Beca Mitchell had never been one of those girls who had a lot of friends who were girls. Not until she started college and was recruited into a cult in disguise as an all girls' a cappella group. Slowly but surely, Beca found herself becoming the leader of said cult and participating in girls' night every week, which is totally not the kind of badass image she usually wants to convey. But the heart wants what it wants, and even with her headphones on and the volume turned all the way up, Beca Mitchell can't ignore what the heart says forever. And so after her first year in college, it was goodbye Kimmy Jin, roommate from hell, and hello Bellas' House. Now that she thinks about it, the Bellas have been the best thing that ever happened to her. Three years of great friendship and sisterhood have taught Beca to open her heart, and to give as much love as she has received. Awesome nerds, she calls them. Anywhere in the world, it's hard to find people who care so much about a capella, and even more about each other. The girls have been there for each other through a great many things: they've helped each other study for tests and shared each other's clothes; they've set each other on blind dates and cried together through heartbreaks. And yet, this time, Beca can't bring herself to admit her failure to the people closest to her heart. Not after she has kept the internship a secret from them.
It took a great amount of effort to sneak into her own room without getting noticed. Back in the comfort of her own bed, Beca finally lets out her tears. Her friends have always believed in her. But today, Beca realizes: just because she does a fine job creating mashups for the Bellas' performances does not mean she has what it takes to be a real music producer. Just because Chloe kisses her forehead and whispers in her ear how she thinks she's the most talented person she knows does not mean she's good enough for the world. Oh Chloe…
Chloe always has a way of making Beca feel like she matters, and that everything is going to be okay. Chloe had been the first person to welcome Beca with open arms into the Barden Bellas. In fact, Chloe had been the one who convinced Beca to audition - all thanks to a very intimate duet they shared in the shower that has managed to stay in the back of her head even till this day. When Beca had been reserved and judgemental, Chloe was gracious and kind. Years of pushing people away finally ended when Beca realized that this redhead with a smile so bright that Beca sometimes finds it hard to look directly at her had claimed a permanent place in her heart. They were an unlikely match, but the two became fast friends, and shared a connection like no other. When she closes her eyes, Beca can see Chloe smiling at her, her beautiful blue eyes fixed on Beca, sparkling. Thoughts of Chloe calm her down, and for a split second, Beca forgets what's been troubling her.
A firm knock on her door startles Beca and jolts her out of her thoughts.
"Beca, are you in there?" Chloe asks, a hint of urgency in her voice. Beca sits up as fast as she could, wiping away any traces of tears from her cheeks.
"Just a second, Chlo!" She hurries to the mirror, trying to fix her makeup. The last thing she'd want to do is to make her best friend worried.
Beca makes her way to the door, taking deep breaths to recompose herself. She puts on her best smile and opens the door.
"Hey Chlo!"
"Oh my God, have you been crying?" Chloe pulls Beca into an embrace, her face full of concern. The redhead has always had a way of breaking down any wall Beca has built around her to keep others out, and this time is no exception.
"No!" Beca blurts out defensively. "I mean, yes, a little. But I'm fine now." She lets go of the older girl's embrace. The wall is for Chloe's sake, Beca tells herself.
"What happened?" Chloe insists, determination in her eyes.
"Nothing. I don't want to talk about it." Beca says quietly as she tears her eyes away from Chloe's gaze and makes her way back to her bed. Her shoulder is still warm from where Chloe's face had rested, her neck tingling where she had felt Chloe's breath. There is nothing Beca wants more than to wrap her arms around her best friend again and let everything out. But the thought of being a disappointment to the person who believes in her the most is unbearable.
The wall is for Chloe's sake.
Chloe stays at the door. Even while avoiding her best friend's eyes, Beca can feel the hurt in them."So we keep secrets from each other now?" Chloe asks, her voice strangely monotonous. "I'm guessing we won't talk about your internship either, huh?"
Beca feels her heart stop for a second.
"How did… How did you…" She wants to speak but the words would not come.
Chloe steps into the room and closes the door behind her.
"How long were you planning to keep it from me, Beca?" She says quietly, though not quietly enough to hide the pain in her voice.
"I didn't want to disapoint you when I screw it up." Beca finally answers. The words taste bitter as they roll off her tongue.
"Disappoint me? Do I look like someone you need to impress?" Chloe raises her voice, no longer to contain the hurt she felt.
Beca looks up at her best friend; her eyes finally find Chloe's. Even from a distance, she can see the tears that are threatening to fall.
"Chlo…"
"I believe in you, Beca. I always have." Chloe's words are kind but her voice is harsh. "This internship is a huge deal! It's what you've always dreamed about, and yet I have to find out about it from Fat Amy? How do you think that makes me feel?"
