Mafa: Since I'm in a bad mood recently, I decided to unleash my dark dramatic idea. Also, this one-shot is autobiographical. Maybe... Well, it expresses thoughts and feelings. Stuff like that... Boring. But read it. It's not bad. Oh and review.
Enjoy, guys.
Illusions
"Why do I love you? Did you do anything good to me? Do you love me? Do you care for me? No. Then why? Why do I think about you all the time? Why can't I forget you? It's so stupid. And useless. You don't even notice me. Well maybe you do, but only when I attack you or your friends. Or your stupid 'boyfriend'. That's what you called him once, laughing so strange and blushing. I wish you would act like this around me. But you don't. You only scream or just ignore me. And, although I hate it, when someone screams at me or condemns my acts, I would rather have you scream at me. It still makes me angry though. But it's better than you ignoring me. I don't get angry. I only break from inside. My heart aches. It splits into thousand pieces. It dies a slow death. Not like you care though...
Anyways, it's stupid. I don't really want to think about it. I hate it. But there is nothing else I can say. If I were your boyfriend, I would talk about everything. I would say compliments, make you laugh, protect you. You, you, you. The only thing I can think about is you. I never really thought this would happen to me. I was sad as a child, cold as a warrior, happy and full of hope when I came to Earth. Now I'm sad again. Pai calls me desperate, but I don't listen to him. I never do.
He ordered me to kill you. I can't, but have to. So I try to start hating you. I think of reasons to do that.
You are a human. That's the first and most effective argument. There is nothing to explain. This one word contains all the reasons. You are a 'human.'
But still... Still, I just can't hate you. It's impossible for me. It's out of the question. I think it would better if I could tear myself apart. One half would try to kill you, the other would protect you... Maybe I should really ask Pai to...clone me. Yeah! Um, well, no. Bad idea.
Oh, I almost forgot. You already have a protector. That...guy. That knight, who tried to kill me. Whom I tried to kill so many times. That lucky bastard. Oh, how much I hate him! ... There I go again. Why am I so jealous? Because he is better than me? No, not better. Simply different. Wow, I think I now understand what you think. And feel. But still... Arg, this is so confusing. I think about it all night, but still have to clue. My brain is not big enough.
Tokyo by night is mysterious. On one side we can see life. Cars driving. People walking. Noises. Bright billboards. Light, light and more light.
On the other side there is no light. No life. Everything is dark and...dead.
He was in the last part. Sitting on the roof of a skyscraper. Thinking.
The moon was hidden by clouds, so his was almost invisible. Not like anyone cared. He was just an alien. An extraordinary being, but...maybe he was human? As he told before, in 'their' eyes humans are aliens. Confusing...
Suddenly he stood up. The wind blew lightly, and his hair and clothes flew. They wanted to be free from this stupid life. He wanted to be free from his duty. Free from pain. From love...
He teleported. Gone with the wind.
"I am confused. I don't think about you so often. Why? I get angry at you. You get on my nerves. I think the things you say and do are stupid. You don't make me laugh with sympathy. Only with sarcasm, or irony, or contempt . I don't think you are cute anymore. You are a hysterical girly-girl, not sincere, egocentric, pink obsessed and Masaya obsessed, and simply stupid. What do I see in you? I don't want to love you. I don't want to feel pain. I don't want to care for you. I don't want to feel. I don't want to think. I don't want to care...I don't understand anything.
He appeared above a house.
This was a better area. Calmer, friendlier. Warmer. Even cozy. A long line of houses stretched along the street. He liked it there. No noises, no cars. Even the air was fresher.
There were no clouds, so the moon was bright and illuminated him. A spooky light-blue glow shone down on him. He looked paler than usual, his hair was almost black, his eyes shone like phosphorus . Strange, huh? Don't forget that it was dark.
He looked down on the small white building. The lights were of. Everybody was asleep. He looked away. A happy family. How boring. His family was not happy. His father was a bastard, he believed. Even if his mother never told him such things. She had loved them both. She had died. And Deep Blue told him everything. Kisshu hated his father. But mostly their leader.
Now he met a common family again. It was 'her' family, and that made him more angry. She was happy, she didn't know what it was like to be an orphan. To be alone.
The moon was bright and shiny pale.
He teleported away.
Again.
Carried away by a moonlight shadow.
"I'm not confused anymore. I know what I want: to save my people. I want the little kids to have a hero. I want to be a savior.
When I think about my love for you now, I realize that it was stupid from the start. Yes, I kissed you. It was spontaneous. I didn't know what I was thinking. I was dumb too. But now I realize it.
Did you do something good to me? Do you care for me? Do you love me? No. You never did. You don't. You never will.
Why did I think about it then? Was did I make myself sweet illusions? And sick desires? Big dreams that never will be true?
A sudden thought hits my mind. It shocks me. I was trapped in my dreams. I made myself false hopes. Illusions.
Blood. Much blood. Too much for a dark corner in the middle of Tokyo. The mew mews were laying on the ground, unconscious or dead. They had known it was a trap, but they never thought it would turn out like this.
Ichigo was the only awake one. She gathered her remaining strength and looked up.
He was hovering in the air. A dangerous shadow. A killer.
"Why?"- sobbed Ichigo. He didn't answer.
She laid her head on the ground, feeling weak.
"I thought you love me..."
Kisshu smiled. He was finally free.
"I didn't. It was an illusion."
The End