I groaned and flopped back onto the couch. Another day of hatred and awfulness had passed, and somehow I had survived. I had woken up, taken a shower, gone to school, sucked at life, gotten made fun of for how I looked, gotten made fun of for my writing, gotten home, studied algebra for three hours (and not understood any of it), eaten dinner, taken another shower, written three chapters of my latest supernatural fan-fic, and now I was here. I sighed and closed my eyes. I was sick of this, this unending pattern. Every day was the same, and each day sucked. I might be able to get by if I had a friend, or a family that was around; instead, my sister was at college and my Dad worked late each night, barely getting by. My mom was in Wisconsin somewhere, fucking up her life and her alcoholic husband.

I considered what to do. My father was a proud christian, and every Sunday he dragged me along to church. I never complained because it was the only time we talked about anything.

Should I pray?

I took a deep breath and thought about it. It seemed ludicrous; I didn't directly believe in a god, but I supposed one could exist.

Why not?

Look, I thought, Look. I can understand if this is all you want me to achieve right now. I get it, I think. I just- I don't know what you want me to do. I don't care if I'm a meat suit for your lowest worker or something. Just, give me a sign, a job. Something to hope for. I can't handle slumping through each day like this. I can't handle not having anyone. Uh, thanks, I guess.

I sighed and sat up. My eyes started to grow heavy. I leaned against the back of the couch, listening to the news babble on about a car crash. Soon I was asleep.

"What the hell?!"

"What's wro- Holy shit!"

I sat up and immediately brought my head to my knees. I had a migraine the size of Fucking China.

Calm down. Breathe. I'll leave you be in a moment. Give me control. I... thought? It was like a different voice in my head, a male? No, it was like three or four voices at once.

"Help!" I yelled, grabbing my forehead. For a moment, I lapsed out of control. I wasn't breathing; Something else was doing it for me. I wasn't the one holding my forehead; something else was. I was aware my hands were there, but... it was like I couldn't feel it.

"Dean! Restrain her!" The words left my mouth, but they weren't my own. I hadn't thought them; they had flown out, like a reflex. I felt someone's hand on my arm. I looked up. I knew this face... I had seen it somewhere.

"Cas? Cas, is that you? Cas!" The guy in front of me shook me back and forth. His words went through one ear and through another. The pain made his words nonsense, unrecognizable. It was like he was speaking a different language.

"Make it stop! please, call a doctor!" I yelled ,curling into a ball.

Please, just a moment. Calm down. I don't want to force you. It will be uncomfortable for the both of us.

"Kid? Kid! What's wrong? Speak to me!" Green eyes connected to mine. What had he said?

"It hurts...it hurts!" I yelped, tucking my head back into my knees. God, what was happening?

I lapsed out again. This moment was longer. "Dean, she can't calm down! I've startled her!" My voice left my throat shakily. I was breathing heavily, as though I had just sprinted a mile. This wasn't right. This wasn't right. This wasn't right.

I felt another hand on my left. Another voice wormed it's way into my numbed mind. This one was softer, calmer. "hey, hey. Calm down. Calm. Down. Take a deep breath."

What had it said? Breath? Take a breath? I sucked in and out, trying to calm down. I continued to shake, but the pain seemed to subside slightly. I continued to breathe.

I suddenly lapsed out. I couldn't move, couldn't gain control.

"Kid?"

"Hey, you okay? Say something." the smoother voice asked, his hand suddenly leaving my left arm.

"Thank you, Sam. She refused to become calm enough to let me take over." My voice left me again. I was trying to scream, trying to break through. Needless to say, I couldn't.

"Cas? Cas, what the hell is going on? Where's Jimmy?"

"Jimmy... is dead. I left briefly, only to find he was killed by demons. This will have to suffice as my new vessel." I stood up, obviously not of my own accord. The pain continued, but it seemed distant, like I was on pain killers. I walked into what appeared to be a kitchen. Bright white tiles stung my eyes, and the lights burned along with my head ache. Why was everything so harsh? What was happening?

"So, what, you just yanked this kid from her home?"

"As with Jimmy, she asked for this." I broke through, somehow. I slid to the slick floor and held my head again.

"Cas? Cas!"

A quick moment of nothing again. I once again tried to scream, to claw back into control. My voice flew from my mouth. "Dean, I can't-Can't hold it! She doesn't understand! She's too scared! You have to tell her what's going on- otherwise I can't stay!"

My headache disappeared.

"Cas? Cas, come back! Cas, Goddamnit!"

My hands hesitantly left my forehead, and someone grabbed my wrists. I looked up into those bright green eyes.

"Bring him back!" The guy growled out, tightening his grip on my arms.

Dean Winchester, I realized, growled out.

Fuck.