A short, funny story about a WAY too nosy Ripcord...
inspired by my brother as we came up with this while feeding our horses, and this has a few snippits from the Rise of Cobra movie. If you haven't read my story, you won't understand the "shotgun" part. =D
Go Ask
"Yo! Scarlett!"
Rip came jogging up to the redhead who stood watching a group of trainees working on some katas. It was a hot, sunny day, with the sun glaring down onto the training field. Scarlett turned, having to raise her voice above the loud calls of a nearby drill sergeant.
"What?"
Rip grinned, coming to a halt beside her and puffing for breath.
"Well that's a nice way of sayin' hi..."
Scarlett turned back to the trainees, yelling at one.
"Straighten up over there! Now what is it, Rip? I'm busy,"
The pilot leaned against a light poll, crossing his arms.
"Ah, this won't take long, I jus' had a question..."
Scarlett sighed.
"Get to the point, Rip."
"Alright alright! It's about Snakes,"
"Now Rip—"
"No, no listen, I'm serious here,"
The redhead raised an eyebrow, looking over at him and dreading the upcoming question.
"Alright...what?"
Ripcord looked this way and that, and then behind him.
"Have to make sure that dude ain't here...okay...now, I was walkin' to go to the armory, an' passed him on the way, so, being friendly and all, I say 'hi' to him, and he wasn't wearin' his visor or anything. What I'm wanting to know is why he waits until you're only about four yards away to respond to the greetin', because he always waits until someone is that close to acknowledge them....so...why is that? An' it's always when his visor's off..."
Scarlett had listened with crossed arms and a dull stare, and now she sighed, rolling her eyes.
"Rip, listen, it isn't even any of your busin—"
"I know I know....I'm jus' curious, an' you know more about him than anyone...and why does he wear that mask? I mean, he's cool an' all, but he's so...weird."
Scarlett stomped her foot, turning on him.
"Rip! Do not ask me! He gave me a trust with all of his so-called 'secrets', and I am not going to give them away! If you have questions, go ask him for pity's sake!"
Ripcord was quiet for a moment, and then gave her a thumbs up.
"Not a bad idea!"
Before Scarlett could protest, he shot off, running across the field. She sighed heavily, slapping a hand against her forehead.
"Oh Ripcord...I didn't mean it!"
Across the field
"Hey, Snakes!"
Ripcord approached the cargo truck that Snake Eyes stood at, trying to act as casual as he could...which wasn't very much. The ninja master hefted a metal box into the back of the truck, setting it down with a loud clang. He turned, and this time his visor was on. Raising a hand in acknowledgment, he shoved the box back further, picking up another to put in the truck. Ripcord leaned against the truck, watching the black-clad man.
"How're ya doin'?"
One nod. The pilot raised an eyebrow, and then too casually rushed to pick up a box, hauling it towards the truck.
"Need any help?"
Snake Eyes stepped back as the pilot hurriedly laid the box in the truck, grinning...nervously. The ninja master sighed, raising an eyebrow under the mask.
Alright Rip--
he stopped, remembering that the man couldn't read ASL. With a deep, almost annoyed but still patient breath, he pulled out his ever present pen and small notepad, writing on the tail-gate of the truck. After a moment, he handed it to Ripcord, who read the perfect cursive in amusement.
"Now...what is bothering you? You are acting weird."
Ripcord stuttered a little.
"Uh...well, you know, nothin' much...I...well..."
Snakes took the pad back, writing again.
"Get to the point...I have things to do."
Rip swallowed, raising both eyebrows.
"Well, alright...now, you know, don't be offended or anythin', I'm just curious, I...er...haha..."
Snake Eyes looked at him in a confused way, and then down to the K-bar knife that he had pulled out to clean while listening. Huffing in annoyance, he took up pad and pen once more.
"I'm only cleaning it...don't worry, I do not like blood-stains on it...you're safe."
There was almost a sarcastic way in which he wrote it, and Rip could've sworn that there was a smirk under the mask.
"Yeeah....sure. Okay, well, you know, I'm just askin' an' all...um...now don't think I'm crazy or something, and I'm not tryin' to pry..but...er...why do you wear that mask and...all...."
His voice trailed off at the penetrating stare that came straight through the visor and the twitching of the fingers on the knife. Rip tried to smile, and started backing up.
