Math today had been a time for epiphanies.

Life=Roads

Life as a werewolf=One road

Life as the only freaking werewolf girl=Dead end

Dead ends=Pain

Pain+Alcohol=Numb

Numb=Good

but

Alcohol=Bad

Pain=Bad

Bad=Negative

Negative*Negative=Positive

Positive=Good

So all in all: Werewolf girl+alcohol=Good

And that was what was on my mind as I threw back another shot. The liquid fire coursed down my throat until it came to rest in my stomach, though it'd probably make it's way back up before the night was done. Along with everything else I'd trashed myself with tonight. My head buzzed and I tore myself away from the bar and joined the dance floor. I was good for a few solid hours, and I could force some more down before making my way home. Or wherever else I ended up. But that didn't matter, nothing much did, but I was focused on now.

The place was packed tonight, and I found some eye candy to tease. I had never been one to care much what I looked like. With Sam, I was presentable, but I wasn't one to obsess. After Sam, I began not caring. Then someone out there decided to send my life to hell, and I became the werewolf girl. The only werewolf girl. Not caring turned to so damn inconvenient to do anything. And then I got here. I made myself pretty. Not beautiful. No, I was the stereotypical Queen Bitch. The one who said she was pretty and that was end of story. The one who wore the smallest miniskirts and the tightest shirts (none of it paid for, in my case). The one guys fell head over heels for before they got past her boobs. Yep, that's me.

I hated my life. I thought once I joined Jake that it might turn out alright. But then he imprinted on one of those filthy bloodsuckers and I was stuck. Hang with the vamps or beg Sam to take me back. Bloodsuckers won out.

I was so caught up in my thoughts I didn't notice the guy I was dancing with before he grabbed my shoulder. "You wanna find our own place?" he whispered in my ear.

Ya right. "In your dreams," I muttered and tried pushing past him. He wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Now honey, lets think about this." His fingers trailed down the side of my face. I could have taken him. It would have been easy, enjoyable even. But I didn't. I just, didn't care.

Suddenly his head whipped around, fingers loosening their grip.

"Don't mess with her," a voice behind me warned, shaking out his hand. I tried to put the pieces together. In a normal state it would have been a no brainer, but drunk, it took me a few moments to figure out that this guy had just punched my captor for me. That made me mad. It hurt my pride. I didn't need someone looking after me. I was fine by myself.

"What the hell were you doing?" I wouldn't even turn to look at the him.

"I believe I just took down some guy for you. I think a thank you would be more appropriate."

"I don't need your help. I don't need anyone's." With that I stormed away. Back to the bar, for me.

My head felt funny. So did my stomach. How many beers had I had? I tried counting on my fingers.

"One . . . two . . . three . . . four . . . uhh," I stopped. Couldn't remember. But now I needed to go . . . go home! That was it. I think. I lurched up from the stool. Ooh that didn't feel good. Tummy was doing flip flops. Tummy. I let out a giggle. I stumbled out of the bar. There weren't many cars on the street at this time, but whenever one passed, I would shield my eyes. The lights hurt. I needed to find the woods. That was how I originally fond this place. Came across it running one day. Weird how there was still forest here.

I looked around. They were hiding. "Woods, woods. Come out, come out wherever you are," I called. Silly forest. I spun around. And I saw a tree! The woods was behind the bar! Didn't you already no that? I pushed that dry voice away, and ran into the woods. Now, werewolf time. I tried. I really did. Nothing happened though. That scared me. Why couldn't I do it? What was wrong with me now? No, not more things. I was a mistake, a complete ruin. Why couldn't I even do this? My eyes began to tear up. I am not going to cry, I am not going to cry. A sob got out. Soon my whole body was shaking. The tears spilled over. I curled up into a ball on the ground. Why me?

"Why me?" I screamed. "Why? Why, why, why? I hate--" Who? Who did I hate? "Me," I finished with a gulp. The ground was cold, but soon my sobs halted, and I fell asleep.