"Chloe, I…" Beca tries to find her voice. Her eyes are stinging as they try to hold back tears.
"No, Beca! There's nothing you could say that would make this okay." Chloe takes a step closer to the younger girl. "After everything we've been through together… Does our friendship even mean anything to you? Or is no one else worthy of your trust beside your boyfriend Jesse?"
Tears finally come streaming down from Chloe's blue eyes. She walks toward Beca and sits down on the bed with her head in her hands.
"I thought we were better friends than this." Chloe admits, her voice breaking.
"Chlo…" Beca speaks softly as she closed the gap between the two. Very gently, she starts stroking Chloe's red curls; the tips of her finger slightly linger on the back of the older girl's neck. The sensation makes her stomach flutter. Almost instantly, Chloe leans in to Beca's touch and lets her head rest on Beca's shoulder.
"You're my best friend in the whole world, Chloe, and I would trust you with my life." Beca confesses.
Chloe stays quiet, her eyes downcast, though her breathing has become more even and her tears stop falling.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you." Beca continues. "This internship was supposed to help me transition to post-college life. And I know how you feel about everyone graduating and going on different paths, Chlo. I don't want all of this to change either!" Beca's hand finds Chloe's, their fingers intertwined. "This…"
Chloe finally lifts her head to face Beca."You and me?" Chloe whispers as she brings Beca's face closer to her own, their foreheads touching. "This won't ever change. And I would never want to hold you back from achieving your dreams, Becs! Don't you know that? I want to be happy for you."
"I know." Beca smiles sadly. "That's why I thought, if you knew I was doing well at the internship, you'd have an easier time accepting it. But today, I found out I totally don't have what it takes to be a music producer. Which is cool and fun to know as I enter the rest of my life."
Silence fills the room for a brief moment as Beca disentangles herself from Chloe's grasp and falls back on her bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling. Chloe lets out a sigh and lies down next to Beca. With their heads resting on their arms, the two girls turn to face each other.
"Beca, you're the most talented person I know." Chloe speaks softly, her free hand tugging a stray strand of hair behind Beca's ear. Her hand then rests on Beca's cheek, her thumb drawing invisible circle on her skin. "You're awesome, you know that? You're Beca effin' Michell! You're the big BM! The first time I heard your voice, I knew you had something really special. Maybe the world just needs some time to learn what I've always seen in you all along. Maybe *you* needs some time to see that as well."
Beca can't help but smile. She hasn't forgotten her reality, but at times like this, Chloe's faith seems to be the only thing in the world she needs.
"Why can't I write original songs, Chlo?" Beca sighs as the top of her head finds the crook of Chloe's neck. The scent of Chloe's perfume sends her into a state of frenzy, and Beca becomes strangely aware of her own accelerating heartbeat.
"Well, you have a lot going on. Maybe your little brain is maxed out right now."
"Are you calling me stupid?" Beca protests as her friend laughs, the warmth of Chloe's voice seeping through her bones.
"No, silly." Chloe says as she lightly kisses the top of Beca's head. "I mean, a little getaway might be good for you. You just need some peaceful place to get your juices flowing, you know? It's hard to be creative when you have so much going on and secrets to keep."
"Good thing we're heading to that retreat, huh?"
"Exactly. No work, no boys." There's a brief pause before Chloe continues. "It'll be good."
"Definitely." Beca agrees. "Just us."
–
When she wakes up the next morning, Beca fails to remember how they had fallen asleep the night before. Chloe is lying next to her, her chest rises and falls steadily as she is still deep in her sleep. Their foreheads are touching, and Beca feels a strange need to close the distance between their bodies as well. Instead, she reaches out lightly to tug a strand of Chloe's hair behind her ear. Chloe does not have any makeup on, but Beca thinks she looks more beautiful than ever. Beca smiles as she memorizes her best friend's features - her ivory skin, her fiery red curls, and her incredibly soft-looking lips. Beca licks her lips as she becomes intensely conscious of the gap between them.
Chloe takes in a deep breath and straightens her body as she slowly opens her eyes. Upon realizing that Beca is right next to her, the corners of her lips slowly turn into a smile.
"Good morning." Beca mirrors the smile as Chloe blinks to adjust to the sunlight.
"Mornin'. Were you watching me sleep, you lil' creep?" Chloe laughs lightly, completely unaware of the fact that her sleepy voice has set off a million butterflies in Beca's stomach.
"Do you really want to go there, shower intruder?" Beca teases.
"Alright alright. So we're both creeps. That's why we're perfect for each other!"
"There you are, lovebirds," says Fat Amy as she barges into the room unannounced. "The bus is here. Finish whatever you've got going on there and get ready!"
