Worst than the Worst
by: jaymack33
Summary: Season 3 canon- After all the emotional pain Kara went through from losing Mon-el, Kara didn't think anything could be worst and than Mon-el came back healthy, beautiful, alive and in love with someone else. It's bad enough I have to work with the man I still love while knowing he's married and unavailable, but still there is one thing even worst than that...
Authors note- So, I've been working on my own, version of season 3, so I've never tried to write any season 3 canon before, and of course I don't really want to use up any ideas I may have for a side story, but since there is absolutely never going to happen no chance in hell that I would even think of making Mon-el married to someone else, I did have some thoughts about what Kara might be thinking during that time and I decided to focus on some points that those wonderful season 3 writers are probably not going to really hit on while they keep stabbing her with Kryptonite arrows into her heart for about half a season now! Since they won't let her say what she's really thinking, I decided to do it in this little one-shot!
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I watch him over there, smiling, sharing that beautiful smile with Imra. And it feels like a gut punch right through my stomach, worst than the worst Kryptonite pain I've ever felt. That's the smile he's supposed to give only to me. And you know what's even worst. He still flashes that smile at me, like boy, you made your choice don't even give me that beautiful gorgeous smile that makes even my muscular Kryptonian knees go weak. I have to stay strong. From a far and drink my club soda, but hold the club soda and more Aldebaran Rum please and like leave the bottle. But, that's still not the worst of the worst!
I watch him giving her that look with his eyes. Oh, Rao, those dark gray eyes of his. My heart! He used to only look at me with those eyes like that! They can be joyful like a giddy little kid one moment and than the next moment they can be really puppy sad or sometimes that look like he is absolutely going to devour me and drive me down into my bed, that is if I don't do it to him first and when we're done I'm going to have to face Alex and explain why the last unbreakable DEO issue bed needs to be replaced again. That was only one time... I smile for a second thinking back to better times when replacing my bed was the worst of the worst, but now I've been replaced, but that still is not the worst of the worst. I see him staring at me and for just a second, I can imagine he's looking at me with that look again, but it's only a passing, second, probably just my stupid imagination and wishful thinking but that still is not the worst of the worst!
I watch him training laughing playfully with that woman! Making his jokes. I would have been telling him he needs to be serious about his training, but now he looks like he knows what he's doing! Like he's teaching her, and being playful. I miss him being playful with me! I should have told him that! I never did! He was so damned playful! Now, he's only playful with her! But that still is not the worst of the worst!
That first day, when I wasn't even sure it was him anymore and I pulled at his shirt and my necklace popped out and it's the most awkward thing in the world, it was my necklace, the only thing I had of my mother's after my home planet's destruction, it was supposed to keep him safe, but in the back of my hopeful mind it was supposed to keep him safe when he returned it and himself back to me, I didn't want the necklace back, I just wanted him back, but now that he's back, I don't get to have either one back now! How, do I even ask for it back, I gave it to him, it was kind of sort of my own engagement necklace of a sort a promise that my love will go with him where ever he would go! Now, I have neither, and I can't ask for it back now, can I? And I don't even want it back, because I'm still in denial of all of this, after all we shared and he married someone else, even after 7 years, but that still isn't the worst of the worst!
I hear him telling stories about all of his adventures, fighting bad guys, saving the people, just like...just like I taught him. I inspired him! I don't know if it's just my imagination but when I finally saw his costume I kind of see my emblem on his chest almost blotted out and covered up for some reason! And with all his wonderful tales, the worst part of it, is I wasn't there to be with him, to help him to just bask in his glow, just to be proud of the man I thought he could and would be, I lost 7 years of that time, we could have been together sharing everything like we always did...except he did share all those things and spend time with...with someone else! That is almost the worst part!
The worst, absolutely worst part about all of this horrible situation, is I spent a year from the first moment I laid my eyes on him seeing good where he didn't even see it!
Alex didn't see it in the beginning! Not even J'onn with his mind reading ability!
No, I saw the good in that outer gorgeous but probably evil Daxamite shell!
And though he kept messing up constantly over and over and exasperatingly over again, he always was just a little bit better the next time! And though I never exactly told him I noticed it while I was yelling at him for his latest mess up! And he would give me those eyes again, and though I never told him, maybe my smiles did, the way I looked at him. As much as I thought I saw the good in him, the good man that was in there, I think he could read me like a book too, he knew, how I felt about him, I think before I even knew it!
So, from messing up at trying to be an intern at Catco, to trying to beat people up for money and his drinking at the bar there were moments I doubted myself, maybe Alex was right, but he kept trying, he would say he would quit, he was scared, he's not a hero, but I saw him with no training trying to help Guardian fight the Parasite!
I saw him with gun in hand making sure all the kidnapped kids and even my De-powered self were safe before he even thought about saving himself. He was scared he told me, but he didn't run away either. He told me I was stupid for running into danger, and than he did it too. He said he was a coward, not brave like me, but he did it too, with no training. I wasn't ready when I first became a hero either! But I kept yelling at him expecting him to be good right away, but he kept working at it!