"Heyuh...I was just asking...no need to get all upset and everything...you know, uh...how does that go? Er, curiosity..."
He swallowed hard looking back at the knife.
"...killed the cat...."
There was a long silence, and then Snakes' hand moved quickly to grab up the notepad, causing Ripcord to yelp. The ninja master gave him a look that seemed to say 'boy you're edgy' as he began to write.
"Go ask General Hawk."
Ripcord raised an eyebrow, and then smiled disarmingly.
"Uh, sure, yeah, okay...good talkin' with ya!"
And he was off.
General Hawk's Office
"Um, yeah, sorry to disturb you, General."
Hawk sat at his desk, tapping the back-side of a pen on a folder.
"...did you have something you wanted to ask me, Ripcord?"
The pilot grinned, rubbing the back of his neck.
"Well, actually, yeah. You see, I had asked Scarlett, and she told me to ask Snakes, and Snakes told me to ask you, so..."
"Rip, spare me the detail and please get to the point..."
"Oh, uh yeah, sorry sir. Um...well..."
He peeked out the doorway and down the hall, and then leaned forward on Hawk's desk, his voice a whisper.
"This is gonna seem like a crazy question, but I was just curious...why does Snakes' wear a mask?"
The General was silent, and then he suddenly stood up, shaking his head.
"I'm sorry I cannot answer that...that's classified information...go ask Breaker."
"Breaker?"
"Rip...I'm busy..."
Ripcord threw a hasty salute, and then scurried out, running down the hall.
Computer Central=Breaker's station
"What's up techy?"
Breaker spun around in his chair at the voice, looking up at him.
"Oh, hello. At the moment, the satellite is up...but I do not know for how long, we have been having trouble."
Rip pursed his lips.
"Ooh...very interesting, I'm sure. Hey, I have a question, if you got a minute,"
Breaker spun back around in the chair, typing in a few commands and then popping a piece of gum into his mouth.
"Yeah, if it is quick...I have things to do with this baby..."
The pilot sat on one of the desks, shoving a thumb towards the door.
"I just came from Hawk's office, an' he sent me to you. I'll get right to the point...why does Snake Eyes wear a mask?"
The bubble that Breaker had blown suddenly popped. He stopped typing...and chewing.
There was a long quiet, and then he turned in the chair to face him.
"Uum...go ask Jinx..."
Ripcord sighed, and then waved a hand as he took off...again.
Sparring mat in the Gym
"Jinx! Got a minute?"
The small Asian woman turned, barely missing a kick from her sparring partner.
"Uh...hold up!"
After a moment, she came walking up, slinging a towel over her shoulder.
"Yeah?"
Ripcord took in a breath.
"I won't go through the whole story or nothin'...but...you know a lot about Snakes, right?"
Jinx eyed him suspiciously.
"Yeah...why?"
"Well, you see, I had this question, and I've asked several people, and the last one was Breaker, and he sent me to you...so...why does Snakes' wear a mask?"
The small woman stared for a minute, and then backed away towards the mat.
"Things to do, Rip...go ask my cousin."
Ripcord groaned.
"Oh who's your cousin!?"
Jinx called back as she went to the mat.
"Go ask Kamakura!"
And he was off again, this time across the gym.
At the other side of the room
"Yo Kamakura!"
Snake Eyes' other apprentice turned from a punching bag, looking over at him.
"Hey! What's up?"
Ripcord came up casually, steadying the bag.
"Oh, nothin' much...just had a question."
Kamakura pulled his shirt over his head, running a hand through his damp hair.
"Sure. Shoot."
"...who's Jinx's cousin?"
Kamakura stared at him.
"Uuuhh...go ask Thomas."
"Who's Thomas?"
"Er...go ask Cobra Commander..."
"COBRA COMMANDER!?"
"That's what I said...sarcastic—Rip! Where are you goin'?!"
Ripcord shot out of the room, calling back.
"To ask Cobra Commander!!!"
Thousands of miles away
Ripcord went bursting into the throne room of Cobra Commander, marching right past the guards.
"Hey! Darth Vader! I've got a question,"
Cobra Commander stared at him in shock.
"Um...come again?"
"You heard me...now....who's Thomas?"
The Commander looked wide-eyed down the hall.
"Uh...go ask Storm Shadow..."
"Storm Shadow? Really?"
