Hey Guys! Did you miss me dodges trash thrown yeaaahhh you missed me its been a long long time I know and its inexcusable I know just give me a chance to make it up to you all.

So I am here to bring you a new story that has been bouncing around in my mind for some time. I got the idea when I read the amazing story called Toyhammer which was about what if the armies of Warhammer 40k dropped in the living room of some poor guy but they were in miniature form. I will not spoil anything with descriptions or such but other armies will appear some good some bad and some terrifying.

To fans of my other series that I have left abandoned I will try to come back to them in time I just want to try and make this idea work.

Note= I will be focusing more on armies that I do know about so sadly no Tau will be in this I never was able to wrap my head around the army or had an interest in their backstory all I know is they have some cool mech suits and suck at close combat.


Warhammer 40K

"Speech"

"Thought"

"Demon Speech/Telepathy"

Chapter 1- The Invasion by the Coffee Table

Do your damnedest in an ostentatious manner all the time. -General Paton

They say that the universe works in mysterious ways and it is in the minds of many a truth in the grim dark future a battle was waging multiple armies clashing as they fought for control over an item that would utterly change the events that would be their lives.

"BRING US CLOSER!" a man clad in a black cloak shouted as he waved a sword as he rode atop his tank the cannon firing into hordes of green skinned foes before them.

"WAAAGGGHHH Smash them pinkies!" a monstrous green skinned beast roared as he directed his army with a wave of his large mechanical claw.

"Come brothers let us show them the Emperors Might!" a man clad in blue and white armor shouted wielding a large sword in hand as he and his brothers charged forward.

As these armies clashed there was a blast of energy that struck them all the world warping as everything went dark.


You ever have one of those days? You know the one where everything just sort of went to shit just because you woke up that morning. That was my day so far, oh right I forgot to introduce myself the name is Jason Smyth not Smith think Smite but said with a lisp. It all started pretty good actually a few days ago my parents announced they were finally doing their round the world retirement trip they had wanted to do it for years and had finally gotten it all planned out. I myself was staying with them during this time due to attending college and I was currently enjoying the summer break when they told me. An entire house with a pool all to myself yeah it sounded awesome. That Tuesday though was not going well though from waiting for a late bus, bad food for lunch, it all was leading up to a deep gratitude that the day was over.

I walked up the paved walkway to the house and could hear the tv, I could swear I turned it off as I opened the door at first I didn't notice it really I mean it sounded like the tv had simply been left on but I paused when I saw it. There was an army in my living room setting up tanks being parked as Guardsmen moved around in formations to begin search patterns, Space-Marines were arming themselves for the possible confrontations possibly about to happen, Sisters of Battle, and wait was that an Inquisitor? I could recognize the hat and cloak much like the one from Dawn of War Retribution. What the hell why was their an army of inch tall Imperials in my living room?


Lady Inquisitor Natalia would not say she enjoyed her job not with what that strange warp device had sent them it was like they were in a giant's home. She felt someone tugging on her sleeve and a faint grimace tilted her lips down as she turned to see one of her personal squad of the Vindicare Temple pointing with his sniper rifle. What she saw stunned her; the beast dwarfed even titans in its height. The Giant had a look of astonishment on his face so genuine she knew that he was not the one who brought them here. She watched as the giants face turned into a look of determination as he dropped what looked like a large black bag on the ground and spoke.

"HEY!" His voice was booming echoing over the murmur or troops who stopped and stared at this giant who made his presence known.

Natalia didn't know why but she raised her hand shouting out "DO NOT FIRE!" this Titan may be defeatable with enough ordinance but with only a fraction of their total forces in this world it would not be advisable.


I heard the Inquisitors order as I walked forward a few steps making sure no one was under foot. I could feel almost a thousand eyes and guns aimed my way as I squatted down in front of the Rhino Tank that she was standing on top of directing the forces. "Hello there why are you all in my living room?" she pauses staring at me with a cold calm stare that could freeze icebergs as she straightened her cloak.

"I am Lady Inquisitor Natalia of the Ordo Hereticus I am leading this Coalition of Forces." She had a strong confident voice made me think of a British commander Shepard with her accent. "Who are you Giant and where are we located?"

"My name is Jason Smyth you are on the planet earth in the year 2015." I stated which got some murmurs and for the Inquisitor to look downright baffled "As for the where you are in my living room to be exact." I stated to be a little humorous but they didn't seem to be in the mood I could hear a guardsman talking to a comrade.

