into somebody.

Walking felt clumsy. Her stride was longer than she was used to and she had to concentrate not to take what must look like short, mincing steps in her usual gait. Then, stepping into the turbolift, she had to duck to avoid hitting her head...the captain's head...whatever.

She reached over to punch the control panel in the turbolift and missed by several centimeters. Damn it! Everything was lower than she was used to!

She exited the turbolift and strode quickly toward sickbay, trying to get used to the feeling of being in an unfamiliar body with longer legs. She was starting to get the hang of it when she turned the corner and came face to face with herself.

Even with the shock of seeing herself, Hoshi had to be honest. She wasn't face to face -- she was looking down. She was used to looking up at people. This was a totally different experience.

She saw the other's mouth move and heard her own voice say, "Hoshi?"

"Captain?" she guessed in turn, and flinched at the deep tenor of the voice that came from her throat.

The other nodded, stepped forward and grabbed her arm, and turned toward the sickbay doors. Still in shock, Hoshi stood her ground as the captain -- in her body! -- tried to tug her toward sickbay.

"Come on, Hoshi!" he hissed.

Hoshi nodded and allowed herself to be pulled into sickbay.

The lights were dim and Phlox's creatures were quiet as they entered. Knowing the doctor's habits, however, Hoshi wasn't surprised to see him seated at a console despite the late hour.

"Captain! Ensign!" the doctor called out as he rose to meet them. "What brings you to sickbay at this time of night?"

Hoshi traded a glance with herself -- the captain, not myself! she thought. If I'm not crazy already, this situation is enough to make me insane.

Hoshi wondered if Phlox, with his keen interest in human nature, was picking up on the subtle nuances. Seeing Jon in her body, she'd detected an aura of confidence that she usually lacked. It was apparent in his posture, the shoulders thrown back, the chin tilted up.

On the other hand, she could feel the body she was in slouching in a defensive, withdrawn posture, and she was wringing her hands. She'd never seen the captain do that.

From next to her she heard her voice say, "We have a problem."

Once again the mismatched pair traded glances.

Looking at her with a smile, Phlox suggested, "Perhaps you could tell me, Captain."

Before she could stop herself, Hoshi blurted out, "I'm not the captain. She is. I mean, he is. Oh hell! I don't know what I mean."

Phlox usual smile slowly faded into a frown and he looked back at Jon in Hoshi's body. "The captain seems to be having some sort of delusion."

"No, he's not!" Jon said. "I'm the captain, despite the fact that I look like Hoshi."

"A mass hallucination, perhaps, or a joint delusion?" Phlox murmured thoughtfully.

"No!" Hoshi shouted, startling herself at the volume of the male voice issuing from her throat. Making a conscious effort to calm herself, she said in a more normal tone, "Something's happened to us. We've...switched bodies, I think."

Phlox stared at them as Hoshi silently willed him to believe them.

"Ah-hah!" the doctor said suddenly with an enormous grin, making both of them jump. "This is one of Mr. Mayweather's practical jokes. Really, Captain. I thought you were above taking part in--"

"Doctor!" Jon screamed, and Hoshi could see his surprise at the feminine shriek he'd generated. He gulped and forged on. "This isn't a joke! Something's happened to us. Whatever it is that makes me me has been transferred to Hoshi, and vice versa."

Jon paused to run a hand over his face, stopping momentarily to gaze in shock at the hand in front of his face.

"Please," he said as he lowered the hand. "Check us out. Do some sort of examination. We aren't lying and we aren't trying to play some sort of sick game."

To Hoshi's relief, Phlox slowly nodded in agreement, but as he turned away, she heard him mutter something about humoring patients before being able to begin treatment.

As the doctor began readying instruments, Hoshi remembered why she had woken up in the first place and hoped he would work quickly. Somehow, though, she didn't think he'd have an answer before she'd have to use the bathroom.