He had lost his world, I had years raised by a loving family, he in less than one year, lost his home, was raised by future supervillains, had me chewing him out for not being ready on day one while he had just learned English! And look at who he became after that!
He became a wonderful partner, who encouraged me when I was down, he never let me see when he was down, except when I was yelling at him, but that's the thing about Mon-el he was like a stray puppy, one look into his eyes, and I don't think I've ever been mad at him for an entire day ever, at least not until he came back with a wife! But that is still not the worst of the worst!
With all the bad things that happened to him that year, my impatience was probably a little bit unfair! I had complained to Alex, that it was like he had never worked a day in his life, and little did I know that was probably the truth, but he actually worked at it! He got a job as a bartender, he couldn't make a clubsoda on day one, but he sure made a mean one over time. In less than a year he learned to cook, me well not so much with the discarded burned food at my failed attempts at cooking, I had to get rid of it before he came home to hide my sheer humiliation. Somehow, I think he knew, he always knew, but he would never tell me, because he always cared about my feelings, until now anyway! But now she probably gets to eat his cooking and drink his drinks, but still that is not the worst of the worst!
So, he got good at bar-tending, cooking, he wasn't always the best boyfriend in the world and than something happened, it always happened with Mon-el he worked on it and he became the best boyfriend I ever had. The absolutely best man I couldn't have even imagined a better one in my wildest dreams! There he was! He became the man I thought I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I did all that work, and he did all that work at being the best man I would absolutely want to spend the rest of my life with forever!
And here comes Imra, telling me, "thank you very much!" Is she expecting me to say your welcome, it's not happening, it's taking all my Kryptonian strength not to deck her and put her in that cell I put Mon-el in the other day, as I grimace trying to flash the fakest smile in the history of all creation! You, would not have to be a telepath to read this fakest of fake, I hate you smiles!
"Your my hero," you made this gorgeous man absolutely the best husband a woman could ask for ever, just for me! You trained him to be the best hero in the future, our very own Superman!
Meanwhile, I don't even get to see a single moment of it, and she gets everything, and I get nothing but 7 months of crying that he might not even be alive because of me, and he got to live without me, I encouraged him, worked with him, put all that effort for him to be the man I thought he could be and here he is. The man I thought he could be with someone else!
And here he comes now looking at me with that look again that used to be his way of telling me that he loves me, and he always says the same damned thing! "I know how hard this is for you...blah...blah...blah...I keep looking into his eyes looking for the love and I swear to Rao I still see it damn it, it's there I know it! He still loves me, he even told me that he still cared about me, but he still married her instead! Why couldn't he have waited just a little bit longer?
I know, that this is worst than the worst!
I put all that effort refining that imperfect Daxamite, making him a man I would want to spend the rest of my life with, he stood right by my side supporting me, making me so happy, that I could cry!
Now, I just want to cry that she gets to be with him and be happily ever after with him, I get to be destroyed by some Kryptonian killing machine and she wants me to fix her ship and send him far away from me again forever?
If this isn't the worst of the worst things you've ever heard in your life, than tell me what it is?
Like for even my worst enemy I would not have even imagined or written any thing this cruel to happen in their life!
This is the worst of the worst!
The end!
Author's final notes- You, know I still look forward to watching Supergirl and I loved season 1 and 2 even if I thought Jimmy and Kara were a problematic coupling him being engaged and all, but the writing this year has been spotty especially their version of the Legion of Superheroes. The title of this story might tell you what I'm thinking about some of their writing choices lately, but I love the actors so much with the exception of a certain someone who should at least be pretending to use mind control, but if you ever watch one of Amy's scenes, she literally gives nothing extra. She doesn't look like she loves Mon-el no matter what she says! She doesn't look sympathetic to Kara, no matter what she says and when an actor who knows she's playing a Telepath named Saturngirl who may or may not be mind controlling Mon-el doesn't even try to act in her scenes like she's actually doing that with him or even Psi for that matter, she sucks! Nothing to do with the other complaints I see on Twitter about her, she's just a terrible actor, she just is! Don't even get me started on a telepath not knowing which side of her face has BBQ sauce, and like where did that hack writing idea from the depths of hell even come from besides every show that has had a love triangle ever? Look up original in the dictionary Supergirl writers and it will say be original for once for Rao's sake!
So, this story was me venting a little bit, I still like Valor the character even if the show won't even say his name or let him actually use his powers even one freaking time this entire season! Still waiting for it! Still waiting! Superslow is not a power, if Saturngirl punches him in the stomach it should break her hand, even if he was pretending when I don't see any powers it's not reassuring to me that he has any, he can't punch through ice or anything else for that matter and it's his ring flying not him! I want Karamel back, and not with a problematic marriage, that they will probably come up with the stupidest of excuses to get out of , but that's why I have my own version of season 3, I'll go back to working on it, since the writers keep not showing what I want them to show, I thought I would express my thoughts and feelings through writing, let me know what you think