"Before the age of the Emperor, before the Imperium."

Even the space-marines and sisters of battle were murmuring to one another. "Look," I said bringing their attention back to me "you guys sort of appeared in my living room so I am going to guess you got sent here somehow."

Natalia nodded her head and sighed before speaking I could see she had green eyes "Yes we were searching for a powerful warp artifact that was somehow activated we lost a majority of our forces in the blast."

"That means that you have someone on the back where you came from looking for a way to rescue you right?" I asked as I sat down fully Indian style to be more comfortable, it seemed that keeping them talking was calming them down and putting them at ease.

Natalia seemed to hesitate she was thinking hard before she spoke "No they will not knowing my fellow Inquisitors they will say we died and write us off as they either attempt to study the device or destroy it." She stated it calmly but she the way her shoulders showed she was almost depressed by the news.

The others seemed to understand the mood some seemed to accept it while others looked like they were assigned to death. I need to fix this or at least help.

"Well, how about you try to find a way back I mean you can stay here and try to see if you can replicate the explosion that sent you here." This caused Natalia and some others to look up at me with varying ranged of astonishment. "Look you guys got sent here and I want to try to help plus with your size you may not last to well on your own, no offense."

They seemed to be deep in thought contemplating my words.

It took a few hours to set things up the house had three bedrooms but One was mine, one was my parents (which was locked while they were out of town) With almost a thousand soldiers I decided the spare bedroom was too small to hold them so I suggested setting up multiple bases around the house allowing them plenty of room to set up. What they did was set up two separate bases one located in the living room and one located in the guest bedroom the Imperial Guard which was the largest force of about 600 would stay out there and establish a motor pool while the space marines estimating about two hundred set up with them as well leaving the Inquisitors personal force which was Sisters of Battle and a few other groups mixed in living in the guest room. So far I hadn't gotten to speak with them to much mainly I was moving furniture around to allow them to move and set up I also broke out my old box of lego's from the garage for them to use as building materials.

"So who is hungry?" I asked at the horde of troops who were setting up working away I was gathering materials for them like spare bits of wood we had in the garage when me and my stepdad repaired the fence after a hurricane. They all seemed to nod and agree with me as I went to grab a couple take out menu's. "Let's see I got Chinese, pizza, and a burger joint."

"I am sorry but you're going to have to explain that to us Son." A voice said causing me to turn to the table where an older man stood on the table hands on his hips from the look of him he was an Imperial General "Jason right? I am Alexi Strom of the Imperial Steel Legion."

"Pleasure to meet you sir." I said my mother's teachings making me address him respectfully as I went on to explain what pizza was even showing him a picture which he said was one of the oddest looking foods he had ever seen. After a talk with Strom it was agreed that we would order a Large Pizza, a box of 24 chicken wings, and a salad for those who wanted some greens.

Dinner was interesting I sat in the living room with them as they worked groups of chainsword wielding soldiers were carving up the pizza and wings into large portions it seemed everyone was happy to eat and my sweet ice tea was going over very well with everyone. While they were serving themselves I turned on the tv and flipped it over to some obscure show I mainly turned it on for something to watch. This had one odd effect a group wearing red robes turned and cried out in awe at the large LCD screen. I turned to Strom and raised my eye brow and he answered "Tech Priests I best tell them not to mess with anything without your permission." I agreed with him as I picked him up and set him down as he went off to talk to them.

I noticed Natalia watching me from her spot on the coffee table "Whats up Ma'am?" I asked as I took a bite of one of the wings making sure to wipe my face to avoid looking like a pig.

"Why are you helping us?" she asked suddenly her eyes cold, now that came out of nowhere.

"I guess because you needed help. I mean you guys are stuck here the least I can do is help you guys till you find a way home." I responded to her as leaned back in my chair. The look in her eyes remained co but I could swear for an instant I could see gratitude in them before she turned back to her food.

Guess I passed the test.


So as you can tell this is my come back fanfiction, I will admit I am RUSTY as hell and this took me a while to write up but I wanted to try it to see if I can really make a fanfiction come back. This was shorter then I had planned but I promise I will make the next chapter longer, if anyone wants to possible beta aka kick my ass to write more then please message me.

So leave a review.

In the words of Tom "Stay Golden my Friends."

Dark Graven Signing Off.