Just as abrupt as her entrance, Fat Amy leaves Beca and Chloe alone, though not without sending a meaningful wink their way. It's a running joke among the Bellas that Beca and Chloe are just like a married couple. And while everyone is aware that it is, indeed, a joke, Beca does find it strange that Fat Amy just *happens* to always overnight elsewhere when Chloe is in their shared room. So either it's an incredible coincidence or the Australian is part of some Bellas conspiracy Beca isn't aware of.
"Alright, this ginger needs to get to her morning routine." Chloe yawns as she makes her way out of bed. "You don't just get 'this'." Chloe gestures at her own body as she heads toward the door. Even under her two layers of blankets, Beca finds herself missing Chloe's warmth.
Beca stares at the redhead's figure as she makes her exit, only to be interrupted by the door closing behind her. She had seen Chloe naked once, when she had joined her singing in the shower. Despite the uncomfortable awkwardness of the situation back then, Chloe was completely confident in her physique, and for good reason. While Beca is generally happy with her own body, even to this day, Beca can still recall how the perfect curves and edges of the redhead's body had made her feel like a short, bald British man. The thought of naked Chloe makes her blush. Beca promptly shrugs it off and heads to the bathroom to get ready herself.
–
The retreat takes place in a beautiful place, but after the long car ride to get there, everyone is sufficiently tired that they don't mind having an early night in the overly crowded tent instead of exploring their surroundings. Once the other Bellas are fast asleep, Beca quietly sneaks out to go for a walk. After her conversation with Chloe the night before, she decides it would be a good idea to spend some time alone with her own thoughts. With a flashlight in hand, Beca makes her way to the lake.
The air is pleasantly crisp. A thousand stars glisten upon the deep, dark blue sky, casting silvery reflection on the perfectly tranquil lake. Beca picks up the flattest rock she can find and throws it across the water. The rock skips multiple times, creating a melody that gets softer each time it touches the surface. Beca watches as water becomes still again. She settles down on the far end of the pier, where she can have the best view of the shimmering sky. The gentle breezes give Beca goosebumps, but she doesn't mind. Instead, she puts one finger in the water, creating ripples of her own. For a moment there, all the stress that comes with her internship, with graduation, with the World Championship seems to dissolve in the cool water. It's difficult to be down in a place so beautiful.
Beca jumps as she feels a light touch on her shoulder. Chloe's perfume seems to permeate in and sweeten the crisp night air. Beca closes her eyes, slightly intoxicated by Chloe's scent. She sits still as Chloe puts a hoodie over her shoulders and quietly sits down next to her. The two best friends exchange a small smile before Beca lets her head rest on Chloe's shoulder. Chloe sighs softly as she moves in closer and wrap her arm around Beca's waist.
"When tomorrow comes
I'll be on my own
Feeling frightened of
The things that I don't know
When tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes
Tomorrow comes"
Very softly, Chloe starts to sing. Beca lifts up her head from the redhead's shoulder and looks her in the eye. The intricate melody is unfamiliar to her.
"And though the road is long
I look up to the sky
And in the dark I found lost hope that I won't fly
And I sing along, I sing along, and I sing along"
Chloe continues, slightly nodding at Beca. The echo of Chloe's voice softens as silence sets in once again. Beca looks at her friend with confusion, but Chloe gives her hand a gentle squeeze, her eyes never leaving Beca's. A spark goes off in Beca's mind, and she realizes what Chloe is trying to say. Chloe has felt incredibly lost whenever she thinks of her future - a future beyond the Bellas. Just the night before, she had broken down at the thought of their friendship diminishing. Right at this moment, Chloe is singing from the bottom of her heart, to her own tune. It's the first time in a long time her best friend tries to take control in expressing her vulnerability. Beca's lips start forming a big smile as a single tear falls from her eye. Ever slowly, the melody finds her:
"I got all I need when I got you and I
I look around me, and see sweet life
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night"
Chloe starts to smile the most beautiful smile Beca has ever seen. Amid the surreal backdrop of the shimmering night, the two girls begin to sing the only way they know how: in perfect harmony.
"Kickstart my heart when you shine it in my eyes
Can't lie, it's a sweet life
I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight
You're gettin' me, gettin' me through the night
Cause you're my flash light
You're my flash light, you're my flash light"
Silence surrounds them once more, this time like a warm embrace. When the echo of their voices stops, Beca suddenly knows what she has wanted to do for a long time. With her eyes fixed on Chloe's, Beca places her hands on either sides of Chloe's face and brings it closer to her own. Whatever tomorrow might bring seems of little consequence. Everything fades into a distant background as their lips meet for the first time.