What Might Have Been
Summary: "Do you ever wonder what might have happened if we stayed together…"
Author's Note: I wrote this ages ago and just discovered it on my computer, so I thought I'd share! It was inspired by "What Might Have Been" by Little Texas, one of my favorite songs. I hope you like it and reviews are much appreciated! Oh, flashbacks are in italics, the song at the end is too!
Disclaimer: That 70's Gang is not mine…at least not yet….and I'm working on buying the song from Little Texas…but so far…it's still theirs…boo
The town was exactly as she remembered it. She could see the way time had aged it, though. The buildings were dingy and weather-worn. The houses were a little beaten and some were totally rundown. It was home, though, and she couldn't stop the jolt of excitement that shot through her. She hadn't been back in almost 15 years, and she had missed it. Strange as that sounded, she missed Point Place a lot. Her whole life had been here at one point, now, she didn't know where anyone from her old life was. It was a dull ache, never knowing what happened to everyone.
She, Jackie Burkhardt-Woods, had escaped Point Place and fled to California. She met Tom Woods at a party and they had instantly clicked. He had been the type of guy she had always wanted- rich, charming, handsome, and perfect. They married in 1984 and moved to Newport, where Jackie spent her time being a rich socialite wife, never needing to work at all since Tom's family was rich.
She was fairly happy for the first few years. Then she had suffered a miscarriage. She'd never been more alone in her life after that. Tom tried to comfort her, but he didn't understand, nobody did. So, Tom began to spend more and more time at the office, and Jackie spent more and more money, trying to fill up the holes in her heart. They tried to have a child again, but Jackie couldn't get pregnant, it was one more broken dream to tuck in her heart. She and Tom were virtual strangers now, and Jackie wished she had ended it a long time ago. He wasn't the man she had married, maybe he'd never been that man, but they were stuck with each other now, too much had happened, and Jackie felt jaded and scarred.
Then the invite came to her in the mail. She'd been shocked, a high school reunion? It was for the classes of 78 and 79, a joint reunion since so many people were friends in both years. Jackie wanted to go the instant she'd seen the invite. She hadn't been home in so long, she wanted to remember who she'd been, the times she'd been truly happy. Tom had insisted on going with her, but he couldn't get time off of work and he'd grudgingly let her go alone. Jackie was glad, maybe for a little while she could be free again.
The taxi passed Point Place High on the way to her hotel, and Jackie smiled at the memories that rushed to her mind. She had missed home so much. It felt amazing to be back.
Then she thought of her last day in Point Place...
She'd finally gotten together with Fez, and was...happy. Happy in the sense that she wanted to get out of bed and live in the morning. She knew she could truly love Fez if she gave him a chance. It was too late for her and Steven, she knew this, but there was that tiny part of her that still held onto her memories.
It was Steven that made her leave. She and Fez had "proved their love", and to put it nicely, it was the worst time Jackie had ever had. She confided in Donna, who consoled her by getting her drunk on wine coolers. Jackie had stumbled to the basement, and ran smack dab into Hyde.
"Sorry..." she mumbled.
He still had his hands on her arms, steadying her.
"A little drunk, Jacks?" He smiled at her, forgetting in his drunken state that she was no longer his "Jacks," and led her to sit down.
"Donna left me, she said she'd be right back, so I'm trying to find her."
"Oh, she and Forman are, uh, a little busy now, if you catch my drift."
Jackie remembered smiling and laughing about nothing as she and Hyde drank beer and watched TV. She could almost forget the pain that she and Steven had inflicted on each other.
The silence fell quickly, and the two ran out of words. Jackie looked at Hyde, he was taking a sip from his beer. He looked at her, and suddenly, the world melted away. She was 17 and sneaking around with Steven Hyde. He kissed her, and she didn't tell him no like she should've, she kissed him right back, instead. They wound up having sex in his old room, on the old cot. I was the best sex she remembered having. In the morning light, she realized the mistake quickly. This was wrong, terribly wrong. She'd dressed quickly; the silence in the small room was oppressive. Steven woke up and dressed beside her, not saying a word. She had her hand on the door, ready to flee the basement and go back to normal.
"Jackie...I'm, uh, sorry." Hyde said, his hand on her arm, wearing only a pair of faded jeans.
"Yeah." was all she had said. Then she ran outside to her car, the early morning rain drenching her.
She shook her head to clear her memories. She didn't need to remember that. Not Steven, not the way he'd kissed her neck and the bruise he'd left oh her hips when he held her to him. Not the way she'd rushed to her apartment and gathered her things, not the note she'd left Fez. Not the cold bus that took her to California. That was all in the past.
The taxi came to a halt in front of the Golden Gate Inn and Jackie grabbed her bags and paid the driver. She checked in and found her room. She looked at the invitation again and sighed. She suddenly felt sick. She wasn't sure if she wanted to face the past. Not today.
After a soothing shower and a drink from the mini bar, she was feeling a bit better. Jackie studied herself in the bathroom mirror. She wore a simple black halter dress and strappy heels. Her hair was loose and curly and her makeup was simple and classy. She looked good, she looked almost happy. She hoped she could fool her former classmates.
