The first thing that I could identify was that everything was so dark and fuzzy; I squinted a little until the eventual darkness fell to a more acceptable level. I looked around for a bit and saw that I was still in my living room. I tried to move myself to a more comfortable level only to find that I can't or rather. Couldn't.

Jeez. I felt like a poor jelly doughnut being squished by a group of over-excited children on their first field trip to the zoo.

I tried recalling what had happened to earlier and failed miserably. The only thing that I could recall was that I'd been donning my Fullmetal Alchemist Asmestrian Soldier cosplay in my humble abode and I'd had my hands on my doorknob until my flat-screen Television started glowing green and a bright white light engulfed the whole room and the next thing that I knew was falling, face-first towards the wooden floor. I swear I saw things appearing in my living room before falling into sleep.

"Alright Joe...what you saw was probably the result of too much time on the Internet. You slipped on something slippery and probably hit your head...and why does my chest feel ticklish?"

I glanced at my uniformed chest...saw what could be described a nerd's wet dream...and worst nightmare.

Lo and behold. I saw figurines milling about on my chest and these figurines were models of one of my most favorite tabletop games of all TIME. In my living room. Models from the tabletop game known as Warhammer 40,000 were busy turning my chest into a mini fortress I saw armored figures which I guessed to be Space Marines of the Ultramarines Chapter inspecting the fake yet realistic looking medals on my chest. I saw a few robed individuals which I think could be the Adeptus Mechanicus poking the fabric of my costume and I also saw green/khaki figures which I guessed to be the Imperial Guard. Those little fellers were setting up cute yet somewhat effective on my chest...There were a couple of sandbags there damn it!, I stared at them blankly as the figurines that were moving about on my chest seemed to notice me staring at them. We did this staring contest for a few seconds until the Smurfs-sorry The Ultramarines raise their...Was that a Bolter? A yes. A bolter. They raised cute looking bolters and attempted to plaster holes on my face. And as usual. I raised my arms, swatted them aside like tennis balls and shouted obscenities...right?

Nah. I opened my mouth and screamed like a little girl who had just recently had her Barbie dolls stolen.

And with a quick jolt, augmented by adrenaline. I sprang up like a terrified kitten and carelessly threw about the walking and screaming figurines like French fries being held a by a little cute toddler.

I looked around frantically for something which could be used as a weapon and out of desperation grabbed a flashlight lying on one of the cheap cabinets that I bought and held it tightly. I refocused my eyesight and saw a whole army of Imperial Guard setting up formation so that they could fry me like a fish. I looked towards the hallway that led towards my kitchen and I saw a row of Basilisks. The Imperium of Man's version of the Flak 88 on steroids. They were being crewed by a group of buff looking dudes that looked and could tear my head off If I was their size. One of the Basilisks fired it's payload at me and lightly grazed my head and in turn, flew out of my window. I swear I could hear a pot breaking outside.

I glanced at my flashlight then to the row of Basilisks, if these buggers want a fight. Then a fight they will get! I pointed my flashlight at them and turned it on. The effects were immediate. The little men that tried to murder me gave out screams of pain and fell off their artillery pieces; I redirected my flashlight towards the rows of infantry men and like the crew. They'd quickly dropped down, hands over their eyes and groans of pain out of their mouths. I turned towards the Ultramarines and I could clearly see that they wanted to shoot me to Oblivion but one of the few helmet less Ultramarines bade them to stop to which the Ultramarines reluctantly did.

I turned the flashlight off and began to speak up whilst giving them the most terrifying look which I could muster "Okay...I'd imagine that you'd have commanders. AND I'd imagine that they'd would not want their soldiers blinded. SO. I want your commanders to come forward and explain themselves to me...or else..." Now. This is where I'd like to reveal a bit of myself. You see. I do not really like threatening other people with death since I am a gentle guy and doing so is rather distasteful. And even if I'd do so. My threats would be empty. My body stature is just that of a normal guy. I have no special marks, muscles or abs. though my only asset is my height.

To people in the real world. I'd be compared to Elmo making threats. But to these people. I'd be the most scary thing they'd seen for a long time. I mean. I was a literal titan to them,

And so they quickly scrambled to find their commanders and I contented myself into laying on a couch. A few minutes later. Their leaders arrived.

A whole lot of them arrived rather quickly. The Imperial Guard was the first to arrive. With the use of the Leman Russ as a temporary troop transport much to its crew's dismay and displeasure. The second were the Ultramarines. With their big blue armor and humongous looking pauldrons. They'd stick out of a crowd. Then came the...Inquisition?

Damn the Inquisition. They'd come out when you'd least expect it. But you'd know about their weapons. Fear, Surprise, Bright Red Uniforms and their almost fanatical devotion the the Pope! Oh! wrong Inquisition...but you do get the idea.

And so they stood a few feet from me. Some were anxious, some were nervous but most of them either displayed fear or hatred. Damn. If their glares were a weapon then I'd be well

"So..." I began "Before the pleasantries start. Would you kindly introduce yourselves?" They looked at each other for a few seconds before the dude wearing the golden chest plate spoke up

"Very well Titan...I am General Sebastian the 305th Cadian Regiment." He gestured towards the people behind him "These are my aides. Commissar Marcus Brenden, Krieger Commander #424, Father Alex and Sanctioned Psykers Heinrich Liedland and Luigi Cornel"

I raised my eyebrow at this, they have psykers named Luigi? I turned towards the Ultramarines and the helmet less Ultramarine spoke up first

"I am Force Commander Titus, Marine Chapter Ultra. My Battle-Brothers accompanying me are Chaplain Cornelius, Librarian Marcus and Assault Sergeant Alvus" I nodded, if I'd noticed. These guys have Latin names. I'm a bit disapponted you know. I expected one them might be named `Biggus Dickus` But hey. That's just a fantasy. I then turned to the...Inquisition...damn this guy's glare is strong.

"I am Inquisitor Kal Drogan, Ordo Malleus. I have Canoness Natasha Ramanova, Sisters of Battle and..." He looked hesitant at first but then the Gray figure that had been with them spoke up "I am Justicar Azmodan of the Grey Knights" Okay...He was named Azmodan? I guess the irony of this is large. He kills Daemons for a living and his name if similar to that of a Demon in another video game...The Inquisitor looked like he was going to do something REALLY evil but managed to finish his sentence with "Yes...and lastly we have Arbite Yehuda"

Okay. I took time to examine each one of them. The Imperial Guard's leader may be reasoned with...which is kinda okay. The Papa Smurf there sounds like a dude that could be cool. Which is also okay but that Inquisitor guy looks like he wants to do an Exterminatus on my ass...Oh well.

"Okay. Now that we have been introduced. I'd also introduce myself. I am Jonathan Snow. You may call my Joe, John and Johnny. Either of which. I'm fine. As you may know. I am the owner of this house. And you lot are guests. If you don't want me to kick you out of here which I can. Then you lot have to follow a bit of some ground rules kay?" They nod. "Good. First rule is. ABSOLUTELY no fighting. If I can see a little bit of damage on my house. Then you can kiss your ass goodbye. Second rule is. No thieving of my stuff. The reason for this is obvious. That rule goes especially to you Techpriests" Robotic groans could be heard" That is all...If any of these rules are violated...then you know what's in store for you...capisce?"

They all nod. My rules were simple enough. And even the most dimwitted of them could follow it. Then realization struck me...if the Imperium of Man was here...then were was the Eldar? The Tau?

My ears perk up when collective barking is heard from my bedroom.

My eyes dart towards the Imperials. They also have the same look as me.

"Oh Sh*T"

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