Stupid Boy by Keith Urban.Well, she was precious like a flowerShe grew wild, wild but innocentA perfect prayer in a desperate hourShe was everything beautiful and differentStupid boy, you can't fence that inStupid boy, it's like holding back the windshe laid her heart and soul right in your handsAnd you stole her every dream and you crushed her plansShe never even knew she had a choice and that's what happensWhen the only voice she hears is telling her she can'tStupid boy, stupid boyOhSo what made you think you could take a lifeAnd just push it push it aroundI guess you build yourself up so highYou had to take her and break her downshe laid her heart and soul right in your handsAnd you stole her every dream and you crushed her plansShe never even knew she had a choice and that's what happensWhen the only voice she hears is telling her she can'tYou stupid boyOh, you always had to be right but now you've lostThe only thing that ever made you feel aliveYeah, yeahWell, she laid her heart and soul right in your handsAnd you stole her every dream and you crushed her plansYes, ya didShe never even knew she had a choice and that's what happensWhen the only voice she hears is telling her she can'tYou stupid boy, oh, I'm the same oldSame old stupid boyIt took awhile for her to figure out she could runBut when she did, she was long goneLong gone, long goneAh, she's goneNobody's ever gonna love me like she loved meAnd she loved me, she loved meGod please, just let her knowI'm sorry, I'm sorryI'm sorry, I'm sorryBaby, yeah, I'm down on my kneesShe's never coming back to me
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or the song Stupid Boy!
Summary: Edward and Bella are fighting and Bella walks out, leaving Edward alone and thinking about what they were fighting about. (Bella's turning) Edward thinks Bella is going to leave him for good and thinks how stupid he was for telling her no so many times and expecting her to stay with him anyway. How controlling he was with her and how he would always tell her she couldn't when it came to things she wanted. Like being a vampire. Having sex with him. Joining the fights to save the family. Risking her life. Mostly the part about be a vampire because that's the only thing she ever really wanted him to do for her and he refused. Then he runs into Mike and Emmett who totally don't help his horrible mood and point out more reasons Bella should/would have left him.
Edward's POV.
Why are we still discussing this anymore. Didn't I say no? We have been sitting on her bed for the last 8 hours talking about this. She won't stop begging me. I wish she would see my point and let it go, but I guess she can't. It's not like you can just understand these things without feeling the pain. I know what she wants but there is no way I can give in to her. Not with this, not! I won't risk her; I can't and I won't put her through that kind of pain. I won't do it! I won't. I can't.
"Bella will you please stop asking me! You can't have this."
"Why not? … Why won't you just tell me what the real problem is here? Edward I want this. I know what I'm loosing but I know what I will gain! Please Edward!" Bella begged again.
I wrap her in my arms again and pull her close to me. She needs to sleep but if she keeps this up she will be up all night.
"Bella you need to rest, Love!"
"No. That is not an answer. If you can't answer me then why won't you just give me what I want!" Bella demanded.
"Bella I already explained this to you. You don't understand. I love you and I do want you; forever! But I won't risk you like that and I can't cause you that much pain! Bella, I'm sorry but I just can't. Now please try to sleep?"
It was hopeless. I knew that but I had to try and get her to sleep, at least a little. Maybe I should try humming to her, maybe that will calm her. …. Maybe not? I just don't see why she wants this? … Any of this. She wants me to turn her. She wants to be with a monster forever and she is willing to risk her life, HER SOUL, to be with me? There isn't a single member of my family that wouldn't trade anything to be human again. Well that's not true. I wouldn't want to be human if it took Bella away! She's my life and I love her. If I could I would trade anything else to be human for her!
"Edward. I'm not tired and I will not sleep until you answer me." Bella demanded.
"I am not risking your life Bella. I won't hurt you like that. You are too beautiful and perfect to hurt like that."
"How is it hurting me if it's what I want Edward?" She asked.
"NO. Bella I can't and I won't. You can't have this Bella!"
"FINE! … Let go!" She yelled and climbed out of the bed and started looking around the room. …
Bella was mad, that was for sure but I couldn't hurt her. What was she doing now? She started searching angrily around the room. She found a change of cloths and then her jacket and then she put on her shoes? … Where was she going at this hour?
"Bella what are you doing?"
"I'm leaving!" Bella shouted.
It's a good thing her father wasn't home this night. WAIT? What did she say? ….. Leaving, now?
"Where are you going? It's too late Bella. Come back to bed. If you are mad at me then I'll leave."
