Some days were easier and she could allow herself to unwind at Granny's with her family and a grilled cheese. On these days she could smile. But most days were a battle, the conflicting powers inside her convulsing until her knees gave out and she could feel what remained of Emma Swan slipping further away; darkness blackening her heart. Her eyes were almost always brimming with exhaustion, the red more commonplace than any makeup she bothered applying. They tried to ride it off as sleep deprivation, but Killian knew that the night terrors were only a small fraction of the cause. She woke, mumbling I can't lose you, I'm going to hurt you into his neck, nails clawing deep in the flesh of his back as she fought the demons that overtook her.
He held her tight against his chest, repeating his own frantic promises. I'm right here, Love. It's okay. You're okay. Stay with me, Emma.
And some nights she did. Her grip easing and focusing instead on the soothing pattern of his hand pressing into the small of her back, his silent plea to take away her pain as he kisses her. Other nights an all too familiar giggle would escape that reminded him of the Crocodile, trading her spot curled next to him for the malicious words spewed in his direction that he knew she didn't mean. When his touch caused her to jump back and her eyes saturated with darkness, illuminated by the fireball she would often cast, threatening him to back away and leave.
(By morning she'd be back in his arms, apologies on her lips and tears in her eyes.)
After they found Merlin and removed the darkness from Emma, the nightmares still came. But Killian was always there, the warmth of his body snug against her own, lips pressing kisses to her neck, temple, and head, coaxing her back to sleep.