"GET!"
And thus did he go running once more.
Storm Shadow's quarters
"Yo! Ninja dude!"
Storm Shadow jumped in a startled reaction at the loud crash of his door being thrown open and the voice behind him.
"Wha-what are you doing here? Who are you? GET OUT!"
"Wooaah now ninja guy, slow down, I've gotta question that YOU have to answer..."
Storm Shadow stared down the finger that was touching his nose.
"Are you insane?"
Rip grinned.
"Possibly. Now, who's Thomas? I wanna know..."
Storm Shadow stared.
"Um...that's me..."
"You? Really?"
"Yes, in fact. Now why do you want to know?"
"Alright...why does Snake Eyes wear a mask?"
........
"You've got to be kidding..."
"NO! I'm not. Now why??"
"...Go ask my uncle."
Ripcord groaned.
"Now we're getting into relatives?! Alright...where does he live?"
"...six feet under."
Ripcord looked at his watch.
"Okay, what city is that and how long will it take to get there?"
Storm Shadow gaped a moment.
"Yeah...okay...the Arashikage in Japan..."
"THANKS PAL!"
and there he went...
The Arashikage: Japan
"Ooooh Uncle! Where aaarrre yooouuu????"
Ripcord wandered through the abandoned dojo, listening to his own voice come back at him.
"Hey! Uncle dude! Your nephew sent me! Where are ya?"
Silence...
Ripcord almost jumped out of his skin at the answer that came...from under his feet.
"Down here! Get off of me! You're heavy!"
"What!?!? Ohmygoodness...."
He was talking to the ground.
"Heyuh...you're down there?"
"Yes, now get me out of here..."
Rip grabbed a shovel.
"Okies..."
Five minutes later, he was talking to a skeleton.
"Now, your nephew sent me...why does Snake Eyes wear a mask?"
Blank eye sockets looked at him.
"...go ask my nephew's shotgun...and bury me again...it's cold out here."
Ripcord sighed, picking up the shovel again.
"Whatever..."
Back at the Cobra Base in Storm Shadow's room
"Alright Stormy! Where's your shotgun?"
Storm Shadow stepped aside as Ripcord rushed passed him.
"My shotgun? What do you want that for?"
"Your uncle said to ask it..."
"My uncle WHAT!? Said!? Are you kidding!?"
"Stop asking questions and give me your shotgun!"
"...alright..."
He went to his closet and pulled the gun out, trying to grab it back when Rip yanked it away from him.
"Hey! Be careful! It might be loaded."
Ripcord didn't listen. He took the gun, and like an idiot, pointed the barrel at his face.
"Alright, Shotty...why does Snake Eyes wear a mask?"
Storm Shadow nearly died when the barrel actually TALKED to the pilot.
"Oi, yore aboit to foind oot!"
"...huh?"
BOOOOOM!!!
The gun went off in an explosion of light, sending Storm Shadow into hysterics and Ripcord onto his knees while covering his face and screaming. Moments later, the Doctor marched in, holding a lethal looking needle thingy in his hand.
"Now that we have a moment to ourselves...I have something I've prepared for you..."
He took Ripcord by the throat, shoving the needle into it.
"This'll only hurt a little...what comes next, more so."
The content was injected before Storm Shadow could jump up and stop him.
"Woah Doc! Wrong movie! He isn't Destro!"
...too late. The metal fibers formed around Rip's face and cooled into a smooth surface. After the pilot has stopped screaming, he looked up, touching his face.
"What have you done to meee???"
The Doctor smiled.
"I've given your life purpose...now, go back home before I turn you into a servant and me the Commander..."
Ripcord jumped up.
"DON'TWORRYI'MOUTTAHERE!"
Back at the G.I. Joe base in the training field
"Hey Snakes!"
Snake Eyes turned around at the familiar voice, but almost had a heart attack to see a Ripcord come marching up wearing a metal mask.
"Hey! Wow...what a ride..."
He clapped a completely shocked, slightly horrified, and utterly confused Snake Eyes on the shoulder, leaning against him casually.
"Well...now I know...and knowing is half the battle."
He gave him a huge smile, patted him on the back, and then marched away, leaving Snake Eyes to stare after him. The ninja master shook his head, picking up another box, and then almost dropping it as a scream cut across the field.
"RIPCORD!!! WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
the end