"Oh no you don't" She pushed me back on the bed. "You are not going anywhere Cullen. Stay! I'm leaving and you can't stop me. If you want to leave when I'm gone fine. But you can not stop me!" Bella was getting really angry and with all the running around she was doing I was afraid she was going to trip in the dark.
"Bella You can't go out! It's too dark and too late. Where could you possibly be going?"
"Anywhere I want Edward!" Bella yelled at me again. "I hate this Edward! You are always telling me NO, You can't and I am sick of it! MAYBE I'm going to find some one that WILL give me what I want!" Bella said as she slammed the door.
I could hear her stomping down the stairs and slam the front door as well. I couldn't move. I couldn't do anything, just sit there. On her bed, staring at the door, and listening to her truck pull away as she pushed it to go above 50. I couldn't do anything. I knew I wanted to. To do something, anything. To stop her, to bring her back, to ask her if that was what she really said? But I know that's what she said and that she doesn't want to see me right now. She left me. She went to find some …. What? Was she going to try and find another vampire that will turn her? She wouldn't … would she? It doesn't matter my family won't doing anything and there isn't any other vampires in town. But with my luck Bella will find something dangerous out there in the dark. I wish I could move!
…
Bella's POV.
That overprotective, irritating, no answering, absolutely perfect man. I can't believe we were arguing again? It seems like that's all we do these days. Argue, argue, argue. I feel so bad because I know its my fault. Edward loves me I know that! But when he tells me no all the time its hard to believe he loves me. I know that I could ask for anything else in the world and Edward would give it to me, no problem. I mean he practically begs me to let him buy me things or let him help me with things but I tell him no. I guess this is only fair then. But I want him. I want all of him and I want his love forever. Is that really so bad! … But now look at me; I'm driving around, in the dark, LOST and its all because I got a little mad and blew up at him. I hate it when I do that. Maybe I should call Alice or something. ….. Oh, What's that light up ahead?
…
Emmett's POV.
Rosie sent me out to the yard. I didn't mean to get in her way but really? I love watching her work on cars. She looks so sexy and man when she starts talking car parts and tools! …. Well it really wasn't my fault. But I guess I can see that I was getting in her way. Oh well, we can pick that back up later tonight I guess! I wonder what I should do now? … Maybe Edward will want to go wrestle or something? That is if I can manage to drag the guy away from Bella! Ha! Good luck with that huh! Well might as well try right! So I ran off to Bella's. Its like almost noon so she should be up by now. The house sounds empty? Maybe Edward took Bella to get lunch or something. I'll just check the dinner. It's a good thing the woods are around it makes running around town a lot simpler. Not at the dinner. Oh, Does Bella work today? … Maybe he is there with her. Good thing it's close! I think I even hear Edward!
(From a distance) "I mean it KID, Its got nothing to do with you!" Edward yelled.
"All I'm saying is you screwed up. Big time!" Sound like Mike is asking for trouble today. "You can't fence her in like that. Bella is like the wind. You should've seen this coming BOY!"
"Hey, bro! What are you up to today!"
"EMMETT? … Not now!" Edward yelled at me.
I just walked in the door and he is yelling. Well this won't be much fun. Wake up on the wrong side of Bella this morning?
"Emmett,… Really I'm in no mood for this!" Edward seems really pissed about something.
"Its your fault you are in this mood. Don't take it out on him!" Mike said. "Bella left you because of you. Not your brother"
Hold the phone! … WHAT DID HE SAY? Bella did what?
"What happened? …. What does he mean Bella left! Is she hurt or something? Did you piss her off…. Where is my little Sis?"
"MIKE! … If you don't shut up I will KILL YOU!" Edward seemed to mean it too. Man is he pissed! "Emmett Not another thought got it!" Sorry Bro!
"Well what ever happened I'm sure it will be fine."
Come to think of it Bella and him have been fighting a lot more and she was getting a little irritated with him. Maybe she just had enough for the moment. All over the whole turning Bella thing. I think it's a little stupid if you ask me. I mean Bella wants to be one and she loves Edward so where's the problem? She practically gave him her heart and soul. He then tells her no and all her dreams and plans to be with our family and him forever are crushed. Down the drain and out to sea! … I guess her other choice would be to just find a different vampire to change her and then come join the family but it's not like Edward would really want that either. Maybe if he didn't tell her she can't all the time Bella wouldn't have left. … Right! ……. Ouch!
"Hey! … what was that for!"
"Because I hate you right now and it was the first thing I could throw!" Edward bellowed. oops sorry Bro!
"If you brake something, then you bought it Boy!" Mike called. "Besides, What made you think you could take control of her life and push her around like that anyway! I mean I guess if you wanted to build yourself up then you had to break her down right? … But Bella deserves better than that!"