She checked her watch and took a deep breath. It was almost 8:00, time to head to The Evergreen, Point Place's only country club and the location of many nice parties and reunions. Jackie had spent many a summer playing in the club pool and watching her mother down margaritas and flirt with the towel boy. She loved and hated that place. She wondered if she would love it or hate it tonight.
The Evergreen had changed quite a bit in the past 15 years. Jackie almost felt sad that the once grand and upscale country club had turned into a rather sad and aged place. She dropped her coat off at the coat-check and headed to the main room. She stopped at the table by the entrance and found her name-tag. The woman sitting behind the table smiled at her, and Jackie was shocked to see her name-tag read Pam Macy- Kelso.
"Pam?"
"Oh my God, Jackie!"
"Wow, it's been a while...you married Michael Kelso?"
"No way, I married Casey. It's been about 10 years for us."
"Wow, that's great."
"Yeah, we're...happy."
Jackie didn't believe her, the fake smile and extra pounds Pam had put on clearly showed Jackie that Pam was miserable, and Jackie actually felt bad for her.
"Well, see ya later," Jackie said as she wandered into the main room. She looked around, scared. She didn't see anyone she knew yet.
She headed to the bar and ordered a glass of red wine. She drank it slowly, hoping to see a familiar face.
"Jackie?" A voice asked behind her.
Jackie turned and saw the familiar face of her once best friend.
"Donna! Oh my God, it's been forever!"
The two hugged and Jackie felt tears welling up in her eyes, she missed Donna a lot. She wanted to call, but she'd never been able to bring herself to.
Jackie learned that Donna and Eric had in fact, gotten married and they had three kids. Eric had been surprised to see Jackie and he'd hugged her with sincerity. They'd all wondered what had happened to the former cheerleader.
She saw Fez with Laurie- they'd never officially divorced and had discovered that they wanted to stay married. They were happily raising two kids. Fez had hugged Jackie and told her the past is forgiven, they were okay. She almost cried right then, she had never wanted to hurt Fez, but he still cared and he told her he'd worried about her.
Michael was with Brooke, they'd married 12 years ago and divorced 8 years ago and remarried each other 6 years ago. They had Betsy and another daughter. Kelso hugged Jackie and remarked that he had truly missed her and she should have at least called.
Jackie felt guilty after all that. She should have called someone and let them know she was okay. Donna told her that Bob and the Forman's all worried and often still asked if anyone knew about Jackie. They all loved her like their own child.
Jackie moved outside to get some air and to be alone for a minute. She still hadn't seen him and she was beginning to wonder.
"Jackie."
She gasped at the familiar voice, and turned to see him. Steven Hyde stood there, hands in his pockets and a small smirk.
"Steven."
He'd hugged her, gently, almost like she'd break if he touched her too hard. She inhaled the scent of his coat- smoke, soap, sweat, and Steven. He smelled exactly as she remembered, that indefinable smell that was just him.
"Where have you been, Jackie, where did you go?" He asked as he released her.
"I had to get out of here, I went to California."
"Oh."
The silence was thick with all the words they could never say to each other. All the memories they could never get rid of.
He finally asked about her life and she told him about Tom and her charity work and her life back in Newport.
He told her about his longtime girlfriend Kate, his daughter, and his store Grooves, which was the most popular music store in Wisconsin, with stores all around the state.
She tried not to look surprised when he mentioned his girlfriend and his daughter. She had never pictured Steven as a dad, well, not to kids that he didn't share with her. There was a small part of her that was glad he hadn't married Kate. Jackie found herself asking why he hadn't married the mother of his child, and when he told her it was because there was only one girl he ever wanted to marry, her heart felt like it was breaking.
"Sam," She whispered softly.
"You." He said, quietly, looking away.
So many things they couldn't ever say when they were together all started to come out then.
"Do you ever wonder what might have happened if we stayed together?" Jackie asked.
"Sometimes."
He couldn't help the husky quality his voice took on as he uttered that one word.
He had never stopped missing Jackie and Jackie had never stopped missing him.
"I loved you, I know I didn't say it enough, but I really did, Jackie"
"I know Steven, but let's not do this now."
Tears slipped down her cheeks and he gently wiped them away with his thumb. He cupped the back of her neck and moved closer to her. They could have one last thing, one last goodbye, couldn't they?
He kissed her with all the passion he could never express and she let him, giving him all the love she'd never been able to let go of.
The kiss ended and they pulled apart.
"Bye, Jacks."
"Bye, Steven."
He walked away and she stood there, letting the tears flow down her cheeks as the music floated through the patio doors, each word breaking her hear a little more…
"Sure I think about you now and then I try not to think about what might have been So try not to think about what might have been That same old look in your eyes And try not to think about what might have been
But it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, and I've moved on
So when you cross my mind...
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And there's no way to know
What might have been We can sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past...
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
It's a beautiful night, I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say good bye, and turn and walk away...
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
No we'll never know, what might have been…"