"MIKE! I swear … If you don't STOP….I'll, I'll ….!" Edward was starting to loose it. "Uhhhhhgggrrrrr! I don't know! But it won't be pretty and you won't like it! Trust ME!"
"Dude, Mike I think you better chill. He might actually kill you right now!" Which would be bad, but fin to watch!
"All I'm saying is that you always had to be right when it came to her. But now look what it got you. You lost her!" Mike continued unaware and unfazed by Edward's death glares. "You lost the only thing worth living for and now what? …. You stupid boy! I bet you don't even fully realize what you lost, do you?"
"Hey now! … Mike you really should learn to shut up. And soon, Edward loves Bella and he knows her worth more then you or any other dickhead in this town."
Bella couldn't have gotten far right. … She would come back and then everything will be fine. I mean it took her a while to figure out that she could run… and she may be gone now, even long gone. But she can't stay gone right? …. Maybe.
"That's it! …. I'M OUT OF HERE!" Edward stormed out of the store and Dumb Ass over here barely noticed he was gone. Just went right back to work. Well guess Edward isn't going to be any fun today! Maybe Jasper will come hunting with me or something!
…
Edward's POV.
I am so stupid, stupid, stupid, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID! Of course she would leave! Stupid, Stupid! How could I let this happen. How could I let her leave, it was too dark, too late. Who knows where she is or what happened to her. She could be hurt? Or lost or, or … I can't even think it! Uhggrrr. Now I'm stuck driving around this stupid town, looking everywhere I could think of, and there is no sign of her anywhere. She didn't even come in for work today and I had to deal with that VILE MIKE. …. I hate him! And yet he had been right. …. All this is my fault and now Bella is hurt somewhere, ALONE and its all my fault! ……….
{Song comes on the radio - Stupid Boy by Keith Urban}
OOOOH, Well that's just great! Mock me why don't you. YES, I Edward Cullen screwed up and now the whole world is out to tell me! THANKS A LOT. …. Like I didn't know it already you just had to remind me huh. I hate the radio. ………… Sighs. Slowly I start to sing along because there is nothing better to do then admit that I am stupid and that this song was made just for me. Some how I end up driving back to her house and I am parked in her driveway when the end of the song comes.
"….. Now she's gone and left me. … She loved me, she loved me, GOD please. Just let her know I'm sorry, I'm sorry,I'm sorry,I'm sorry! Baby. … Yeah, I'm down on my knees. She's never coming back to me."
Never coming back. ….. Bella is never coming back. I, … I, … I can't stop sobbing. Not even long enough to think. I miss her. I love her. I LOST HER! I hope she is happy …. I hope she is safe. Where ever she is just GOD please, let her be safe! I will never forgive myself if something happens to her because I was too weak! Too stupid!
"BELLA! …….. I'M SO SORRY!"
{Ping, ping, plunk} Huh? … I look up and see a small pebble roll down the front of my car… I turn around to see Bella standing in the road by to truck. The thing is now covered in mug and so is she. I get out of my car as fast as I can and see she is only a good 5 yards from me. She doesn't look mad …. But I better not chance it. I am after all at her house. She didn't come here to find me she came home. …. I should leave.
"Your car is in my spot." Bella said dully.
"I was just…… I was just leaving. Sorry."
At least she is safe and now she is home. She didn't find an vampires last night so that's good …. at least. I can leave now. If she wants to me to leave, I can leave. Just get in the car and drive away! Come on, you can do it. Just go! ……. I was trying to convince myself to leave so I didn't notice her come closer at first but then I saw her only a mere 3 feet away. She was still coming closer. … She most be waiting for me to move my car. I take a deep breath and get back into the seat but before I could close the door, Bella sits down in my lap? What is she doing now?
"I'm sorry Edward! … I didn't mean to make you worry so much. I was just mad and I don't know. I needed to think, I guess. Then I got lost and stuck in the mud and well my cell was on the table and then Emmett came….." Bella was apologizing.
I'm sure there was more to what she was saying but I couldn't listen anymore. So I kissed her, effectively telling her she was wrong and that she should stop talking. When she needed to breath I was kissing down her neck, back up and across her jaw line. In between every kiss was an 'I'm sorry' or 'I love you'! I was the one at fault and I was the one to apologize not her! I may not be able to give her want she wants, but I will spent the rest of her life showing her just what she means to me. I love her more then anything in the world. She will never misunderstand that, ever! And I will never let her leave in the middle of the night again!